Why Is It So Hard??
He wanted this, he asked for the divorce. I was willing to stay with him, never ever hurt him again no matter what I felt. I knew when he asked for the divorce I should have insisted we wait till he was out of Danvers, not that it would have made a difference maybe but all these what ifs are driving me mad.
Rhys said he did it too, and that at my core I know this is the right thing. And I do… there is just that nagging voice… Maybe Rhys is right, in time it will go away. Maybe if I didn’t feel him it wouldn’t be like this.
I love Elijah and when we are together everything else disappears. It’s always been like that. It was hard for me to let go of Craig, I suppose this too will take time. I worry about Dev. For him to have gotten wasted and be with the Kenta clan… ugh it’s not my problem. Devon IS a grown man. He ASKED for the divorce.
I’m kinda glad I didn’t see him the other night. If he IS having second thoughts, I’d know as soon as I looked at him. The thought of him hurting… I’d want to hold him and make it all better, but then I’d be hurting Elijah and myself. As awful as it is if I could have them both it would be perfect. But that’s not what either of them want, not sure I would either.
Rhys said he did it too, and that at my core I know this is the right thing. And I do… there is just that nagging voice… Maybe Rhys is right, in time it will go away. Maybe if I didn’t feel him it wouldn’t be like this.
I love Elijah and when we are together everything else disappears. It’s always been like that. It was hard for me to let go of Craig, I suppose this too will take time. I worry about Dev. For him to have gotten wasted and be with the Kenta clan… ugh it’s not my problem. Devon IS a grown man. He ASKED for the divorce.
I’m kinda glad I didn’t see him the other night. If he IS having second thoughts, I’d know as soon as I looked at him. The thought of him hurting… I’d want to hold him and make it all better, but then I’d be hurting Elijah and myself. As awful as it is if I could have them both it would be perfect. But that’s not what either of them want, not sure I would either.