Rules of Engagement: Violence and Hyperreality in the Buffyverse

[lostboy_lj]

rebcake recently posted a poll regarding the onset of Buffy and Spike's sexual relationship in the BtVS episode "Smashed."  I answered "neither" and began to post a comment to explain, but it started to get long-ish, so I thought I'd just do a long-ish blog post instead.  What I wrote turned out to be somewhat off-topic in terms of her poll, and more

Comments

[dampersnspoons]

*OBNOXIOUS APPLAUSE*

BRA-FUCKING-VO.

[menomegirl]

I second that!!!

edited because I was too excited by this post to be able to spell correctly. ;)

[lostboy_lj]

Thank you.

[lostboy_lj]

Thanks, homegirl.

[bloodypoetry]

You have won the internets. Yes to everything you said, and I wish more people would get it.

[lostboy_lj]

I wunned them??? FINALLY!

[diebirchen]

What you said!

[lostboy_lj]

Cheers!

[timeofchange]

Word to all this, but especially to this:

In reality, most victims of abuse aren't even close to a physical match for their abusers. Many of them will suffer multiple hospitalizations on the way to an early grave. Worse, they often suffer in plain sight because their abusers are people that everyone "knows" and "likes", making it that much harder to break the cycle. The reason Buffy doesn't tell her friends about Spike isn't because she's ashamed of being a victim, or thinks that no one will believe her, or is scared of losing her financial security or social safety net, or is terrified of what he might do to her if she leaves him, or any of the other REAL reasons that REAL abuse victims stay in REAL life-threatening situations, where the ability to fight back -- either physically or legally -- is often sadly limited.

Also, yes.

Edited to say, hope it's okay that I recced this on my LJ. It's simply brilliant.

[lostboy_lj]

Thanks, Time.

And of course it's okay! I'm flattered.

[spookykat]

I fucking love Smashed. I get that it can be interpreted as Domestic Violence, but Buffy at this point has long established that she relishes the violence...she has ever since season 2. Violence is her way of dealing with things. She wants to feel, so she wants pain because she can't have the good at this point.

It's such a gorgeous episode because it turns the rules of the buffyverse on its head yet makes perfect sense in terms of their characters.

I get why this episode might be triggery to those who have experienced domestic violence. It's a powerful episode, but in this case, I think it's projecting on the part of the fans more than anything else.

Plus, as Buffy proved with Reilly, she tried having a normal relationship, but even in trying, she found the least normal normal guy on the planet.

And this is why I love this show. These characters cannot be happy. They don't even want to be happy. But Buffy, even with her superpower, is the most human of us all...

/ramble.

[lostboy_lj]

These characters cannot be happy. They don't even want to be happy.

Awww. I think they want to be happy! They just aren't terribly good at it. ;)