(no subject)
Time to essay again. It's RP-related but I'm honestly kicking myself for not seeing this in the series itself.
It's also a bit jumbly, so I'm sorry if my connections don't make much sense. :/
So first off, I believe Goku is a borderline--if not full-blown--autophobic. There are three definitions to the term, but the one I tend to refer to is "fear of being alone." (In a way he's also one of the other terms--"fear of oneself"--if you count Goku and Seiten Taisei as one being. I both do and don't. It's complicated.)
Anyhow. That isn't to say that Goku couldn't handle being alone, but he does hate it and being completely isolated makes him emo and hazy-eyed and just as angsty as any other cast member.
At the same time, Goku hates being smothered. He shoves against most forms of forceful authority because he hates the idea of being "babysat"--it's like being watched all the time and being told what to do all the time. Naturally, his childish side rebels against that. His more mature side is thinking more along the lines of being a prisoner.
Being a prisoner and having Seiten Taisei within him create a very, very big problem for Goku.
First of all, Seiten Taisei is in a bad position, from his point of view--so long as the limiter is on, he's a persona trapped within Goku. Once out, he goes all-out crazy and wants to kill any and everything in his path. I have a several thousand theories behind this, but the one I go with in the roleplay is that he's simply so outraged at the injustices done to him (I honestly believe Seiten Taisei retains Goku's lost memories of Gaiden) that he wants to finish what he started. Since he can't reach the gods, he just kills what he can see. Seiten Taisei is far from sane, however, and that's why I call a lot of his actions "animalistic."
Point is, in regards to the limiter, he's a prisoner.
In regards to the limiter, Son Goku is also a prisoner. Because of Seiten Taisei.
After the most recent Seiten Taisei incident, Goku talked to Sanzo--Sanzo said something like, "I won't always be around, dumbass." And that's when it hit Goku--that he can't really ever leave Sanzo, even if he wanted to. Because the fact Seiten Taisei exists means Goku himself is a threat to the world. Letting him out on his own, without any sort of supervision, is wishing homicide to the world. Because shit happens.
In all canons I cover, and in camp, Goku's limiter has come off nine times. Reasons and how being:
1) In Gaiden, seeing his friend just about kill himself caused Goku so much agony the limiter shattered
2) In the manga, Goku's limiter shattered when Sanzo was stabbed and looked dead
3) In the manga, Goku removed his limiter so he could fight Kougaiji without hesitation and hopefully save Sanzo
4) In the anime, Homura removes Goku's limiter to unleash his power
5) In a RELOAD flashback, child!Goku is chased by monks, and his sheer terror causes the limiter to shatter
6) In the latest RELOAD installments, Hakkai removes Goku's limiter in hopes it will somehow keep him from dying (I'm not sure on the specifics, since it doesn't seem he knew Seiten could manipulate chi)
7) In camp, it got snagged on a tree branch (granted, the tree was moving and yoinked it off)
8) In camp, Xellos removed it when Goku told him about the limiters and youkais' birthmarks
9) In camp, Peanut Butter removed it (I never got a chance to reveal the specifics, but the idea in mind was more crack-y, and that Peanut Butter would prefer his Master insane and with matching fangs to boot)
Shit happens.
Goku's coming to realize that, no matter what he may want, granting him that sort of freedom would be utter stupidity on Sanzo's part. The latest chapters don't affect anything but how Seiten fights now; I just used them as a means for his powers to grow like they canonically do. So Goku doesn't know about the whole "Sanzo leaving the ikkou" thing. So that particular incident doesn't come into play with how he's thinking right now.
And how he's thinking right now is that it would be stupid for Sanzo to let him do something like, say, travel the world alone. He's too great a danger. And as much as Goku would prefer to always be around Sanzo (or at least know where he is if he needs him; those issues to mayhaps be essayed another time) knowing that he really doesn't have a choice is freaking him the hell out. "I live my life how I want to"--that's how Goku thinks. If he can't make a simple choice like "do I stay or go?" then he can't really live it how he may want to. And Goku wants a lot of things. A lot of things Goku wants even contradict themselves.
But that's why he likes having a choice, and not having a choice makes him claustrophobic, in a way. Goku is Not a Happy Monkey about this new revelation.
So in short... I ought to be writing fanfiction on this, not essaying. Gawd.
It's also a bit jumbly, so I'm sorry if my connections don't make much sense. :/
So first off, I believe Goku is a borderline--if not full-blown--autophobic. There are three definitions to the term, but the one I tend to refer to is "fear of being alone." (In a way he's also one of the other terms--"fear of oneself"--if you count Goku and Seiten Taisei as one being. I both do and don't. It's complicated.)
Anyhow. That isn't to say that Goku couldn't handle being alone, but he does hate it and being completely isolated makes him emo and hazy-eyed and just as angsty as any other cast member.
At the same time, Goku hates being smothered. He shoves against most forms of forceful authority because he hates the idea of being "babysat"--it's like being watched all the time and being told what to do all the time. Naturally, his childish side rebels against that. His more mature side is thinking more along the lines of being a prisoner.
Being a prisoner and having Seiten Taisei within him create a very, very big problem for Goku.
First of all, Seiten Taisei is in a bad position, from his point of view--so long as the limiter is on, he's a persona trapped within Goku. Once out, he goes all-out crazy and wants to kill any and everything in his path. I have a several thousand theories behind this, but the one I go with in the roleplay is that he's simply so outraged at the injustices done to him (I honestly believe Seiten Taisei retains Goku's lost memories of Gaiden) that he wants to finish what he started. Since he can't reach the gods, he just kills what he can see. Seiten Taisei is far from sane, however, and that's why I call a lot of his actions "animalistic."
Point is, in regards to the limiter, he's a prisoner.
In regards to the limiter, Son Goku is also a prisoner. Because of Seiten Taisei.
After the most recent Seiten Taisei incident, Goku talked to Sanzo--Sanzo said something like, "I won't always be around, dumbass." And that's when it hit Goku--that he can't really ever leave Sanzo, even if he wanted to. Because the fact Seiten Taisei exists means Goku himself is a threat to the world. Letting him out on his own, without any sort of supervision, is wishing homicide to the world. Because shit happens.
In all canons I cover, and in camp, Goku's limiter has come off nine times. Reasons and how being:
1) In Gaiden, seeing his friend just about kill himself caused Goku so much agony the limiter shattered
2) In the manga, Goku's limiter shattered when Sanzo was stabbed and looked dead
3) In the manga, Goku removed his limiter so he could fight Kougaiji without hesitation and hopefully save Sanzo
4) In the anime, Homura removes Goku's limiter to unleash his power
5) In a RELOAD flashback, child!Goku is chased by monks, and his sheer terror causes the limiter to shatter
6) In the latest RELOAD installments, Hakkai removes Goku's limiter in hopes it will somehow keep him from dying (I'm not sure on the specifics, since it doesn't seem he knew Seiten could manipulate chi)
7) In camp, it got snagged on a tree branch (granted, the tree was moving and yoinked it off)
8) In camp, Xellos removed it when Goku told him about the limiters and youkais' birthmarks
9) In camp, Peanut Butter removed it (I never got a chance to reveal the specifics, but the idea in mind was more crack-y, and that Peanut Butter would prefer his Master insane and with matching fangs to boot)
Shit happens.
Goku's coming to realize that, no matter what he may want, granting him that sort of freedom would be utter stupidity on Sanzo's part. The latest chapters don't affect anything but how Seiten fights now; I just used them as a means for his powers to grow like they canonically do. So Goku doesn't know about the whole "Sanzo leaving the ikkou" thing. So that particular incident doesn't come into play with how he's thinking right now.
And how he's thinking right now is that it would be stupid for Sanzo to let him do something like, say, travel the world alone. He's too great a danger. And as much as Goku would prefer to always be around Sanzo (or at least know where he is if he needs him; those issues to mayhaps be essayed another time) knowing that he really doesn't have a choice is freaking him the hell out. "I live my life how I want to"--that's how Goku thinks. If he can't make a simple choice like "do I stay or go?" then he can't really live it how he may want to. And Goku wants a lot of things. A lot of things Goku wants even contradict themselves.
But that's why he likes having a choice, and not having a choice makes him claustrophobic, in a way. Goku is Not a Happy Monkey about this new revelation.
So in short... I ought to be writing fanfiction on this, not essaying. Gawd.