Restrict, Binge, Exercise, Repeat . . .
Rant, mentions of specific food and calorie counts, don't read if this will trigger you. Edited to fix the lj cut!
Argh, I've got a really bad habit these last few days. The time of the month is upon me, and I get mad chocolate/sweet cravings. I've been sort of restricting - not counting calories and having a goal, just eating as little or low calorie stuff as I can get away with.
This morning, cereal bar (90), 2 eggs in lowcal spray with 2 slices toast and ketchup (300?), I plannned to take another cereal bar with me when I left the house, and I knew I would have to eat some dinner in the evening.
Well, I forgot to take my cereal bar, I had chocolate cravings, and I just missed the bus so I got 3 chocolate bars on offer for £1.20, meant to make them last . . . and ate all of them before dinner. That's what, 300 cals a bar (at least!), so 690 calories, *before* dinner of pasta with mild pork curry and then I was thinking "what's the point" and ate a bowl of cereal.
>.<
On the plus side, I walked around for at least 40 minutes today, but I couldn't do any more walking this evening because my foot is still bad. On days when my foot hasn't been bad, I've been going on hour long or more walks, and I guess I'm clocking up quite a distance because I walk pretty fast.
I *know* that restricting too much is bad for me because I can't stop myself from bingeing afterwards, but I feel so good and in control when I'm feeling hungry but telling my body that it can wait on my pleasure, and get fed when I decide. I would ask you if I was nuts, but my doctor just doubled the dose of my anti-anxiety/depression medication, so yeah :s
I'm not sure where I'm going with this, I guess I just want someone to tell me it's ok to eat, that the control I feel is illusory if I'm going to binge anyway.
Argh, I've got a really bad habit these last few days. The time of the month is upon me, and I get mad chocolate/sweet cravings. I've been sort of restricting - not counting calories and having a goal, just eating as little or low calorie stuff as I can get away with.
This morning, cereal bar (90), 2 eggs in lowcal spray with 2 slices toast and ketchup (300?), I plannned to take another cereal bar with me when I left the house, and I knew I would have to eat some dinner in the evening.
Well, I forgot to take my cereal bar, I had chocolate cravings, and I just missed the bus so I got 3 chocolate bars on offer for £1.20, meant to make them last . . . and ate all of them before dinner. That's what, 300 cals a bar (at least!), so 690 calories, *before* dinner of pasta with mild pork curry and then I was thinking "what's the point" and ate a bowl of cereal.
>.<
On the plus side, I walked around for at least 40 minutes today, but I couldn't do any more walking this evening because my foot is still bad. On days when my foot hasn't been bad, I've been going on hour long or more walks, and I guess I'm clocking up quite a distance because I walk pretty fast.
I *know* that restricting too much is bad for me because I can't stop myself from bingeing afterwards, but I feel so good and in control when I'm feeling hungry but telling my body that it can wait on my pleasure, and get fed when I decide. I would ask you if I was nuts, but my doctor just doubled the dose of my anti-anxiety/depression medication, so yeah :s
I'm not sure where I'm going with this, I guess I just want someone to tell me it's ok to eat, that the control I feel is illusory if I'm going to binge anyway.