A brief account of what's been keeping me up recent nights:
I really need to get a job, because I just paid May's rent and now I have about $60 to my name. I've been turning in applications like mad, but nobody's calling me back. I hope after Thursday, once XU kids go home, I'll find somewhere to work. Otherwise, I'm fucked.
I'm pretty sure I hate him, yet I can't seem to stop caring. I just wish so many things hadn't happened between us. I wish we never got so close so quickly; I wish we didn't know so many of each other's secrets; I sometimes wish I never met him. He can just be such an asshole sometimes, and then he wonders why I never call him anymore. I'm sorry, but when we don't talk for three weeks, then you start calling me and trying to hang out all the time, you'll get me to assume that things are back to normal. So when I find out that the only reason we were hanging out so much again is because you broke up with your girlfriend and you think we're going to start fucking again, that makes me want to punch you in the fucking face. Especially since we've stopped hanging out again now that you realize I'm sort of seeing your friend, and there's no chance that I will be doing anything sexual with you again. Ever. Oh yeah, and I want my copy of Welcome to the Monkey House back. Penis-breath.
I'm avoiding calling a boy because I know what will happen when I do, and while it will be wonderful, it's so so wrong.
Oh, and Steve. Ha, well I just don't know what's going on with Steve. He's such a sweet boy, and he's great and all that, I just hope he realizes that I'm not lying when I say I'm not looking for a relationship. He told me he wasn't, either, but, then I heard from a mutual friend that while he's not looking for one, he's also not going to turn one down. I don't know, we'll see.
Uy, and I need to get all my shit moved out of the dorms and into the apartment by Thursday, at which point I have to go up to Columbus and Youngstown to get furniture so I can bring it back down to cinci and finally move into the apartment that I can't afford right now. Oh!!!! Textbooks! I haven't sold any back yet, not even from last semester! And I have that big fucking biology book. Ooh, at least I'll have money for food now.
I'm pretty sure I hate him, yet I can't seem to stop caring. I just wish so many things hadn't happened between us. I wish we never got so close so quickly; I wish we didn't know so many of each other's secrets; I sometimes wish I never met him. He can just be such an asshole sometimes, and then he wonders why I never call him anymore. I'm sorry, but when we don't talk for three weeks, then you start calling me and trying to hang out all the time, you'll get me to assume that things are back to normal. So when I find out that the only reason we were hanging out so much again is because you broke up with your girlfriend and you think we're going to start fucking again, that makes me want to punch you in the fucking face. Especially since we've stopped hanging out again now that you realize I'm sort of seeing your friend, and there's no chance that I will be doing anything sexual with you again. Ever. Oh yeah, and I want my copy of Welcome to the Monkey House back. Penis-breath.
I'm avoiding calling a boy because I know what will happen when I do, and while it will be wonderful, it's so so wrong.
Oh, and Steve. Ha, well I just don't know what's going on with Steve. He's such a sweet boy, and he's great and all that, I just hope he realizes that I'm not lying when I say I'm not looking for a relationship. He told me he wasn't, either, but, then I heard from a mutual friend that while he's not looking for one, he's also not going to turn one down. I don't know, we'll see.
Uy, and I need to get all my shit moved out of the dorms and into the apartment by Thursday, at which point I have to go up to Columbus and Youngstown to get furniture so I can bring it back down to cinci and finally move into the apartment that I can't afford right now. Oh!!!! Textbooks! I haven't sold any back yet, not even from last semester! And I have that big fucking biology book. Ooh, at least I'll have money for food now.