I'm only a little bit off the rocker...
Ok, so I was talking to Jared (one of my managers) and he shows me a new comic we just got in, Jesus the Vampire Slayer, in which Jesus hunts down vampires.
I turned around and said Jesus had to be a vampire too. Go off basic vampire logic, you die, and then you rise from the dead. Yeah, thats where you go "eh". But think of how a vampire creates another vampire, they FEED them their own blood to convert them. Jesus was the original vampire. I mean, most of the world is vampiric by now, just by the whole blood of Jesus thing. Actually, to be turned, you have to drink enough blood after having your's drained. If you just drink the blood, you become a thrall, forced to serve whoever's blood you drank. Jesus isn't dumb, he doesn't want to create tons of vampires. So he just has you drink a bit of blood and BAM you're a thrall. And the crucification is kinda sketchy too. They nailed his hands and feet, and poked him in the side. Come on, you have to go through the head or the heart to take a vampire out. They took him to his cave and let him rejuvenate and he's back in the game, just has to hide from now on and control things from the shadows.
Now if you go from Vampire: the Masquerade, there are 13 clans. Just like there were 13 disciples. Eh? Eh? Following me? So despite the various guesses as to the founders, I'm going to claim they were the 13 disciples. As for Cain, he might have been a vampire, or a scapegoat, but I figure Jesus must have pushed the whole bad mojo onto him in order to keep his power.
So tempted to start a Vampire game like this, start normally and just go batshit with the players into conspiracy.
I should not work a 18 hour shift...