BURNINATING

Feb 09, 2004 00:17

Trogdor Burninates California Countryside
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The California countryside has been ablaze for the last 3 days, thanks to Trogdor, the "Burninator". The dragon-man had reportedly been spotted in the area over the past week, but no one had been able to conclusively prove his presence, or even his existence, until yesterday. A San Diego NBC 7/39 news crew captured the elusive beast in all his majesty about to burninate a few grass roof cottages in the Descanso area.


At least 200,000 acres have been burninated since Saturday night, with over a thousand homes destroyed.
Strongbad, the man said to have created Trogdor, had this to say about his creation: "Ha! Trogdor strikes again!"

Descanso resident Jeremy Lovettis was one of the few eyewitnesses to witness the animal in all his majesty.
"My wife was looking out the window, and she said that there was something in our yard. I asked her what it was, and she said, 'it's a man...no, wait....it's a dragon-man, or maybe it's just a dragon.' Then my son yelled, 'It's Trogdor, the Burninator!'
I asked him how he knew the beast's name, and he said he had no idea. Strange."

This isn't the first time that Trogdor has been blamed for illegal burninating. A die-hard Detroit Red Wings fan, he became incensed at the team's early exit from the playoffs last year, and destroyed 4 city blocks.

Lame-duck California Governor Gray Davis had some choice words for the dragon. "Just because you're all majestic and stuff, you can't just go around burninating things. There are rules in this society, sir, and the fact that you're a 2-dimensional cartoon does not excuse you from blame for the death and destruction you caused. Shame on you!"
Davis then shook his finger angrily, and threatened to start a Trogdor smear campaign. Nobody takes him seriously anymore though, so it was just an empty promise.

The latest plan to combat Trogdor's burninating rampage consists of Governor-elect Schwarzenegger, a helicoptor, bad jokes, a rocket lancher, a beautiful native woman, and a comic sidekick.

To be continued:
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