(no subject)
So it's wierd how real dreams feel somtimes. I tell you all this was a dream, but just by telling the story, you would all know that it is by the end anyways. it took place in a more futuristic downtown los angeles like area. it might have taken place a bit in the future, but who knows, because they all seemed like buildings that fit, even though everything went a little faster, had a little more oomph to the advertising, billboards sang with color and motion, it seemed like giant leaps had been made. the streets were very clean without debris or trash, but i didn't see anyone cleaning them, i just appreciated that they were clean. however gang members still ran rampant. they all wore black scarf/bandanas that went all the way around the head and had room for hair on the top and had extra scarf hanging past the knot in the side or back, their preference of style.
anyways, it all started when i started this band, we formed on the side of the street, seemlessly coming together. Its funny how dreams help the flow of things sometimes, making things so incredibly easy. well, the band went smoothly, not much to write about there, the blunt of my problem with the dream had occured much later. after a little bit of toublesome escapades with cars and random people, we decided to go inside and party. we are all hanging out talking, i see some familiar faces, such as this tubby boy i had known in middle school all the way up through high school, he felt it was more than necessary from the first moment he saw me to tell me how great he had been doing. he told me all about how much money he was making off being a taco bell consultant, from the suggestion of one of my middle school teachers. i thought it was interesting that his life had led him there, because a few months ago i saw him snorting lines of coke of a table at a party. not in the dream, i actually saw him doing that in real life, but in the dream he was telling me about taco bell whatever.
anyways, the party goes on, i meet this attractive familiar looking female. I didn't get her name, i didn't know her, but she was so familiar looking. it doesn't seem to want to come back who she was. well, like any boys dreams may take them, she hinted that she was very interested in me. i told her i was leaving, she said something about not having to, and started to kiss me. well, i wasn't too comfortable kissing her, even though she was very attractive. it just seemed like my teeth hurt, or she was sucking at my face, or something. all i know is it wasn't a normal feeling, but dreams often have that effect. well, shortly after, she pushed me into a room, things got a little bit heavier. i said i was going to go. "WHAT?!?" some of the guys reading this may ask. trust me, i have had many other dreams, this one was just uncomfortable, and for some reason i could feel that like it was real. like i felt uncomfortable. maybe it is just that in downtown LA you can't ever really feel comfortable.
anyways, i started to leave, and she stopped me. not for another kiss, but to blackmail me. I was severly confused by this, extremely threatened, but also confused because i had no idea what she was blackmailing me for. I split and went walking downtown. I met up with my dad and my two little blonde haired brothers. my dad looked like his same mid fourties self, big brown beard on his chin with greying areas and his big chipper smile. my dad unless at work, seems to always be smiling, i love that about him. my little brothers were around ten and six, which is very abnormal, because in reality i have one brother named corbin who is 17 pretty soon, and has a full head of curly brown. these little brothers of mine in the dream seemed pretty normal, from what i can recall now, and maybe it was through realization that these brothers were past forms of me. they were little me's. mini me's if you will, but back when i was actually that age. so we are walking, these brothers, myself, and my dad, and the brothers seem to behave themselves pretty well. we stop at this store, we are walking around, my dad and brothers go one way, i go outside while they finish up.
anyways, i am outside and these two very rough looking gang members come up and talk to me. both looked mexican, but they were big mother fuckers. they were about 6'2" while i stood somewhere very short of that. they walked up swiftly, asked me what gang i was in, i told them i wasn't. they asked why i was wearing a black scarf. I realized i had one for the whole dream at that point. the entire time i was wearing this, and i had seen other people with it, but didn't know what it was. so i said, "no disrespect brother," and took it off. well a third guy came up, he was standing there. just hanging out. one of them grabs an aresol can, and was like "you want some?" I declined. he then stuck it into his nose and took a really big whif. i was a little frightened by it, really i was by the whole situation. one had a huge scar going across his face, and seemed to be the most abrasive of the bunch.
anyways, my father and brothers came out of the store, and told me we were going, so we started walking into this other store across the plaza we were inside of. i remember a courtyard looking area, a semi circle building in front of us with huge signs saying which direction to go in order to get to the next store. well two of the gang members stayed, but my dad knew one of the other ones, they talked for a bit about some surveying company, i don't really remember how it went, but i think it is very trivial that i do remember that instance at all. it is just getting close to the end of the dream, so most of this information is still fresh. well, he trailed off. we continued walking, my father and brothers and i, into this semi circled building through sliding glass doors. it seemed to be a studio of some sorts, like a news place, or maybe a basketball game place, or something. there were all these little kids in chewbacca costumes running around, jumping through the sliding glass doors. not through them, but over the cracks of them. something kids would really do, nothing unusual about it.
anyways, so we continue walking through the sliding doors and we reach somewhat of a food court type place. really, if you have ever been to universal city, that is the closest experience i have had to describing what this place was like. it was definately vibrant. we walked up close to a pair of escalators, because you never seem to run into one escalator. but it was working out to be a crazy enough dream, it wouldn't have suprised me. and as we walk, i noticed the small kid on the one going downstairs towards us. my brothers had been quite the whole time, until the ten year old spoke up and noticed the little boy too. the signifigance of the little boy was that the escalators were traveling at an intense speed. well, my six year old brother went running for the escalator going up. on his way up, he fell backwards, and my heart really began to pump. this very intense pair of moving stairs was rocketing him towards the top, and my ten year old brother ran up to make sure nothing happened, and my father yelled up for help. i think he yelled something about some lasers or something, hoping they would stop the speed at the top, they did, everything was fine. my other brother, i wish i would have given them names but in my dream i already knew their names or at least was content in not knowing, escorted him over to go down. i am standing there looking up. my face and head pointing in the direction of my younger brother taking the excalator down. my eyes slowly following him. What happened next was an interesting turn of events. i continued to watch as this young kid around my older of the two brothers was barrelling down the escalator behind him. he was running down it, and without a single motion or guilt he pushed my younger brother, which sent him flying. even though it was a dream, i don't think i will ever forget the demonic look on the childs face, or the fright in my little brother's eyes at those moment. i guess the gravity in my dream world isnt the same as in real life because my little brother flew past the moving stairs. he landed on the freshly cleaned cement face first. i was petrafied. i was mortified. it seemed excruciating to be living in that moment. in my dream, i grabbed the young boy who had just pushed my younger brother. i yelled at him for a brief second with great intensity and anger in my voice, when it occured to me i should turn around. in that instant, i saw my little brothers head spilling out a large amount of liquid. it wasn't blood, it seemed to be green, but his nose was bleeding, so it had a very red hue to it. he layed there cold. i watched my ten year old self holding on my six year old self with passion, as if his life force was spilling out, which it happened to be. he cried out he was barely breathing. my dad just stood and watched this. at that moment, i couldn't take it! i yelled out "I", then something, it seems to be blurry to me, but i woke up. i yelled so loud i woke myself up. it was a very intense and awkward moment. I can still see my "little brother" dying. i don't know if i will loose that image.
i don't really know what it all means, or if it even means anything at all. it really does seem like the longest dream i can remember. it wasn't until i saw my brother holding my other brother until i realized that they looked exactly the way i did when i was younger. it was like they were me, and i was dying. as if it was childhood dying or something. i really don't know the meaning. i now just have the all too real sequence to play back in my head. it really is weird how real dreams feel sometimes.