Why Can't This Crazy Love Be Mine? (2/2)
[Part One]
* * *
"You look like crap, brah," Kono frowns at Danny as he drags himself into HQ the next the morning.
"That's just what a girl likes to hear," he scowls back. He manages to keep 'fuck you’ in his head which is a very good thing considering how dangerous Kono can be when she gets going.
"Is Grace sick? Did she keep you up last night? You could have stayed home, Steve would understand."
"What? No. Grace is fine. It's... Forget it, please, Kono? You wouldn't..." Danny stops. "Actually, maybe you can understand. Come into my office, if you will, and I might even share my donuts with you."
"Colour me intrigued," the rookie grins. "Lead the way."
She perches on the arm of Danny's couch and waits for him to store his weapon in the drawer. "So... Family issue, relationship issue, daughter issue or..." she glances through the glass wall towards Steve's office, "or Bossman issue?"
"All of the fucking above," Danny sighs.
"Oh boy."
"Steve met a woman at a bar, no surprise there I guess. What is surprising is my sister, Libby, coming to Hawaii to surprise me and Grace and..." He can't get the words out.
"She is also the woman at the bar?" Kono prompts.
Danny nods. "Yeah. I mean, I can't blame him, objectively speaking, my sister is beautiful. Long bonde hair, blue eyes, funny and smart. Everything he described her as. But..."
Kono nods thoughtfully. "It's weird, right?"
"Yeah. And I... Yelled," he admits.
"Oh."
"He took Grace with him to cancel his date with my sister, who he didn't know was my sister but..."
"You might have overreacted?"
"Yeah."
"You were up all night thinking about this, weren't you, Danny?"
"Yeah. I mean, Libby's only here for a couple of weeks so... What does it matter, y'know? And I know that Steve wouldn't really ever take Grace along on a date. But I accused him of this and then," Danny looks guiltily at Steve's office, "He basically said if I don't trust him with Grace, then there's no point us being friends."
"Oh. Ouch, Danny.”
“I know. I just started saying all these things.”
“There’s a shocker. And you haven't spoken to him this morning?"
Danny shakes his head. "No. I don't know where to begin."
"An apology would be good, Danny."
He sighs. "Yeah, I know. I'm an asshole."
"No. You're confused. And I don't know what I can say to help you other than that you need to work out why you reacted the way you did. And believe me, I know family entanglements. You've seen how many of us there are, you can’t turn around sideways without having someone all up in your business and passing word back to one of the Aunties. You’re not used to that here, your Hawaiian life has crashed head on into your old life.”
“How’d you get to be so smart?”
Kono shrugs. “You choose you battles, Danny. You decide who you’re gonna stick with and you keep them close.”
“Taking Chin’s side cost you.”
“It did,” she nods. “But I had faith in him. I know him. Just like you know that Steve's a good guy, I assume you'd consider him good enough for you sister. If they really hit it off, if she decides to stay longer, or even move here, would having him for a brother in law be the worst thing in the world?." Kono draws her friend into a tight hug. "Just think about it before you try and talk to him again, okay? Don't let your mouth get the better of your common sense. Again."
Danny watches her go back to her own office and is slightly in awe of the wisdom she has, despite her age. He knows that she's right. He decides that he will apologise to Steve, but that he needs some time to wrap his head around his best friend dating his sister. Which he technically has no say over, they're both adults free to do whatever they... okay, so not going there. But if they want to see each other while Libby is here, he doesn't want them sneaking around the island, so basically, he supposes, he should go and give Steve his blessing. Or whatever.
And he also needs to have a long, honest chat with himself about why the words ‘Steve’ and ‘brother in law’ make him want to lose his malasada into the trash can. Not that he's going to be admitting that last part to anyone, especially Kono.
* * *
The dreaded conversation gets put off when their BOLO on the 300lb drug dealer's not-so-bright partner finally gets answered. He caves quickly under Steve's irritated glare and Chin and Kono take him to HPD for booking.
Danny catches Steve just as the SEAL is trying to sneak out of his office. Which should set alarm bells ringing for Danny, because since when does Steve ever take the non-confrontational option, but he's too worked up and he has to do this now.
"Look, Steve. About last night."
Steve snorts. "Don't call me, I'll call you."
"No, hey, look. I know I overreacted, okay? And I'm sorry I gave you the impression that I don't trust you with Grace."
"Said. You said..."
"I didn't say that,” he holds up his hand to stop Steve’s retort, “But I concede it was more than implied through my tone."
"So you agree that you have a tone."
Danny nods. "I do. It was my 'What the hell is going on, I'm losing control and I don't know what to do about it,' tone.
"So you yelled at me."
"Don't pout at me. You yelled too."
"Well you yelled first."
"Steve, can we not… can we just be serious for a minute? This isn't easy for me, okay?"
"Sorry."
"Look, if you want to take my s... Libby... out while she is here, visiting, for a short time, a couple of weeks at the most..."
"Not if it's going to cause trouble at work."
"It's not my place to tell either of you what to do. You're both adults and if you want to go out, don't let me stand in your way."
"Really?" Steve's eyebrow quirks and he can't keep the surprise off his face. Danny wonders again how the man ever did an undercover op and came out alive.
"Really," Danny nods. "Just leave Grace out of it next time, okay? You could have told me to shove it when I asked you last night. Put yourself first for once."
Steve shakes his head. "Danny, I'll never turn Grace away if she needs help, no matter how mad you are at me. It's got nothing to do with her."
Before Danny can truly process what Steve has just said, the man is halfway out the doors and Danny doesn't have the energy left to chase after him.
* * *
"So then Danny came sprinting around the corner and made a flying tackle at the guy, but he changed direction at the last second and Danny just got a hold of his pants. The guy ended up standing naked from the waist down in the middle of the marketplace. I've never laughed so hard as when I heard Danno growl 'Pull your shorts up and put your hands behind your head.' "
"And here was me thinking that you were the one who liked to improvise his Miranda rights," Libby chuckles.
"In my defence, I am technically new to law enforcement. It's taken a while to adjust to civilian life full time."
"I don't know, you look like you're doing okay to me, Steve."
"How so?"
"Well, you work for the governor, you get to run an elite task force and from what I hear, the rest of your team is pretty amazing. I'd love to meet them."
"Yeah, well." Steve leans back and sighs. "If this had gone differently, if I hadn't met you that night and you had surprised Danny like you planned, we probably would have all ended up at my place having a cook out on the beach. Now, even though he more or less gave this his blessing, it would be unfair to make him sit through that. Gracie loves grilling tuna steaks," he ends wistfully.
Libby smiles. "You're really good with her, you know that?"
"Yeah? I try. But your brother doesn't seem to think I should spend so much time with them anymore. He said I need to start saying no to him."
"I don't think it's about you, Steve. Not really. I assume you read some kind of dossier on Danny when you set up the task force?"
"When I chose him for my partner, no. But afterwards I did."
"Then you know about all his siblings?"
"Do you mean the fact that you aren't really twins?"
Libby looks down at the table. "Yes. I don't know if I should be saying any of this, Steve." She looks up and meets his eye. "But I think you need to know. To understand Danny, why he's been the way he has the last couple of days."
"You don't have to tell me, I understand the need for space with things like this. Believe me. I've had enough of my family's tragedy aired to the world to last me forever.
Libby shakes her head. "No. I want you to know. Mom called us her special blessing. She wanted a girl, Dad wanted a boy and they found out that they were having triplets. Scans weren't as clear back then and whenever Mom had an appointment, Hannah was behind Danny or me and they didn't know if she was a boy or girl until the day she was born. Hannah was always the odd one out really. She was tall with curly brown hair and sparking green eyes and a wicked smile."
"She sounds a lot like Danny."
"She was. She was a special girl. When I saw Grace in the restaurant, it was like seeing Hannah again, she looks so much like her at that age. Everyone assumes she takes after Rachel, but there's so much Danny in her too."
"I'm sorry," Steve swallows. "I can't imagine how hard that must have been."
"It was. But it's kind of nice. Grace knows about her Aunt Hannah, the aunt she never met, but she doesn't know that she was our triplet. Everyone just calls her our sister, it just seemed easier at first and then it stuck."
"I don't see how this helps, Libby. Danny made it pretty clear that he wants to scale back the time I spend with the two of them."
"I don't believe he does, Steve. I think he's scared. He's lost so much. First Hannah to a drunk driver, then ten years later Rachel divorces him and he almost loses Grace. He was a complete mess when they first moved here and he couldn't follow right away. Grace is everything to him"
Steve nods. "He said that. The first day we met, I hijacked my father's case out from under him and we talked about why we he became a cop. I later assumed it also had to do with losing his sister like he did, but at the time he said it was to protect Grace and if he couldn't do that he didn't know what he was doing. I knew then for sure that he could understand why I had to catch the men who killed my father and he's been with me on that ever since. Even though it gets more complicated by the month."
Libby nods "That sounds like our Danny. And then my stupid little brother goes and... God that was a disaster. Danny told us what you did to help him with Matt. We were all really grateful to you, Steve."
He shrugs. "It's what you do. Besides, I hate the FBI."
Libby laughs ruefully. "Oh, so do we now. Believe me. Anyway, I just wanted you to understand where Danny's coming from a bit better."
"Well thanks. I already knew most of it; I see it in the way he interacts with the families of victims. You can’t learn that in sensitivity training. But it's different hearing it from someone rather than reading it in a file."
"It is. But don't worry, Steve. You guys will be okay. You mean a lot to Danny, and Grace. I can tell."
"Thanks. They mean a lot to me too."
"I know." She smiles and thinks to herself that neither of them seem to realise quite how much, but that maybe her presence is making her brother start to see. Libby looks at her watch. "Actually, if we leave now Grace might still be awake and I can tuck her in again. Is that okay?"
Steve nods. "Of course."
They ride to Danny's mostly in silence. Steve mentions buildings or statues of interest as they pass them but it's hard to see them in the dark and he stops after a few attempts. When they reach the apartment, Steve turns the truck off but doesn't move to get out.
"I, uh, don't think I should come in."
"I understand, Steve. Thanks for dinner. And I'll ask Danny about that cook out, okay?"
Steve nods. "Tell him it was your idea, leave me out of it. When he asks Kono, she'll just assume it's at my place and she’ll get the ball rolling and you'll be set them." He tries, he really does, but he can't stop his voice sounding just a little bitter.
It doesn't go unnoticed but Libby just leans over the gear stick and kisses him gently on the cheek. "Don't worry, Steve. It will all work out. You'll see."
"Say hi to Gracie for me?"
"Sure." She hops down and watches as Steve pulls away. It's time, she decides, to have a serious talk with her brother about this collection of people he calls ohana.
* * *
"Please, please tell me that you are willfully oblivious and not actually this dense, Danny?"
"Well hello the fuck to you too, sister. What kind of greeting is that?" Danny, who's sitting on the pulled out couch, looks up from the book he's reading, his face confused.
"The kind of greeting you give to your brother who has the best damn partner a guy could ask for but goes and acts like a total ass for no good reason."
"Best partner? I take it the date went well then?" He doesn't dread the answer, really.
"It did. We talked and talked. About pretty much everything."
"You seeing him again then? Wait, what everything? Elizabeth Ann Williams, what did you tell him?"
"Don't triple name me, Daniel. You're only a minute older than I am."
"What did you tell him?"
"We just talked about Grace," she perches on the arm of the pullout, her feet nestling under Danny's pillow.
"And..."
"And you. And Hannah," she finishes softly.
"Libby, why would you tell him about our..."
"He already knew, Danny."
Danny shakes his head. "No, he can't have. He's never mentioned it."
"He's your boss, remember. He's probably got your personnel file in his desk drawer or something. I just thought he should know some things that aren't in a file."
Danny frowns. "Such as?"
"Such as how much Grace looks like her."
"You see it too?" he breathes.
Libby nods. "Yeah. I do." She slides down the arm of the sofa and curls up next to her brother, her head resting on his shoulder. "Danny, Steve loves the two of you. Can you really not see it?"
"I know I overreacted last night, okay? I know it might take a while for him to believe it, but I apologised to him today for saying I don't trust him with Grace."
"And do you trust him with you, Danny?"
"Sure. Every day I trust him to shoot the bad guys before they can shoot me."
"That isn't what I mean and you know it."
"No, Libby. I don't."
"Look at me, Danny."
"Just let it go, Lib. Please."
"I can't." She sits up and brushes his stubbled cheek with the back of her fingers, soothing her brother before he can get himself worked up and change the subject. "I can't let it go because I can't let you pass this by. Danny, he talked about you and Grace for almost two hours straight. It was Danny this and Gracie that. Nobody else even calls her Gracie, surely you've noticed."
Danny nods. "I have. But he's lonely, Lib. He's lost almost his whole family."
"And you understand that. That's why I told him about Hannah, so he could understand how much you lost and how Grace is even more precious to us because she reminds us of our sister. You've both lost too much and it's time to accept what's right there and gain something back."
"I don't..."
"Danny, the man is completely in love with you. You do realise that, right? I mean he is in total denial, especially after you were such an asshole to him yesterday, but please tell me you haven't gone all this time not seeing it."
"He's not so in love with me that he can't pick up women in bars," he points out.
"And cancel the date to babysit your ten year old," Libby counters. "But Danny, I don't think he'd ever make the first move, not with you. Not when he has so much to lose."
"I..." Danny frowns. "He's my best friend, Lib. We're just close, that's all."
"Seriously? He took your daughter to the zoo for her birthday, he takes you hiking, he told me Grace joined science club because of him and wondered if you'd let him help her work out Mr Hoppy's genetics."
"He did?"
"The last thing he said when he dropped me off was 'Say hi to Gracie for me.' "
"Oh."
"Yes, oh. So, tell me brother of mine, how much longer are you going to make him sweat before you tell him that you love him too."
"How do you know that I do?"
Libby shrugs. "I'd like it noted that you're not denying it. And as if your reaction to the idea of us dating isn't enough of a giveaway, you let him call you Danno. Nobody but Grace calls you that. I mean, I tried that once and you threatened to tell Mom what really happened to great-grandma's vase if I ever called you that again."
"Fuck."
"Yup."
"You're sure he... too?"
"You're gonna have to learn to say it, Danny."
"Okay, but are you absolutely sure?"
Libby nods. "I am. Seriously, how are you half an elite task force? What part of anything the two of you do seems like normal, best friend, buddy cops, hanging out shooting the shit stuff?"
"We drink beer!" Danny defends.
"While you build sandcastles with Grace on his private beach," Libby exclaims. "But I recognise that you are a big fat chicken..."
"Hey!"
"So here's what we're gonna do, Danny."
* * *
Steve reaches his arms above his head and enjoys the stretch in his muscles. It's been a relaxed afternoon, everyone lounging about on the grass beneath the trees while the massive lunch slowly digests. Grace has only felt energetic enough to approach the water in the last hour, dragging her aunt to the edge and assuring her that she's honestly never, ever seen a shark since she moved to Hawaii. Steve had laughed and wondered how Grace turned out so unafraid of sealife considering the genetics she comes from. Kono'd laughed and started an all out water fight between the three of them.
Steve looks around his yard at the various people spread around. Kamekona and Max are deep in a discussion, debating digital remastering of classics (Kamekona the one against it, who'd have thought) and he's pretty sure that Chin is actually asleep under his hat. His eyes come to rest on Danny spread out on a towel, surrounded by Grace's beach equipment, and he lets his gaze linger.
Of course Steve's crap luck of late being what it is, Danny chooses that moment to look up but Steve's relieved when he's met with a smile. Danny stands, shakes the sand out of his shorts from when Grace dumped a bucketload over him, and makes his way over to Steve under the trees.
"So," he lowers himself onto the grass. "Good day, yeah?"
Steve nods. "Yeah. Thanks, Danno," he says wistfully.
"Why do you..." Danny frowns questioningly. "Why does that sound like the thanks of a condemned man? Or someone who... Oh damn, Steve. Tell me you haven't been recalled and deployed? Please, we couldn't handle that and..."
"Hey, hey, Danny. I'm not going anywhere. I just wasn't expecting... I mean after the things you said, I know you apologised and begrudgingly gave your blessing to date your sister but..." He stops.
"But what?"
Steve looks around his yard again. "I'd miss this."
"I know, Babe." Danny nudges Steve's knee with is foot and smiles. "I'd miss it too. Look, you know me, right?"
Steve nods.
"You know on the first day I met you, I accused you of being the shoot first, ask questions later kind of guy? And that you needed to warn me so I could duck?"
"No. That was later, Danno."
"It was?"
"Yup. The first day, you gave me a lesson in getting shot and apologising and something about savannah animals. Which if you ask me is latent permission to get you shot so long as I say sorry afterwards."
"Well it isn't, just so you know. You remember that?" Danny sounds surprised.
"Yup. But back to the ducking thing."
"Well, You shoot first and ask questions later, I shoot off at the mouth then refuse to talk about it properly later. Do you know what I mean?"
"That you talk too much?"
Danny rolls his eyes. "Why do I bother?"
"Because you love me," Steve grins.
"Yeah, about that..."
Steve's face freezes comically in a shocked half smile and he's fairly sure his left eye twitches.
"Look, Steve. I need to know. I know it's not my business, okay? But you and Libby aren't... I mean..."
"God Danny. She's great. Really great."
"Oh."
"But I can't date her. I couldn't even kiss her. It would be way too weird."
"Okay. That's. Okay. Good." Danny breaths out loudly.
"Good?"
"Yes, good, okay?"
"You don’t think I'm good enough for her or something? Just because I'm too 'batshit, Army crazy' for you doesn't mean I'm not good enough for someone else, you asshole."
"What? I don’t think you're not..." Okay, man the fuck up, Williams, he berates himself. "Okay fine. You're not good enough for my sister, Steve. Nobody is. Just like nobody will ever been good enough for Grace. But you... you are fucking perfect for me, okay?"
"I know." Steve smirks again, and doesn't he seem to be doing a lot of that this afternoon. He lays back down, triumphant look on his face and watches Danny’s brain catch up.
"You know?"
"Yes. I realised when a date with your sister felt just like catching up with my own sister. And, wait. Was that an actual compliment, Danno?"
"Don't Danno me when I'm being emotionally vulnerable you stunted...
Steve sits again and leans across the space between them. Danny feels his lips pressed against the warmth of Steve's, as he finds himself being kissed with unexpected gentleness. After a few moments, Steve leans back again.
"...Socially incompetent..."
"Danny?" Steve smiles against his partner's cheek.
"Yeh?"
"Shut up."
"Okay."
This time it's Danny who pulls Steve to him and begins a quiet exploration of this new thing.
Neither of them notice three people, one with long blonde hair, two with brown, grinning at them from the edge of the water. Or when they all high five before running back out to swim.
The rest of the afternoon passes into a warm blur and the evening is filled with laughter and more embarrassing stories than Danny could ever hope to live down. Once Grace is tucked up safe in her usual Steve's Place Room (and that there is more than enough evidence to show just how intertwined the little family has become), the adults convene on the shore, passing around beers and continuing to share in the mortification of Danny Williams.
***
As Steve begins to wake, he feels the warmth of the sun on his back and without really meaning to, he calculates that it is about 9am. He's also aware of another warmth, one stretching down the front of his body. He cracks open an eye and sees a smooth, freckled shoulder and a mess of golden hair. It's shiny and smooth and he can't help but reach up and gently smooth it back from his bedmate's face.
From Danny's face. It's relaxed by sleep smiling slightly, and looking suspiciously like he's basking in the morning light. Steve quickly checks the alarm clock and finds that it is indeed quite late, 9:15, and he kind of wants to stay like this forever, and unwrap the rest of Danny like a surprise gift he never expected. But he knows that will come soon enough, hopefully tonight when they are alone. For now he settles for wondering what the rest of the houseful of people is doing.
"Danno," he whispers.
"Mmmm no 'm sleeping." Danny tries to burrow further back into Steve and pulls the covers up over his shoulder.
Steve chuckles. "Still not a morning person I see." He gently pulls the covers back, taking a moment to admire his partner's muscled back, placing a lingering kiss on his shoulder blade. "God, Danny, you have no idea the things I want to do with you."
Danny rolls over to face Steve and laughs back, "Oh, I think I do because I'm pretty sure they're all on the list of things I want to do with you."
"So, that answers an important question. You're okay with this then? I mean, neither of us were exactly sending out strong signals that we were interested in this."
“That’s not what Libby says.”
“Libby?”
“And I’m pretty sure Kono too. I wouldn’t be surprised if Chin were in on it but he is much more subtle than either of them.” “So everyone knew before us. And you’re still okay with this?”
Danny nods. "More than okay. I know we had a bit to drink last night but we were far from irrational decision making territory, right?"
"Right," Steve smiles, that smile that makes Danny go a little numb inside, and pulls him even closer. He drops a kiss to the top of his head.
Danny mouths softly at Steve's neck. "And I'm assuming you've got no regrets about which Williams is in your bed this morning?"
"None at all. This spot doesn't belong to anyone else."
"He feels the same." Danny continues his nibbling but freezes when his stomach growls loudly.
"And you think I'm the neanderthal?" Steve laughs deeply, shaking the whole bed, before sitting up and pulling at his partner. "Come on, Danno. Let's get you fed, make piles and piles of pancakes, and see if our family has left any of the house standing."
"Our family?" Danny pauses in the middle of pulling on his shirt.
Steve nods and when Danny's fully dressed, pulls open the door. "Yeah. Our ohana. For better or worse, we are who we are."
"Take us or leave us."
"Oh, I'm going to take you, Danny." Steve winks and bumps into the stairway wall when Danny comes at him.
"Shhh! The house has little ears now, McGarrett."
"Did you hear that? See, I told you the Bossman was up. Can we eat now?" Kono's voice carries from the kitchen and the men's sense of smell tells them that they are way behind in the piles of pancakes plan.
"House has big ears too," Danny mumbles.
"Wouldn't have it any other way," Steve grins and grabs hold of Danny's hand, pulling him in for a lightening quick kiss. "Let's go face the music, hey?"
Danny nods, because they both know there's going to be some gentle ribbing and joking and a lot of gloating from two particular females in their ohana. But he realises that like Steve, he really wouldn't have it any other way.