Wow, another year has ended in pain. Big surprise, should have known it was coming. A new year, a new scar cut even deeper than any before, this is my life I guess, my destiny. Well, I don't think I can hurt anymore, Im broken. Whatever comes next, I won't feel it. Bring it on.

Happy birthday angel. I miss you so much, especially today, but I am glad you are happy. You deserve whatever it takes to make your smiles more than skin deep. I dreamed last night of taking you out for japanese food and getting a bottle of wine to celebrate and woke up crying, but I am so much less important than you. I want your happiness, ( Read more... )

// YOUR ROOM, WAKING UP ( Read more... )

My little sister Madeleine, she just can't seem to stop talking about Lauren. It is really sad, she adores her, practically idolizes her. If she isn't asking about Lauren...or "you know who" as she has taken to calling her, she's talking about shaggy or kenji. I try to talk her about it and act like it doesn't make me sad, it sucks. She ( Read more... )

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When you look at the stars, do you see beauty or do you see science? I have always been more interested in the theories, the ideaologies, the philosophies of life than the facts of life. I suppose that makes me a dreamer in a world overrun by realists, but that is who I want to be. More, that is who I always will be, and no one can take that ( Read more... )

I have been doing some soul searching as to why no matter how hurtful or spiteful she may be towards me, i can do nothing but care, nothing but worry, nothing but love her. why do i forgive her when she isn't even sorry? it is almost like i cherish the salt she rubs in the wounds she inflicted, and the best i can come up with is this. When I ( Read more... )

Trembling ( Read more... )

Lauren- Good luck. You have been so hurtful and I am so worried about you, not because you don't want me in your life but because you seem so unsure of your own. You can badmouth me all you want, I can't hurt anymore. I will never stop caring about you, no matter what ( Read more... )

look at me, still caring, still worrying, no matter how much i know it will hurt me, but there is something incredible in her, something that she has lost track of. out of respect, i will not post any piece of the conversation we just had, though i really want to. i am so worried about her, not as someone longing after the love of his life who ( Read more... )