a poor choice of words in wanting to tell you anything
first of all im going to fucking fail shop this quarter.. i don't even think i've passed more than 4 out of the 50 tests.. and it's not even that I don't get the material. it's just the fucking wording on some tests and the fact that the other teacher would rather sit there and flirt with a fucking student while im sitting there asking him how to do something that i don't even understand.. and i just continuosley get blown off. and he wonder's why im bombing his tests? then yesterday we had to work on a fucking spreadsheet and he comes over to me and tells me its all wrong and he didn't even help me.. but he did someone else's for them?.. fuck that.
another thing that's been driving me fucking crazy is my family. every single day when i come home my mom bitches and complains about something i have or haven't done.. like get a job or clean my room.. or how im always home then she turns it around and says that im never home. it drives me crazy. then my dad will yell at me for things that i don't even do.. it's not my fault all he does is drink and doesn't remember shit. they need to fucking let go of me and let me grow up before i go crazy.. im 16.. it's about time to let me live my life and learn from my mistakes.. by myself.
i realized somethings about myself.. i can't take putting up with my past. i either end up hating and regreting it or missing it and wanting it back.. either way i can't let go of it. sometimes i'll just sit in my room listening to music.. and it will remind me of something and i'll either want to punch the fuck out of my wall or break down and cry.. another thing i can't stand about myself is my jealously issue.. i get jealous so fucking easily and then i always start a fight about it afterwards. i really need to get over these things or else i won't be happy when i grow up.
all i want is to make it out of this town and stay far away from the drama and everything else that comes with it.. im so sick of everyone here all they do is get bored with their own lives and invade yours. its so pointless and everyone needs to grow up and realize everything doesn't fucking revolve around them. and they're not fucking perfect. i honestly hate more people than i love in this town. do you not realize how stuck up half of you are? you all think everyone loves you well guess what they dont. im so glad i went to the tech.. because most people there aren't fake.
another thing that's been driving me fucking crazy is my family. every single day when i come home my mom bitches and complains about something i have or haven't done.. like get a job or clean my room.. or how im always home then she turns it around and says that im never home. it drives me crazy. then my dad will yell at me for things that i don't even do.. it's not my fault all he does is drink and doesn't remember shit. they need to fucking let go of me and let me grow up before i go crazy.. im 16.. it's about time to let me live my life and learn from my mistakes.. by myself.
i realized somethings about myself.. i can't take putting up with my past. i either end up hating and regreting it or missing it and wanting it back.. either way i can't let go of it. sometimes i'll just sit in my room listening to music.. and it will remind me of something and i'll either want to punch the fuck out of my wall or break down and cry.. another thing i can't stand about myself is my jealously issue.. i get jealous so fucking easily and then i always start a fight about it afterwards. i really need to get over these things or else i won't be happy when i grow up.
all i want is to make it out of this town and stay far away from the drama and everything else that comes with it.. im so sick of everyone here all they do is get bored with their own lives and invade yours. its so pointless and everyone needs to grow up and realize everything doesn't fucking revolve around them. and they're not fucking perfect. i honestly hate more people than i love in this town. do you not realize how stuck up half of you are? you all think everyone loves you well guess what they dont. im so glad i went to the tech.. because most people there aren't fake.