FIC: Schisms, Lee/Kara, PG, Chapter Two
Title: Schisms, 2/?
Rating: PG, though it will probably go up later
Spoilers: Season 1, so far. Though this goes firmly AU before the mini.
Pairings: Kara/Lee, mentions of Kara/Zak
Summary: AU fic. What if Kara never served on the Galactica before the attacks? What if Lee made a mistake he couldn't fix? Maybe some things break for a reason. WIP.
Warnings: none that I can think of... maybe angst?
Author's Note: Grateful thanks to uberscribbler, cliosmuse and stardust_20 who looked this over for me and provided tons of helpful advice. However, I can never leave things alone and have kept tweaking after they checked - so if you find any errors, they are mine. If you've read this before on FF.N, you might still want to reread; I've changed a fair bit (though not plot.)
Back to Chapter One
~ * ~
Chapter Two
~ * ~
Kara rested her forehead against the hatch and tried to remember how to breathe. So Lee was alive, and now he knew everything.
When the Cylons had attacked and destroyed the Twelve Colonies, Kara had been more than relieved to know Bill Adama was in charge of the survivors. One of her biggest regrets was not telling him she was leaving. Truth was she’d known he would be able to talk her out of it, and she couldn’t bear to disappoint him by telling him the truth.
Immediately after the attacks, she’d thought about going to see him and letting him know she was alive. The ‘Old Man’ deserved to know he had a grandson, especially after losing both his sons.
She hadn’t known Lee had survived.
When she’d thought he was dead, she hadn’t known how to feel. She’d tried to hate him for his abandonment, but had given it up as futile. She couldn’t hate him when she saw him in Sebastian every day. She’d often wondered whether Lee ever thought about his potential child, but now she had no doubt he’d successfully managed to put the whole situation out of his mind. Same old Lee.
She would bet her last cigar he wouldn’t tell the old man the whole truth.
~ * ~
Later that evening, curled up on her lap as they watched the news broadcast, Seb finally got around to asking her about Lee.
“Mom, who was that man who was here earlier?”
And there it was. Not exactly how she’d expected the question of Lee to come up, but then she’d never thought Seb would actually get to meet his father. She smoothed her fingers through his hair as she debated what to tell him. “Someone I used to know before the end of the worlds,” she said finally.
“I’ve never seen him before.” He seemed to sense she was holding something back.
“The last time I saw him was before you were born.” Not the whole truth, by any means, but it was certainly enough for now.
“Oh.” He accepted that, brow creased in thought. “Why was he here?”
“Nosy today, aren’t you?” she teased. “He’s a pilot on the Galactica. Wanted me to go and teach people to fly vipers and help fight the Cylons.”
“And you said no? Why?”
“Well, we’d have to move to Galactica for starters. What about school?”
“I’ll join the fleet,” he decided. “You can teach me; I wanna fly vipers like you did.”
She shivered and tightened her arms around him protectively, thinking of Zak. “Not on your life, kiddo.”
“Aww Mom, please?” He twisted in her lap so that he could flash her the baby blues. Darn, she thought. Five years old and already he knows how to manipulate me.
“You’re much too young,” she chastised.
“When I’m older then?” And Lee’s dogged persistence, too.
“We’ll see.”
“We’ll see means no.” And there’s the pout.
“We’ll see means we’ll see,” she finished firmly. “Now, bedtime. You’ve got school in the morning.”
The pout became even more pronounced, if it was possible, but he dutifully stood up and started towards the bedroom.
“Hey,” she called him back. “Kiss?”
Without hesitation he came trotting back to her and kissed her cheek. “G’night Mom.”
“Night, baby. Sweet dreams.”
~ * ~
Six Years Earlier:
As the gods would have it, the day Bill Adama showed up on the doorstep of Kara’s apartment on Caprica was the same day she discovered she was pregnant.
He was precisely the last person she expected to see.
“Kara,” he greeted her, his expression unreadable.
She hadn’t seen him since she’d confessed her misconduct with regard to Zak’s final test. She’d seen how hurt he was by Lee’s anger and had wanted nothing more than to mend the rift between them. Lee had forgiven her and she had dared to think his father might too, but instead she had made things worse-Bill refused to see her, and Lee now hated his father on her behalf as well as Zak’s. If the results hadn’t been so disastrous, she would almost have been proud of such a monumental frak-up.
She bit her lip, unsure of what to expect from this meeting. “Sir,” she acknowledged, keeping her tone even.
“May I come in?” he asked her carefully.
She nodded and stood aside to let him pass. “Would you like a drink, sir?” she asked, motioning him to the couch as she stepped into the kitchenette.
“Yes, thank you.”
She couldn’t drink until she decided what to do about the baby, and the nausea she was still feeling made it inadvisable anyway. However, if she didn’t drink with him he would wonder why, so she also poured a glass of water for herself. Stepping back into the living area, she handed over his glass and took the seat opposite. There was an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes as Kara cradled her drink and avoided making eye contact.
“Have you thought about what you’ll do when your leave runs out?” he asked, finally.
She took a gulp from her glass and lied. “Not really.” She’d done nothing but think about it since she’d found out about the baby.
“I’d like to offer you a position on my ship.”
She had to replay the words in her head a few times before she could comprehend them. “You want me in your air group?” she asked, blinking.
“I need someone to give my birds a proper workout,” he joked. “And you need to get back in the cockpit.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I’m sorry about what I said,” he admitted. “You never meant for things to turn out the way they did.”
She didn’t know what to say to that. She looked away, throat suddenly tight and she wished it was ambrosia in her glass. She swallowed some anyway and managed to reply, “I’ll think about it.”
His eyes were sad and understanding, “That’s all I can ask, Kara.” He drained the rest of his glass and stood up. She did likewise, and stiffened as he took hold of her shoulders and pulled her into an awkward embrace. After a moment, she hugged him back, accepting the forgiveness he offered.
When he found out about the baby, he might not forgive her at all.
Two hours later, Lee called to say he had something to tell her, so she pulled on her jacket and headed over there.
She had something to tell him, too.
~ * ~
The normal morning chaos of getting Seb up and ready for school was interrupted by yet another visitor knocking on Kara’s hatch. She hoped it wasn’t Lee returning on some misguided mission to make amends.
“Go get your schoolbag, kiddo,” she ordered, figuring the more evidence that they were just on the way out the better for getting rid of unwanted visitors. Kara opened the hatch with a due sense of dread, but it wasn’t Lee who stood there.
Kara froze in surprise, though in hindsight she really should have expected this visit. “Sir?” she asked, suddenly not so sure that Lee hadn’t come clean with the old man.
“Kara.” He drew out her name and the sadness in his smile made it difficult for her to swallow. He didn’t seem angry at all. Frak. Anger she could deal with. Anger she was used to.
She saw his gaze shift and knew that Seb had appeared beside her.
She took a deep breath, “This is Sebastian.” Kara realised she was holding her son in front of her like a shield and let her hands drop from his shoulders. He didn’t seem to notice. Bill Adama smiled engagingly at Seb, but there was no particular recognition in his eyes, and Kara concluded that Lee hadn’t told him after all. She wasn’t sure if she was glad or sorry.
“Are you Commander Adama?” Seb asked, and Kara blinked in surprise.
“How did you know that?” she asked him.
Her son shrugged. “Well he’s wearing the same uniform that man yesterday was wearing. And I saw him on the news broadcasts saying that we were going to Earth.”
“That man yesterday was my son, Lee,” the old man interjected.
“Really? Mom, you never said he was the commander’s son.” Sebastian turned back to his mother, frowning reproachfully.
If she hadn’t been so unnerved by the whole exchange, Kara might have laughed. “It must have slipped my mind,” she apologised.
Mollified, Seb returned his attention to his grandfather. “So are you gonna order Mom to come and fly vipers for you?” He was clearly impressed that the Commander of the Fleet was visiting them personally.
“Given your Mom’s habit of disobeying orders when it suits her, I don’t think that would be the best course of action,” the old man joked. Seb looked affronted that anyone would accuse his mother of being insubordinate, even the commander.
“Seb,” Kara cut her son off before he could leap to her defence, “Did you put your toys away?”
Sebastian gulped. “Um, no. But I’ll do it right now!” and he darted back into his bedroom.
The old man laughed at the boy’s antics. “He’s definitely your son, Kara.”
Kara snorted. “Yeah, that I’m sure of. Though he’s definitely not the only boy his age who thinks vipers are the best thing ever.”
“Lee was exactly the same. Zak too, but then he always did everything Lee did.” He seemed to notice her pained look, and his smile faded. “You were on your way out,” he apologised.
“Yeah, I just have to take him to school.” She bit her lip. “If you can wait about ten minutes we can talk when I get back, sir?”
Bill Adama nodded. “I can do that, Kara. I have some time today.”
Biting her lip, she gestured towards the same chair Lee had perched on yesterday in all his deserved discomfort. “There’s a bottle of ambrosia and some glasses in the cabinet,” she told him, “Help yourself.” She turned to Seb, who had just returned, schoolbag in hand. “Time to go, kiddo.”
To her surprise, Sebastian gave the commander a salute and a grin. “It was nice to meet you, sir,” he said politely.
“Oh, the pleasure was all mine, Sebastian,” the old man replied, chuckling.
“I’ll be right back, sir,” Kara promised, and hustled her son towards the hatch.
~ * ~
When Kara returned, she found the commander still on his feet, studying the row of photo frames in her lounge area with a half full glass of ambrosia in his hand. When he heard the hatch clang shut he turned to her and smiled.
“I was just trying to get caught up on what I missed,” he admitted, indicating the pictures-most of which featured a grinning Seb. “He’s a fine boy. You must be proud of him, Kara.”
“I am, sir,” she replied, maternal pride momentarily winning out over apprehension.
There was a second glass of ambrosia on the table, and he handed it to her. “I had a feeling you might be needing one for yourself.”
“Thanks,” she told him, and took the seat opposite him.
He didn’t speak for a few moments, merely sat back in his chair and regarded her carefully. Kara wondered if he too was feeling the echoes of their last conversation.
“I seem to remember asking you to serve on my ship once before, Kara,” he said finally. “At least this time you actually gave me an answer.”
“I’m sorry, sir.” The liquid in her mouth seemed to stick in her throat when she swallowed. “I was pretty messed up back then.”
His eyes narrowed a little and she bit her lip in anticipation of his next question.
“How old is your boy?”
“Five years and four months,” she confessed, unable to meet his eyes.
“That’s why you left?” he asked.
The sympathetic tone of his voice led her to dare a glance at his face. His eyes held regret, but not the accusation she’d been expecting. “Yeah,” she admitted.
“I would have helped you, Kara.”
“He’s not Zak’s.” The words came out before she could stop them.
“I know,” he assured her. “I won’t lie to you. Part of me is disappointed, and I understand why you didn’t feel you could confide in me. But I want you to know that I wouldn’t have turned you away.”
She wanted to tell him the truth then and there and damn the consequences to Lee, but then she remembered something he’d said yesterday: ‘I’m talking to him now.’ She couldn’t do it. Knowing what Lee had done would drive another wedge between him and his father, and she couldn’t be responsible for that. Not again.
She would keep her secret.
Time to change the subject. “So you understand why I can’t come and fly vipers for you,” she said.
He sighed, and drained the rest of his glass. “The truth is, I really do need you, Kara. Maybe you heard on the broadcast news about the accident. We lost thirteen pilots. Three more are alive, but they won’t fly again. Another four are in sickbay for the foreseeable future. We’re sitting ducks until we can get our squadron numbers up.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think I could teach again, not after Zak.”
“You made a mistake. It doesn’t change the fact that you are a good teacher and a great pilot,” he insisted.
“There’s almost fifty thousand people out there,” she protested. “You’re trying to tell me there’s not one flight instructor?”
“There’s two, besides you,” he admitted. “Civilians, both. I need someone to teach vipers and combat tactics. “
“What about my son?” she asked.
“I’ll arrange quarters for you both. I know he goes to school here, but there are daily shuttle runs and I can assign a marine to escort him if need be.” He paused, and fixed her with a look that allowed for no argument. “I need new pilots, and I need you to train them.”
Kara sighed. She’d known this moment was inevitable as soon as she’d found him on her doorstep. After all she’d taken from Bill Adama, she couldn’t refuse him a single thing. And, she rationalised, even if she couldn’t tell them the truth, he and Seb would get the chance to know one another.
She took a deep breath, and let it out again. “I can do that,” she agreed softly.
~ * ~
Forward to Chapter Three
Rating: PG, though it will probably go up later
Spoilers: Season 1, so far. Though this goes firmly AU before the mini.
Pairings: Kara/Lee, mentions of Kara/Zak
Summary: AU fic. What if Kara never served on the Galactica before the attacks? What if Lee made a mistake he couldn't fix? Maybe some things break for a reason. WIP.
Warnings: none that I can think of... maybe angst?
Author's Note: Grateful thanks to uberscribbler, cliosmuse and stardust_20 who looked this over for me and provided tons of helpful advice. However, I can never leave things alone and have kept tweaking after they checked - so if you find any errors, they are mine. If you've read this before on FF.N, you might still want to reread; I've changed a fair bit (though not plot.)
Back to Chapter One
~ * ~
Chapter Two
~ * ~
Kara rested her forehead against the hatch and tried to remember how to breathe. So Lee was alive, and now he knew everything.
When the Cylons had attacked and destroyed the Twelve Colonies, Kara had been more than relieved to know Bill Adama was in charge of the survivors. One of her biggest regrets was not telling him she was leaving. Truth was she’d known he would be able to talk her out of it, and she couldn’t bear to disappoint him by telling him the truth.
Immediately after the attacks, she’d thought about going to see him and letting him know she was alive. The ‘Old Man’ deserved to know he had a grandson, especially after losing both his sons.
She hadn’t known Lee had survived.
When she’d thought he was dead, she hadn’t known how to feel. She’d tried to hate him for his abandonment, but had given it up as futile. She couldn’t hate him when she saw him in Sebastian every day. She’d often wondered whether Lee ever thought about his potential child, but now she had no doubt he’d successfully managed to put the whole situation out of his mind. Same old Lee.
She would bet her last cigar he wouldn’t tell the old man the whole truth.
~ * ~
Later that evening, curled up on her lap as they watched the news broadcast, Seb finally got around to asking her about Lee.
“Mom, who was that man who was here earlier?”
And there it was. Not exactly how she’d expected the question of Lee to come up, but then she’d never thought Seb would actually get to meet his father. She smoothed her fingers through his hair as she debated what to tell him. “Someone I used to know before the end of the worlds,” she said finally.
“I’ve never seen him before.” He seemed to sense she was holding something back.
“The last time I saw him was before you were born.” Not the whole truth, by any means, but it was certainly enough for now.
“Oh.” He accepted that, brow creased in thought. “Why was he here?”
“Nosy today, aren’t you?” she teased. “He’s a pilot on the Galactica. Wanted me to go and teach people to fly vipers and help fight the Cylons.”
“And you said no? Why?”
“Well, we’d have to move to Galactica for starters. What about school?”
“I’ll join the fleet,” he decided. “You can teach me; I wanna fly vipers like you did.”
She shivered and tightened her arms around him protectively, thinking of Zak. “Not on your life, kiddo.”
“Aww Mom, please?” He twisted in her lap so that he could flash her the baby blues. Darn, she thought. Five years old and already he knows how to manipulate me.
“You’re much too young,” she chastised.
“When I’m older then?” And Lee’s dogged persistence, too.
“We’ll see.”
“We’ll see means no.” And there’s the pout.
“We’ll see means we’ll see,” she finished firmly. “Now, bedtime. You’ve got school in the morning.”
The pout became even more pronounced, if it was possible, but he dutifully stood up and started towards the bedroom.
“Hey,” she called him back. “Kiss?”
Without hesitation he came trotting back to her and kissed her cheek. “G’night Mom.”
“Night, baby. Sweet dreams.”
~ * ~
Six Years Earlier:
As the gods would have it, the day Bill Adama showed up on the doorstep of Kara’s apartment on Caprica was the same day she discovered she was pregnant.
He was precisely the last person she expected to see.
“Kara,” he greeted her, his expression unreadable.
She hadn’t seen him since she’d confessed her misconduct with regard to Zak’s final test. She’d seen how hurt he was by Lee’s anger and had wanted nothing more than to mend the rift between them. Lee had forgiven her and she had dared to think his father might too, but instead she had made things worse-Bill refused to see her, and Lee now hated his father on her behalf as well as Zak’s. If the results hadn’t been so disastrous, she would almost have been proud of such a monumental frak-up.
She bit her lip, unsure of what to expect from this meeting. “Sir,” she acknowledged, keeping her tone even.
“May I come in?” he asked her carefully.
She nodded and stood aside to let him pass. “Would you like a drink, sir?” she asked, motioning him to the couch as she stepped into the kitchenette.
“Yes, thank you.”
She couldn’t drink until she decided what to do about the baby, and the nausea she was still feeling made it inadvisable anyway. However, if she didn’t drink with him he would wonder why, so she also poured a glass of water for herself. Stepping back into the living area, she handed over his glass and took the seat opposite. There was an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes as Kara cradled her drink and avoided making eye contact.
“Have you thought about what you’ll do when your leave runs out?” he asked, finally.
She took a gulp from her glass and lied. “Not really.” She’d done nothing but think about it since she’d found out about the baby.
“I’d like to offer you a position on my ship.”
She had to replay the words in her head a few times before she could comprehend them. “You want me in your air group?” she asked, blinking.
“I need someone to give my birds a proper workout,” he joked. “And you need to get back in the cockpit.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I’m sorry about what I said,” he admitted. “You never meant for things to turn out the way they did.”
She didn’t know what to say to that. She looked away, throat suddenly tight and she wished it was ambrosia in her glass. She swallowed some anyway and managed to reply, “I’ll think about it.”
His eyes were sad and understanding, “That’s all I can ask, Kara.” He drained the rest of his glass and stood up. She did likewise, and stiffened as he took hold of her shoulders and pulled her into an awkward embrace. After a moment, she hugged him back, accepting the forgiveness he offered.
When he found out about the baby, he might not forgive her at all.
Two hours later, Lee called to say he had something to tell her, so she pulled on her jacket and headed over there.
She had something to tell him, too.
~ * ~
The normal morning chaos of getting Seb up and ready for school was interrupted by yet another visitor knocking on Kara’s hatch. She hoped it wasn’t Lee returning on some misguided mission to make amends.
“Go get your schoolbag, kiddo,” she ordered, figuring the more evidence that they were just on the way out the better for getting rid of unwanted visitors. Kara opened the hatch with a due sense of dread, but it wasn’t Lee who stood there.
Kara froze in surprise, though in hindsight she really should have expected this visit. “Sir?” she asked, suddenly not so sure that Lee hadn’t come clean with the old man.
“Kara.” He drew out her name and the sadness in his smile made it difficult for her to swallow. He didn’t seem angry at all. Frak. Anger she could deal with. Anger she was used to.
She saw his gaze shift and knew that Seb had appeared beside her.
She took a deep breath, “This is Sebastian.” Kara realised she was holding her son in front of her like a shield and let her hands drop from his shoulders. He didn’t seem to notice. Bill Adama smiled engagingly at Seb, but there was no particular recognition in his eyes, and Kara concluded that Lee hadn’t told him after all. She wasn’t sure if she was glad or sorry.
“Are you Commander Adama?” Seb asked, and Kara blinked in surprise.
“How did you know that?” she asked him.
Her son shrugged. “Well he’s wearing the same uniform that man yesterday was wearing. And I saw him on the news broadcasts saying that we were going to Earth.”
“That man yesterday was my son, Lee,” the old man interjected.
“Really? Mom, you never said he was the commander’s son.” Sebastian turned back to his mother, frowning reproachfully.
If she hadn’t been so unnerved by the whole exchange, Kara might have laughed. “It must have slipped my mind,” she apologised.
Mollified, Seb returned his attention to his grandfather. “So are you gonna order Mom to come and fly vipers for you?” He was clearly impressed that the Commander of the Fleet was visiting them personally.
“Given your Mom’s habit of disobeying orders when it suits her, I don’t think that would be the best course of action,” the old man joked. Seb looked affronted that anyone would accuse his mother of being insubordinate, even the commander.
“Seb,” Kara cut her son off before he could leap to her defence, “Did you put your toys away?”
Sebastian gulped. “Um, no. But I’ll do it right now!” and he darted back into his bedroom.
The old man laughed at the boy’s antics. “He’s definitely your son, Kara.”
Kara snorted. “Yeah, that I’m sure of. Though he’s definitely not the only boy his age who thinks vipers are the best thing ever.”
“Lee was exactly the same. Zak too, but then he always did everything Lee did.” He seemed to notice her pained look, and his smile faded. “You were on your way out,” he apologised.
“Yeah, I just have to take him to school.” She bit her lip. “If you can wait about ten minutes we can talk when I get back, sir?”
Bill Adama nodded. “I can do that, Kara. I have some time today.”
Biting her lip, she gestured towards the same chair Lee had perched on yesterday in all his deserved discomfort. “There’s a bottle of ambrosia and some glasses in the cabinet,” she told him, “Help yourself.” She turned to Seb, who had just returned, schoolbag in hand. “Time to go, kiddo.”
To her surprise, Sebastian gave the commander a salute and a grin. “It was nice to meet you, sir,” he said politely.
“Oh, the pleasure was all mine, Sebastian,” the old man replied, chuckling.
“I’ll be right back, sir,” Kara promised, and hustled her son towards the hatch.
~ * ~
When Kara returned, she found the commander still on his feet, studying the row of photo frames in her lounge area with a half full glass of ambrosia in his hand. When he heard the hatch clang shut he turned to her and smiled.
“I was just trying to get caught up on what I missed,” he admitted, indicating the pictures-most of which featured a grinning Seb. “He’s a fine boy. You must be proud of him, Kara.”
“I am, sir,” she replied, maternal pride momentarily winning out over apprehension.
There was a second glass of ambrosia on the table, and he handed it to her. “I had a feeling you might be needing one for yourself.”
“Thanks,” she told him, and took the seat opposite him.
He didn’t speak for a few moments, merely sat back in his chair and regarded her carefully. Kara wondered if he too was feeling the echoes of their last conversation.
“I seem to remember asking you to serve on my ship once before, Kara,” he said finally. “At least this time you actually gave me an answer.”
“I’m sorry, sir.” The liquid in her mouth seemed to stick in her throat when she swallowed. “I was pretty messed up back then.”
His eyes narrowed a little and she bit her lip in anticipation of his next question.
“How old is your boy?”
“Five years and four months,” she confessed, unable to meet his eyes.
“That’s why you left?” he asked.
The sympathetic tone of his voice led her to dare a glance at his face. His eyes held regret, but not the accusation she’d been expecting. “Yeah,” she admitted.
“I would have helped you, Kara.”
“He’s not Zak’s.” The words came out before she could stop them.
“I know,” he assured her. “I won’t lie to you. Part of me is disappointed, and I understand why you didn’t feel you could confide in me. But I want you to know that I wouldn’t have turned you away.”
She wanted to tell him the truth then and there and damn the consequences to Lee, but then she remembered something he’d said yesterday: ‘I’m talking to him now.’ She couldn’t do it. Knowing what Lee had done would drive another wedge between him and his father, and she couldn’t be responsible for that. Not again.
She would keep her secret.
Time to change the subject. “So you understand why I can’t come and fly vipers for you,” she said.
He sighed, and drained the rest of his glass. “The truth is, I really do need you, Kara. Maybe you heard on the broadcast news about the accident. We lost thirteen pilots. Three more are alive, but they won’t fly again. Another four are in sickbay for the foreseeable future. We’re sitting ducks until we can get our squadron numbers up.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think I could teach again, not after Zak.”
“You made a mistake. It doesn’t change the fact that you are a good teacher and a great pilot,” he insisted.
“There’s almost fifty thousand people out there,” she protested. “You’re trying to tell me there’s not one flight instructor?”
“There’s two, besides you,” he admitted. “Civilians, both. I need someone to teach vipers and combat tactics. “
“What about my son?” she asked.
“I’ll arrange quarters for you both. I know he goes to school here, but there are daily shuttle runs and I can assign a marine to escort him if need be.” He paused, and fixed her with a look that allowed for no argument. “I need new pilots, and I need you to train them.”
Kara sighed. She’d known this moment was inevitable as soon as she’d found him on her doorstep. After all she’d taken from Bill Adama, she couldn’t refuse him a single thing. And, she rationalised, even if she couldn’t tell them the truth, he and Seb would get the chance to know one another.
She took a deep breath, and let it out again. “I can do that,” she agreed softly.
~ * ~
Forward to Chapter Three