well i got it done. brelyn and laura and amber were there for me. thank you guys. feels weird. i was dizzy for a bit. ben, the guy who did it, was really nice though. um, i dont feel sexier yet ( Read more... )

everythings okay i suppose. brelyn really wants to take me to get my lip pierced. i kinda do want it, but im a puss with that crap. and i am 18 but i dont know what mom and dad would do. plus i dont want brelyn to go and spend that much money on me though. she really has been a sweet heart to me as of late ( Read more... )

i hate this i cant take this. i feel like bitching at the wall. i need someone to talk to but no one can talk. again i am being reminded that i dont have a best friend. i saw an old really good friend for the first time in a long time but i felt no real connection at all with her even ( Read more... )

i miss erin. i miss those arms that used to hold me close and cuddle me. i miss her lips, her cheeks. i miss her body pressing against mine.

i want someone to hold me to sleep.

i miss her singing to me. i miss her words. i miss her eyes looking into mine as i layed in her lap while she sang to me. i dont miss her picking my zits though.

i feel a lot better about things now. i have my friends, i have hockey, and i still have erin as a good friend. it will be hard and weird for a while still, but i will have to condition myself out of always expecting a kiss and all that sappy emo kid stuff. but shes still there, still someone i can spill my words onto and someone i can go for a ( Read more... )

standing here at the terminal. my bag weighs too much. im being bi-polar about everything especially erin. but i dont think its really hit me yet. i went to bed last night around 130 and woke up around 430 this morning and couldnt go back to sleep. so ive bene up since. all i can do now is just play hockey or dream about it. iw ant to say ( Read more... )

so we're officially over with now. she wants us to be best friends. that will be hard. not being able to kiss or cuddle with her or anything. and i bet the jealousy thing is gonna stay around for awhile ( Read more... )

did i fuck things up? we're on a break now. i think the smart thing to do would be to just say hey see ya at my first game in 3 weeks, then we'll see what to do. but i really miss her already. and i had dreams about her last night, too. and they were nice ones at that ( Read more... )

he was such a great song writer. even if you are a sissy middle class city pansy like me, listening to his songs made you feel like you were a real cowboy, a scruffy but honest trucker, or a real man. he made me want to pick up a knife and get in a dirty street fight, then the next minute hug and love someone. he taught us things no other ( Read more... )

well theres this cool gay guy that worked at the cafe for a few days then was fired, but we still talk online. so i ask him if hes still at this other job that was gonna try to do but he said he started a business of his own doing modeling and talent agency stuff. and he thinks he can use me for modeling!!! he said he has his own photographer and ( Read more... )