Condoms
This story really isn't what I'd love to be known for .. but a lot of people liked it so, I guess I have to put it up with the
rest.
---
01
---
Neji gazed stocially at the other side of the training field where all his weapons had fallen. Maybe he could excuse himself to gather them?
No. Naruto would follow him.
"..'cause I found it, and I asked Iruka-sensi, but he just got mad and wanted to know where I got it from which is kinda strange 'cause it doesn't look dangerous and it doesn't smell dangerous--"
Neji blinked rapidly. Naruto smelt a .. condom?
"Hey, hey! Neji .. Neji, Neji. Neji, do you know what it is?" He was pulling the Hyuuga's sleeve and bouncing around him.
Neji didn't know just how to feel. His face ended up looking rather like he was infested with diarreah.
".. So you do then?" Naruto shoved the piece of plastic two inches from Neji's face. "What is it?"
"..." Neji opened his mouth, but closed it least Naruto shove that thing in. Even so, Naruto was waiting patiently enough - never minding the ever-eager face.
Begrudgingly, he replied. "It's a .. condom." He hung his face low. He knew where this would go.
The blankness upon Naruto was thick enough to paint a portrait over. "A .." he made a face, "what?"
"A condom." Neji muttered. "Men, uh, .. wear it."
Naruto gave him a strange look. But didn't give up. "Where?" He peered closely at Neji's face in curiousity. "Can you show me?"
Neji sputtered and backed up hastily. His fierce blush like a becon over his pale face.
(He had been considering it..
---
02
---
Hiashi called Neji into a room secluded from prying eyes.
"I heard you had interesting day.." He was leaning against the wall flipping through a book that Neji did not bother to read the title of.
Neji tilted his head to the side slightly, betraying nothing.
Hiashi looked up at his nephew, and finished the sentence. "With Uzumaki."
Neji immediately froze like a deer being told it has to drive a 747 through Boston without landing lights.
"Epmf." His bones loudly cracked from tension. And was that a hint of pink across his cheek bones? Feeh. Of course not.
Hiashi nodded like Neji had actually said something literate, and flipped another page in his book. "I think that it is the time .. for me to explain certain things to you." He set the book down on a nearby table, his hand lingering on top of it.
Neck erect, Hiashi continued. "Neji.. I believe that it is an appropriate time for you to learn about something called the 'Birds and Bees'--"
Neji interrupted with a cough saying that his father had already taught him.
"Very well then." Hiashi tapped his fist on the table lightly, then started in Neji's direction. "Then we shall discuss .. 'birthcontrol'."
He opened up his hand and showed the contents - a neon green condom - to Neji. "After all, we don't want you to get pregnant now do we?"
Neji choked while breathing.
Hiashi parted his robe with one swift movement - lapping the fabric from the front over his arm - and said "Let me show you how it goes on.."
Neji broke the speed record.
---
03
---
Iruka pushed hard against Naruto's door, the aged wood sticking to it's frame and being difficult to move.
His shoulder slammed against the door - effectively opening it - as he called out to Naruto, the bags of take-out ramen balanced between his arms.
A loud thump and scant noises from the bedroom distracted him, but he decided against investigating after a cursory stare. (With no screaming, and it couldn't be an intruder.)
He managed to find the kitchen in the highly-condensed apartment even with his sight blocked by the bundle of bags.
Iruka was in the process of setting them on the counter - without dropping or spilling anything - when Naruto crashed into the kitchen, one hand clutching at the clasp of his pants and eyes wide, his hair even more erratic and wild than usual.
"Ah! Iruka!" Naruto's grin popped over his face like that of a wet balloon, the droplets splattering into the shine of his eyes and the easy stance of his back.
Iruka turned to face his old student, only now being able to see what was in front of him, and started.
"Naruto!" His head arched backwards and he pointed a long narrow finger. "What is that!"
Naruto glanced once beside him at the three foot tall houseplant - decorated with four inch leaves and a mulitple assortment of differently colored condoms - and bolted back for his bedroom.
He slammed the door, and following after Iruka found out that Naruto had locks on more than the front of his apartment.
---
04
---
Neji tugged on Naruto's penis. "It usuallly works better if you are .."
"Are..?" Naruto inquired, staring down stocially at Neji's hands as he fumbled with the slippery plastic.
"Erect", was the muttered answer. Neji bent his head further down, his long hair slipping over his shoulders and becoming all that Naruto's vision could possess.
This close, he could smell Neji. Naruto leaned forward, until his nose almost was covered in the strands.
He reached out a hand into Neji's shirt, fisting it and bringing the other's eyes straight into hs own in the moment that passed before Naruto kissed Neji.
Neji tighted his fist, still holding the slippery codom in place. Naruto smiled in return, instead of moaning, and Neji pushed against him.
Things were progressing rather rapidly from there, when a sudden shout seperated them both instantly (though the saliva between them took a moment longer).
"Neji!" She half-shouted, surprised beyond belief to see her cousin that close to another being in any physical manner.
"Hinata?" His eyes were wide as he wipped his mouth, and looked up. Neji glanced at Naruto beside him, then back at his cousin. "Hinata-sama..? What are you doing here?"
Hinata followed his eyes, then stumbled backwards at the sight of Naruto exposed (shameless as he was), and could barely swallow. She stumbled once, on the heel of her shoe, and dashed backwards away from the scene.
rest.
---
01
---
Neji gazed stocially at the other side of the training field where all his weapons had fallen. Maybe he could excuse himself to gather them?
No. Naruto would follow him.
"..'cause I found it, and I asked Iruka-sensi, but he just got mad and wanted to know where I got it from which is kinda strange 'cause it doesn't look dangerous and it doesn't smell dangerous--"
Neji blinked rapidly. Naruto smelt a .. condom?
"Hey, hey! Neji .. Neji, Neji. Neji, do you know what it is?" He was pulling the Hyuuga's sleeve and bouncing around him.
Neji didn't know just how to feel. His face ended up looking rather like he was infested with diarreah.
".. So you do then?" Naruto shoved the piece of plastic two inches from Neji's face. "What is it?"
"..." Neji opened his mouth, but closed it least Naruto shove that thing in. Even so, Naruto was waiting patiently enough - never minding the ever-eager face.
Begrudgingly, he replied. "It's a .. condom." He hung his face low. He knew where this would go.
The blankness upon Naruto was thick enough to paint a portrait over. "A .." he made a face, "what?"
"A condom." Neji muttered. "Men, uh, .. wear it."
Naruto gave him a strange look. But didn't give up. "Where?" He peered closely at Neji's face in curiousity. "Can you show me?"
Neji sputtered and backed up hastily. His fierce blush like a becon over his pale face.
(He had been considering it..
---
02
---
Hiashi called Neji into a room secluded from prying eyes.
"I heard you had interesting day.." He was leaning against the wall flipping through a book that Neji did not bother to read the title of.
Neji tilted his head to the side slightly, betraying nothing.
Hiashi looked up at his nephew, and finished the sentence. "With Uzumaki."
Neji immediately froze like a deer being told it has to drive a 747 through Boston without landing lights.
"Epmf." His bones loudly cracked from tension. And was that a hint of pink across his cheek bones? Feeh. Of course not.
Hiashi nodded like Neji had actually said something literate, and flipped another page in his book. "I think that it is the time .. for me to explain certain things to you." He set the book down on a nearby table, his hand lingering on top of it.
Neck erect, Hiashi continued. "Neji.. I believe that it is an appropriate time for you to learn about something called the 'Birds and Bees'--"
Neji interrupted with a cough saying that his father had already taught him.
"Very well then." Hiashi tapped his fist on the table lightly, then started in Neji's direction. "Then we shall discuss .. 'birthcontrol'."
He opened up his hand and showed the contents - a neon green condom - to Neji. "After all, we don't want you to get pregnant now do we?"
Neji choked while breathing.
Hiashi parted his robe with one swift movement - lapping the fabric from the front over his arm - and said "Let me show you how it goes on.."
Neji broke the speed record.
---
03
---
Iruka pushed hard against Naruto's door, the aged wood sticking to it's frame and being difficult to move.
His shoulder slammed against the door - effectively opening it - as he called out to Naruto, the bags of take-out ramen balanced between his arms.
A loud thump and scant noises from the bedroom distracted him, but he decided against investigating after a cursory stare. (With no screaming, and it couldn't be an intruder.)
He managed to find the kitchen in the highly-condensed apartment even with his sight blocked by the bundle of bags.
Iruka was in the process of setting them on the counter - without dropping or spilling anything - when Naruto crashed into the kitchen, one hand clutching at the clasp of his pants and eyes wide, his hair even more erratic and wild than usual.
"Ah! Iruka!" Naruto's grin popped over his face like that of a wet balloon, the droplets splattering into the shine of his eyes and the easy stance of his back.
Iruka turned to face his old student, only now being able to see what was in front of him, and started.
"Naruto!" His head arched backwards and he pointed a long narrow finger. "What is that!"
Naruto glanced once beside him at the three foot tall houseplant - decorated with four inch leaves and a mulitple assortment of differently colored condoms - and bolted back for his bedroom.
He slammed the door, and following after Iruka found out that Naruto had locks on more than the front of his apartment.
---
04
---
Neji tugged on Naruto's penis. "It usuallly works better if you are .."
"Are..?" Naruto inquired, staring down stocially at Neji's hands as he fumbled with the slippery plastic.
"Erect", was the muttered answer. Neji bent his head further down, his long hair slipping over his shoulders and becoming all that Naruto's vision could possess.
This close, he could smell Neji. Naruto leaned forward, until his nose almost was covered in the strands.
He reached out a hand into Neji's shirt, fisting it and bringing the other's eyes straight into hs own in the moment that passed before Naruto kissed Neji.
Neji tighted his fist, still holding the slippery codom in place. Naruto smiled in return, instead of moaning, and Neji pushed against him.
Things were progressing rather rapidly from there, when a sudden shout seperated them both instantly (though the saliva between them took a moment longer).
"Neji!" She half-shouted, surprised beyond belief to see her cousin that close to another being in any physical manner.
"Hinata?" His eyes were wide as he wipped his mouth, and looked up. Neji glanced at Naruto beside him, then back at his cousin. "Hinata-sama..? What are you doing here?"
Hinata followed his eyes, then stumbled backwards at the sight of Naruto exposed (shameless as he was), and could barely swallow. She stumbled once, on the heel of her shoe, and dashed backwards away from the scene.