Research
I need to speak to Michael. He has been distracted these past few weeks, and I understand, but I feel he holds the missing piece of the puzzle.
Knocking on his office door I hear nothing, but I can see his shadow moving behind the frosted glass - then it is gone. FUck. Trying the door I find it unlocked. Helping myself I walk in and stand there looking around wondering if he would dare leave anything of any importance here. Doubtful.
Moving to the file cabinet I open it and pull out a random file, nothing I care about. I slam the drawer shut and lay my head against the wall next to it. I know rationally I am thinking to much about him. The answer is surely right in front of me. Lucifer should not be alive in any form, much less have an entire domain of his own - yet he does. Why? The legend behind his fall is true, but it is not the full truth. Yes he tried to take over and was sold out by, well Gabriel NOT Michael, and was cast out. But why hell? Why give him the power he so desperately desired?
Too many unanswered questions! Why do I need to know? Why do I insist on searching for more about him? What is it I'm trying to find? I have plenty of reason to despise him, detest and be disgusted by him. But I am not. I am drawn to him more and more every day. Yes, sexually he invades my dreams and fantasies, but there is no denying he sexually attractive.
Now that I am on Council with him I can feel his intense eyes on me, read his thoughts and desires. They should sicken me, but I only find myself wanting to be the star of them. I want him to want me, desire me, need me.
There is more though, something there in him I can not read - something I feel a desperate tug in my heart to find out - find out for me, something I need from him. Something I want... clenching my jaw I turn around unwilling to except what my next thought might be.
Knocking on his office door I hear nothing, but I can see his shadow moving behind the frosted glass - then it is gone. FUck. Trying the door I find it unlocked. Helping myself I walk in and stand there looking around wondering if he would dare leave anything of any importance here. Doubtful.
Moving to the file cabinet I open it and pull out a random file, nothing I care about. I slam the drawer shut and lay my head against the wall next to it. I know rationally I am thinking to much about him. The answer is surely right in front of me. Lucifer should not be alive in any form, much less have an entire domain of his own - yet he does. Why? The legend behind his fall is true, but it is not the full truth. Yes he tried to take over and was sold out by, well Gabriel NOT Michael, and was cast out. But why hell? Why give him the power he so desperately desired?
Too many unanswered questions! Why do I need to know? Why do I insist on searching for more about him? What is it I'm trying to find? I have plenty of reason to despise him, detest and be disgusted by him. But I am not. I am drawn to him more and more every day. Yes, sexually he invades my dreams and fantasies, but there is no denying he sexually attractive.
Now that I am on Council with him I can feel his intense eyes on me, read his thoughts and desires. They should sicken me, but I only find myself wanting to be the star of them. I want him to want me, desire me, need me.
There is more though, something there in him I can not read - something I feel a desperate tug in my heart to find out - find out for me, something I need from him. Something I want... clenching my jaw I turn around unwilling to except what my next thought might be.