On leaving the church

[loonylupinlover]

As requested by the ever-lovely, and exceedingly thoughtful Christian, evilnel :

Leaving the Church

There were a number of reasons I left my church, and ultimately, Christianity. As an inquisitive child, there were many questions I had about Christianity from the start, and these questions were never satisfactorily answered by the Bible or elders,

Comments

[evilnel]

This is a powerful, and intensely painful testimony to read. I keep wondering, what if somebody had stepped in and answered your questions, or acted the part, or explained that Paul's views on women are not as straight-forward as conservatives would have you think... It's so sad to see how the church failed you, but that's exactly what happened. You tried, and you kept your faith alive with no help from a community, but in the end we need help and guidance to grow. You got hypocrisy and exclusion instead.

The church you talk about, the accepting one where women and gays have a place, that's a church that's fighting to flourish, and it's small, but we're trying. Even if you don't believe in God, maybe you can have some hope that there are groups of us in the ELCA, Episcopal church, Presbyterian church, and Methodist church who think that God wants us to wrestle with those questions and be open to all people and do good work.

Thank you for sharing this.

[loonylupinlover]

Thank you. It dredged up a lot of old emotions to write it, and to go back through my old diaries at home to pull out specific incidents. There's just such a huge thread of constant disappointment and being let down in my religious life, and it is sad to go back and see that.

I do have hope when I see Christians who do open their arms to a wider variety of people, or Christians who, while conservative, are open to debate. I don't know that I can ever go back to that... but I do know that I'll always have a faint understanding of how religion can be a force of good in people's lives. Even when I feel intensely atheist I'll often defend religion to others because I do recognize that.

You're welcome.

And re: your latest post, <3 <3 <3. I've had that feeling before too, multiple times in the past 2-3 years, and it sucks and I'm sorry. I hope people stop being rude or unaware or whatever it is. :(

[lady_tigerfish]

Extremely eloquent, fascinating, and, yes, painful. Thanks for writing this.