^_^
HEH HI GUYS!
The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
>(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
>Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. >You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. >We need it up, you need it down. >You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon >or the changing of the tides. >Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. >And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail
1. Ask for what you want. >Let us be clear on this one: >Subtle hints do not work! >Strong hints do not work! >Obvious hints do not work! >Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. >That's what we do. >Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. >See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. >In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, >don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. >Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways >and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, >we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something >or tell us how you want it done. >Not both. >If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. >Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. >We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. >We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," >we will act like nothing's wrong. >We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, >expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear >is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are >prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, >or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - >to give them a laugh. > >Pass this to as many women as you can - >to give them a bigger laugh!!
Don't know how many of you fuckers have read it, but it's funny. ^_^
The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
>(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
>Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. >You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. >We need it up, you need it down. >You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon >or the changing of the tides. >Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. >And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail
1. Ask for what you want. >Let us be clear on this one: >Subtle hints do not work! >Strong hints do not work! >Obvious hints do not work! >Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. >That's what we do. >Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. >See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. >In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, >don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. >Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways >and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, >we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something >or tell us how you want it done. >Not both. >If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. >Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. >We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. >We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," >we will act like nothing's wrong. >We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, >expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear >is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are >prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, >or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - >to give them a laugh. > >Pass this to as many women as you can - >to give them a bigger laugh!!
Don't know how many of you fuckers have read it, but it's funny. ^_^