Aversion to sentiments and how to break them.

Oct 30, 2010 12:45

Another fanfiction  yay :)

Title: Aversion to sentiments and how to break them.
Genre: Fluff 
Characters/Pairings: Ichigo, Rukia, Ichigo/Rukia
Word Count: 2000+ 
Ratings: K+/T

A/N: Okay so most of you Bleach fans would definitely have read chapter 424 right? I find that little half page panel dedicated to Ichigo's big echoing thoughts on Rukia, after 17 months, really angsty and the poor boy is such in denial about how he wants a 'normal' life which he obviously does not.

So this not so little oneshot is supposed to be a fluff to console myself from the IchiRuki angst from chapter 423 three weeks ago to chapter 424. Future-fic ish. I'm honestly not really happy with it but I've been digressing myself from finishing one actual fanfic so I push myself to actually get this one done and I did :)

Italics chunk of texts are flashback (apart from Paramore's 'The Only Exception' lyric insertion) while normal fonts are the present times.

So basically, this is Rukia and her pondering mind as she's on her way on some kind of a date with Ichigo, two years after chapter 424.

Enjoy!

-

Rukia felt the hypothetical wall which surrounds her cordial sentiments breaking. It’s cracking in such a way which almost felt physical. Almost. The invisible atrophy which took her a century to build up crumbles in a span of less than a half decade and she knew who to blame.

-

“Give me your sword shinigami.”
“It’s not shinigami, it’s Kuchiki Rukia.”
“I see,” the orange haired boy gave Rukia a cocky smile; “I’m Kurosaki Ichigo. Let’s hope this won’t be our last encounter.”

-

And that was the day that I promised,
I’d never sing of love,
If it does not exist.
At that time, Rukia never thought that she and her life would change at such a whirlwind pace. But it did and it diverted into a path which she never thought of before.

Initially, the adopted Kuchiki was a strict rule abider. Brought up alongside a stoic and a firm believer of tradition and moral rectitude older brother who expects mimicking behavior from her, Rukia did her best on shutting out her heart’s voice and follow the acceptable conventions.

It took a literal whirlwind to put her determination and intention into disarray- a whirlwind in the form of one Kurosaki Ichigo. Their first unlikely meeting led to an array of more unlikely events.

During the first year after they met, Rukia didn’t need an encyclopedia to tell her that Kurosaki Ichigo is impulsive. He does what his heart tells him without thinking of consequences. Most of the time he would block out opinion inputs from others once his resolve is strong, particularly hers.

-

“I told you,” said Ichigo as he stood on top of the Soukyouku hill, his protruding sword in his right hand, while his left arm snaked securely around her waist, holding her close to his side, “all your opinions are rejected. No matter what you say, I’ve come to save you Rukia.”

-

Little did he know that back then, more than anything, she loathes impulsive people. If there’s one thing she learnt from growing up in a poor Rukongai district is that impulsiveness gets one nowhere. She had seen countless of moments in which a person’s rash decisions lead to their own misfortune, and half the time the individual ended up severely injured or dead. Rukia admittedly hated this aspect of Kurosaki Ichigo.

However, as time passes and she spent more time with him, Rukia found herself acting more on impulse rather than thoroughly thought out decisions. The strategical way of handling situations which she acquired over years of living in difficult conditions disappeared. Instead, she found herself following her heart’s voice rather than her consciousness.

Rukia never felt so free about herself before. For once, she felt in control of her life rather than being controlled by it.

It wasn’t until later that she realized she hated Kurosaki Ichigo’s impulsiveness because she cared.

The petite girl slowed down her pace as she sensed another rush of memory flooding in her mind, her hands brought in front of her chest as the chilly November breeze blew upon her.

-

“Oi midget, stop with the crappy drawing will ya? It’s giving me a headache!”

Rukia glared at Ichigo briefly before diverting her attention back to her sketchpad.

“You know, with your height and your freaky art, you are definitely bringing the Kuchiki’s name to shame.”

Oh that’s it.

Two hours later, somewhere in Seireitei, a large crowd was swarming around an ice sculpture. The life-like figure scarily resembles a Kurosaki Ichigo. A petrified Kurosaki Ichigo.

And somewhere in the Kuchiki manor, Rukia took a sip of her green tea, Sode no Shirayuki in its released form by her side.

-

Ichigo was never hesitant to annoy her, to scold her when she made a mistake, to lash at her when he disagreed. He treats her in every single way she wanted to be treated- human, real and most of all an equal. Because of her name, the sense of equality can’t be achieved as easily in Soul Society. He was her first solace after Kaien died and the first reassurance after she’s been adopted into the Kuchiki family that she is still human. He gave her his trust and she gave him his. They’re partnership turned into a deep bond of faith between nakamas.

Which inevitably turned into something more.

-
Ichigo looked on at Karakura from behind the railing of his school’s rooftop. He heard gentle footsteps slowly approached him but resolved not to look back.

“You’re mad at me,” a shrill voice remarked. Ichigo lazily turned around. His eyes quickly found the owner of the voice, the Shinigami robe clad petite girl glared at him.

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are! You wouldn’t talk to me or meet my eyes the whole time I was in the room but you sure make yourself social with Renji and even nii-sama. You’re mad at me,” Rukia accused.

“No I’m not. I’m talking to you right now aren’t I?”

Rukia groaned, “Because I forced myself to come to you. Really Ichigo, what did I do now? Is it because I didn’t come and visit for a whole year? ”

Ichigo remained silent.

Rukia sighed, “Ichigo, I didn’t come for a whole year because I didn’t want you to be reminded of the life you had. I want you to have a normal life, be a normal teenager and follow its ordeals. I’m only looking out for you. We’re…nakamas, aren’t we?”

Ichigo shrugged, “Yeah, I know that already…” he straightened up, one hand hidden in his uniform pants pocket, “…nakama..Rukia have you ever thought how strange that word sounds?”

Rukia blinked at him questioningly.

“Chad is my nakama, Keigo, Mizuiro, Tatsuki, Inoue, Ishida, Renji…they’re nakama. But the word nakama just doesn’t suit you…no matter how many times I tried.”

Rukia frowned in response. She immediately looked away, hurt etched in her eyes, “ I..see…”

“I don’t hate you,” Ichigo explained, keeping his expression firm, “what I mean is, you’re not only a nakama Rukia. You- we’re something deeper than that, I don’t know what it is but I know that’s the case… that’s why…” Ichigo looked to his side, knowing that the petite girl in front of him is giving him a surprised look, “you suck for not coming back within those 17 months.”

-

Trust Ichigo to initiate things first. After that little encounter, their relationship began to evolve into a new direction. Warm smiles are more common, Ichigo didn’t hesitate calling her ‘Rukia’ in front of strangers, Rukia visits Karakura town at every chance she gets despite her high position in the Gotei 13 now and would almost always greeted eagerly by Ichigo. He didn’t regain his shinigami abilities yet but he did regain his ability to see spirits. He told her once, as long as he can see spirits, it’s enough. Rukia had a strange feeling that the statement is not directed to spirits but rather to her.

Rukia stopped in front of a glass door, examining her reflection on its tinted window. Her destination is only a corner turn away and she made sure her white dress and blue denim jacket are free of wrinkles. She smiled as another snippet of her life returned to her mind.

-

“Ichigo, look at that brunette sitting at table number 9, she has the hottest body ever and she’s looking at you,” Keigo nudged Ichigo who sat beside him, busy with his coke. Rukia who sat across the two boys gave a questioning look at Ichigo but the orange-haired teen never gave the said ‘hot’ girl a first glance. Out of curiosity, Rukia turned and stole a look at the mentioned female. She has fair skin, a genteel smile, perfect bone structure and silky black hair which tumbles down right below her shoulder. She was beautiful.

“Asano-kun’s right for once Ichigo,” said Rukia, “she’s really pretty.”

Ichigo gave the petite girl a look which speaks along the line, ‘are you insane?’.

“See even the lovely Rukia-chan agrees with me,” Keigo said eagerly which earned him a jab on his stomach by Ichigo’s elbow.

“Heh, she’s okay,” Ichigo commented which caused Rukia to raise an eyebrow at him, “but beauty is relative anyway. There are too much girls like her around here. Skinny tall, all the same.”

“Uh-huh,” Keigo nodded at his statement, “so what kind of girls are you attracted to anyway?”

Ichigo moved slightly uneasily in his seat, “Well, I dunno, I never gave it much thought. Maybe a girl who can wear anything, a black robe or dresses instead of tight jeans like they do nowadays, and still look beautiful,” Ichigo gave the petite girl sitting across him a small smile which she returned, “and maybe not so vertically challenged.”

Ichigo cringed as he felt a searing pain on his right leg after tiny foot with inhumane strength barbarically kicked it.

-

Rukia knew that she and Ichigo are not people of words. They don’t often convey their feelings verbally and at most argue, kick one another and insult each other until one goes insane. Yet they do have their tender moments. Sometimes when they walk side by side, they would walk closer to one another that they could easily intertwine their hands. He would greet her with a tender look on nights she sat by his windowsill as she visits. Although Ichigo isn’t as powerful as was before, he still tried to protect her in ways he can. At times when they walk side by side by a busy road, he made sure he stands on the side where cars are, shielding her from unwanted attentions and at times, putting his arm around her in order to do so. He’d become alarmingly possessive of her being, she recently noticed. They’ve never talked about being exclusive or finding the term to define their relationship, relishing its unnamed state and the fact that it’s theirs. They’re Ichigo and Rukia.

Rukia stared at her reflection. Ichigo had started out as a brash fifteen -years old with a strong will to protect. He now became one of the most important people in her life; he gave her strength, the will to live, to have the courage to stand up to her beliefs despite the rules. She changed his world but he never knew how much he changed hers as well.

Rukia turned around and continued walking, heading to the right turn of the street where she knew her destination is.

Ichigo’s nineteen now, a freshman in university to her knowledge. After the winter war, he had been able to lead as normal life as he could possibly can. The only exception to his normalcy is his ability to see spirits- and her.

She’s the boundary which prevents him from leading a completely normal life. Rukia stops just before the turn of the street.

Is this right? Are they meant to be together? Is she a positive addition in his life?

Rukia let out a breath she never knew she was holding as she took the right turn of the street. Spotting a familiar orange-haired figure, she unconsciously began to walk faster. Ichigo who was lazily leaning against the wall of the building smiled as he noticed the petite girl walking towards him. He then frowned, feigning annoyance.

“What the hell Rukia, the movie started ten minutes ago. You said you wouldn’t be late!”

Rukia stopped a foot in front of him, panting slightly from the quick pace of her walk. Her eyes met his amber ones. Ichigo frowned, “Rukia, what’s wrong?”

“Ichigo…”she muttered quietly, “is this right?”

“Hm?”

“Is this all right?”

“What the hell are you talking about? We’re watching a movie, of course it’s all right!”

“No,” Rukia shook her head, “not the movie. You and me, is this all right? You told me you wanted a normal life and you’ve got it. But being with me, it’s not exactly normal. I’m not normal, I’m not human,” the petite girl looked at the ground by her side.

Ichigo sighed. He gripped Rukia by her shoulder and pulled her against himself, cradling her tiny figure against his tenderly, “Rukia, what part of a guy going out with a special girl in his life is not normal in this world?” the teenage murmured against her head. She only responded by clutching the front of his black leather jacket.

“I’ve got every aspect of normal life I wanted. I graduated from highschool, I’ve spent my teenage years hanging out with my friends and having fun, I got admitted into university of my choice,” Ichigo backed away slightly so he could gaze into Rukia’s violet eyes, “I met a girl and I’m smitten, now you tell me how any of those are not normal.”

“Well,” Rukia responded not taking her gaze away from his, “for starters the girl is not a living human being.”

“Heh, what are you talking about? As far as I know, she’s right here with me alive and looking as good as she always does,” Ichigo smirked. Rukia blushed lightly. He bent down so his forehead touched hers, “and as for complete normality, I’m not expecting it. Normality is overrated anyway and even if I do have to live through it,” Ichigo gave Rukia a peck on her forehead, “you’re my only exception.”

Rukia felt warmth bubbling through every morsel of her soul. Only Kurosaki Ichigo could make her feel in cloud nine and as if she’s worth the world. Only Kurosaki Ichigo knows the right words to say to her and the words she needed to hear. He shows her affection and because of him, she’s able to show the world hers. She knows he’s the person she would defy the whole world to be with, normal conventions be damned, he’s her only exception. She wrapped her arms around his torso, burying her face against his chest. “You too,” she murmured.

“Ah,” Ichigo replied, stroking her head gently. He pulled away slowly, “Now come on, we’re watching the movie. I’m not wasting my money on two tickets for nothing.”

Rukia laughed softly. She took hold of his hand as they both walked into the cinema building together, their affection to one another evident for the world to see.
-
You are the only exception…
You are the only exception…

otaku, rukia, fanfiction, fluff, ichiruki, ichigo, bleach

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