Night Time Is The Worst

[__orli__]

The week has gone by fairly fast. It took me awhile but I feel very comfortable with Lij. Been in my swim trunks even. Made a few jokes about being a beached whale, but he assured me in his sweet way that I looked good. Funny thing - I believe him. I don't know, maybe when he looks at me he still sees model Orlando.

Comments

[elijah__j__wood]

I have not long gotten back from Rhys and am in bed attempting to get to sleep when I hear a noise, footsteps heading toward the kitchen. I know what it is or should I say who. I've been leaving it go. I know he has been sneaking food, and lots of it. His lies and self denial sound so familiar. One addict recognises another. I'm not to sure how to handle his though.

I think this time though I need to at least try something. I tried showing him my love for him and yet it is not enough. Rhys was not enough for me either until I lost him but losing me is not what Orli needs.

I go on out to find him with a jar of something. He turns to get a spoon and spots me. My heart sinks at his reaction. I am shocked but not at what he is doing, at how scared he looks, at the tears the simple act of me seeing him like this produces. It hurts.

Please don't look at me...

I think for a second then walk over and open the drawer and take out a spoon and hold it out to him. "But I want to look at you."

[__orli__]

He hands me a spoon and I start to gasp great sobs and turn away from him. I'm not sure why I'm feel so devastated, so... overcome with pain. Dropping the jar in the sink I run to my room.

I'm so ashamed so - I hate myself! So sick, so gross! How could he want to look at me!? I feel sick. I try to calm down, the gasping isn't helping, but I can't stop.

I roll over and bury my face in my pillow hating how my stomach feels pressed into my back. My big fat belly! So ugly, so fat! I don't deserve to be here! I should never have come. That hovel back in L.A. is even too good!

[elijah__j__wood]

I pick up the jar and look at it, hating it for a second and wanting to smash it feeling hopeless. I can't let it win though. No one and nothing is taking my Orli away from me. I put the lid back on and put it away then go after him.

I find him in his room on his bed and an absolute wreck. I go and sit on the edge of the bed. It hurts my heart so bad to see him like this. "Please don't hide from me." I reach my hand across. "I love you Orli. Talk to me, or well if you don't want to just, let me sit with you." I stroke his hair back. "It hurts to see you so upset.."

[__orli__]

His words, his touch - his kindness hurts so much. I want it so much.

I turn my head and look at him, my voice wracked with sobs, "You - you don't think I'm disgusting? Look at me! I'm so - gross!"

He shakes his head and cups my face caressing my cheek. He doesn't - he really doesn't. He sees me. It's been so long... but he always saw me even when all the others didn't

[__orli__]

When I wake up I feel warm and - happy. I peek and smile when I see Lij. He stayed. I curl up around him even more, resting my leg between his. I still though when my knee feels his morning erection.

I wait for the wave of nausea to hit me but it does not. Hmm, interesting. I look up at him and he doesn't wake so I relax into his arms. Laying my hand on his chest I let my fingers softly stroke him. Soon my hand is slowly moving over his chest, shoulder and down his arm.

It not a sexual caressing, not for me at least. It is just nice to be held and not be fearful of being hurt; physically or mentally. Lij has some stubble on his chin and I rub my finger over it gently. I can remember when I first came over from London, I never thought he'd be able to grow a beard.

That thought gets me to giggling and I bury my face in his neck trying to stop, but they've got me pretty good now.

[elijah__j__wood]

I am quite nicely half woken from my sleep by vibrations against my neck and the warmth they stir in me. I keep my eyes closed not willing just yet to wake fully to the brightness of the day, just wanting to stay in this hazy yummy place. I turn and snuggle in towards the source of those lovely vibrations and become aware of a rather solid pressure against another heated and hard part of me.

I stretch my legs and curl my toes wriggling my hips slightly against him as my hand moves down his back and pulls him just that little bit closer. I let out a breath that's partly a contented sigh and definitely a soft moan. "Mmmmmm Orli..."

[__orli__]

The giggles stop instantly when he moans my name and snuggles closer. I lay there frozen and horrified. Not horrified that he is doing this but horrified because I like it.

Biting my lower lip I snuggle closer, my knee rubbing against his erection and my lips brushing his neck. My heart is beating so fast I'm afraid that alone will wake him.

Moving my hand up his arm and rest my fingertips on the other side of his neck and breath in his scent. "Mmmmm Lig."

[elijah__j__wood]

I moan lazily in response loving the teasingly gentle attention he gives my neck which contrasts so nicely with the slightly firmer pressure against my cock.

I move rolling into him and hook my leg over his trapping it between my thighs entangling the length of his legs with my own as I curl my feet around them. I wriggle my toes against his calves and chuckle softly as it reminds me of how much taller than me he is.

I can feel his warm breath now on my lips instead of my neck and I give a relaxed smile as I slip my hand up his back and thread my fingers into his hair. I nuzzle towards the heat of his mouth, half giving him a kiss, half just enjoying the feel of him. "Love you..." My fingers fiddle with his hair feeling the soft strands massage and tickle them and I let myself doze back off into happy snuggling with Orli land.

[__orli__]

Once again I look at him in surprise. I take in his words and look down at our hands, "I - um," I look at him again, "oh."

Making love. I bite my lower lip and feel my body shiver with the cold that has enveloped me. I suppose Hayden made love to me, but that seems so long ago - and now I wonder if I wasn't just an experiment for him.

But Lij... that would be - real. "That would have been nice."

I look away again and wish I could communicate better. I'm so guarded with everything I say, everything I do... I know I don't need to with Lij, but it's just - habit.

I shrug, "That would have been really nice."

Sighing with a laugh I shake my head, "I wish I could explain better."

[elijah__j__wood]

I chuckle and nudge into him with my shoulder. "I think I get it." I lay my head on his shoulder. "I know things aren't easy for you Orli and I want to help you but to do that you need to talk to me." I tilt my head and look up at him. "I know that's hard too. I was the same with Rhys, and everyone else, but Rhys was the one that mattered. I kept everything to myself. Takes a bit of time to get over doing that."

With that I sit up, slap him on the thigh and stand pulling on his hand. "Anyway now I want that breakfast you said you'd make." I turn and face him as I pull him up. "Pancakes! Oh and strawberries! Lots of them!" I grin at him. "And coffee!"

[__orli__]

"Oh, so no fuck first?"

The look on his face is priceless! I fall back laughing. He makes me feel like I did before I even met Bruce. When I could really just be me, and not be so guarded and scared.

[elijah__j__wood]

I act shocked and appalled but I'm grinning like a loon inside. "Orlando Bloom!" I slap my hand over my heart and the back of the other one over my forehead mocking feintness. "Be still my beating heart!" I turn on my heel and walk out of there with a slap of my ass and giggling like a maniac. "And my raging virginity!"

[__orli__]

I nod and smile, "Yeah sure fiiiine make fun of me when this is all your doing!"

His laugh is so infectious though I can't help but start laughing as well. Placing the pickles back in the fridge I pet it, "We will continue later darling."

I pick up the plate with Lij's breakfast on it and place it in front of him, "Here I made this, but I was so hard I'm not sure if I used salt or sugar so..."

It feels good to laugh. We are close enough we can laugh bout it! I lean against the counter and pour us some coffee, "Well how are we gonna top that?! We have the whole day ahead of us."

[elijah__j__wood]

I take some deep breaths and try not to look at him cause every time I do the giggles start back up. Finally I pick up my fork and look up at him. "We're not ever gonna top that I'm afraid. Pure gold right there."

I stick my fork in my egg and stuff some in my mouth then nearly choke as I start to giggle again. He used sugar. "Sweet just like you.." I get myself under control once more and look at my plate as I fill my fork again. "But actually quite good." I glance up at him and sigh happily. This is more like old times. "Fuck I've missed you Orli."

[__orli__]

Oh my God I used the sugar! I throw my head back and laugh.

"Missed you too Lij. Man remember the old days when we used to all go to Shox's place... what was it Guy used to call it? High Temple of... Fuck?"

Again I laugh out loud. "Man those were the days huh? I think one of the last times I was there was when they had that party and that weirdo neighbor hit a golf ball through the window and smacked me upside the head!"

I shake my head and take a sip of coffee, so many memories. "Still can't believe Shox got married. Wild... "

We sit in silence as Lij eats my sugar omelet and I eat the toast and we sip coffee. The silent is broken by giggles and memories of past parties that we remember.

"So whatever happened to um - Billy? Is that a sore subject? I'm sorry. He didn't really die though did he?"

[elijah__j__wood]

I drink my coffee and look up at him. "Billy a sore subject. You could say that." I put my cup down and look at it. "That turned out to be a whole shit storm of fuck ups on my part Orli. Billy was like the beginning of the fucking end for me."

I realise Orli probably doesn't know about most of what happened but he was there after the boat, and then what he said makes me think. The news reports at the time had Billy listed as dead, blown up with the boat and if Orli had been around for the warehouse he wouldn't ask what he did. I look back up at him and am curious. "What made you think he didn't die when his boat exploded?"

[w1ll14m]

I watch from the window knowing I am risking much, but I wanted to make sure he was ok. He is with 'lijah now, I know he will be just fine. I've watched them both over the years; enjoyed torturing that bastard Ben and making sure Rhys was sent on that Tsunami tour.

It was hard to watch 'lijah hurting and I knew only Rhys would make him happy - and I was right. Orli needed a guardian angel but the best I could do was a guardian demon.

With the new treaty and Gabriel's new found sense of family he has allowed me my freedom. Not allowed in his family, but allowed to live - I'll take that.

[elijah__j__wood]

What Orli says concerns me. It's been years since any of us had heard his where abouts. I doubt Orli would be mistaken in it being Billy but why would he be following him, if not to kill him. I get a shiver up my spine. Someone is here.

I don't look around instead I send out my mind searching. My eyes go wide. I don't even have to enter his mind to know who it is, Billy! Fuck!

I almost call for Dan but instead I grab Billy with my mind and yank him through the window. I am up out of my seat and turned facing his way, making sure I am in front of Orli, my wings outstretched to protect him. I think stake and instantly one of the many we have stashed around this place flies into my open hand.

I lift him and slam him against the wall and pin him there with my mind. "Don't think I won't use this." At the same time as I glare at him to make him see I mean business my heart clenches. "I'm not weak anymore. You won't get to me."

[w1ll14m]

I smile at him and raise my hands up beside my face letting him know I surrender and mean no harm. "Ah know ye naw wea' 'lijah. Ah mean naw harm. Joost checkin' on Orleh."

I look over to Orli and nod, "Orleh, good te see ye hav' recoovered."

A confrontation was not what I wanted, but I knew the risk. 'lijah is strong and I'm so proud of him even if I have no right to be.

[elijah__j__wood]

I bring my wings up blocking Orli from his view. I am feeling a little confused, with what Orli told me and how Billy is presenting himself now, he doesn't seem menacing but I'm still not taking any chances. He is not getting his claws into Orli either. "Don't talk to him!"

I hate having to be like this with him but I haven't forgotten what he is capable of, how easily he sucked me in. "You've got no right to talk to any of my friends. Orli is fine here with me. What are you really doing here?!"