What I Need to Set Me Free - Part Five
“Danny?” Steve knocks on the frame of the open bedroom door and waits, not sure of his welcome.
“Oh thank god, Steve. Get in here already and help me get her to drink something.”
Steve enters and sees that Danny is struggling to support Grace’s torso while holding a cup to her mouth. The delirious girl keeps pulling her lips away. Steve slides in on the other side of the bed and wedges the pillow down behind Grace’s back so he can use his arms to gently hold her head still.
“Grace, honey. You have to drink something, okay? I know it probably hurts to swallow right now but it’s really important. You need to drink three sips for us, okay?”
Grace nods feebly, showing that at least she understands whether or not she wants to comply. She allows Danny to hold the cup to her mouth again and this time, partly because Steve’s gentle pressure won’t allow it, she doesn’t pull away. She takes a few small sips and Steve nods to Danny that that’s enough for now.
“You did great, Monkey,” Danny puts the cup aside and brushes, or more wipes, the wet hair from her forehead. “I’m just gonna be over here by the window, talking with Steve okay?”
“So, what do we do now?” Danny asks in hushed tones.
“Well, Dr. Waincroft is due back later this afternoon,” Steve begins.
“But?”
“I didn’t say but.”
“You face said but, Steven. What are you thinking?”
“Well, she could be hours. I’ve had extensive triage and medical training and if you will allow me to conduct an examination, you will stay with us the entire time of course…”
“Yes, yes that is a good idea. Stay with you, seriously? 1. As if I am leaving her at all right now and 2. If I were to need to leave her, there isn’t anyone I would feel safer leaving her with. You idiot.”
“Um. Thanks?” Steve makes a mental list of what he needs. “Where’s the first aid kit?”
* * *
Twenty minutes later, Steve and Danny are applying tepid compresses to Grace’s pulse points to try and bring her temperature down. Steve carefully details the time on a little notepad which he places on the bedside table.
“What’s that for?” Danny asks as he dips the washcloth in the bowl. Grace is so warm that the compresses are heating up at an alarming rate.
“I’m noting the time, her temperature and the dosage of aspirin we just gave her. Ideally I want her temperature to drop by at least half a degree in the next forty minutes or so. I’m writing it because it’s going to be a long day and we don’t want to be guessing when her last dose of something was.”
“I wouldn’t have thought of doing that,” Danny wrings out the cloth and gently wipes Grace’s face.
“Hey, it’s gonna be okay, Danny.” Steve puts the pencil down and turns so he can wrap his arms around Danny’s waist. “She’s got a fever and an acutely infected throat. From what I can see, there are no other signs that would suggest anything other than a serious cold.”
“Other things? Such as?”
“Not going there, Danny.” Steve says firmly. “We’re focussing on what we’ve got, not inventing trouble we don’t have.”
“I just hear stories from the soldiers of some of the things they’ve seen, over there, and… What if Grace’s caught something because she came here to visit me?”
“Hey, look at me, Danny.” Steve turns the other man so he is facing him and braces his hands firmly on his shoulders. “Grace is an amazing kid because you’ve taught her what it means to care about someone other than herself. This war makes it so easy to worry about yourself and what you need and what you can get, but Grace comes here willingly and spends time with patients when she could be playing with her friends.”
“But…”
“I’m not finished, Danny.”
Danny sighs stubbornly and motions for Steve to continue.
“When patients are admitted to hospital, a full screen for scarlet, dengue and yellow fever and malaria are conducted. Even unconscious ones.” He shows Danny the small bruise on the inside of his own elbow where his blood would have been drawn several days prior. “The men here would be clear from those things and you don’t just randomly get sick weeks after without a new exposure. Grace has a cold.”
“Okay,” Danny sighs. “I believe you.”
“There is one thing I wanted to ask you though,” Steve looks at Grace with a slight frown.
“What?”
“Well. If her fever doesn’t improve after two more doses of aspirin, in 6-8 hours, would you permit me to administer quinine? I have it in my pack.”
“But that’s for Malaria, and you just said she wouldn’t have that!” Danny pushes Steve away angrily and turns back to Grace.
“It also reduces fever, Danny. It’s been used by South American tribes people for hundreds and hundreds of years. Before anyone even knew what Malaria was. If the aspirin doesn’t help, the quinine might.”
“Yeah.” Danny deflates and slumps back onto Steve who he knows is standing close behind him. “I trust you. I’m just so worried, Steve.”
“I know, Danno,” Steve sooths as he brings his arms back up around Danny’s waist. “I know.”
* * *
Steve leans against the doorframe, just watching Danny and Grace.
“Stop lurking,” Danny says quietly.
With a soft chuckle, Steve approaches the bed, reaching out his hand to feel Grace’s forehead.
“The curtains are all closed and Kamekona’s going to send up a plate of food.”
“Thanks.”
“Danny? It’s been almost seven hours.” Steve doesn’t think he really needs to tell Danny this, that they’ve both been counting the passing minutes, hoping for Grace to show a sign of turning for the better.
“Yeah. I know,” Danny sighs heavily. “You know what you’re doing, right? I mean, she’s not a 180lb sailor.”
Steve nods solemnly. “I know the dosage for all weights. I promise, Danny, this is not the first time I’ve given quinine to a child.”
“Okay then,” Danny nods slowly. “What do we need?”
Steve picks up the glass of water from Grace’s bedside table. “Can you freshen this up while I measure out the dosage? We can mix it into a few sips of water so she gets some hydration at the same time.”
A few minutes later, the task complete, Danny and Steve sit on opposite sides of the bed, each lost in thought.
“What now?” Danny asks timidly.
“Now, we wait.”
* * *
Danny looks around the room, startled from his shallow sleep by a thump somewhere in the house. It’s dark and otherwise quiet. His neck is stiff and sore from sleeping on a chair, hunched over to rest his forearms and head on the bed. He looks at Grace, her chest rising and falling regularly is more soothing than Danny can describe.
“Hey, Danno?” Steve calls out quietly from the landing. “Can you help me for a minute?”
“I’ll be right back, baby,” Danny whispers to Grace, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek before heading out to Steve. He stops when he sees the assortment of canvas and wood in Steve’s arms.
“That explains the crash.”
“Uh, yeah,” Steve looks back down the staircase sheepishly. “I dropped a leg.” He thrusts the bundle of cot parts at Danny. “Hold this,” he says before scurrying silently down to the bend in the stairs where the wayward leg stopped against the wall.
“Why are you rearranging furniture in the middle of the night?” Danny asks even as he heads into Grace’s room with the pieces of the cot. He knows full well what Steve’s plan is and he is already preparing his refusal.
“I slept from 2300 until 0300. Now it is your turn.” Steve begins assembling the cot with such focus that Danny almost wishes he had a stopwatch to time the man. It’s clearly not the first time he’s done it. Danny also suspects the speed and focus is an attempt to ward off the impending argument.
“Let me make this easy for you, Steve. While she is sick, do not expect me to move more than two feet from Grace unless it is to get something she needs or to use the bathroom.”
Steve lifts his foot and slides the now assembled cot along the floor so it is touching the edge of the bed. “Do you want me to get a tape measure? Next.”
Danny scowls. “What if she needs something and I’m so deep asleep that I don’t hear her? She’s my baby, Steve. I’m not sleeping.”
“What if she needs something tomorrow and you’re so exhausted you are of no help whatsoever? You seem to have missed the part where I said it’s your turn. I will be right here,” Steve plonks himself in the chair recently vacated by Danny, “And will make sure Grace gets water and any medication she needs while you sleep. For at least four hours.”
“I don’t know, Steve.”
Steve sighs. He’d hoped it wouldn’t come to this but he knows that Danny is exhausted and afraid. He stands and pulls Danny into a hug and is heartened when the other man hugs him back, slouching to rest his weight against Steve’s chest. “Did you mean what you said about trying to make a life together after all this is over?” Steve asks. He feels Danny nod against his chest. “That would make us family, Danny. In Hawaii, we call it ohana.”
“Ohana,” Danny whispers, trying the unfamiliar word on his tongue.
“It is more than family, it is a way of being with the people you make part of your life. You care for one another. Let me be your ohana, Danny. Let me care of you and of Grace tonight.”
He feels Danny nod again and releases him from his hold. Danny looks up, his eyes bright with tears and he slides his hands up Steve’s back so they are behind his shoulders, his arms hooked under Steve’s. “Thankyou,” he whispers, tugging down so Steve bends. Danny presses a gentle kiss to Steve’s mouth, breathing in the comfort the other man is offering. “I don’t know what we would do if you weren’t here.”
Steve returns the kiss for a few moments, placing one final kiss on Danny’s lips before easing back. “Okay, enough of that. You need to sleep and I have work to do.”
Danny holds back the urge to mock salute his partner, instead he nods and gathers the discarded bedding from the floor, plumping and arranging until the cot is somewhat comfortable. He lies down, facing Steve and Grace. Steve settles into the chair and watches until he can see Danny’s eyes start to droop closed. He knows he probably won’t sleep deeply tonight but any rest he can get will make him better for it in the morning. And that, Steve thinks to himself, will be a good thing. He doesn’t think Grace is going to get any better overnight.
* * *
Danny wakes up, again roused by a peripheral noise. At first he’s disoriented but he is quickly on his feet when he sees Steve is no longer in the chair and Grace is gone from the bed.
“Steve,” he shouts, turning on the spot.
“In here,” comes Steve’s muffled reply and its then that Danny realises the noise that woke him is running water.
He pushes open the bathroom door and is hit with a wall of steam. He can barely see to the other side of the room where Steve is huddled on the edge of the tub, the shower running full blast behind him. Grace is curled up on his lap and he is rocking them back and forth. Steve’s face is covered with a sheen of sweat and his shirt is sticking to him.
“What the hell, Steve?” Danny asks angrily. Grace groans and coughs violently into Steve’s shirt.
“Shut the door, you’re letting the steam out,” Steve snaps. “And you’re scaring Grace.”
“Don’t tell me how to be with my own daughter, Steven,” Danny at least kicks the door closed behind him before moving to crouch in front of Steve for some answers.
“No.” Steve stops him. “Your knee. Just…” he looks around the room. “Sit on the toilet, I’ll pass you Grace, okay?”
Danny complies, anything where he gets to hold his baby girl in his arms is a good plan by him, and Steve gently transfers Grace to him.
“She stirred and it was almost time for more medication so I was giving her a few sips of water when she started to cough,” Steve explains, slumping forward so he can easily watch Grace’s breathing. “I was surprised you didn’t wake instantly but after a few deep breaths, she coughed up a lump which was green. She started wheezing and I just brought her in here as fast as I could.”
As he explains, Steve can see Danny visibly calming and he takes up the rocking motion Steve had been doing moments earlier.
“She’s breathing easier now,” Steve continues. “The steam will help loosen whatever she’s got in her chest. But I think it’s developing into an infection, Danny.”
At the word infection, Danny stops rocking and lifts his head to look at Steve’s face. His eyes are wide and fearful and he shakes head. “No, no, Steve. It’s a cold. You said it was a cold.”
“This happens sometimes, if whatever is going on in her upper respiratory system works its way further down and into the airways and lungs. I’ve had men with these symptoms after inhaling seawater. Some simple sulphide anti-bacterials will start to clear it up. They’re a standard issue part of my kit. Now that you’ve got her, I will bring in my bag, okay Danno?” He stands and starts to move to the door.
“No, Steve. You don’t understand.” Danny sounds terrified and Steve stops, his hand on the doorknob, and turns back to face him, the steam drifting lazily around him as the air moves through the space.
“What, Danny?”
“Grace is allergic to sulphur, Steve. She can’t have any of that stuff or her airways will swell up and she will stop breathing. She almost died when she was three and had tonsillitis. The doctors gave her an injection and…” He can’t find the words to finish.
“Oh.” Steve sinks down to the floor, his back against the wall and his mind racing to find another solution. Grace coughs again, her entire body shaking with the force of it. After twenty minutes where Grace barks more than not, they both feel helpless. Steve has medicine that will make Grace sicker than she is and right now, all Danny can do is rub circles on her heaving back while they coax her through each bout with gentle words.
After an hour, the hot water suddenly runs out. Steve squeezes Danny’s hand and leaves the room, shutting the door quickly behind himself to keep the precious steam in. By now, the entire household is roused from Grace’s constant coughing and everyone is concerned.
“Stevie, what can we do?” Kamekona asks, the patients gathered around him in the main room, not even bothering to try and look busy as they listen to the little girl’s struggle.
“Boil water,” Steve instructs. “As much as you can. Every pot and kettle that we own. Grace has a chest infection but she can’t take any of the antibiotics we can get for her. She needs steam to loosen and clear her chest. Also, Danny will need something to eat. He’s still sick too and he’s exhausted. Not that he will admit it.”
“You don’t look much better, brah,” Kamekona eyes Steve critically.
“I’m fine. Just, please get some water on and call me when it’s ready so I can get it.”
“Commander, Sir. We will bring the water to you when it’s ready,” one of the patients says. “We want to help Grace.”
Steve nods. “Thank you.” He hurries back up the stairs.
By the time the sun is starting to rise, Grace’s breathing has eased some but she is still regularly coughing up phlegm of a concerning colour. Her fever is a little lower but not enough that Steve is happy with her progress.
“I just don’t know what else to do, Danny,” he admits. “The hot water system will probably be filled again in an hour or so but I think now that she is breathing a little easier, we should let her try and sleep.”
Danny nods feebly. When the hot water had run out, he’d moved from the toilet to the floor beside the tub so that he could sit under a towel with Grace and a bowl of steaming water. Steve sat beside him and when the heat got too much for Danny, Steve would take over until Danny was cooled enough to go under again. Now, he’s so exhausted that the only thing keeping him going is adrenaline and concern for his daughter. “I think you’re right,” he agrees. He moves to stand but Steve stops him with a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Let me, Danno,” he says as he takes Grace from Danny’s arms and stands. “I’ll get her settled on the bed and then come and help you up, okay?”
Danny nods. He’s so far beyond denying he has any chance of getting himself off the floor. His knee is all but locked up and he’s glad for Steve’s thoughtfulness. When Steve returns a couple of minutes later, he is holding Grace’s sweat-soaked cotton nightgown and is carrying two clean sets of t-shirts and shorts.
“I put Grace in one of my undershirts. I hope that’s okay.”
Danny nods.
“And I brought you these.” He holds up the clean clothes. Kame was coming in with a hot bowl as I was tucking Grace in. He offered to sit with her for a few minutes while we freshen up a little.”
“Steve, I don’t know that that’s a good idea.” Danny protests.
“Because you don’t want to leave her alone or because you’re worried about what people will think?” Steve beds forward and hooks his forearms under Danny’s underarms so he can help him up.
“Both,” Danny admits. “I’m not ashamed, Steve. But there is such a thing as being discreet.”
“I know, Danny. Believe me. But Kame is family. I’ve known him since I was a kid and I trust him. And besides, I already told him you were stuck on the floor and there is no way you can stand on your own right now. So arms up, Detective and let’s get you out of these clothes.”
After a little awkward balancing and one near fall when Danny ill-advisedly tries to grab hold of the shower curtain, they manage to get themselves into the shower and Steve turns the water on to a refreshing temperature. He uses only a little of the precious hot water. They don’t linger as they efficiently wash away the grime of the night, but with Steve supporting most of Danny’s weight and washing his feet and legs for him so he can hold the wall for balance, it is one of the most intimate five minutes either of them has spent. It’s not the act of scrubbing itself but the care and attention behind it that serves to bring the two men closer together than all the other stolen moments they’ve shared so far.
Steve turns the water off and kisses Danny softly, not wanting to start anything but just wanting the contact.
“I don’t think I actually said it the other night, but I love you, Steve.” Danny admits as they climb carefully out of the tub.
Steve wraps them each in a dry towel and then pulls Danny to him. “I know you do, Danno.” He kisses the wet hair on top of his head. “I love you too. And Grace. She’s going to pull through this. You’ll see.”
(On to Part Six)