walking away
cherrybaby805: yeeees?
stelladiver33: okay, can you let lauren get on
stelladiver33: i need to give this story that i had fixed for her
cherrybaby805: why?
cherrybaby805: ok
cherrybaby805: one sec
stelladiver33: okay
cherrybaby805: will you promise to be nice liz?
cherrybaby805: and not mean liz?
stelladiver33: yes
stelladiver33: im just giving her a story
cherrybaby805: okay
stelladiver33: it doesnt say
stelladiver33: DIE DIE AAAAAAAAAAGH
cherrybaby805: ok here she is
cherrybaby805: helloooooo
stelladiver33: helloooo
stelladiver33: okay
cherrybaby805: k...
stelladiver33: oh, by the way
stelladiver33: dom has a mullet
stelladiver33: its very strange
cherrybaby805: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
cherrybaby805: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
stelladiver33: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
stelladiver33 wants to directly connect.
stelladiver33 is now directly connected.
stelladiver33: let me get the picture
cherrybaby805: kay
stelladiver33: picture
stelladiver33: picture
stelladiver33: IT SO SCARY
cherrybaby805: No, Dom! Why? What have you done?
stelladiver33: WHAT DID HE DO TO HIMSELF
stelladiver33: okay
cherrybaby805: hokay, so
stelladiver33: anyway, onto the reason you were forced to talk
stelladiver33: story
cherrybaby805: uhhuh
cherrybaby805: What story?
stelladiver33: just a sec
stelladiver33: you probablyt dont remember it
stelladiver33: its old, i was going to fix it, but i just now got around to it
cherrybaby805: i think i remember them all
stelladiver33: okay
stelladiver33: well anyway, just read it
cherrybaby805: k
stelladiver33: Elijah has knowing eyes. Some day's you think you could see to
the bottom of them, but when you look closer, there is never an end. You're
sitting on a beach, the dirty California sun sinking in front of you; Elijah
lying beside you. The stars can't shine through the haze in the sky, and the sun
is falling fast enough into oblivion. Behind you, cars are rushing past, and
there's a faint echo of a girl laughing being carried on the wind. All you can
think about is the way Elijah breathes, the way the water is hitting the shore,
the way you know it's going to be. The sun is farther gone then when you last
looked; it's ushering in the summer night.
The premiers are over, and the golden statues are all lined on a shelf. Elijah
is trying to tell you that he's leaving, moving to New York. You're only
listening half way, blocking out the sound of urgency in his voice. You want to
ask him why, but you already know the answer. He wants to leave the glaring
lights of spotlights, the harsh LA sun, and the fame. And you know that he wants
to leave you. He drives you back into the city, the silence weighing down your
heart. He wants to talk about the past now; how everything was better then. It's
the same now, you think.
Elijah's always hated airports. The way they smell of stale food, how they
sound of screaming babies and droning PA announcements. But he loves it today.
He wants to get to the gate faster than you can let him. You stall the car,
ignoring the yelling cop telling you to move. He slams the door, and that's all
you can see of him. All you can see is him walking away.
stelladiver33: It's funny now, how when you walk through the halls, you can hear
the echoes of his voice. He's laughing; asking you to stay longer. But you want
to tell the noise that you're always here. You're always waiting. The voice
never listens. Sometimes, Elijah calls, asking if he forgot anything. Sometimes
he asks how you are doing. And sometimes he doesn't say anything at all. You see
him in magazines, on billboards, on a silver screen. He's alien now, the knowing
eyes ending behind a pupil.
You're driving back to the beach. The sun is setting, making its slow descent.
You can hear everything, the laughter, the sound of the cars, the waves washing
in. When you walk to the ocean, the sand speaks to you, reminding yourself that
this where he left you. But it doesn't matter. It's been a year since that day;
and in his mind, you're long forgotten. You sit in that familiar, watching the
stars coming out. You close your mind off, listening to the dull thudding of
your heartbeat. And you close your eyes, hoping the sun will set faster this
time.
The sand is shifting beside you, moving with a human body. Its breathing in a
way that you remember; that you really haven't heard in a year. Elijah smiles,
sitting next to you, reaching for your hand. It's warm, like the way he looks at
you know. You want to say something, but there's nothing to be said. Everything
is all right. This is how its going to be. This is how its always been.
And he looks at you with those knowing eyes. And you can see that they never
end, like the ocean, like this beach, like this moment where both of you know
that he'll never leave again.
cherrybaby805: AH! She finally writes one with a not-entirely depressing ending!
cherrybaby805: Even though it's angsty as always
cherrybaby805: I do remember this one. and it is definitely better now
stelladiver33: lauren,. i just wrote this
stelladiver33: like 10 mintues ago
cherrybaby805: really? i thought it sounded like the one with the ...
cherrybaby805: no wait.
cherrybaby805: that was "ocean eyes" not "knowing eyes" gotcha.
stelladiver33: yep
cherrybaby805: the angst depression and overall crying-ness of them run together
after a dozen or so...
stelladiver33: well, i felt that i should write you one that is happy as a good
bye present
cherrybaby805: well i wouldn't call it happy...but there's a good ending, so I
guess it works out.
cherrybaby805: since i'm always harrassing you to write happy domlijah
stelladiver33: i know, i guess this was the time to finally write one
cherrybaby805: ah
stelladiver33: i think my keyboard is going to electrocute me if i cry
stelladiver33: so i might as well not
cherrybaby805: nah - they can survive a ridiculous number of sobfests - mine is
a perfect example. but...
cherrybaby805: don't cry. it's not worth it
cherrybaby805: seriously
stelladiver33: lauren, nothing we cry for is really worth it
cherrybaby805: god, now you sound like frickin' eric
stelladiver33: except for when we meant it. and when you know its never going to
be the same again
stelladiver33: when you know its all changing
stelladiver33: thats when you cry
cherrybaby805: yeah. i guess so.
stelladiver33: or in the end of the lord of the rings
cherrybaby805: yeah - then it's acceptable, too.
stelladiver33: but i guess now, i shouldn't cry anymore
stelladiver33: its for nothing anyway
cherrybaby805: no, it's a perfectly good reason to cry
stelladiver33: are you going to?
cherrybaby805: i'm about to cry too, so we'll make it a party.
stelladiver33: you know, it can stop change sometimes
stelladiver33: but maybe now, we should just let happen
cherrybaby805: i don't really want to...but i think this time we really have to.
cherrybaby805: because sometimes it just isn't enough, any of it.
cherrybaby805: am i making any sense?
stelladiver33: yes
cherrybaby805: probably not.
cherrybaby805: it's just...i think...
cherrybaby805: i don't even know.
stelladiver33: i wont ever be truly gone though
stelladiver33: and niether will you
cherrybaby805: you know, you can't judge by the ending in the movie. cause in
the book, sam goes across the sea too, eventually.
cherrybaby805: remember?
stelladiver33: oh god
stelladiver33: i ve got to stop
stelladiver33: the keyboard is sparking
cherrybaby805: well, be careful not to *touch* the sparks...they hurt a little.
cherrybaby805: speaking from experience, here
stelladiver33: everything hurts
stelladiver33: life hurts
stelladiver33: love hurts
stelladiver33: dreams hurt
cherrybaby805: i know
cherrybaby805: and when stuff changes, and its stuff you never ever wanted to
change...then it really hurts.
cherrybaby805: a lot.
stelladiver33: maybe that was a mistake, becoming friends
stelladiver33: because look where it has brought us
cherrybaby805: no...that's never a mistake.
cherrybaby805: if it matters at all, no matter how much it hurts right now, i
think it was worth it to have...i don't know what i'm talking about.
stelladiver33: please come tomorrow night
stelladiver33: i have to say good bye properly
cherrybaby805: I *can't* even if I wanted to.
stelladiver33: fine, we'll spend the night at amy's
cherrybaby805: i could try and tell mom and dad it'll just be me and chev and
amy...
cherrybaby805: i suck at lying, but...
stelladiver33: its fine lauren
stelladiver33: it doesnt even matter in the end
cherrybaby805: .
cherrybaby805: IT DOES
cherrybaby805: CHEV HERE
cherrybaby805: IT DIES FUCKING MASTTER
cherrybaby805: DAMMIT
stelladiver33: ill be gone in a month, and you wont need to see me again
cherrybaby805: DAMN YOU
cherrybaby805: DAMN YOU BOTH
cherrybaby805: MAKE HER COME
cherrybaby805: MAKER HER
stelladiver33: fine lauren, if you want to come
cherrybaby805: lauren again - and yeah, i'll try.
stelladiver33: thank you
stelladiver33: i cant say farewell on a computer
stelladiver33: its to just too idiotic for me
cherrybaby805: it's not farewell
cherrybaby805: jsut farewell for now
cherrybaby805: *just
stelladiver33: lauren, i dont relive the past
cherrybaby805: neither do i
cherrybaby805: i look to the future
cherrybaby805: why the hell do you think i watch star trek
stelladiver33: yeah, that could be a reason
stelladiver33: you have eric, leah, and everyone
cherrybaby805: they're not you guys
stelladiver33: i'll just be a memory
stelladiver33: its going to be fine
cherrybaby805: i am so sorry if i let them take precedence to you
cherrybaby805: NO
cherrybaby805: never, liz
stelladiver33: this is the future
cherrybaby805: listen to me
cherrybaby805: I WAS WRONG
cherrybaby805: no matter what we decide or what we say, i was wrong
cherrybaby805: i was wrong to let them overshadow you
cherrybaby805: i was wrong
stelladiver33: they never overshadowed you
stelladiver33: *me
stelladiver33: i just fell back in line
cherrybaby805: i never should have let you feel that way
cherrybaby805: you are always first
cherrybaby805: you, chev, and amy
cherrybaby805: you are always first, liz
cherrybaby805: always
cherrybaby805: no one else could ever replace you
stelladiver33: thats why i'll never be gone
cherrybaby805: yes
stelladiver33: but it might be time to leave
cherrybaby805: i suppose, if it's really beyond repair...
stelladiver33: or maybe i should stay for a while
cherrybaby805: it just feels like...
cherrybaby805: like something that used to be there isn't, but there's still so
much...
cherrybaby805: i haven't changed my mind.
cherrybaby805: i don't want to make you think that when i haven't
cherrybaby805: but...
cherrybaby805: i'll try to come tomorrow night,
cherrybaby805: and that's about all i can promise
stelladiver33: lauren, its fine. you dont have to come. ive gone through enough
already. and the past is behind you and i now. i'll write sometimes and maybe
call you.
cherrybaby805: no...now i want to
cherrybaby805: you deserve *something* in person.
cherrybaby805: even if it's just me
stelladiver33: diesnt your mother and father hate me though
stelladiver33: when ive done everything i could to apoligise
cherrybaby805: i can lie. i'm a debater, after all.
stelladiver33: your mother is a wonderful lier
stelladiver33: you must take after her afterall
cherrybaby805: she's not, though, not really. her mouth sort of twitches
whenever she's lying
cherrybaby805: i think the lying...well, that's the *other* side of the
genetics.
cherrybaby805: i'll give it a try.
stelladiver33: well, maybe i think it very well done when i cant see her
stelladiver33: but i guess some relationships have just got to end, right?
cherrybaby805: i think so
stelladiver33: lauren, its going to be for the better
stelladiver33: nothing wont ever really change
stelladiver33: except the times and the things we to change
cherrybaby805: yeah
cherrybaby805: if its for the better, why the fuck does it hurt so much?
stelladiver33: i dont know, maybe thats the part of it thats for the worst
stelladiver33: you've got to leave one day after another
cherrybaby805: yes. that
cherrybaby805: uh ignore that.
cherrybaby805: i mean...
cherrybaby805: i came up with this whole idea. why are you being so *good* about
it? I kinda wanted you to verbally beat the crap out of me
cherrybaby805: not that i want you to now, or anything
stelladiver33: because i want it
cherrybaby805: so don't
cherrybaby805: do you really?
stelladiver33: ive thought about it for the past six months
stelladiver33: at first i was pissed as hell
stelladiver33: then i accepted it for what it was
stelladiver33: that is was something that was so trivial but yet so important
cherrybaby805: what is it?
cherrybaby805: because if you know, then you're way ahead of me
stelladiver33: friendship lauren
cherrybaby805: not that you moron.
cherrybaby805: whatever the hell's been going on with you and me
cherrybaby805: whatever it was that made us go from insseperable and pretty much
happy to now
stelladiver33: i think it was high school
stelladiver33: and debate
stelladiver33: and life
stelladiver33: your parents
stelladiver33: you
stelladiver33: myself
cherrybaby805: just...everything, huh?
cherrybaby805: the conditions aren't favorable for good weather anymore?
stelladiver33: no , it seemed that there was rain on the horizon all this time
cherrybaby805: i guess my weather sense sucks, because i didn't see it coming
until you called me that night.
stelladiver33: whuch time
stelladiver33: *which
cherrybaby805: the whole "chev as glue" metaphor time.
cherrybaby805: and then the next day - you didn't even fucking apologize, and
then...i don't know. we just ignored it. and stuff kept happening
cherrybaby805: and...
cherrybaby805: that was when i first thought about it.
cherrybaby805: i was just so tired of everything hurting like it did.
cherrybaby805: but it just seems to get worse.
cherrybaby805: no matter what i do, no matter what i think i accomplish, it
always gets worse.
cherrybaby805: you and me and mom and dad and yes, even eric and leah, dammit. i
just...
cherrybaby805: i want it to stop.
stelladiver33: its not going to get better anytime soon
stelladiver33: you dont think i never wanted to stop
cherrybaby805: HALF OF THE POPULATION IS DIVORCED
cherrybaby805: that was chev, for the record
stelladiver33: uh
stelladiver33: this is america
stelladiver33: of course it is
cherrybaby805: chev here
cherrybaby805: look, we have to finish this tomorrow
cherrybaby805: lauren and i (and you) all need to cry
cherrybaby805: a lot
stelladiver33: ive finished all of my crying
cherrybaby805: (lauren's note) but not on the keyboard
cherrybaby805: well, we haven't
stelladiver33: i cant force amy in this
stelladiver33: so, plans stay the same
stelladiver33: wait
stelladiver33: let me call her
cherrybaby805: ok
stelladiver33: what do you want me to tell amy
stelladiver33 direct connection is closed.
cherrybaby805: tell her we need another "last summer" episode
cherrybaby805: but with everyone this time
cherrybaby805: and for a different reason
cherrybaby805: you and lauren are getting a divotce
cherrybaby805: *divorce
cherrybaby805: so to speak
cherrybaby805: dont freak out
stelladiver33: YES
stelladiver33: DIVORCE COURT
cherrybaby805: wanna call judge judy?
cherrybaby805: SHE'LL KICK YUR MUTHER FUCKIN AY-ASSSS
cherrybaby805: OR MAI MUTHER-FUCKIN AY-ASSSS
cherrybaby805: ONE UV USS WEE-ULL GAY-ET A MUTHER-FUCKIN AY-ASSS WHUPPIN
cherrybaby805: for the record, this was again chev
stelladiver33: that didnt really sound like you lauren
cherrybaby805: just checking
stelladiver33: amys
stelladiver33: tomorrow
stelladiver33: 4 o clock
stelladiver33: or later
cherrybaby805: yeah, chev can make that or a little after, and lauren will *try*
stelladiver33: i want it short and seet
stelladiver33: we cant drag this out any longe
stelladiver33: r
stelladiver33: thats i all i ask
cherrybaby805: will comply
cherrybaby805: as short and sweet as i can make it
stelladiver33: okay
stelladiver33: one other thing
stelladiver33: can you send me that whole conversation
stelladiver33: in a email?
cherrybaby805: this one?
stelladiver33: yes
stelladiver33: please
cherrybaby805: ok