December - Unfold
No matter how long I've lived or will live, there are certain people who only know certain aspects about who I am. Some have known me better than others and some haven't really known me at all. Darla knew certain things about me that others couldn't dream of understanding. Buffy was the same way. Then Doyle and Cordy, Wes, Fred, Lorne, and Gunn. They all had parts in my life that others couldn't really touch.
When I first laid eyes on Connor, I knew he would have all of me. There would be no possible way I'd be able to hide any of who I was from him no matter how much I might want to in certain aspects. I know I'd want to hide the dark side of myself from him, but it's when I do that he sees it the most. He's my son and that fact alone is enough to show that he knows me in ways no one else ever would. Since the first time I shifted my features to get him to stop crying, it proves he doesn't care which part of me he sees. None of that matters to him.
Being here in Quor'toth simplifies things sometimes. We're left to survive and depend on each other. He on me and me on him. There's no way I can hide certain parts of myself from him. He asks questions about things the way they used to be. Questions about life back in LA and even more about the life I led while I was with Darla. He understands I'm not that demon anymore, even if he might be close to the surface, and he doesn't ask so that he has reasons to hate who I am. He asks because he's curious. Because he wants to know and hear stories.
And with Connor, there's nothing I wouldn't tell him if he asked. Others I might close myself off with, but with Connor I wouldn't. He's just a boy, but he knows me better than most might after decades.
When I first laid eyes on Connor, I knew he would have all of me. There would be no possible way I'd be able to hide any of who I was from him no matter how much I might want to in certain aspects. I know I'd want to hide the dark side of myself from him, but it's when I do that he sees it the most. He's my son and that fact alone is enough to show that he knows me in ways no one else ever would. Since the first time I shifted my features to get him to stop crying, it proves he doesn't care which part of me he sees. None of that matters to him.
Being here in Quor'toth simplifies things sometimes. We're left to survive and depend on each other. He on me and me on him. There's no way I can hide certain parts of myself from him. He asks questions about things the way they used to be. Questions about life back in LA and even more about the life I led while I was with Darla. He understands I'm not that demon anymore, even if he might be close to the surface, and he doesn't ask so that he has reasons to hate who I am. He asks because he's curious. Because he wants to know and hear stories.
And with Connor, there's nothing I wouldn't tell him if he asked. Others I might close myself off with, but with Connor I wouldn't. He's just a boy, but he knows me better than most might after decades.