this has never happened to me before...

[lostdancinsoul]

I just had an epiphany, so I thought I should update...

I have finally figured out why I can't get close to anyone (my friends at least)

Reason why I cant get too close with...

Cristina- a.It reminds me of the strong faith and devotion that I will never have, or once had and lost.
b. reminds me of the relationship with my sister I had, but lost.
c.

Comments

[eightystars]

i love you.
and i know that you may not think i like you all of the times, but all of the things that you use as reasons why you can't get close to people are so far from the reasons people want to get close to you.
i know for a fact that i have wanted to be close friends with you for a very long time. i've tried extremely hard to make you like me, and if i would've known that i remind you of that, i never would've tried so hard. because i like thinking that there are families that are perfect too. i wouldn't want to remind you of how there aren't. but i don't want to stop trying to be friends with you, because i know how wonderful a person you are, and how it's just positively amazing to know someone like you. you may not think you're an amazing person, but in my eyes, you are one of the strongest people i have ever met and i wouldn't give up knowing you for all of the riches in the world.

that's probably not what you wanted to hear, but i had to say it.
and every bit of it is true.

[iwantyoutostay]

because i know how wonderful a person you are, and how it's just positively amazing to know someone like you. you may not think you're an amazing person, but in my eyes, you are one of the strongest people i have ever met and i wouldn't give up knowing you for all of the riches in the world.

so very true...

maryann, you're wonderful

[iwantyoutostay]

maryann, thank you so much for posting that. And don't worry about it all, your true friends will understand it and not get upset with you because of how you are feeling (you can't really help it). You know that I'm here for you and if you know of some way for someone to help you, just let me know. I'm really glad you posted that to let us all know. Hey, we'll work on it all! I love you.

[eightystars]

p.s. i admire you so much more because i know exactly how much courage it takes to tell your friends the honest truth.

[mellod56]

I admire you too Maryann.... a lot... I admire you for being honest and let me tell you not everyone is honest with me.... I don't understand why... Knowing you has changed me a lot... You have always been that push of encouragement for me when I have ever felt down... I look up to you because you're always so positive and decisive, when I think things through too much. Homie... I love you for who you are despite all the things you may think I look down at you for... I don't...I can't because I make mistakes too... and I wouldn't change knowing you for the world because I know that GOd has crossed our paths for a reason. Maryann I think you're an amazing person and I know whatever you put your mind to you can accomplish. I love you Maryann.. also... you're a pimp... the pimp I'll never be.

[halfmustache]

Maryann. I'm sorry if I push you too hard, but I want you to find as much peace as you can, for all the peace, smiles, fun, comfort, and inspiration you give to everyone around you. We love you only more because despite how we make you feel, you're a great friend to suffer your grief for us.

The only advice I can give is that if you want to be close to someone, you have to continue to be brave, to put aside whatever fear is holding you back and let your emotion go triumphant.

I'm sorry I haven't met you under different circumstances and that you have to feel this way about me. And it's no one's fault except everyones, for every action and conversation that happened and that didn't.

I love you to death, Maryann, and I don't want this friendship to drive into ruin, either. My last 6 months have been a dead stand still, and you really helped me grow out of the slump.