So I've completed my journey 100% successful. 3 months of abstaining from music, movies, television, books, entertainment, social interraction, meat, then delving further into total isolation, starvation, intense daily meditation, and constant battling against ego desires and attachments. I felt very victorious, but ever since I finished I've been ( Read more... )

What an amazing break through. I had the most epic yet incredibly anti-climactic battle today against sugar cookies. I wanted one soooo bad and they were right in front of my face and though it would have compromise the integrity of the entire journey that I am on and made me feel guitly about it I was so ready to say "fuck it, it's just a cookie ( Read more... )

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It's funny, looking back on all the interests I posted when I first got this thing and realizing how most of them are no longer interests of mine. So today was an amazing day, my calling to BAkersfield has been affirmed. I went to a little metaphysical book store much like the white lotus called The Enchanted Cottage and it had a very amazing feel ( Read more... )

Such a revalation of a weekend. So many things have come to light. Really accelarating the urgency to fulfill my path. I wish I could talk of some the things but it's all pretty much on a need to know basis. I broke up with Carly awhile ago. I'm still feeling a bit empty from it. She's a very sweet girl and full of love and joy and warmth. She ( Read more... )

I guess since I read CArly's little posts I feel like writing one. Today I was a little outside of myself I feel. THis morning was lots of fun because we were in the tired mode which made things more hilarious to interpret and pronounce. I feel like running up into the hills with a samurai sword and doing battle with 100 ninjas. Sometimes I just ( Read more... )

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whew! I had a very miraculous dream as well as sleep and it was all about John's father who's in B.O.T.A. and he was teaching me different rituals and guiding me through some initiations from his order and he was telling me as an exercise to form a relationship with a hamburger. I couldn't do it because I didn't have the ability to trust the ( Read more... )

yaay. I found a bunch of old hat drawings from Mr/ Olsen's class of art. There are a few good ones that I never finished. I shall tack them onto my theoretical corque board of ambitions. So things are going all according to plan, that's all I can say, my dreams have been WICKED ASS and today I will further develop my psychic abilities. Who on earth ( Read more... )

You don't need to read this, it probably won't serve you any, I just need to vent ( Read more... )