New Fic: Life Cycle, 2/2
Title: Life Cycle, Part Two: Elegy; and Life Cycle, Epilogue: Free Verse
Fandom: Doctor Who 2005
Characters: Ten/Rose.
Prompt: Sound the bugle now - play it just for me; As the seasons change - remember how I used to be. (“Sound the Bugle” - Bryan Adams)
Word Count: 1800 words, or thereabouts.
Rating: definite R, for the smut.
Summary: Everything ends. But there are always new beginnings, too.
Sequel/second part to Life Cycle, Part One: Sestina.
Author's Notes: Written for the 50lyricsfanfic challenge. Spoilers for ‘Father’s Day’, the 'Children in Need' mini episode, and ‘The Christmas Invasion’. This story is a sequel to Life Cycle, Part One: Sestina but it can be read as a standalone.
My Lyrics Table.
Part the Second: Elegy
Everything ends.
She’s seen the end of the Earth, the end of her father, and the end of the Daleks (she hopes, this time.) Now she’s seen the end of her Doctor.
Except it seems that it isn’t the end. There’s a grinning stranger in his place talking about Barcelona, and hopping, and saying he’s the Doctor now.
She feels confusion surrounding her like a fog. She doesn’t believe him, tells him to send the real Doctor back to her. He looks at her with sorrowful eyes and tells her he can’t. Somehow, the moment she realises he really is the Doctor is the worst.
He offers to take her home, and she’s honestly not sure that she doesn’t want to go. Go for good, even. She needs her Mum more than she has since Jimmy left her heartbroken and in debt, so she doesn’t say anything as he sets the coordinates.
He’s mad, though. He zips around pushing buttons and tweaking dials and the TARDIS shudders in protest. She finds something to hang on to and closes her eyes. They hit something, and she’s thrown to the ground; narrowly missing cracking her head open, so she decides it might be safer to stay there.
They screech to a stop eventually and she exhales in relief that she’s still in one piece. The Doctor seems unfazed and ignores her, darting through the door right away. She wants to stay where she is and cry. She wants to get out of this machine and run home to her mother and Mickey and familiarity. She takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm her stomach, and steps out just in time to see Mickey catching the Doctor as he collapses.
~ * ~
Rose had thought when she got home she’d be free to fall apart, but the Doctor needs taking care of and she’s the only one who has any idea what to do. Mickey helps her carry him upstairs to a bed, and Jackie insists they get him into a nice comfy pair of pyjamas she just happens to have lying around.
It isn’t easy. She’s undressing a stranger-his mind might be the same, but his body is different and she feels like a voyeur. This isn’t the skin she has touched and kissed and loved. Her Doctor is gone, yet not gone, and she has no idea where she stands. Where she even wants to be standing.
~ * ~
He keeps his distance, at first. She is confused and hurting, and he knows she needs space. He tries to show her that he is still the same Doctor, but the trouble is, he’s not really sure he is the same. He remembers loving her; still loves her, in fact, but humans are funny beings, and he doesn’t know if she’ll still love this new, different him.
He wants to ask her if she’s told Mickey about “them”, but it just reminds him that they aren’t a “them” anymore. And that they might never be again.
When he looks at her, he remembers her skin, her mouth, the soft little sighs she made in his bed, and the way she would nibble on his earlobe just because she knew it would make him squirm in ticklish convulsions.
He wonders if this new body has ticklish earlobes.
~ * ~
As time passes she grows to love him again in spite of herself. It feels like a betrayal. Her Doctor is gone, and here she is, barely six months later, eyeing up his replacement.
She wonders sometimes if her Doctor is still inside there somewhere. If she looks for him, will she see him, underneath the new skin? His hand still reaches for hers when he tells her to run, but it is a different hand and a different voice.
Sometimes she catches him watching her with a longing expression on his face, and she wants him to pull her close and make her believe that nothing has changed. But everything has.
And she still doesn’t understand.
~ * ~
Epilogue: Free Verse
She screws up her courage one afternoon and asks him the question that’s been on her mind for months. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He frowns. “Tell you what?”
“That you might… you know. Change.”
He takes a big gulp of his tea and sets the mug down on the table. “I didn’t think about it.”
She gapes. “You didn’t think about it? What if I hadn’t seen it happen, Doctor? How would I know that it’s you?”
He was so calm she wanted to scream at him. “Then I would have had to convince you.”
“Did you think it would be that easy, then? Did you think I wouldn’t go mad looking for you? D’you think I wouldn’t assume you’d been abducted by aliens or something?”
“I am an alien, Rose.” Still calm.
“I know. But sometimes I forget.”
He looks at her thoughtfully. “Do you try to forget, I wonder?” He cuts off her protest, “I didn’t tell you I have two hearts, either. It’s just me, it’s who I am. It didn’t occur to me, I’m sorry.”
She looks away, unable to meet his eyes. “How could you do it?” she asks softly. “How could you leave me?”
“Rose, how could I not? You would have died. I had to change, but I’m still here. I’m still me. And I still love you.” He tilts her head up to look at him. “Can you still love me in this body?”
“It’s hard to get past,” she tells him hesitantly. “You tell me you’re the same, and you remember the same things, but you’re different. I thought I knew you inside and out.”
He brushes her cheek with his thumb and stares at her intently. “The part of me that loves you is still the same, Rose. Never doubt that.” She’s almost convinced, so he pushes her one iota more. “Come on,” he teases. “I’m all yours. You can explore me all over again. Undiscovered country, and all that.”
She can’t help the shy smile on her lips, but she tries to regard him seriously. “Well, let's see,” she says, circling him. “Two legs, two arms, two hands. One head…” she trails off.
He stands calmly as she inspects him. “Thankfully. What else?”
“You’re a bit thinner,” she observes, running her hands over his chest and stomach. “Have to get used to that.”
“You will,” he assures her.
She steps closer, and he shivers. “You’ve got more hair.” She stands on tiptoes and feathers her fingers through it.
“Don’t forget the sideburns, Rose.”
She giggles, stroking them with her thumbs. “Yes, the sideburns. I like the sideburns.”
“Oh that’s good, because I was worri-“ His words are cut off as she stands on tiptoe to capture his mouth. “Mmm. New teeth,” she remarks thoughtfully, having thoroughly explored them with her tongue. “That’s weird.”
He grins coyly. “D’you want to see my mole?”
She bites her lip; either she’s suddenly shy, or she’s teasing him. “Where is it again?”
Definitely teasing him. He raises an eyebrow at her. “Now that would be telling, wouldn’t it? You’ll have to look for it.”
She eyes him carefully up and down, and her tongue just reaches out to moisten her lower lip as she pretends to consider him. “Start with the tie,” he suggests, and her fingers slide around and caress the knot. Another beat, and she tugs on it, pulling his head back down to her mouth again as she works on getting that knot undone.
Several buttons later, tie gone and breathless from kissing, he suggests they might want to head in the direction of the nearest bedroom. Rose agrees. By the time they get to the bed, he has decided it’s a good thing he did leave Jack behind on Satellite 5. Explaining why he’s stumbling backwards along a corridor with his shirt untucked and his mouth full of Rose would really damage the mood.
He’ll have to go back and collect his shoes later.
She drags his trousers off, and he decides he doesn’t care a fig where his shoes are after all, because Rose is comparing him again.
“Well, what d’you think?” he asks. He’s trying not to sound nervous, but he thinks he might not quite have managed it.
“Different.”
“It does the same job, Rose.”
“Does it?” she teased. “I’ll have to test that theory.”
“I think it’s bigger, what do you think?”
She considers, but shakes her head. “No, I don’t think so. About the same.”
“Blimey, you know how to flatter a man, don’t you?”
“But you’re not a man, you’re an alien.”
“Close enough,” he mutters, and decides he’s had enough foreplay. He remembers what makes her squirm-her body hasn’t changed, after all.
Strangely enough, he’s never felt this giddy about it all before. She’s wonderfully familiar and tantalisingly new at the same time; he wonders if it feels the same to her.
She draws him inside her with slow breath and serious eyes, and he stops grinning like an idiot and instead focuses on breathing in and out. In and out. Inhale. Exhale. She rises to meet him, whispering something in his ear, and he can’t quite make it out at first. But then he does, and it’s his name, so he answers in kind. Rose, Rose, Rose.
Rose.
She exhales heavily, and he feels her shudder deliciously and then relax. He’s not far behind, and he just manages to roll sideways before he loses all muscle control.
It takes almost a minute for him to catch his breath. “So what d’you think?” he asks cheekily. “Different? Same? Worse? Better?”
She settles her head into the crook of his shoulder, chuckling. “Doesn’t matter,” she declares. “Still you.”
“Yes,” he breathes. “Still me.”
“Promise you won’t change again,” she insists, her eyes still a little sad as she tilts her face up to him.
He sighs, and his thumb touches her lips and her cheek before tucking a stray wisp of hair behind her ear. “I can’t promise that, Rose. But I’m here now, and I’m not planning on dying again anytime soon if I can help it.”
He knows she’d like more assurance than that, but he won’t give it. And in a way, she respects that he refuses to make a promise he may not be able to keep. The future stretches ahead, unknown as it always is; nothing certain, anything possible.
Everything ends. But there are always new beginnings, too.
Oh, and his earlobes do turn out to be ticklish after all.
~ * ~
Fandom: Doctor Who 2005
Characters: Ten/Rose.
Prompt: Sound the bugle now - play it just for me; As the seasons change - remember how I used to be. (“Sound the Bugle” - Bryan Adams)
Word Count: 1800 words, or thereabouts.
Rating: definite R, for the smut.
Summary: Everything ends. But there are always new beginnings, too.
Sequel/second part to Life Cycle, Part One: Sestina.
Author's Notes: Written for the 50lyricsfanfic challenge. Spoilers for ‘Father’s Day’, the 'Children in Need' mini episode, and ‘The Christmas Invasion’. This story is a sequel to Life Cycle, Part One: Sestina but it can be read as a standalone.
My Lyrics Table.
Part the Second: Elegy
Everything ends.
She’s seen the end of the Earth, the end of her father, and the end of the Daleks (she hopes, this time.) Now she’s seen the end of her Doctor.
Except it seems that it isn’t the end. There’s a grinning stranger in his place talking about Barcelona, and hopping, and saying he’s the Doctor now.
She feels confusion surrounding her like a fog. She doesn’t believe him, tells him to send the real Doctor back to her. He looks at her with sorrowful eyes and tells her he can’t. Somehow, the moment she realises he really is the Doctor is the worst.
He offers to take her home, and she’s honestly not sure that she doesn’t want to go. Go for good, even. She needs her Mum more than she has since Jimmy left her heartbroken and in debt, so she doesn’t say anything as he sets the coordinates.
He’s mad, though. He zips around pushing buttons and tweaking dials and the TARDIS shudders in protest. She finds something to hang on to and closes her eyes. They hit something, and she’s thrown to the ground; narrowly missing cracking her head open, so she decides it might be safer to stay there.
They screech to a stop eventually and she exhales in relief that she’s still in one piece. The Doctor seems unfazed and ignores her, darting through the door right away. She wants to stay where she is and cry. She wants to get out of this machine and run home to her mother and Mickey and familiarity. She takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm her stomach, and steps out just in time to see Mickey catching the Doctor as he collapses.
~ * ~
Rose had thought when she got home she’d be free to fall apart, but the Doctor needs taking care of and she’s the only one who has any idea what to do. Mickey helps her carry him upstairs to a bed, and Jackie insists they get him into a nice comfy pair of pyjamas she just happens to have lying around.
It isn’t easy. She’s undressing a stranger-his mind might be the same, but his body is different and she feels like a voyeur. This isn’t the skin she has touched and kissed and loved. Her Doctor is gone, yet not gone, and she has no idea where she stands. Where she even wants to be standing.
~ * ~
He keeps his distance, at first. She is confused and hurting, and he knows she needs space. He tries to show her that he is still the same Doctor, but the trouble is, he’s not really sure he is the same. He remembers loving her; still loves her, in fact, but humans are funny beings, and he doesn’t know if she’ll still love this new, different him.
He wants to ask her if she’s told Mickey about “them”, but it just reminds him that they aren’t a “them” anymore. And that they might never be again.
When he looks at her, he remembers her skin, her mouth, the soft little sighs she made in his bed, and the way she would nibble on his earlobe just because she knew it would make him squirm in ticklish convulsions.
He wonders if this new body has ticklish earlobes.
~ * ~
As time passes she grows to love him again in spite of herself. It feels like a betrayal. Her Doctor is gone, and here she is, barely six months later, eyeing up his replacement.
She wonders sometimes if her Doctor is still inside there somewhere. If she looks for him, will she see him, underneath the new skin? His hand still reaches for hers when he tells her to run, but it is a different hand and a different voice.
Sometimes she catches him watching her with a longing expression on his face, and she wants him to pull her close and make her believe that nothing has changed. But everything has.
And she still doesn’t understand.
~ * ~
Epilogue: Free Verse
She screws up her courage one afternoon and asks him the question that’s been on her mind for months. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He frowns. “Tell you what?”
“That you might… you know. Change.”
He takes a big gulp of his tea and sets the mug down on the table. “I didn’t think about it.”
She gapes. “You didn’t think about it? What if I hadn’t seen it happen, Doctor? How would I know that it’s you?”
He was so calm she wanted to scream at him. “Then I would have had to convince you.”
“Did you think it would be that easy, then? Did you think I wouldn’t go mad looking for you? D’you think I wouldn’t assume you’d been abducted by aliens or something?”
“I am an alien, Rose.” Still calm.
“I know. But sometimes I forget.”
He looks at her thoughtfully. “Do you try to forget, I wonder?” He cuts off her protest, “I didn’t tell you I have two hearts, either. It’s just me, it’s who I am. It didn’t occur to me, I’m sorry.”
She looks away, unable to meet his eyes. “How could you do it?” she asks softly. “How could you leave me?”
“Rose, how could I not? You would have died. I had to change, but I’m still here. I’m still me. And I still love you.” He tilts her head up to look at him. “Can you still love me in this body?”
“It’s hard to get past,” she tells him hesitantly. “You tell me you’re the same, and you remember the same things, but you’re different. I thought I knew you inside and out.”
He brushes her cheek with his thumb and stares at her intently. “The part of me that loves you is still the same, Rose. Never doubt that.” She’s almost convinced, so he pushes her one iota more. “Come on,” he teases. “I’m all yours. You can explore me all over again. Undiscovered country, and all that.”
She can’t help the shy smile on her lips, but she tries to regard him seriously. “Well, let's see,” she says, circling him. “Two legs, two arms, two hands. One head…” she trails off.
He stands calmly as she inspects him. “Thankfully. What else?”
“You’re a bit thinner,” she observes, running her hands over his chest and stomach. “Have to get used to that.”
“You will,” he assures her.
She steps closer, and he shivers. “You’ve got more hair.” She stands on tiptoes and feathers her fingers through it.
“Don’t forget the sideburns, Rose.”
She giggles, stroking them with her thumbs. “Yes, the sideburns. I like the sideburns.”
“Oh that’s good, because I was worri-“ His words are cut off as she stands on tiptoe to capture his mouth. “Mmm. New teeth,” she remarks thoughtfully, having thoroughly explored them with her tongue. “That’s weird.”
He grins coyly. “D’you want to see my mole?”
She bites her lip; either she’s suddenly shy, or she’s teasing him. “Where is it again?”
Definitely teasing him. He raises an eyebrow at her. “Now that would be telling, wouldn’t it? You’ll have to look for it.”
She eyes him carefully up and down, and her tongue just reaches out to moisten her lower lip as she pretends to consider him. “Start with the tie,” he suggests, and her fingers slide around and caress the knot. Another beat, and she tugs on it, pulling his head back down to her mouth again as she works on getting that knot undone.
Several buttons later, tie gone and breathless from kissing, he suggests they might want to head in the direction of the nearest bedroom. Rose agrees. By the time they get to the bed, he has decided it’s a good thing he did leave Jack behind on Satellite 5. Explaining why he’s stumbling backwards along a corridor with his shirt untucked and his mouth full of Rose would really damage the mood.
He’ll have to go back and collect his shoes later.
She drags his trousers off, and he decides he doesn’t care a fig where his shoes are after all, because Rose is comparing him again.
“Well, what d’you think?” he asks. He’s trying not to sound nervous, but he thinks he might not quite have managed it.
“Different.”
“It does the same job, Rose.”
“Does it?” she teased. “I’ll have to test that theory.”
“I think it’s bigger, what do you think?”
She considers, but shakes her head. “No, I don’t think so. About the same.”
“Blimey, you know how to flatter a man, don’t you?”
“But you’re not a man, you’re an alien.”
“Close enough,” he mutters, and decides he’s had enough foreplay. He remembers what makes her squirm-her body hasn’t changed, after all.
Strangely enough, he’s never felt this giddy about it all before. She’s wonderfully familiar and tantalisingly new at the same time; he wonders if it feels the same to her.
She draws him inside her with slow breath and serious eyes, and he stops grinning like an idiot and instead focuses on breathing in and out. In and out. Inhale. Exhale. She rises to meet him, whispering something in his ear, and he can’t quite make it out at first. But then he does, and it’s his name, so he answers in kind. Rose, Rose, Rose.
Rose.
She exhales heavily, and he feels her shudder deliciously and then relax. He’s not far behind, and he just manages to roll sideways before he loses all muscle control.
It takes almost a minute for him to catch his breath. “So what d’you think?” he asks cheekily. “Different? Same? Worse? Better?”
She settles her head into the crook of his shoulder, chuckling. “Doesn’t matter,” she declares. “Still you.”
“Yes,” he breathes. “Still me.”
“Promise you won’t change again,” she insists, her eyes still a little sad as she tilts her face up to him.
He sighs, and his thumb touches her lips and her cheek before tucking a stray wisp of hair behind her ear. “I can’t promise that, Rose. But I’m here now, and I’m not planning on dying again anytime soon if I can help it.”
He knows she’d like more assurance than that, but he won’t give it. And in a way, she respects that he refuses to make a promise he may not be able to keep. The future stretches ahead, unknown as it always is; nothing certain, anything possible.
Everything ends. But there are always new beginnings, too.
Oh, and his earlobes do turn out to be ticklish after all.
~ * ~