Showing Off The New Cottage
(OOC: As the game draws to a close, I did not want to lose some of the beautiful things that had been written up to this point, so enjoy this last post of many wonderful interactions between Mira and Elijah.)
Mira: *sitting close to you in the tiny carriage, bundled up against a cold wind despite the cloudless blue sky, warmed by the excitement of showing your our new home, speaking in spurts since we left your flat* And just wait until you see the view from window in the room Dominic and I will be using for our bedroom. It is so beautiful, and will be even more so when the Spring brings more flowers into bloom.
Elijah: *smiling a little, trying hard not to ruin your excitement - it will be nice to see your new place... at least, that's what I keep telling myself; rubbing my hands together briskly*
Mira: *speaking to the driver* It is just around the corner here on the right. The little stone cottage. *smiling at you with barely-contained excitement* I'm quite certain any furniture you want to bring will fit nicely into your room. If you need to leave pieces with Hannah, don't worry. We will have plenty to share before long.
Elijah: *nodding, and forcing my smile wider, squinting as your house comes into view* That certainly looks cozy and wonderful, Mira... A place you can finally be happy with, yes?
Mira: *giving your forearm a squeeze* Yes! I admit I had my doubts at first, there being so many things to do to prepare the house as a decent living space, woodwork and painting and having modern plumbing added, but the more it comes together, the more I can envision how wonderful it will be! *nearly jumping over you to exit the carriage when we come to a stop, patiently allowing you to help me out once you have exited, tipping the driver and asking him to stay for a few minutes and wait for us, then grasping your hand and pulling you across the yard* The stone work is very old, but most of the interior walls and floors were added only twenty years ago. *fishing a key out of my purse as we approach the door*
Elijah: *squeezing your hand tightly, swallowing hard as I try to maintain my smile* It's lovely, Mira, truly..
Mira: *opening the door and stepping in side, surveying the empty living area and closing the door behind you after you enter* I'm so glad you think so. Don't worry about any rush in moving, of course. There is still a lot of work to be done. I don't imagine we will move until just before the baby is born. Plenty of time to plan.
Elijah: *furrowing my brow* Mira, I have to tell you something...
Mira: *turning toward you and crossing my arms, my face showing concern* What is it? Something you don't like? Come, let's walk so I can show you your room while you tell me. *starting to walk toward the doorway into the narrow hall*
Elijah: *tugging at your hand to keep you still* Mira, it won't be my room.
Mira: *turning to you, dumbfounded for a moment* What are you talking about? *crossing my arms again* I thought Billy was perfectly fine with the arrangement.
Elijah: *quietly* It's only partly to do with Billy... *furrowing my brow* I'm not being responsible, Mira. Hannah came all this way to see me, and she was very upset when I told her I was going to move across town with you. *quieter* And, as for Billy, he was upset too. And... It's understandable... He likes having me close by.
Mira: *huffing, indignance consuming my countenence, but keeping my manner decisively cool, pacing to keep from looking at you* It is less than an hour's carriage ride here. He is welcome anytime, of course. We intentionally thought of that when we chose your room to be at the far end of the hall from ours. And if Hannah needs to come... well, I'm certain we can work something out. You could share the duties of caring for the child when we aren't here... *shaking my head as I stop in front of a window and stare out of it, consumed with frustration at this change in plans*
Elijah: *quietly* I'm sorry. *biting my lip for a moment* Mira, you don't know much I want this... *unable to keep my voice from quavering* He'll never give me a baby... I'll never have one, ever... *swallowing* I could have, but Nicole got an abortion without telling me... But I... I don't know what to do. I don't want to ask you to take on Hannah as well as me, and I don't want Billy to be lonely. He's very busy... it's convenient for me to be right across the street.
Mira: *hanging my head and sighing, pushing aside my selfishness* I"m sorry. I have no right to be upset. There were no plans set in stone. *turning back to you, stepping close and placing my hands on each of your upper arms, looking into your eyes* The child will still adore you, Uncle Elijah. And you are always welcome here any time. As is Billy... *lowering my eyes a little* ...and perhaps he will change his mind in time.
Elijah: *taking you into my arms, trying desperately to hold back tears* Please don't be angry with me... *softly* I love you and Domi so much... but Hannah's family... I want her to be as happy as she can be. And Billy... I mean, I've tried to explain how much this means to me...
Mira: *holding you close and shushing you, then replying softly* I know. *pausing, then pulling back* Perhaps it would comfort you to know he seemed quite fascinated at lunch the other day. He even layed on my belly in the coach. *putting a hand on the slight in my tummy, patting the taut surface under my dress*
Elijah: *smiling slightly, my hand covering yours between us* Your baby is going to be so wonderful...
Mira: *looking down at your hand on mine, gasping with the sudden arousal, damn it, not now, not with Elijah, too, trying to ignore it, deciding to break the moment before my mind becomes consumed with my body's reactions, clearing my throat and swallowing, smiling and hoping I am not blushing* Let me show you the rest of the house. *moving slowly toward the hall*
Elijah: *blinking in confusion when you pull away from me, but nodding all the same, taking your hand* I will have to come and visit very, very often... as much as I can.
Mira: Of course. We can have a bed set up in our study particularly for guests. *leading you to the first door* This is the room that... would have been yours. *gesturing for you to enter to room not much smaller than your current bedroom with a window on the far wall along the side of the house*
Elijah: *sighing, but entering it anyway, going to the window and peering out, then stepping back to you, instinctively rubbing at your belly with both hands, murmuring* Tell me how to make this up to you... I don't want you to think that I don't love you or that I don't care about your baby.
Mira: *gasping, my jaw dropping open and my eyes falling closed as I let out a ragged breath, grasping both of your hands quickly and squeezing them, smiling at you, trying to ignore these feelings* You don't owe us anything, and of course I know how you feel about us and the baby. You needn't doubt that. *still short of breath, knowing you are all too familiar with every sign indicating my arousal*
Elijah: *biting my lip* Am I upsetting you? *pulling my hands back* I won't touch you like that if you don't like it.
Mira: Oh, no. *pressing a palm to my face, chuckling at your reaction* No, it is quite the opposite actually. I'm sorry. The pregnancy has made me... very amorous... very needing for... even the slightest sexual pleasures. I hear it is not uncommon at certain stages, but... never did I dream it could be so... *shaking my head and turning toward the door* Come, let me show you the middle room we will be using for a study.
Elijah: *flushing brightly* Oh... Yes... *swallowing* I imagine Dominic will practically be living in the study.
Mira: Yes, perhaps so. *walking unnecessarily fast to the doorway into the study and pausing to gesture inside the large room with two large windows along the back of the cottage* I am hoping once it is complete he will be comfortable here. One day I hope to cover the walls with a rich oak paneling to match the dark floors. *feeling the heat of arousal continue as you move next to me to look inside, maybe I could ask for just a touch... NO damn it... I shouldn't do such a thing*
Elijah: *smiling, nodding attentively, but sensing your unease when I step close to you* That sounds very nice... *furrowing my brow* But oak is expensive. You might have to wait a little while... *shrugging* Then again, I don't know what your financial situation is.
Mira: *smiling* Of course. It would definitely be well into the future. Certainly something that can wait. *turning and walking on down to the other end of the hall, gesturing to a closed door as I pass* There was once a small storage room here, but we are having water pipes and a bath tub put in so it can be a bath room. *pausing again at the door of the master bedroom, then stepping inside to survey the room, a size somewhere between the other two rooms I have shown you, with a window on each of the outer walls to the back and side of the cottage, noticing that in the sunlight coming in there is a visible spot on the wood where the settled dust had been wiped away, remembering it is where Dominic and I had laid after making love here, staring at the spot as I stand very still in the middle of the room*
Elijah: *following your gaze, ducking my head and smiling knowingly* This is the Master Bedroom, I'm assuming? *leaning against the door frame* It's nice, Mira... This whole place is nice.
Mira: *looking at you over my shoulder, crossing my arms over my chest and smiling, clearing my throat before I speak* Thank you. Yes... this will be our room. You could say it was already our room. *chuckling as I look down and shuffle the dust back over the clear spot a bit with my foot, trying to keep from looking at you for a moment, hoping the persistent arousal will subside this time*
Elijah: *chuckling softly, coming up behind you, wrapping my arms around you, rubbing gently at your belly, standing up on my tip-toes and hooking my chin over your shoulder, murmuring* You and Domi are so lucky to have found each other like this... *humming contentedly* I'm jealous that Billy got to lie on your belly. I hope you're not playing favorites with us.
Mira: *gasping when I feel you against me, biting back a moan when you stroke at my belly* No favorites here, mon petit ami, except the father himself. No, Billy was a bit jealous when I told him how much attention you had already given my belly when you first learned there was a baby in there. *smiling and closing my eyes, concentrating on how you feel so close to me, taking full advantage of the innocent moment*
Elijah: *laughing softly* We're so crazy... I suppose it's stupid to go around finding reasons to be jealous of one another, mmm? *sighing and closing my eyes, my hands sliding over the swell of your belly appreciatively* You're so vibrant like this, Mira...
Mira: *taking in a deep breath as I enjoy your touches, relaxing into my arousal enough to reach up and place my hands over your and let out an unexpected soft groan, my eyes opening suddenly when I realize what I had done*
Elijah: *starting when I hear the sound, my brow furrowing a little, but not moving* All right?
Mira: *gaping a moment, my heart rate and breaths quickened* Yes. Quite all right. More than all right really. *turning around, pausing a second to look at you* I need to sit down. *moving to sit down on the floor, grasping one of your hands as I do* Come sit with me. You can lay on my belly and talk to the baby. *hoping perhaps such an action would counteract my arousal, taking my mind off my needs and turning more attention to the baby*
Elijah: *biting my lip as we sit, my voice softer, more hesitant* This might be too forward of me... but... *raising my eyebrows a little* May I see? Your belly, I mean... *flushing* I've seen a lot of pregnant women before, but never their bellies without big, billowy dresses covering them. I'm very curious.
Mira: *gaping at you for a moment as if startled by your request, then nodding, not wanting to say yes out loud, though truly wanting to beg for so much more, situating myself comfortably as I pull my skirts up over my belly, revealing that I am wearing only a garter belt and stockings, wondering if you will notice or be desirous to touch me there, oh god yes, please... no stop... stop thinking about it*
Elijah: *a whisper of a smile flitting over my lips, keeping my expression otherwise unreadable, my eyes modestly on the full curve of your belly, reaching out a hand tentatively* May I? *sliding my hand over your skin when you nod, rubbing gently, my tone bewildered* Your skin feels so taut... Does it hurt? That you're stretching like this, I mean?
Mira: *speaking with a audibly forced calm despite my quickened breaths* Hurt? No. It doesn't hurt. I have been told to keep oils or lotions on it to soften the skin so that it will stretch easier, be more elastic. *clearing my throat when I notice my voice sounding raw* Dominic and I felt the baby move. Did I tell you it moved?
Elijah: *shaking my head with a smile* That's good... *leaning down and in, pressing my cheek to the side of your belly, closing my eyes to listen, chuckling* Well, I can certainly tell that someone's in there...
Mira: *laughing softly, then reaching my hand up to stroke idly through your hair* In fact, it was the oddest thing. It moved on both sides, and quite pronounced, and for several minutes.
Elijah: *smiling widely, turning my face and kissing at your belly softly, murmuring* Busy on both ends, mmm? *caressing the other side of your belly affectionately*
Mira: Oui, I should ask the doctor about it. And about these... other things. *reaching down and stroking my inner thigh, my mind drifting into more lustful thoughts*
Elijah: *pulling back, swallowing a little, helping you lower the hem of your dress back to a decent level* I'm certain the feelings are normal...
Mira: *grasping your wrist and looking at you with a sense of desparation* Normal or not I can't stop feeling the need. The doctor said I couldn't use opium at all, and I have tried so hard to resist using it to ward off these desires. Instead I... have to find other means of getting through it... other ways to quench the desires.
Elijah: *looking to you, my gaze suddenly turning lost and little nervous* It is good that you aren't using opium. That might hurt your baby.
Mira: *nodding and looking down at my hand holding your wrist, moving it to interlace with your fingers instead* That is what the doctor said. And I want a healthy perfect baby. I just... *looking back into your eyes again* Will you help me? When Dominic cannot?
Elijah: *about to say something, gripping your hand tightly, then ducking my head slightly, my voice small* I'm sorry... I can't.
Mira: Please. I'm not asking for much. You used to know just how to do it... how to bring me to such joyous peaks just with a touch. Please... for me? *having let go of my restraint, leaning forward and nuzzling your neck, placing soft kisses there, continuing to whisper my pleas*
Elijah: *pulling back from you, now becoming visibly upset* Mira, I can't... I can't... *pressing my forehead to yours* I love Billy. I belong to him... I don't want it to be any other way.
Mira: *reaching to grasp both your hands and squeezing them, tears now filling my eyes* It is not infidelity toward Billy. Only a touch. Please. Do you... not want me at all anymore? Even if it weren't for Billy or Dominic? *looking hurt from the idea that you would no longer find me attractive*
Elijah: *softly, desperately* No, no... That's not it at all, Mira... *biting my lip for a moment, murmuring* It's because I do want you that I must resist you... Billy and I have an arrangement, but we made it primarily so Billy is free to train his employees without feeling guilty... *pulling you close to me* I just want to be faithful to him. I just want to be good.
Mira: *placing my hands gently on either side of your face, still pleading in my tone, but softening my voice* I doubt that Billy would be in the least offended that you brought pleasure to me. In fact I can... almost promise he would consider it a favor to me... a gift between two people he loves very much. *bowing my head and squeezing my eyes closed against the tears that have gathered in them*
Elijah: Shhh... *pulling back slightly, then leaning in, giving your forehead a soft kiss, murmuring* I want to take care of you, Mira, in every way... *swallowing* But I just can't... I want to be completely faithful to Billy... He takes such good care of me. I want to keep myself for him in these ways... *sighing softly* I know it doesn't seem like much to ask - a touch... but... it's the intention that counts.
Mira: *silent for a moment, confused by both your reaction and my own emotions, wishing this was not happening* I'm sorry, Elijah. *pulling away from you slowly, standing with my back to you and placing a palm over my face when it contorts with my emotion* We should go.
Elijah: *frustrated, standing up quickly, my voice raising* Is it so much to ask, Mira? Is it so much to you? Do you want to know the truth! I'm threatened! I'm afraid! You and Domi have been the only ones to truly ever come between myself and Billy, with the exception of my well-meaning sister! What would you have me think? That you're so desperate for sex that you can't even be satisfied with the untiring efforts of your own husband? And what of Billy? *my eyes blazing* You've had him... You know what to say, what to do to get what you want from him.
Mira: *sobbing quietly into my hand as you speak, refusing to look at you, feeling anger mix with my sadness, glaring at you* So that's it then. I'm still nothing but a whore to you? A whore who threatens to come between you and your lover? Even though I am married? Even though I have made the same promises to Dominic that you have to Billy? And all because I asked you to... *growling out in frustration before continuing, pointing at you with my voice raised in anger* That's what it is! You're blaming me for Billy's choice to take other lovers, aren't you? Damn you! *storming out of the room and down the hall, stopping in the living room with my hands on my hips, my jaw clenched*
Elijah: *swallowing, furrowing my brow, standing motionless for a few long minutes before cautiously making my way to you in the living room, silently coming up behind you and wrapping my arms around your waist, holding you lightly in case my touch is unwanted, murmuring softly* I'm sorry. You're right. I'm being unreasonable. *quietly* I just worry... I'm not good enough for him, and I dread the day that he finds out. I don't feel like I'm doing enough if I'm not giving my whole self to him... all of me, not just part of me, or most of me, even.
Mira: *still full of the rush from my anger, now angry at you for such horrid perceptions of yourself, spinning around and grasping your wrists, shaking your arms as I speak* Stop it! Stop this awful talk. Billy Boyd knows what he wants and has excellent taste in everything. Frankly to say you aren't good enough for him is accusing him of bad taste, and I have to personally take offense for that. My god, Elijah, if you don't stop telling yourself you aren't worthy for him, he's going to start to believe it. And if you love him, you aren't going to let that happen... or someone else is going to be there to pick up the pieces, whether you like it or not. It isn't all of your life Billy needs, it is simply all of your heart.
Elijah: *startled, my voice small and bewildered* But he is my whole life. How can I deny him? I know he wants his freedom, and he feels he has to be diplomatic, be fair, and offer that same freedom to me... but I know he would rather that I am faithful to him, and so I am. Why is that awful?
Mira: *moving my hands and placing them on your shoulders, shaking my head, my tone apologetic* It isn't awful... certainly... not awful at all. It is perfectly normal and acceptable. *turning away from you and crossing my arms over my chest* I wish we could all feel such a deep sense of commitment to overcome temptations... even ones I can barely control.
Elijah: *turning you back toward me wordlessly and pulling you close, kissing you fiercely and holding you close to me for a short moment, then releasing you, my eyes glistening* I'm not perfect; I'm far from the perfect lover. *furrowing my brow* But I must be this way. *swallowing* I hope you know now that I still feel for you... This is simply the choice I've made.
Mira: *a tear falling from each eye when I squeeze them closed, smiling through the frustration and nodding* I know. *leaning in close to hold on tight to you* I know.
Elijah: *rubbing your back soothingly, leaning up and in to kiss your cheek* I love you so much, Mira. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.
Mira: *moving to kiss you in return, settling softly on your lips for a moment, both hands placed gently on either side of your face, then placing my forehead against yours* And the last thing I want to do is hurt any one of you that I love. It is funny that... you would be such a stronger example than I in commitment. *chuckling* Who would have ever guessed?
Elijah: *flushing miserably* That isn't true. *ducking my head* I've been so foolish and unfaithful to Billy in the past, over silly quarrels... I am lucky that he has taken me back.
Mira: *tilting my head and smiling, stroking one of your cheeks as I look into your eyes* And Billy is lucky to have you now, what you have become to him... so faithful... so utterly in love. *pulling away slowly, wanting to rid my thoughts of the bittersweet, and pacing across the room toward a wide doorway at the far end, leading into the kitchen, pausing at the threshold, my arms crossed again, and surveying the room* I hope I can afford to have the water pipes put in. I would dread having to haul water from the well into the kitchen every day.
Elijah: *timidly, ignoring your banter about the pipes* Are you sad that Billy and I are in love?
Mira: *leaning a shoulder on the door jamb, my smile dropping, but not turning to look at you, silent for a long moment, unsure how to answer you, yet knowing just what I truly feel* No. I am not sad that you are in love with one another. I am very happy for you both.
Elijah: I wish Billy and Domi could be truly reconciled... We four could be so close. We could do so many things together. *softly* Do you wish that?
Mira: *sniffling, another silent pause weighting the air between us, my voice sounding strained when I reply* Yes. I wish that very much. *squeezing my eyes closed again as quiet sobs surface*
Elijah: Ohhh... *going to you, tugging your hand* Sit down with me. Here, sit with me, on my lap. *wrapping my arms around you as I tug you down, kissing the side of your face with a slight smile* I'm sorry. *my smile fading a little, nudging you* Don't cry... please? I don't want to upset you anymore.
Mira: *only sobbing harder burying my face in my hands and shaking my head in protest* I've said too much... done too much... I'm sorry. I had no right to ask things of you that would... put your love in jeopardy. Dominic has been so good to me. I have no right to ask for more. No right at all.
Elijah: Shhh... shhh, now... *shushing you soothingly, kissing at your wet cheek* I understand... I know you can't control this, Mira. I overreacted. Please don't be upset... *whispering* I know you and Domi have a different arrangement than the one I'm trying to uphold with Billy - and which Billy himself isn't even party to. This isn't your fault.
Mira: *shaking my head again, tucking my hair back from my face as my sobs continue, though less extreme* We have no different arrangement, really. We are married. We agreed there would be no others... that we would avoid anything to make the other person jealous... but... we did not define just what actions would be considered unfaithful. So I... took the liberty of defining it very liberally... for a little while. *sniffling and pulling a small handkerchief from my pocket to blot my face, realizing in a second that it is one of Billy's handkerchiefs, squeezing my eyes closed again when sobs attempt to come again*
Elijah: Hush, now... What are you trying to tell me? *taking the handkerchief from you, dabbing at your eyes patiently, smiling a little when I realize the handkerchief belongs to Billy - or at least did, at one time*
Mira: *sniffling, trying to form sensible sentences from my thoughts, rocking a little in nervousness* Only that... well... as long as penetration was not involved, I saw no... reason... *cutting myself off and shaking my head again* I am just being silly. I know I am not making any sense at all. How can one be sexual without calling it sex? It is absurd... absurd.
Elijah: Dieu... *steadying you in your rocking, my brow furrowed in concern* Don't take on so... I will make no judgments about you, Mira.
Mira: I know that... I know you wouldn't, but... *pulling myself to standing again and pacing back and forth in front of you, raking my fingers through my hair and growling in frustration* Why does God do this to me?! *stopping in mid-pace and bending forward, placing my hands on my belly and looking surprised* Oh my. It is moving about again. *chuckling and smiling with a tinge of joy despite my reddened, tear-streaked face*
Elijah: Let me feel! *instantly brightening, quickly forgetting in my innocent excitement both of our upset, kneeling in front of you and pressing my cheek to your belly* I hear things! I can hear it moving... *making a slight face through my smile* Sounds squishy... *placing my hand over yours, giggling softly*
Mira: *trying not to laugh at your reaction, a small giggle escaping despite my effort* And on the other side, too! Here. *putting your other hand where the second movement can be felt* Oh dear, I hope it doesn't have legs on both ends, or maybe it is arms and legs?
Elijah: That's so strange and lovely... *laughing again, then making a face up at you* It's probably fussing because you were shouting... *nudging your belly, smiling widely* I can feel you in there... *my hands rubbing gently where I feel the movement*
Quickly all else was forgotten... the frustrations of sexual temptation, the debate of moral and ethical stances... and all attention turned to the life inside of Mira's belly, asserting that there were far greater things to be concerned about in this world. It brought them peace, and as Elijah and Mira rode back into the city they enjoyed sharing dreams of the future with children in it.
Mira: *sitting close to you in the tiny carriage, bundled up against a cold wind despite the cloudless blue sky, warmed by the excitement of showing your our new home, speaking in spurts since we left your flat* And just wait until you see the view from window in the room Dominic and I will be using for our bedroom. It is so beautiful, and will be even more so when the Spring brings more flowers into bloom.
Elijah: *smiling a little, trying hard not to ruin your excitement - it will be nice to see your new place... at least, that's what I keep telling myself; rubbing my hands together briskly*
Mira: *speaking to the driver* It is just around the corner here on the right. The little stone cottage. *smiling at you with barely-contained excitement* I'm quite certain any furniture you want to bring will fit nicely into your room. If you need to leave pieces with Hannah, don't worry. We will have plenty to share before long.
Elijah: *nodding, and forcing my smile wider, squinting as your house comes into view* That certainly looks cozy and wonderful, Mira... A place you can finally be happy with, yes?
Mira: *giving your forearm a squeeze* Yes! I admit I had my doubts at first, there being so many things to do to prepare the house as a decent living space, woodwork and painting and having modern plumbing added, but the more it comes together, the more I can envision how wonderful it will be! *nearly jumping over you to exit the carriage when we come to a stop, patiently allowing you to help me out once you have exited, tipping the driver and asking him to stay for a few minutes and wait for us, then grasping your hand and pulling you across the yard* The stone work is very old, but most of the interior walls and floors were added only twenty years ago. *fishing a key out of my purse as we approach the door*
Elijah: *squeezing your hand tightly, swallowing hard as I try to maintain my smile* It's lovely, Mira, truly..
Mira: *opening the door and stepping in side, surveying the empty living area and closing the door behind you after you enter* I'm so glad you think so. Don't worry about any rush in moving, of course. There is still a lot of work to be done. I don't imagine we will move until just before the baby is born. Plenty of time to plan.
Elijah: *furrowing my brow* Mira, I have to tell you something...
Mira: *turning toward you and crossing my arms, my face showing concern* What is it? Something you don't like? Come, let's walk so I can show you your room while you tell me. *starting to walk toward the doorway into the narrow hall*
Elijah: *tugging at your hand to keep you still* Mira, it won't be my room.
Mira: *turning to you, dumbfounded for a moment* What are you talking about? *crossing my arms again* I thought Billy was perfectly fine with the arrangement.
Elijah: *quietly* It's only partly to do with Billy... *furrowing my brow* I'm not being responsible, Mira. Hannah came all this way to see me, and she was very upset when I told her I was going to move across town with you. *quieter* And, as for Billy, he was upset too. And... It's understandable... He likes having me close by.
Mira: *huffing, indignance consuming my countenence, but keeping my manner decisively cool, pacing to keep from looking at you* It is less than an hour's carriage ride here. He is welcome anytime, of course. We intentionally thought of that when we chose your room to be at the far end of the hall from ours. And if Hannah needs to come... well, I'm certain we can work something out. You could share the duties of caring for the child when we aren't here... *shaking my head as I stop in front of a window and stare out of it, consumed with frustration at this change in plans*
Elijah: *quietly* I'm sorry. *biting my lip for a moment* Mira, you don't know much I want this... *unable to keep my voice from quavering* He'll never give me a baby... I'll never have one, ever... *swallowing* I could have, but Nicole got an abortion without telling me... But I... I don't know what to do. I don't want to ask you to take on Hannah as well as me, and I don't want Billy to be lonely. He's very busy... it's convenient for me to be right across the street.
Mira: *hanging my head and sighing, pushing aside my selfishness* I"m sorry. I have no right to be upset. There were no plans set in stone. *turning back to you, stepping close and placing my hands on each of your upper arms, looking into your eyes* The child will still adore you, Uncle Elijah. And you are always welcome here any time. As is Billy... *lowering my eyes a little* ...and perhaps he will change his mind in time.
Elijah: *taking you into my arms, trying desperately to hold back tears* Please don't be angry with me... *softly* I love you and Domi so much... but Hannah's family... I want her to be as happy as she can be. And Billy... I mean, I've tried to explain how much this means to me...
Mira: *holding you close and shushing you, then replying softly* I know. *pausing, then pulling back* Perhaps it would comfort you to know he seemed quite fascinated at lunch the other day. He even layed on my belly in the coach. *putting a hand on the slight in my tummy, patting the taut surface under my dress*
Elijah: *smiling slightly, my hand covering yours between us* Your baby is going to be so wonderful...
Mira: *looking down at your hand on mine, gasping with the sudden arousal, damn it, not now, not with Elijah, too, trying to ignore it, deciding to break the moment before my mind becomes consumed with my body's reactions, clearing my throat and swallowing, smiling and hoping I am not blushing* Let me show you the rest of the house. *moving slowly toward the hall*
Elijah: *blinking in confusion when you pull away from me, but nodding all the same, taking your hand* I will have to come and visit very, very often... as much as I can.
Mira: Of course. We can have a bed set up in our study particularly for guests. *leading you to the first door* This is the room that... would have been yours. *gesturing for you to enter to room not much smaller than your current bedroom with a window on the far wall along the side of the house*
Elijah: *sighing, but entering it anyway, going to the window and peering out, then stepping back to you, instinctively rubbing at your belly with both hands, murmuring* Tell me how to make this up to you... I don't want you to think that I don't love you or that I don't care about your baby.
Mira: *gasping, my jaw dropping open and my eyes falling closed as I let out a ragged breath, grasping both of your hands quickly and squeezing them, smiling at you, trying to ignore these feelings* You don't owe us anything, and of course I know how you feel about us and the baby. You needn't doubt that. *still short of breath, knowing you are all too familiar with every sign indicating my arousal*
Elijah: *biting my lip* Am I upsetting you? *pulling my hands back* I won't touch you like that if you don't like it.
Mira: Oh, no. *pressing a palm to my face, chuckling at your reaction* No, it is quite the opposite actually. I'm sorry. The pregnancy has made me... very amorous... very needing for... even the slightest sexual pleasures. I hear it is not uncommon at certain stages, but... never did I dream it could be so... *shaking my head and turning toward the door* Come, let me show you the middle room we will be using for a study.
Elijah: *flushing brightly* Oh... Yes... *swallowing* I imagine Dominic will practically be living in the study.
Mira: Yes, perhaps so. *walking unnecessarily fast to the doorway into the study and pausing to gesture inside the large room with two large windows along the back of the cottage* I am hoping once it is complete he will be comfortable here. One day I hope to cover the walls with a rich oak paneling to match the dark floors. *feeling the heat of arousal continue as you move next to me to look inside, maybe I could ask for just a touch... NO damn it... I shouldn't do such a thing*
Elijah: *smiling, nodding attentively, but sensing your unease when I step close to you* That sounds very nice... *furrowing my brow* But oak is expensive. You might have to wait a little while... *shrugging* Then again, I don't know what your financial situation is.
Mira: *smiling* Of course. It would definitely be well into the future. Certainly something that can wait. *turning and walking on down to the other end of the hall, gesturing to a closed door as I pass* There was once a small storage room here, but we are having water pipes and a bath tub put in so it can be a bath room. *pausing again at the door of the master bedroom, then stepping inside to survey the room, a size somewhere between the other two rooms I have shown you, with a window on each of the outer walls to the back and side of the cottage, noticing that in the sunlight coming in there is a visible spot on the wood where the settled dust had been wiped away, remembering it is where Dominic and I had laid after making love here, staring at the spot as I stand very still in the middle of the room*
Elijah: *following your gaze, ducking my head and smiling knowingly* This is the Master Bedroom, I'm assuming? *leaning against the door frame* It's nice, Mira... This whole place is nice.
Mira: *looking at you over my shoulder, crossing my arms over my chest and smiling, clearing my throat before I speak* Thank you. Yes... this will be our room. You could say it was already our room. *chuckling as I look down and shuffle the dust back over the clear spot a bit with my foot, trying to keep from looking at you for a moment, hoping the persistent arousal will subside this time*
Elijah: *chuckling softly, coming up behind you, wrapping my arms around you, rubbing gently at your belly, standing up on my tip-toes and hooking my chin over your shoulder, murmuring* You and Domi are so lucky to have found each other like this... *humming contentedly* I'm jealous that Billy got to lie on your belly. I hope you're not playing favorites with us.
Mira: *gasping when I feel you against me, biting back a moan when you stroke at my belly* No favorites here, mon petit ami, except the father himself. No, Billy was a bit jealous when I told him how much attention you had already given my belly when you first learned there was a baby in there. *smiling and closing my eyes, concentrating on how you feel so close to me, taking full advantage of the innocent moment*
Elijah: *laughing softly* We're so crazy... I suppose it's stupid to go around finding reasons to be jealous of one another, mmm? *sighing and closing my eyes, my hands sliding over the swell of your belly appreciatively* You're so vibrant like this, Mira...
Mira: *taking in a deep breath as I enjoy your touches, relaxing into my arousal enough to reach up and place my hands over your and let out an unexpected soft groan, my eyes opening suddenly when I realize what I had done*
Elijah: *starting when I hear the sound, my brow furrowing a little, but not moving* All right?
Mira: *gaping a moment, my heart rate and breaths quickened* Yes. Quite all right. More than all right really. *turning around, pausing a second to look at you* I need to sit down. *moving to sit down on the floor, grasping one of your hands as I do* Come sit with me. You can lay on my belly and talk to the baby. *hoping perhaps such an action would counteract my arousal, taking my mind off my needs and turning more attention to the baby*
Elijah: *biting my lip as we sit, my voice softer, more hesitant* This might be too forward of me... but... *raising my eyebrows a little* May I see? Your belly, I mean... *flushing* I've seen a lot of pregnant women before, but never their bellies without big, billowy dresses covering them. I'm very curious.
Mira: *gaping at you for a moment as if startled by your request, then nodding, not wanting to say yes out loud, though truly wanting to beg for so much more, situating myself comfortably as I pull my skirts up over my belly, revealing that I am wearing only a garter belt and stockings, wondering if you will notice or be desirous to touch me there, oh god yes, please... no stop... stop thinking about it*
Elijah: *a whisper of a smile flitting over my lips, keeping my expression otherwise unreadable, my eyes modestly on the full curve of your belly, reaching out a hand tentatively* May I? *sliding my hand over your skin when you nod, rubbing gently, my tone bewildered* Your skin feels so taut... Does it hurt? That you're stretching like this, I mean?
Mira: *speaking with a audibly forced calm despite my quickened breaths* Hurt? No. It doesn't hurt. I have been told to keep oils or lotions on it to soften the skin so that it will stretch easier, be more elastic. *clearing my throat when I notice my voice sounding raw* Dominic and I felt the baby move. Did I tell you it moved?
Elijah: *shaking my head with a smile* That's good... *leaning down and in, pressing my cheek to the side of your belly, closing my eyes to listen, chuckling* Well, I can certainly tell that someone's in there...
Mira: *laughing softly, then reaching my hand up to stroke idly through your hair* In fact, it was the oddest thing. It moved on both sides, and quite pronounced, and for several minutes.
Elijah: *smiling widely, turning my face and kissing at your belly softly, murmuring* Busy on both ends, mmm? *caressing the other side of your belly affectionately*
Mira: Oui, I should ask the doctor about it. And about these... other things. *reaching down and stroking my inner thigh, my mind drifting into more lustful thoughts*
Elijah: *pulling back, swallowing a little, helping you lower the hem of your dress back to a decent level* I'm certain the feelings are normal...
Mira: *grasping your wrist and looking at you with a sense of desparation* Normal or not I can't stop feeling the need. The doctor said I couldn't use opium at all, and I have tried so hard to resist using it to ward off these desires. Instead I... have to find other means of getting through it... other ways to quench the desires.
Elijah: *looking to you, my gaze suddenly turning lost and little nervous* It is good that you aren't using opium. That might hurt your baby.
Mira: *nodding and looking down at my hand holding your wrist, moving it to interlace with your fingers instead* That is what the doctor said. And I want a healthy perfect baby. I just... *looking back into your eyes again* Will you help me? When Dominic cannot?
Elijah: *about to say something, gripping your hand tightly, then ducking my head slightly, my voice small* I'm sorry... I can't.
Mira: Please. I'm not asking for much. You used to know just how to do it... how to bring me to such joyous peaks just with a touch. Please... for me? *having let go of my restraint, leaning forward and nuzzling your neck, placing soft kisses there, continuing to whisper my pleas*
Elijah: *pulling back from you, now becoming visibly upset* Mira, I can't... I can't... *pressing my forehead to yours* I love Billy. I belong to him... I don't want it to be any other way.
Mira: *reaching to grasp both your hands and squeezing them, tears now filling my eyes* It is not infidelity toward Billy. Only a touch. Please. Do you... not want me at all anymore? Even if it weren't for Billy or Dominic? *looking hurt from the idea that you would no longer find me attractive*
Elijah: *softly, desperately* No, no... That's not it at all, Mira... *biting my lip for a moment, murmuring* It's because I do want you that I must resist you... Billy and I have an arrangement, but we made it primarily so Billy is free to train his employees without feeling guilty... *pulling you close to me* I just want to be faithful to him. I just want to be good.
Mira: *placing my hands gently on either side of your face, still pleading in my tone, but softening my voice* I doubt that Billy would be in the least offended that you brought pleasure to me. In fact I can... almost promise he would consider it a favor to me... a gift between two people he loves very much. *bowing my head and squeezing my eyes closed against the tears that have gathered in them*
Elijah: Shhh... *pulling back slightly, then leaning in, giving your forehead a soft kiss, murmuring* I want to take care of you, Mira, in every way... *swallowing* But I just can't... I want to be completely faithful to Billy... He takes such good care of me. I want to keep myself for him in these ways... *sighing softly* I know it doesn't seem like much to ask - a touch... but... it's the intention that counts.
Mira: *silent for a moment, confused by both your reaction and my own emotions, wishing this was not happening* I'm sorry, Elijah. *pulling away from you slowly, standing with my back to you and placing a palm over my face when it contorts with my emotion* We should go.
Elijah: *frustrated, standing up quickly, my voice raising* Is it so much to ask, Mira? Is it so much to you? Do you want to know the truth! I'm threatened! I'm afraid! You and Domi have been the only ones to truly ever come between myself and Billy, with the exception of my well-meaning sister! What would you have me think? That you're so desperate for sex that you can't even be satisfied with the untiring efforts of your own husband? And what of Billy? *my eyes blazing* You've had him... You know what to say, what to do to get what you want from him.
Mira: *sobbing quietly into my hand as you speak, refusing to look at you, feeling anger mix with my sadness, glaring at you* So that's it then. I'm still nothing but a whore to you? A whore who threatens to come between you and your lover? Even though I am married? Even though I have made the same promises to Dominic that you have to Billy? And all because I asked you to... *growling out in frustration before continuing, pointing at you with my voice raised in anger* That's what it is! You're blaming me for Billy's choice to take other lovers, aren't you? Damn you! *storming out of the room and down the hall, stopping in the living room with my hands on my hips, my jaw clenched*
Elijah: *swallowing, furrowing my brow, standing motionless for a few long minutes before cautiously making my way to you in the living room, silently coming up behind you and wrapping my arms around your waist, holding you lightly in case my touch is unwanted, murmuring softly* I'm sorry. You're right. I'm being unreasonable. *quietly* I just worry... I'm not good enough for him, and I dread the day that he finds out. I don't feel like I'm doing enough if I'm not giving my whole self to him... all of me, not just part of me, or most of me, even.
Mira: *still full of the rush from my anger, now angry at you for such horrid perceptions of yourself, spinning around and grasping your wrists, shaking your arms as I speak* Stop it! Stop this awful talk. Billy Boyd knows what he wants and has excellent taste in everything. Frankly to say you aren't good enough for him is accusing him of bad taste, and I have to personally take offense for that. My god, Elijah, if you don't stop telling yourself you aren't worthy for him, he's going to start to believe it. And if you love him, you aren't going to let that happen... or someone else is going to be there to pick up the pieces, whether you like it or not. It isn't all of your life Billy needs, it is simply all of your heart.
Elijah: *startled, my voice small and bewildered* But he is my whole life. How can I deny him? I know he wants his freedom, and he feels he has to be diplomatic, be fair, and offer that same freedom to me... but I know he would rather that I am faithful to him, and so I am. Why is that awful?
Mira: *moving my hands and placing them on your shoulders, shaking my head, my tone apologetic* It isn't awful... certainly... not awful at all. It is perfectly normal and acceptable. *turning away from you and crossing my arms over my chest* I wish we could all feel such a deep sense of commitment to overcome temptations... even ones I can barely control.
Elijah: *turning you back toward me wordlessly and pulling you close, kissing you fiercely and holding you close to me for a short moment, then releasing you, my eyes glistening* I'm not perfect; I'm far from the perfect lover. *furrowing my brow* But I must be this way. *swallowing* I hope you know now that I still feel for you... This is simply the choice I've made.
Mira: *a tear falling from each eye when I squeeze them closed, smiling through the frustration and nodding* I know. *leaning in close to hold on tight to you* I know.
Elijah: *rubbing your back soothingly, leaning up and in to kiss your cheek* I love you so much, Mira. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.
Mira: *moving to kiss you in return, settling softly on your lips for a moment, both hands placed gently on either side of your face, then placing my forehead against yours* And the last thing I want to do is hurt any one of you that I love. It is funny that... you would be such a stronger example than I in commitment. *chuckling* Who would have ever guessed?
Elijah: *flushing miserably* That isn't true. *ducking my head* I've been so foolish and unfaithful to Billy in the past, over silly quarrels... I am lucky that he has taken me back.
Mira: *tilting my head and smiling, stroking one of your cheeks as I look into your eyes* And Billy is lucky to have you now, what you have become to him... so faithful... so utterly in love. *pulling away slowly, wanting to rid my thoughts of the bittersweet, and pacing across the room toward a wide doorway at the far end, leading into the kitchen, pausing at the threshold, my arms crossed again, and surveying the room* I hope I can afford to have the water pipes put in. I would dread having to haul water from the well into the kitchen every day.
Elijah: *timidly, ignoring your banter about the pipes* Are you sad that Billy and I are in love?
Mira: *leaning a shoulder on the door jamb, my smile dropping, but not turning to look at you, silent for a long moment, unsure how to answer you, yet knowing just what I truly feel* No. I am not sad that you are in love with one another. I am very happy for you both.
Elijah: I wish Billy and Domi could be truly reconciled... We four could be so close. We could do so many things together. *softly* Do you wish that?
Mira: *sniffling, another silent pause weighting the air between us, my voice sounding strained when I reply* Yes. I wish that very much. *squeezing my eyes closed again as quiet sobs surface*
Elijah: Ohhh... *going to you, tugging your hand* Sit down with me. Here, sit with me, on my lap. *wrapping my arms around you as I tug you down, kissing the side of your face with a slight smile* I'm sorry. *my smile fading a little, nudging you* Don't cry... please? I don't want to upset you anymore.
Mira: *only sobbing harder burying my face in my hands and shaking my head in protest* I've said too much... done too much... I'm sorry. I had no right to ask things of you that would... put your love in jeopardy. Dominic has been so good to me. I have no right to ask for more. No right at all.
Elijah: Shhh... shhh, now... *shushing you soothingly, kissing at your wet cheek* I understand... I know you can't control this, Mira. I overreacted. Please don't be upset... *whispering* I know you and Domi have a different arrangement than the one I'm trying to uphold with Billy - and which Billy himself isn't even party to. This isn't your fault.
Mira: *shaking my head again, tucking my hair back from my face as my sobs continue, though less extreme* We have no different arrangement, really. We are married. We agreed there would be no others... that we would avoid anything to make the other person jealous... but... we did not define just what actions would be considered unfaithful. So I... took the liberty of defining it very liberally... for a little while. *sniffling and pulling a small handkerchief from my pocket to blot my face, realizing in a second that it is one of Billy's handkerchiefs, squeezing my eyes closed again when sobs attempt to come again*
Elijah: Hush, now... What are you trying to tell me? *taking the handkerchief from you, dabbing at your eyes patiently, smiling a little when I realize the handkerchief belongs to Billy - or at least did, at one time*
Mira: *sniffling, trying to form sensible sentences from my thoughts, rocking a little in nervousness* Only that... well... as long as penetration was not involved, I saw no... reason... *cutting myself off and shaking my head again* I am just being silly. I know I am not making any sense at all. How can one be sexual without calling it sex? It is absurd... absurd.
Elijah: Dieu... *steadying you in your rocking, my brow furrowed in concern* Don't take on so... I will make no judgments about you, Mira.
Mira: I know that... I know you wouldn't, but... *pulling myself to standing again and pacing back and forth in front of you, raking my fingers through my hair and growling in frustration* Why does God do this to me?! *stopping in mid-pace and bending forward, placing my hands on my belly and looking surprised* Oh my. It is moving about again. *chuckling and smiling with a tinge of joy despite my reddened, tear-streaked face*
Elijah: Let me feel! *instantly brightening, quickly forgetting in my innocent excitement both of our upset, kneeling in front of you and pressing my cheek to your belly* I hear things! I can hear it moving... *making a slight face through my smile* Sounds squishy... *placing my hand over yours, giggling softly*
Mira: *trying not to laugh at your reaction, a small giggle escaping despite my effort* And on the other side, too! Here. *putting your other hand where the second movement can be felt* Oh dear, I hope it doesn't have legs on both ends, or maybe it is arms and legs?
Elijah: That's so strange and lovely... *laughing again, then making a face up at you* It's probably fussing because you were shouting... *nudging your belly, smiling widely* I can feel you in there... *my hands rubbing gently where I feel the movement*
Quickly all else was forgotten... the frustrations of sexual temptation, the debate of moral and ethical stances... and all attention turned to the life inside of Mira's belly, asserting that there were far greater things to be concerned about in this world. It brought them peace, and as Elijah and Mira rode back into the city they enjoyed sharing dreams of the future with children in it.