I am a failure. All I ever wanted was to make her happy, and it is obviously the only thing that truly makes her happy is being away from me, not just in dating, but in seeing or talking to me at all. And I really did try so hard to do whatever she wanted me to, I don't hold anything against her, but I feel like the lowest form of life on the ( Read more... )

thats my life, one big empty void, everything i thought i had has disentegrated and left me with nothing to do but sit here in roxbury and think about it way too much for my own good. i don't care, its not like i matter, as long as she is happy, that is all i care about. i dont care that my mom thinks im a drug addict because i was so quick to ( Read more... )

i hate christmas music, it makes me feel worthless. i feel like i am 2 people right now, and neither is the person i want to be. one of them cares about everyone, but is miserable and feels too much pain to know what to do with it, and has no desire to do anything but get lost in memories and depression. the other doesn't give a shit about ( Read more... )

I think I am going to end up going to jail, over bullshit tickets causing my other charges to be brought back, and you know, it might just be the only place I belong, I would ask for solitary confinement, and who I am won't get in anyone's way. Who the hell am I kidding, if I go to jail, I'll be dead in a week with my heart...If it comes right ( Read more... )

This is where I say I've had enough ( Read more... )

you have hurt me worse than anyone has hurt me in my entire life. i don't know why, i bent over backwards for you through every situation, even in being left, one day we are talking and things are fine, the next day i am blocked from your buddy list, blocked from commenting in your journal, and more without any reason. i just want you to know ( Read more... )

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I have spent nearly 20 years living completely from my heart. I lived for the people I cared about, and I lived to find love. When I finally found it, what I was looking for all along, it was beautiful. It opened my mind to a new way of thinking. However, I, at least for the time being, choked that love out by getting too caught up in it and ( Read more... )

I have figured a lot out, the biggest part of which is how damaging it is to let love get in the way of life. I don't have to give up on my love and my dreams for us, but I do need to start living for MYSELF. If anything would change, I know it would not be anytime soon, my words carried me as far as they could. I found the errors in my ways and ( Read more... )

Wow, funny how one realization leads to another. I didn't mean to be, but as well as being kind and loving, I was also very selfish. I had an excuse for every situation that would put us apart, and I believed they were reasons. They worked as temporary fixes for problems, but the overall message that was given was that I could not be away from ( Read more... )