Beauty and the Beast | Chapter 18/20
Beauty and the Beast
Author: love_cassiopeia
Summary: Jung Yunho - a gifted and successful actor. Kim Jaejoong - Yunho's biggest fan. After receiving the task to interview Yunho for his journalism assignment, Jaejoong realizes that his favourite actor just might transform him from a "fan" into something much more.
Rated: PG-13 ~ NC-17
Disclaimer: I don’t own the five members, I’m simply borrowing them.
Warning(s): NC-17 material, language
Genre: Romance/Comedy
Pairing(s): YunJae
Chapter 18: A City of Doom
18.
A City of Doom
Bedroom, Changmin’s vacation home. 6:23 PM Tokyo, Japan
Lying on the bed-that’s what I usually found myself doing after moving to the traditional yet technology-savvy city of Tokyo.
I continuously reminded myself that I should scavenger the town for a job; mostly because I understood my pile of money would eventually wane away into nothing. But what could I possible do here? Would I become a waiter, a cashier? A magazine writer, or perhaps a video store owner who stocks thousands of Jung Yunho’s movies?
The vast choice of occupations didn’t appeal much to me-none of them. Instead, I ogled at the past with envy, yearning that somehow, I would be able to return to my simple and mirthful days in Seoul.
My most enrapturing moment during the past year took place in the bedroom of the Bora Bora Lagoon Resort. The actor had made love to me there, enamouring me with his lithe movements and seductive chants. I desired to experience such a delirium once more, in fact, I advocated for it day and night. The bed we shared was an asylum for my emotions, allowing me to claim him not only as my idol, but also as my lover.
After a series of hapless events however, such a thing was clearly miles away from possible. Would I ever be touched in such a way again? Would I be able to experience the thrill I felt weeks ago at Bora Bora ?
Disregarding my ethics, I lay on the bed, allowing my curious fingers to travel to the edge of my pants. I closed my eyes as I unbuckled my jeans, digging into my boxers as I reached my throbbing manhood.
I let my fingers take me wherever they desired, pumping my member until inundated with blood. I slipped my tongue from my breached mouth, wetting my lips as a deluge of lust began to conquer all the sanity within me. I let out a joyous moan, knowing that this type of sensation was what I had longed for.
Finding that my fingers were at an inconvenience, I slipped off my jeans and my boxers, allowing myself full access to my core of lust. Oh, how I’ve yearned for this since the last time it occurred. Oh, how I’ve missed it.
I felt that it was certainly impossible to grant myself full pleasure without having to close my eyes. Letting my eyelids drop before me, I permitted my imagination to take me where it desired. I imagined Yunho above me, his glare lusting for my own as his fingers entwined around my member. It was working-quite well I must say.
Panting out in pleasure, every touch from Yunho became more and more realistic. Acting like a fool, I cried out his name, the sweet syllables jumping off the edge of my tongue.
“Yunho…” Oh, how seductively such syllables were strung together.
Perhaps I was acting ridiculous. Perhaps I had gone overboard with my emotions for Yunho, forgetting that he had already expunged himself of the irksome predicaments I brought along. Perhaps I was too stubborn to admit that he had abandoned me long ago, reluctant to have anything to do with me again. Or perhaps I was too weak; to damn fragile to rid my haughty mind of his presence.
If I really sought to forget about him, why was I here now, my hand upon my erection and my psyche dominated by thoughts of him? Why had I brought him back into full memory instead of ignoring the times spent with him? I, myself, did not fully understand-or want to understand.
But in the end, I was forced to admit the truth. The thoughts of him enchanted me; they delighted me. He was my idol, and he would continue to interest me, no matter where I was or how I was feeling.
Or… maybe I was just crazy.
I spent half of the morning within the mattress, letting myself enjoy every bit of the unique sensation. I let myself waste away, indolently ignoring what I actually needed at the moment. All thoughts of job-hunting escaped my mind, leaving me full access to my amusing activity.
There was nothing left for me here. I didn’t belong here, and I stubbornly didn’t want to belong here. My fairytale ceased to exist here, and it was a bit ridiculous to see it burn to ashes in only mere seconds.
Was this how my story ended? So miserably, so mindlessly-so pathetically?
“Why me?” I screamed out-my first words in nearly seventy-two hours. I removed my fingers from my now tranquil member, knowing that I would be enticed no more by the same pair of fingers. I let myself depart the mattress to the bathroom, allowing the running water to skim over my tainted fingertips.
I really had no intention to, but I had nearly vomited by the time my eyes caught a glimpse of my corrupted reflection in the bathroom mirror. Dark circles had formed beneath my now emotionless eyes, riding me of the usual lustre seen within my pupils. My pale skin had blanched to an even deadlier shade of white, showing no evidence of life as my eyes scanned across the landscape. It had appeared as if I had lost a ridiculous amount of weight, not from the lack of food, but from the extraneous amount of worry.
And to compare this monster to the previous Jaejoong, such a thing was obviously unneeded. Even a blind man would tell who was more beautiful than the other.
What happened to the Jaejoong who every female (and male) was after? What happened to his flirtatious spirit that won him the idol’s heart? This Jaejoong I saw in the mirror-it took quite a while until I recognized who he really was.
He was a beauty no more. Without his beast, the beauty failed to exist.
It was ironic, wasn’t it? I wondered if such a thing would have the possibility of working vice versa. Without me by his side, would Yunho’s heavy armour shatter, allowing him to showcase his entire soul to everyone who was willing to see?
Impossible. The beast will always remain a beast; there was no force in the universe that was strong enough to challenge the fact.
Drowning within my own disgust, I arrived back into my dismal bedroom. Even though night had arrived, I was idle to touch the light switch. I let the darkness engulf every inch of me, hoping it would be able to cure the perpetuating pain which loitered through every corner of my body.
I closed my eyes, longing for my beauty to return to my body. Where would I find the cure to my depression, and how would I repair the many scars on my now demeaning countenance?
How would I be beautiful once more-inside and out?
Was such a beauty even possible in this world?
It was then when the sudden initiative came to me. There was one single place in the world which I could go to in order to repair my broken beauty.
I would go to Paris, France.
It made quite a lot of sense. The city of Paris was covered in gold, in patina, in everything that a beauty needed. It was the city which defined beauty, and it was also the same exact place where I was given the fickle opportunity to fall in love with the actor.
Oh yes, Paris was certainly the place to go if I desperately wanted my beauty back.
I immediately logged onto my laptop as soon as my thoughts were settled in their correct places. Within moments, I had booked a flight to Paris for this upcoming Wednesday-a first class ticket, considering the large amount of prize money still resting within my wallet.
I was washed over by pristine tranquillity as I retired to the mattress that night. I was contended to visit Paris for the next week, to reacquaint myself with the familiar sensation of joy. I would return to Japan with a positive mindset, allowing my memories of Yunho to fade away into nothing.
But before I let that happen, I must go to Paris-to revisit my love for him one last time.
Bedroom, Yunho’s home. 10:40 PM Seoul, South Korea
“You bastard! Didn’t you ever think of the consequences that you’d receive if anyone saw you?”
It was as expected; the manager was unintentionally aggravated once more. It was not because of his own doing that he had decided to throw his inevitable tantrum. Like always, his anger was constructed by his one and only actor-once a source of joy for him, believe it or not. The actor’s mistake could not be ignored, especially during a time like this, when the public and media were tremendously meddlesome.
“I just don’t understand why.” The manager paced about the actor’s bedroom, bitterness painted on his model-like countenance. “One copy of the paper was enough! Why did you suddenly sneak out in the middle of the night to buy fifty?”
The manager was not the only man in the room who was enervated by his deep hatred and fury. In fact, the actor’s aggravation had topped the manager’s, allowing the same bitter expression to dominate his features.
“So what if I bought fifty copies? Why does it matter to you?” Yunho responded, using up his entire body of strength to hurl the livid set of words at the manager. “Jaejoong has parted from me now, and there’s one out of a million chances that I’ll ever be able to see him again. Why are you so resolute to tear the two of us apart even further?”
The manager scoffed at the actor’s words, carrying a demeaning glare. “Wasn’t that what you wanted in the beginning?” He inquired, an amused tone in his voice. “To be as far away from the ‘traitor’ as possible?”
“Well…I-I was wrong!” The actor replied, hesitant. “And after reading that newspaper article… I understood that he was anything but a traitor.”
“So you buy fifty copies of the paper, thinking that it’ll somehow mean something.”
Yunho nodded.
Changmin let a laugh escape his lips. “Your effort towards ‘loving’ Jaejoong is tainted with guilt, Yunho!” He bellowed. “You only did such a thing because you felt sorry for the boy and wanted to take back your harsh words! In the end, you’re just afraid that karma is going to arrive on your doorstep and offer you the pain you deserve.”
The actor had just about taken enough. “Karma?” He asked, incredulous. “You think karma and its consequences have not yet arrived to me? I’m forced to work two fucking years in this hellhole of a film industry, while the same time, Jaejoong is sent to an alien country and forced to start a new life there! Meanwhile, you think my consequences are not enough?”
“I’m not trying to put more consequences on your shoulders.” The manger explained, hoping it would be able to rid the actor of his frustration. “I’m just asking you to be more careful, that’s all.”
I was careful, was I not?” He mischievously responded. “It was night when I went to the newsstand to purchase my newspapers. I also wore sunglasses and a large coat. No one would’ve recognized me!”
“But the employees at VX Magazine already know your connection with Jaejoong.” Changmin argued. “With the newspaper out, I’m sure they are able to infer Jaejoong’s deep admiration of you! If anyone-even a fan-were to catch a glimpse of you buying fifty copies of that newspaper, and such information landed in the hands of VX Magazine, who knows what could’ve happened!”
The actor was rendered unable to speak after the manager’s solemn words. He was usually negligent over the manager’s repetitive warnings, but today, everything had turned upside-down, reversing the whole scenario. He had actually listened to every word-every sentence, every insult, and he hated himself quite a lot for paying such serious attention.
“I don’t understand.” Yunho mumbled, not quite sure what to say. “If the magazine did publish our kiss in its issue, would you be worried for my career and the disgusting way society would look upon me, or are you worried for the company? Worried that Sony Film Studios would dwindle from my careless mistake?”
“I-I…”
“I think the latter would be an obvious choice.” Yunho declared, lowering his voice. “Tell me, Changmin, do you still care about me like you did years ago?”
The manager let out a deep sigh, resting on the edge of the mattress beside the actor. He laid his fingers on the actor’s broad shoulders, offering him a gentle smile.
“Nonsense.” Changmin spoke, this time in a congenial and gentle tone. “There has been no such thing. As your manager, I am obligated to put your emotions into consideration, to offer you comfort whenever you are in need of it. Believe it or not, it’s in my job description.” His smile widened immediately, replacing the bitter frown which dominated his features in the beginning. “A manager does not only do his job for mere money, he does it because he wants to-because he’s committed himself to it.”
Yunho lifted his head and glanced into Changmin’s pupils, realizing that there was a large portion of concern within them.
“And with your tedious and stubborn attitude…” The manager continued. “Any manager would’ve resigned on the first day. But I understand you, Yunho. I understand your struggle for the truth and the utter passion you had towards Jaejoong. I just want the two of you to be safe, that’s why I’m pushing the two of you so far apart.”
The actor sighed, letting a slight grin dominate his lips. “I-I… I don’t know what to say.” He confessed. “I must’ve caused you a legion of trouble, especially after I escaped to Bora Bora without leaving a single clue behind.” He scoffed at his own absurdity, shaking his head in dismay. “And even after that, you were willing to offer VX Magazine that large amount of money which funded for my mistakes. I really should be thanking you, not despising you.”
The manager smirked, giving the actor a slight pat on the back. “And I should be thanking you.” He clarified. “For bringing me an ocean full of success and happiness.” He brought the actor into his arms, offering him a forthcoming embrace. “There’s not a second when I’m not proud to be your manager.”
The two attractive and talented men assembled themselves upon the mattress in truce, allowing their voices a bit of rest from their petulant yelling match earlier. The two of them were drowned in guilt, completely disgusted at themselves for allowing their lips to slip such acidic words towards each other. The manager was to assist his actor, as the actor was to listen to his manager. Such immature behaviour was intolerable within the stringent entertainment industry.
“Well, I should be leaving now, shouldn’t I?” The manager left his position on the mattress, straightening his collar as he stood up. “We’re leaving for Paris tomorrow, and you wouldn’t want to miss out on a good night’s sleep, now would you?”
The actor directed his attention to the empty suitcase situated at the corner of his bedroom. “I’ve still got quite a lot of packing to do.” Yunho explained. “We have a lot of filming ahead of us to finish-most of which I don’t bother doing.” He stated the truth. He was a versatile actor after all, being able to handle every obstacle which came his way. “I’m sure that that director must be livid… considering I escaped to Bora Bora right in the middle of our filming.”
The taller man let out a bantering chuckle. “You’d better get on good terms with that director.” He walked towards the exit of the room, planning to depart the actor. “I’m sure he’s pretty pissed off by you now.”
Yunho smirked as his manager began to depart the dark bedroom, leaving him by himself within his silent quarters. He had a lot more to say to his friend, but most of which he would not impel himself to say.
With his last words echoing throughout the bedroom, the manager departed the actor’s mansion and returned to his own; making sure the entertainer would receive a large amount of sleep to fuel his energy that would be needed for the upcoming day.
The actor didn’t allow sleep to deluge his body immediately after Changmin parted. There was too much on his mind-too much information that he would rather live without. The utter anxiety of leaving for Paris the next day was leaving him fretful and agitated, pushing sleep to the back of his mind. The city of Paris had Jaejoong’s name written all over it. How would be able to survive in such a city without him there?
Out of anxiety, he began to frantically pack, throwing in random pieces of his wardrobe into the large suitcase. He wouldn’t go to Paris even if it was the last place on earth. Without his beauty there, the city’s luminosity might as well just diminish into ashes.
He would fail to see the elegance of the European fairyland. He would fail to see the luxury, the lights, and the extravagance. Without Jaejoong, even the most beautiful city on earth would appear to be a city of pure doom.
He did not desire to revisit Paris. If he arrived in such a city once again, he would be haunted by his memories, leaving him to crave of his past and of his uncorrected mistakes.
He let himself rest on the large mattress, pulling the covers over his head to block out the entire world. He had no intention to lament over the horrors of tomorrow, but he was forced to as he dreamed-this time of a city stripped of its radiance.
He couldn’t receive a drop of sleep that night, and a part of him reminded himself that there was a small chance that he ever would.
I’m afraid YunJae didn’t meet up (again) in this chapter. And it was a bit short, I know. I had a fever these past few days and I ended up feeling horrible all week. So therefore writing was the last thing on my mind. I really had no intention to write, but I knew I had to, or else it would just eat me up from inside.
Oh yes, and I’ll tell you something perhaps you’d be eager to hear: the process of the pictures being taken by VX Magazine will be revealed in the next chapter!
Okay, I’ll shut up now. Thank you for the readers who suggested songs for the OST in the last chapter. I’ve started working on it. I’ll post it on the last update of this fic.
Please comment, dears <3
-Cindy
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 Part 1 | Chapter 16 Part 2 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18
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