I feel so frustrated after dealing with Quinton. I can't read him for starters. I don't know why I'm even attracted to him, I just know that I'm meant to be. Like I know there is something there that I am supposed to see and I want to see it but I can't see it. Down right frustrating. And he's impatient. Thinks he can just tell me what he wants and I'm gonna jump up and down with joy. I don't want to know what he wants because that is obvious even to me. I want to know what he is feeling, and he can't tell me that
( ... )
It's too lonely up here so I retreat back to my quarters. The first thing I notice is my sketch pad. I left it on the floor. I walk over and look at it; I didn't draw that.
Picking up the pad I immediately smell Sonny, he was here. I run my fingertips over the picture and end up with them on the empty face. I sense his thoughts; his questions.
Sighing I put the pad on my desk and once again stroke the picture. I smile to myself that he took the time to do this. I look at the clock and it's after midnight; tomorrow.
I walk with a purpose towards his quarters, but spy him in the common room. Taking a deep breath I walk directly to him. I can feel the others' eyes on me, but my purpose is Sonny.
He looks up at me and I hold out my hand, "Sonny, I have some things to tell you. Will you join me on the roof?"
I've kicked my own ass at chess three times when I sense him beside me. I look up at him.
Sonny, I have some things to tell you. Will you join me on the roof?
I look at his offered hand then back up to his face. The roof. Hmmmm. Why can't he just tell me some things here. But then maybe this is part of revealing to me who he is. I hope so, I really do, because if it turns out to be some big romantic gesture I'll kick his ass off that damn roof. I'm not up for a show.
I'll give him a chance to prove that is not what he is about.
I reach out and take his hand as I stand. "The roof it is then."
I smile and sigh a sense of relief. As he stands I let go of his hand and lead the way up to the roof.
Once out there I go over to the half wall and look out over the ocean. "When I was eight my father hit me for the first time. I had spent five dollars on a toy. He made sure I knew that was wrong. From that point on I knew I had to be, or assume to be, what he wanted or there was a price to pay."
Turning around I look at him, "When I turned sixteen, I decided enough was enough and told him I was gay," I look away, "my nose wasn't always like this. He beat me so bad and broke my nose to the point it had to be rebuilt."
I absently touch my nose, "My mother protected me for the most part after that, sending me away to school, sneaking me money when she knew I was doing much more living than studying
( ... )
I listen to him talk about his life, the factors that moulded him into this man that pretends for everyone. My heart thumps loudly in my chest. This is what I wanted. The man inside of that man who pretends.
I smile at him and look around at where we are. It's very quiet here, just the sound of the ocean to keep the mind occupied. But obviously it holds something for him.
I move to sit on the wall beside him. I cock my head at him. "Why bring me up here to tell me about yourself?"
My eyes fly open and I'm taken with how his face looks. So calm so.. more than beautiful... oh those lips. I press my hand against the back of his head and return his kiss this time parting my lips slightly letting him decide how far to take this.
My eyelids fall shut after taking in the sprinkling of freckles on his nose and thinking how I want to map each one, but for now I want to feel him pressed against me.
My lips curl into a smile as I feel his mouth open under mine but it's not a confident move on his part. I dip my tongue between his lips a little, just a taste, and oh what a taste. I pull back slightly and process it chewing on the inside of my mouth. He's still hesitant, I can sense it, worried, afraid of being rejected. He may not be aware of it but I am.
Which means... I am reading him!
My smile broadens, oh yeah I want more of this! My hand slips from his cheek to wrap around the back of his neck pulling him to me as I kiss him again. I don't wait for him to open his mouth this time, just plunge my tongue between his lips tasting him. My fingers slide up into his hair and then he is opening up to me and we are kissing for real, lips and tongues and tasting and hot and oh man it's so fucking good!
Oh yes! Curling my calves around his hips, I slip my hands under his arms and hold him close as he kisses me passionately. I moan into the kiss and grip the back of his shirt.
I feel his hair brush across the backs of my hands. It's so fucking soft and long. I want to see it splayed out on my bed so bad! I kiss him back unable to hold back any longer. I want him so much!
Somewhere in the kiss - kisses, not sure which because it all just folds into one seamless melding of lips, tongues and... him, my fangs come out. It's a bit disconcerting, odd, and familiar, so I pull back.
I open my eyes, not even realising I had them closed, and look at him. Wow. I chew on my bottom lip. He looks so beautiful, delicious almost, his lips swollen and red, his eyes slipping open, so bright against his pale skin. I bite into my tongue at the memory of what he tastes like. It makes me bring my hands up and push him back further.
"I want to be sure that you know, this is my decision, not what..." I pause, fully aware of his legs pressing against me, the feel of his hands still a very recent memory in my hair. "My..." It's very hard to hold onto my words while looking at him. "You know.. vampire... lust..."
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Picking up the pad I immediately smell Sonny, he was here. I run my fingertips over the picture and end up with them on the empty face. I sense his thoughts; his questions.
Sighing I put the pad on my desk and once again stroke the picture. I smile to myself that he took the time to do this. I look at the clock and it's after midnight; tomorrow.
I walk with a purpose towards his quarters, but spy him in the common room. Taking a deep breath I walk directly to him. I can feel the others' eyes on me, but my purpose is Sonny.
He looks up at me and I hold out my hand, "Sonny, I have some things to tell you. Will you join me on the roof?"
Reply
Sonny, I have some things to tell you. Will you join me on the roof?
I look at his offered hand then back up to his face. The roof. Hmmmm. Why can't he just tell me some things here. But then maybe this is part of revealing to me who he is. I hope so, I really do, because if it turns out to be some big romantic gesture I'll kick his ass off that damn roof. I'm not up for a show.
I'll give him a chance to prove that is not what he is about.
I reach out and take his hand as I stand. "The roof it is then."
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Once out there I go over to the half wall and look out over the ocean. "When I was eight my father hit me for the first time. I had spent five dollars on a toy. He made sure I knew that was wrong. From that point on I knew I had to be, or assume to be, what he wanted or there was a price to pay."
Turning around I look at him, "When I turned sixteen, I decided enough was enough and told him I was gay," I look away, "my nose wasn't always like this. He beat me so bad and broke my nose to the point it had to be rebuilt."
I absently touch my nose, "My mother protected me for the most part after that, sending me away to school, sneaking me money when she knew I was doing much more living than studying ( ... )
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I smile at him and look around at where we are. It's very quiet here, just the sound of the ocean to keep the mind occupied. But obviously it holds something for him.
I move to sit on the wall beside him. I cock my head at him. "Why bring me up here to tell me about yourself?"
Reply
My eyelids fall shut after taking in the sprinkling of freckles on his nose and thinking how I want to map each one, but for now I want to feel him pressed against me.
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Which means... I am reading him!
My smile broadens, oh yeah I want more of this! My hand slips from his cheek to wrap around the back of his neck pulling him to me as I kiss him again. I don't wait for him to open his mouth this time, just plunge my tongue between his lips tasting him. My fingers slide up into his hair and then he is opening up to me and we are kissing for real, lips and tongues and tasting and hot and oh man it's so fucking good!
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I feel his hair brush across the backs of my hands. It's so fucking soft and long. I want to see it splayed out on my bed so bad! I kiss him back unable to hold back any longer. I want him so much!
Reply
I open my eyes, not even realising I had them closed, and look at him. Wow. I chew on my bottom lip. He looks so beautiful, delicious almost, his lips swollen and red, his eyes slipping open, so bright against his pale skin. I bite into my tongue at the memory of what he tastes like. It makes me bring my hands up and push him back further.
"I want to be sure that you know, this is my decision, not what..." I pause, fully aware of his legs pressing against me, the feel of his hands still a very recent memory in my hair. "My..." It's very hard to hold onto my words while looking at him. "You know.. vampire... lust..."
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