I can't win.

[lostcities]

I don't know how much more I can take of being wrong. All the time. Everything I do. No matter how sincere I am, no matter that I never mean to start anything... I'm wrong. If I don't capitulate immediately, I'm too stubborn and selfish. I'm tired of screaming matches, I'm tired of threats, I'm tired of it all. Yet I'll just keep going.

Comments

[adominello]

Is it me, or does it seem that he always likes to start trouble when you've had a good time somewhere else? Could it be that he's trying to convince himself that you cannot possibly be happy without him? And what would be the easiest way (in his tiny little mind) to do this? By attacking you and everything you do and targeting those times specifically when you've had a wonderful time without him around.

I know this is easier said than done-- believe me-- but the best thing to do is not fight. Let him do his little dick-dance without feedback from you. Let him threaten, belittle, whatever, and let it pass right through you. I believe you will find that his anger will run out of steam a lot faster if you don't feed it.

I had the same problem with a certain ex of mine, and this worked pretty well. At any rate, it's worth a try.

[whizgidget]

I think beldon's onto something there - maybe he can't stand that you can be happier without him that you are with him. The other side of the coin is that maybe he thinks it's fun to bait you and wind you up.

Just don't fight. Don't react. Eventually he will realize (it may take a lot of time) that he can't bait you and he'll give up.

[isabeau_lark]

Personally, especially while he's away, I'm all for hanging up the phone. If he raises his voice, hang up the phone. If he gets demeaning, hang up the phone. I'm sure that will make for short conversations, but eventually he'll get the point. The next time he calls, you set the ground rules and tell him that unless he is planning to speak to you like an intelligent human being, listen to what you say without immediately lashing out and treat you with the respect you deserve at the basic human level, never mind as the mother of his child who's put up with him for the past n-years, that you are not going to continue the conversation.

You may not have to agree about things, but that doesn't mean you have to put up with him treating you like crap...and remember there's always M's offer

...and I agree that Beldon may be onto something about him not wanting to see you happy. So, we'll just have to do everything we can to make sure you are!

HUGS!!!

[bottilove]

You are such a whiner. You probably are stubborn and selfish, get over yourself already.

[isabeau_lark]

...and you're a coward who hides behind an assumed name, who can only post attacks and criticisms. Why don't you show some balls and say who you are, since obviously you created this account purely to harass lostcities?

My guess is you're either her ex or one of his friends. Either way, this behavior shows that you are an abusive personality, who gets his rocks off by doing their best to inflict emotional pain on someone else. It's always so nice to see an "adult" who is such an emotional infant that they only way they can feel good about themselves is to bully someone around like some kindergarten kid on the playground. Quite frankly, I think you're just a pathetic excuse for a human being with a nasty little sadistic streak...and I intend to report your abuse to LJ.

You are right

[bottilove]

Isabeau, you are correct. I do know LC and her ex. What she doesn't tell you is anything about her and her past. All of her medications and cheating ways on her ex. She has this blog and everyone only sees one side of the entire story. There are three sides and I have one of them. She is the one inflicting emotional pain, she is the manipulating one. Has she ever discussed her "pack rat" problem and the fact that she can't let go of any material thing? I have never seen any information like that. Has she talked about her cheating ways and the fact that she was caught? Never seen that either. So my comments, while not supporting her specifically, may just cause her to stop telling lies to those people who probably have never met her in person. And it looks like it worked.

Re: You are right

[lostcities]

Nope, I'm not gone.

What YOU don't know is the whole story. And until you do, you have no right to make judgments or assumptions. And you CERTAINLY don't have the right to hide behind an assumed name, making attacks and not committing yourself to what you are saying.

By the way.... ALL of my friends know EXACTLY what happened. Every detail. Even the ones online. So, don't try to make them think less of me... it won't happen.

[whizgidget]

Lostcities... are you still out there?