Painful Adjustments part 9
a/n: Here’s the next chapter guys. As promised, the conversation between Lydia and Wilson and bit of realization at the end…oh and not as angsty as the last few chapters. I hope you enjoy it and thanks so much for reading!! I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THE BACK GROUND IS WHITE, I'VE TRIED TO FIX IT SEVERAL TIMES AND WANT TO THROW MY COMPUTER OUT THE WINDOW. SORRY IF IT'S DIFFICULT TO READ :(
Fic Paring: House/Wilson primarily. Some House/OFC and a bit of Wilson/OFC
Fic Warning: Slash
Word Count: 2600
Fic rating: Pg-13
Disclaimer: David Shore owns them not me!!
Sequel to: www.fanfiction.net/s/5240505/1/Tell_Me_You_Will_Understand
Previous parts found here: www.fanfiction.net/s/5431612/1/Painful_Adjustments
CHAPTER 9
Lydia would be lying to herself if she tried to say she wasn’t looking forward to her dinner date with House. After all, they had clicked somehow when House was a patient in Mayfield: two lonely souls looking for a place in the world and meaning in their life. She hadn’t realized she was lacking that until she met the ruggedly handsome loner that fateful day. As happy as she was with the new development with House, she couldn’t help the nagging feeling in the back of her mind regarding the sad looking doctor that kept crossing their path. Lydia knew there was something between the two men; something undeniably strong but yet something very broken.
Wilson heard the knock at his door but had little energy to rise and answer it like the polite man he usually was. Even though House had agreed to work on putting the friendship back together, he was still hurting terribly over the fact that he’d no longer be able to touch the man he’d grown to love more than any other romantic partner he’d had in his past.
“Come in, the doors open.” Without looking up from his task at hand, Wilson coldly addressed whomever it was that dare bother him while he was brooding. “What is it?”
Lydia was taken aback by the cool tone and spoke warily. “May we talk for a few minutes?”
Wilson started out of his thoughts and took a look at his visitor, surprised by her presence and her request. “Lydia, what are you doing here? There really isn’t anything I can tell you about House to prepare you to deal with him on a daily basis so if that’s what you’re looking for, I can’t help you. “
Lydia just ignored that, and pushed forward. “Do you mind if I sit down?” Wilson sighed out of pure frustration and feelings of betrayal but he was going to be polite if it killed him…he wasn’t House after all. “Yes, I’m sorry. Of course…please have a seat.”
Lydia rounded the visitor chair in front of Wilson’s desk, took a seat, and looked expectantly at the doctor.
“What can I do for you? What is it that you’d like to know about House?”
“Greg talked a great deal about you when I would visit him in Mayfield. He ‘s not a very…open and emotional man but when he spoke your name, I could see and hear how much you meant to him…”
Lydia paused to allow that thought to sink in; she could see the younger man emotionally deflate right in front of her. “But now, I see hurt and anger between the two of you…and yet the bond is still very much there. I guess I’m curious as to what happened to make you both so very sad.”
Wilson couldn’t believe the words that just passed his ears. What happened? She fucking wants to know what happened? God if she were a man, she’d be on her ass by now. Calm…it’s not her fault, she doesn’t know about House and me. “It’s complicated, we’ve always had a tumultuous… friendship and we’re just going through one of those tough times now. It’ll blow over eventually…it always does.”
Lydia listened intently to the handsome doctor but could tell that he was handing her a line of shit. Time to pull out the big guns. “Are you sleeping with him?”
“W-what? W-why would you think that?” Wilson felt the heat rise in his cheeks, which meant Lydia saw it. Damnit, is this why House likes her? Because she’s just as perceptive as he is? Or is it just that obvious? Fuck! Time to deflect.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about; House and I are just friends. Maybe I’m upset because here I thought my best friend was locked up for two months getting help for severe mental problems and not having sex in the corner with whomever was willing!” Wilson could see that his words were hitting hard, and some part of him felt guilty for saying those things to a pregnant woman but damnit, it needed to be done. With Lydia still stunned into silence, Wilson continued his rant.
“What the hell kind of person has sex with an institutionalized mental patient anyway and then gets pregnant on top of that? Do you have any idea what this may do to his recovery? Did you even think about that before you waltzed back into his life unannounced?” Wilson saw the single tear streak down Lydia’s face and that brought him back to the moment; persona snapping in place. He rose from his chair and went to Lydia to place a hand on her shoulder. "God, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things. I know House is a big boy and does what he wants, it wasn’t fair of me to place all the blame on you.”
Lydia took a deep breath and tried to shake off the cruel words that indeed held a great deal of truth. She knew at some point it would come up, but from what she knew of Wilson, she didn’t expect it from him. “You’re only speaking the truth, and you’re just trying to look out for Greg; I can respect that.”
Wilson sat down in the chair next to Lydia with his head in his hands. “I just care about him so much and I don’t want to see him where he was a year ago, I can’t go through that again…he can’t go through that again.” Lydia took in Wilson’s defeated pose and knew she wouldn’t get a straight answer from the man before her regarding the true nature of their relationship. Even though she still felt very raw from what Wilson had said, she pushed forward.
“Greg said he was seeing someone when I first came back to town, but that now they’re broken up. Do you know who that person was?” Wilson nodded his head with a smile that held no humor or happiness in it. “Yeah…very well. That person loved House a great deal but it’s quite obvious he didn’t feel the same….Look Lydia, I need to go do rounds. I’m sure you and House will work out just fine and I am really sorry about what I said to you.”
They both stood and Lydia gave one last good look at Wilson’s face and could see more anguish there than she could ever remember seeing gracing anyone else’s features before. “Thank you for your time James, I really appreciate it.”
Wilson flashed her with his best smile as he walked her to the door. “No problem and…good luck with House.”
“Can I ask you one more question?” Wilson looked puzzled but was polite this time. “Sure, what is it?”
“Do you want children?” Wilson was taken aback by the question, and wondered what Lydia’s motive was for asking such a personal question but decided to answer anyway. “I thought so but the opportunity never presented itself so I guess my answer is…I don’t know.”
Lydia nodded her head in understanding and left Wilson’s office without another word.
*****
House stood in front of the full length mirror trying to determine if he should wear a tie for his date with Lydia. “This was never a problem while I was with Wilson.” Wilson…there’s a thought he tried desperately not to have cross his mind. He thought back to earlier in the day in his office when said man came in to see him; all but begging to have some place in his life. Why does it have to be so damn hard? He needs to let go so he can move on with his life…it’s for the best.
House’s thoughts jumped to the sonogram that afternoon and the first images of his baby…of his baby. House had never realized until the moment that his child appeared on the screen how much he truly wanted to become a father. This would be his child to take care of, to teach the ways of the world; to protect him from all the evils that were waiting to descend. House felt an overwhelming sense of pride and responsibility at the thought of bringing this child into the world. Unfortunately, along with swell of those new emotions, another feeling accompanied that….an unbearable sense of loss and loneliness for what he chose to give up. He hoped his date with Lydia would alleviate some of the latter feeling.
After one last check in the mirror; he ditched the tie, sighed deeply and headed out the door toward uncertainty.
*****
“This is a lovely restaurant Greg.” House pulled the chair out for Lydia; for some reason he was very nervous about being on this date. It just felt off somehow. House remembered how easily they got along when he was in Mayfield so he forced himself to relax and decided to try and recapture whatever spark they once had.
“Thanks.” An uncomfortable silence fell across the table so Lydia decided it was time to see what she could find out from House regarding his friend Wilson.
“So, you told me once that Doctor Wilson was your one and only friend. Why is that?” House was a bit uncomfortable with the topic of conversation but tried to keep his emotions in check.
“I dunno, I guess he’s just attracted to the shine of my neediness where most other people find me to be an unbearable asshole.”
“You’re not that bad; I find you to be very kind….and very sexy too.” Lydia followed the last bit with a coy smile. House fidgeted a bit before replying. “Yeah, well you only know the new and improved me. Everybody else can’t forget the old me…except for Wilson.” Lydia was stunned by the amount of warmth spoken in those last three words. Would he ever sound that way about me?
“Greg. What happened between you and James?”
“I’m not sure I know what you mean.” Lydia knew she was treading a thin ice by pushing this subject, but if she even had any chance with House, she needed to know where she stood. “Every time I see the two of you together, I can see the strain on your relationship. Is it because of the baby?”
House straightened up and went on the defensive. “Of course not, Wilson’s probably just pissed off because he’ll have to share me now with a real kid. Sometimes I think he considers me to be just a big kid.”
Lydia smiled and reached her hand across the table to touch the back of House’s. “Well, you do kinda act like it sometimes.” House smiled back and flipped his hand over to squeeze Lydia’s.
Both Lydia and House relaxed a bit at that point but both seemed to have something else on their minds. Little did they know, it was the same something…or as the case was, the same someone. Wilson. The rest of the dinner went by without any problems. They talked about House’s recovery, Lydia’s breakup with her husband, and their impending parenthood.
Upon returning to Lydia’s place, House helped Lydia from the car and walked with his arm around her waist to the door.
“I had a really good time Greg. It felt good to put all of my problems aside for a couple of hours and enjoy the company of someone I care about.”
“Yeah, I guess I know what you mean.” Silence overtook them as they stood outside the door facing one another. House decided that if he was going to forget about Wilson and give this thing a chance with Lydia then he needed to move things forward. He leaned in and brushed his lips to hers. Lydia closed the distance between them and placed her hands on his shoulders while they exchanged a few lingering chaste kisses. Just as she thought the kisses would deepen, House hesitated just an inch from her mouth and opened his eyes. Lydia could see it then, she could see that his heart belonged to someone else and it wasn’t going to open up to her anytime soon. Lydia backed away from House’s next attempt.
“Greg, stop.” House was surprised by that.
“What…what’s wrong?” Lydia didn’t want to push the subject of his emotions at this point. She could see that he was hurting and would probably go on the defensive again. She smiled and placed a hand on House’s cheek. “Nothing’s wrong, I’m just very tired all of sudden…you know the whole pregnancy thing. I think I’m just going to turn in. I really did have a good time.”
House was puzzled as to why she abruptly ended their encounter but gave her the benefit of the doubt. After all, she is pregnant. “Ok, I’ll give you a call tomorrow then. Maybe we can set up another dinner sometime this week.”
“Sounds good. Oh and Greg…give James a call, I really think you two need to talk.” Lydia watched House’s mask snap into place. “Wilson and I are fine. Don’t worry about it.” Lydia nodded her head as she watched House climb into his car to leave. She gave one last wave before turning in for the night.
What is he trying to prove by staying away from James? Don’t they both realize how obvious it is to the people around them that they are completely in love with one another?
*****
House reflected on his evening with Lydia on the drive back to his apartment.
Well that wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. She’s a good person and she can even tolerate me. That’s a huge plus considering most people can’t. I can make this work with her. She’s going to have my kid and we can be a family. When the hell did I become a family man? Who am I kidding, this isn’t me. The spark that we had six months ago is gone. All I could think about was Wilson while I was kissing her; I mean she could be Wilson with her damn personality. All fluffy and endearing…how exactly does an ass like me attract that type of person anyway? Shit, shit, shit! What am I gonna do? I need to stop thinking about Wilson: his deep brown eyes, soft silky hair, the look on his beautiful face when he’s writhing underne…ARGH….STOP! Ok, time to go home and sleep. It’s moments like this that I wish I had the Vicodin so I could get stoned and forget.
TBC
a/n: Hope you enjoyed it and would love to know what you thought. Next part, I hope they can get a clue now that Lydia has one. Thanks for reading!!!