Beauty and the Beast | Chapter 16/20 [Part 2]: love

love_cassiopeia

Beauty and the Beast | Chapter 16/20 [Part 2]

May 16, 2009 19:39

[ P A R T T W O ]

Beauty and the Beast
Author: love_cassiopeia
Summary: Jung Yunho - a gifted and successful actor. Kim Jaejoong - Yunho's biggest fan. After receiving the task to interview Yunho for his journalism assignment, Jaejoong realizes that his favourite actor just might transform him from a "fan" into something much more.
Rated: PG-13 ~ NC-17
Disclaimer: I don’t own the five members, I’m simply borrowing them.
Warning(s): NC-17 material, language
Genre: Romance/Comedy
Pairing(s): YunJae
Chapter 16: Regrets [Part 2]

[ <- Part 1 ]

16.

Part 2:

Regrets

Dining room, Yunho’s home. 9:34 AM Seoul, South Korea

A plate of flawlessly assembled Eggs Benedict, strawberry imbedded waffles, and strips of bacon cooked to perfection stood before him, presenting itself attractively before the actor. A series of expensive dipping sauces was placed across the plate, insuring that the actor’s taste buds would not go ruined. Within the enormous table, a large variety of tropical fruits stationed itself beside a jug of freshly squeezed orange juice, presenting the man with a perfectly-accumulated lavish breakfast.

Anyone would drool at the sight, for the outrageous amount of food was utterly stunning and mouth-watering. The actor, however, was not marvelled by such a sight-mostly because he experienced the scene almost every single day.

“Enjoy.” One of the elderly waitresses poured a glass of orange juice before him, preventing the actor from having to take the task upon himself. She left with a slight bow, hoping the actor would be able to enjoy the meal the gourmet chefs assembled.

He moved his fork about the plate, deciding what to eat to lift his low spirits. He had no appetite-no interest-in the scrumptious breakfast, or in life altogether. He had no awareness in acting anymore, for it had drained the life from him. He continued his career only because it was required. He didn’t have much of a choice, especially after the gruelling torment he endured.

The actor grimaced at the breakfast buffet which lay before him. He wanted to laugh at his luxurious lifestyle. He was here, trapped inside a prison, while people out there enjoyed their every day lifestyles dining normally.

He couldn’t eat any of it, not one morsel.

That’s when Changmin stormed into the dining room, a petulant frown on his face and his voice raised. “Yunho! I can’t believe you!” In his hands he held a black and white newspaper, one which appeared as if it had just arrived on the actor’s doorstep.

The manager slammed the neatly folded newspaper on the table before Yunho, causing the actor’s eyes to scrutinize the morning paper at once. “I think you should take a look at this.” The manger suggested (or was it, commanded). His teeth gritted together in complete frustration at the half-awake actor.

Yunho glanced across the latest edition of the Seoul Times newspaper, astonished as soon as he saw his picture printed upon the front page of the entertainment section. Next to the black and white photo located a news article, one which shockingly had the name Kim Jaejoong printed on it…

“What is this?” The actor asked his manager, demanding him for an answer.

“I can’t believe I actually listened to you!” The manager cried out, ignoring the actor’s question entiriely.

“Listened to me for what?”

The manager rolled his eyes. “I believed you when you ‘assumed’ Jaejoong was responsible for treachery!” Changmin lividly stated. “Look at the paper!” He indicated. “Everything Jaejoong has been telling was the truth!”

Yunho’s eyes gave a cursory scan at the paper, trying to disentangle the confusion within him. “So…” He trailed off. “Jaejoong doesn’t work for VX magazine but he words for the Seoul Times newspaper?”

Changmin was at his limits. “How idiotic are you? I can’t believe I wanted up to be your manager once upon a time!” He remarked, holding a wry face. “Just read the article, you fool!” He commanded. “It will explain everything!”

Aggravated, the manager strolled out of the large dinning room, leaving Yunho alone in the luxurious dining room. The actor examined the newspaper, wondering what would be revealed in the intriguing article.

Maybe he had been wrong… Maybe his assumptions were completely absurd all this time…

Ignoring his grand breakfast, he took the chance to read the very first paragraph of the lengthy article. He hoped, at the very least, that a hint of truth would be revealed within it.

“The versatile actor and poised entertainer, Jung Yunho, is by far the most influential magnate in the film industry. After spending a few days with him, I not only realized his astonishing talent was bottomless, but that his inner child had influenced quite a large segment of his character. The actor whom I imagined would be poised and graceful turned out to be nothing but a mischievous and stubborn child.”

“The actor is not only obstinate, but he is also very cold and inapproachable at first. But after spending only a few hours with him, I discovered that his outer shell begins to melt, revealing his true colours and deep emotions to the world. I’ve spent nearly a month with him, and I had never once gotten a bit uninterested with his lively spirit.”

“The actor is stubborn at heart, and yet, he will do everything in his power to make those whom he treasure flourish with happiness. Jung Yunho is not your average actor. He is extremely capricious, allowing anyone who comes within his presence to madly fall in love with him.”

The actor was sceptical of his vision. Did Kim Jaejoong, the deceiving devil, write this? Or was he simply hallucinating?

“On my first day in Paris with him, Jung Yunho resolutely escaped his staff dinner to explore the sights of downtown Paris. From this task, I could easily tell that he was unlike the other actors during his era. Despite the importance of his film, Yunho took the time to introduce the city of Paris to me, making sure I was acquainted to the aesthetic metropolis. He will immediately push aside the importance of his own career to make room for amusement for others.”

Jaejoong’s words appeared to have sketched a lucid picture. Reading the concise excerpt, Yunho felt as if he had relived that delightful day all over again.

He felt as if he had fallen in love with the beauty once more.

But it was the next few words which startled him; which made him realize just how well Jaejoong understood him.

“He’s just like any human-lazy, clumsy, foolish. He might have the appearance of an award winning actor, but inside, he strives to live the normal life just like the rest of us.”

Yunho was speechless. Every word Jaejoong wrote down was the absolute and only truth. The actor felt as if he had learned more about himself through the article than he ever had living within himself for years. And for a moment there, remorse overcame him for saying such dry things to Jaejoong’s revealed, open heart.

“The award winning actor doesn’t dine extravagantly unless he is required. When I asked him of his favourite food, he immediately replied with the word ‘ramen.’ “I’m always working late and travelling… it’s the most convenient food for me to eat. I’ve been taking quite a liking to it.” The actor informed me. Although I was completely astonished by his words, I could clearly relate to him and his opinions.”

He grinned at Jaejoong’s words, eyeing the extravagant breakfast which stood before him, dancing in its lustre. It was things like these which tore the two of them apart, and the actor desired to push plates off the table, making sure his luxurious life was well-sabotaged.

“He is rather amusing to speak with, for we have argued plenty amount of times during our month together." The article continued. "The actor is a bit of a tease, especially when it comes to quarrelling and friendly arguments. There isn’t another man in this world that I would rather quarrel with than the actor himself.”

He grinned, replaying their playful memories inside his head.

“Yunho’s love interests are complicated yet completely simple. Unlike what others assume, Yunho isn’t quite fond of his lavish lifestyle, and therefore doesn’t prefer a celebrity for his partner. He quarries for someone simple, someone who will treasure him like no other-someone who won’t use him for her own good. In the entertainment industry, it is exceptionally difficult to find a partner who has the innocence for an everyday relationship, and so Yunho intends to search for a mate outside the industry, hoping she will brighten up his day without making too much of a fuss.”

“There has also been the possibility of creating a relationship with a fan. As you may all know, Jung Yunho’s fan base is quite large, and yet, it is also filled with members who would support him until the end. That kind of support is what Yunho strives for in his ideal woman.”

The man lifted an eyebrow, sceptical at the reporter’s words. Jaejoong had certainly mentioned the ‘fan’ in his article because of his experiences, not because the actor had actually told him of such a fact.

It was certainly not a lie though… at least, not entirely. Somewhere deep within the article, the fan-boy had nearly boasted about the relationship shared with his idol!

“Almost like a bird in a cage, Yunho is fervent to depart his word of heavy entertainment desiring to taste the normal life of a mischievous man in his twenties. However, such a thing was impossible, especially after being recruited into the film industry at age twelve. Yunho barely had a childhood, mostly because the film industry required a young man with a plentiful amount of time he was willing to give up. On his road to becoming an actor, Yunho experienced many hardships, and therefore had to sacrifice his childhood for the rigorous training which lay before him.”

His knees weakened at Jaejoong’s words-at how much he cared, how much effort he put into Yunho’s life even before he received fame and wealth.

“It seems that nowadays, everyone is on good terms with Jung Yunho. Females want to date him while males strive to become like him. But behind his wealth and talent, does the same lustre remain?”

“The answer is yes. Spending this month with Yunho, I realized that it wasn’t his good looks I treasured or his experienced and polished talent. In my mind, the bond which kept us together was held within the warm conversations we shared together. He is not afraid to show his opinion, nor is he afraid to explore new places and ideas. He’s as open minded as any man can get, and his fans should be proud, having such a talented and compassionate man as their idol.”

Oh, how he wanted to embrace the last line. It wasn’t the fans who were lucky. In his opinion, it was the idol that benefitted from such astonishing fans. Kim Jaejoong wasn’t only an artistic fan-boy with a pretty face; he was the idol’s lover.

And the beast nearly despised himself to death for doubting his lover, even for a single second. A medley of remorse tied up within him, invoking the actor to realize that the innocuous admirer meant the least amount of harm to him.

His fictitious accusations were proved wrong. Kim Jaejoong was not a reporter for VX magazine. Like he said, he was nothing more than a university student, sent to Paris for an assignment and nothing more. The actor’s paranoia had claimed the best of him, allowing him to toss such harsh words right into his fan’s heart.

Was this how he treated his fans? If so, he should be damned, threatening the harmless Jaejoong who harvested so much love towards him.

He perused through the last paragraph, enthralled by Jaejoong’s astounding words.

“Although my month with the actor cruised by fast than I expected, I will always relish the beautiful moments we spent together. Yunho shines brightly among the actors of his time, and yet, if all the fame was taken away from him, he would shine just as brightly. Despite his complicated outer exterior, he has a heart that will make you feel like you’re in unspoiled rapture”

“I am grateful that such a talented man is part of our whimsical entertainment industry. Through his intimidating armour, the actor absolutely has no luxury, special needs, or irritating selfish attitudes. He is just like the rest of us-human.”

Finishing the tender-hearted newspaper article, Yunho could not feel any pride or success towards the positive publicity. Instead, the man only felt a dry and bitter sting in the centre of his heart, one which brought pain to every single nerve within his body.

He had doubted Jaejoong, the beauty who had taken the time to put so much care into him. He had mistaken his beauty for a devil, and it was only now that he was strong enough to discover the true face of beauty.

Kim Jaejoong-he was the definition of beauty; both inside and out.

And as he read the article, it appeared as if Jaejoong had ripped apart his chest, baring his heart to the actor, notifying the whole world of how lucky it was to have possession over him.

And to the actor’s surprise… he still does.

There was no need for Jaejoong to ask for forgiveness anymore, for the newspaper article had clearly elucidated everything.

The actor’s grip on the newspaper became tighter as the myriad of thoughts within him began to accumulate. Perhaps he should be punished for maiming Jaejoong’s fragile emotions, or better yet, he should be sent away forever, never coming in contact again with the human race. He was a ferocious beast, after all.

He wanted to distance his thoughts away from Jaejoong as much as possible, and yet, whenever he attempted to, he would always be washed over with the memory of Jaejoong’s tender smile and affectionate words.

It was a preposterous idea-trying to forget about Jaejoong, the man who had changed the course of his life.

He desired to see his beauty once again; he desired to capture his lips in his own for another time. And yet, even with the continuous longing, such a thing was impossible when Jaejoong was in Japan while the actor was nailed to Seoul and his nauseating acting career.

Changmin informed the two of them that there was to be no form of connection between them. The lack of association appeared so easy yesterday morning, but now, after reading the article, Yunho discovered that Changmin’s task was impossible to accomplish.

He needed to get in contact with his beauty. He needed to hear his voice, feel his touch, to taste his lips. And for a moment there, it was almost as if the actor would go insane without it.

Changmin’s rules and requirements didn’t matter to him anymore. He desired to find the bright Jaejoong-his heart now lost within the vast world. The actor yearned to break the rules once more to achieve his amusement.

Jaejoong was right: He was always a rebel, and he always will be.

5:55 AM Tokyo, Japan

Out of all the plane rides I’ve experienced, I must say that the one to Tokyo, Japan was by far the absolute worst. Although my obstacles were completely conquered, I found it rather difficult to forgo the emptiness and grief which still remained inside me. It felt as if I had not given up completely on my idol just yet, and that emotion, mixed with my repentance, was enough to drive me insane on the plane.

The memory of Yunho was as indelible as it was irksome. I desired to immigrate to Japan to start a new life, to experience new things, to fall in love with new idols. Or was I simply running away? Running away from the one thing I would dare to live without?

I had the courage to forget about him; to push him and the mistakes I made to the back of my mind. I would focus my motives to adjusting to Japan, finding a job here, and creating a new life for myself.

I wasn’t resolute to find myself mourning over the past and my hasty mistakes.

However, that was just what I did. I was struck with the phobia that I would always be detested by the actor, never being able to achieve a drop of his forgiveness during my entire lifetime.

Taking the local Tokyo subway, I momentarily found myself at the doorstep of Changmin’s Tokyo vacation home-or was it, my refugee camp now. I unlocked the door with the key I received from the manager, and stepped into the dark, vacant house.

I dropped my luggage into the bedroom, where furniture was already present. I collapsed onto the bed, trying to fall into a deep slumber.

Although it was my utmost dream to visit Japan one day, I couldn’t help but acquire bitterness towards my location. There wasn’t an ounce of energy within me to go sightseeing, nor was there any interest to spend the large amount of prize money I received the previous day. I ignored all thoughts of leaving the house, and instead let my eyelids drop before me, allowing sleep to inundate me.

725 miles. That’s how far Seoul was from Tokyo. And yet, I felt that double the distance stretched between the actor and me. What could I possibly do? Not only were we physically apart, but we were mentally separate, also.

You’re the worst mistake I’ve ever made. I scram loudly within my head. I want to give up on you, once and for all.

beauty and the beast