sometimes, the past will never leave.
Ta da! It's the first and last post I'll ever make, where I whine about my life. Enjoy it while it lasts.
I want to erase my past. I want it all to leave. Everything. Every memory, every thought, every thing i saw in these past six years here. It needs to go. I know this sounds emo and teen angsty. But its true. I've fucked up six years of my entire life. Six years, I've wasted, trying to trust myself with other people I thought I would know for the rest of my life. And now, those people are gone. Five mintues ago, I just said my last words to that person. And now, my past is gone. This is why I don't commit. This is why I am a wounded person. This is why my parents and my friends are always sad for me, but they'll never say anything. Of course not, why rub it in deeper. I've never been truly happy in six years. This is horrible. I've got to get out. And I am leaving. And I'm not coming back. I've fucked up too much to repeat the same mistakes. I am never telling someone I don't know that I love them. I am never committing myself to another person who will be gone in three years. I've wasted too much. I am never tryign to be nice to people I hate. I am going to be a bitch to people I don't like. I am going to be shy, I'm not going to be Miss Talk Talk Talk. If people wanna know me, they have to make the effort. This is what I want. I am not going to be someone I am not. I'm just human. You've got to give me a break sometime. I am erasing my past. I am not going to bring it back. I'm leaving for good.
And, no. I am not suicidal. I'm just pissed.
/end ranting and raving.
I want to erase my past. I want it all to leave. Everything. Every memory, every thought, every thing i saw in these past six years here. It needs to go. I know this sounds emo and teen angsty. But its true. I've fucked up six years of my entire life. Six years, I've wasted, trying to trust myself with other people I thought I would know for the rest of my life. And now, those people are gone. Five mintues ago, I just said my last words to that person. And now, my past is gone. This is why I don't commit. This is why I am a wounded person. This is why my parents and my friends are always sad for me, but they'll never say anything. Of course not, why rub it in deeper. I've never been truly happy in six years. This is horrible. I've got to get out. And I am leaving. And I'm not coming back. I've fucked up too much to repeat the same mistakes. I am never telling someone I don't know that I love them. I am never committing myself to another person who will be gone in three years. I've wasted too much. I am never tryign to be nice to people I hate. I am going to be a bitch to people I don't like. I am going to be shy, I'm not going to be Miss Talk Talk Talk. If people wanna know me, they have to make the effort. This is what I want. I am not going to be someone I am not. I'm just human. You've got to give me a break sometime. I am erasing my past. I am not going to bring it back. I'm leaving for good.
And, no. I am not suicidal. I'm just pissed.
/end ranting and raving.