(no subject)
*sigh*
I keep thinking and thinking about how long it'll take until Knuckles wants to talk to me again. And I also keep thinking, "What if it never happens?"
... That song I was practicing before, "Love Will Find You..." I wonder if I should actually listen to it. And by that, I mean take its advice.
I told myself before I fell for Knuckles that I would let love find me instead of me finding it. I didn't listen. Now I have no choice but to listen. I'm tired of rejection; it makes me miserable. If this is the only way to stop it, so be it.
And just because I'm laying off the whole "finding-my-true-love" deal, it doesn't mean I have to quit love entirely, right? I mean, look where that led me the last time!
Yeah, maybe this is a pretty sudden decision, but even though I still have some attachment to Knuckles, I can't just wait forever for him to fall in love with me, because it'll probably never happen. He's got Zigzagoon, he's got Roselia... he doesn't need me, really... even if it hurts me to say so.
Screw it, I'm going to live my life the way I used to, before this whole heartbreak nonsense started! I was just fine until the Luigi incident. I realize that now. Being so fixated on finding someone to love me... it ruined me. It's not too late to fix it, though. I can be my old self again, now that I know what went wrong!
Sure, it hurts right now that I have to give up on Knuckles, but I'll get over it. Besides, he'll still be my friend. And an awesome friend, at that.
I was also thinking about what Jet said in one of my entries: that I should prove to everyone I'm not a snob or anything like that by doing good things for people. He's right. I've been too fixated on myself, too narcissistic. I can prove everyone wrong. And I can be my old self again.
I feel like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel free again.
And it feels... amazing.
---
Hey, guys, I just thought of something!
You know how I was asking you all not to call me a princess anymore?
I guess I kind of got my wish, huh? Haha!
I keep thinking and thinking about how long it'll take until Knuckles wants to talk to me again. And I also keep thinking, "What if it never happens?"
... That song I was practicing before, "Love Will Find You..." I wonder if I should actually listen to it. And by that, I mean take its advice.
I told myself before I fell for Knuckles that I would let love find me instead of me finding it. I didn't listen. Now I have no choice but to listen. I'm tired of rejection; it makes me miserable. If this is the only way to stop it, so be it.
And just because I'm laying off the whole "finding-my-true-love" deal, it doesn't mean I have to quit love entirely, right? I mean, look where that led me the last time!
Yeah, maybe this is a pretty sudden decision, but even though I still have some attachment to Knuckles, I can't just wait forever for him to fall in love with me, because it'll probably never happen. He's got Zigzagoon, he's got Roselia... he doesn't need me, really... even if it hurts me to say so.
Screw it, I'm going to live my life the way I used to, before this whole heartbreak nonsense started! I was just fine until the Luigi incident. I realize that now. Being so fixated on finding someone to love me... it ruined me. It's not too late to fix it, though. I can be my old self again, now that I know what went wrong!
Sure, it hurts right now that I have to give up on Knuckles, but I'll get over it. Besides, he'll still be my friend. And an awesome friend, at that.
I was also thinking about what Jet said in one of my entries: that I should prove to everyone I'm not a snob or anything like that by doing good things for people. He's right. I've been too fixated on myself, too narcissistic. I can prove everyone wrong. And I can be my old self again.
I feel like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel free again.
And it feels... amazing.
---
Hey, guys, I just thought of something!
You know how I was asking you all not to call me a princess anymore?
I guess I kind of got my wish, huh? Haha!