Pulsatilla | Chapter 4/?
Pulsatilla
Author: love_cassiopeia
Summary: A complete mess was what Jung Yunho became after his beloved wife’s death. Trapped in a permanent state of isolation and loneliness, Yunho summons his knowledge on biology in hopes of recreating his wife in the form of an artificial human. However, the experiment goes terribly wrong and instead creates a male who has all his wife’s looks and qualities, one who he eventually decides to name ‘Jaejoong.’ Coping with the idyllic memories Jaejoong brings back of his wife, Yunho tries his best not to fall in love with his creation, knowing that the love he brings along is not the real thing-or is it?
Rated: PG-13 - NC-17
Warning(s): NC-17 material, language
Genre: Romance/Angst
Pairing(s): YunJae
Chapter 4: Baignoire
Definition: The Pulsatilla is a deciduous perennial flower native to Europe and Asia that grows in the leftover nutrients of a dead plant. It is usually grown to replace another plant. It is capable of curing diseases and may be used in remedies.
B a i g n o i r e
*
The drive home was an exhausting one, both in time and in the utter silence that engulfed the vehicle. Jaejoong considered that perhaps he had done something to anger Yunho, for the scientist now had a crestfallen look on his complexion (one which seemed to be permanently plastered upon his handsome face). But even if it wasn’t Jaejoong, an average man with a typical IQ would discern that Yunho was utterly disappointed-disappointed by himself, that is.
Jaejoong had wanted to console his creator for his mistakes, but abruptly decided against it as soon as he remembered Yunho’s heavy temper which erupted the previous morning. He had worn a face telling Jaejoong to leave him alone, almost like he wanted not a single thing to do with him. It was just a bit strange, seeing Yunho come to the rescue all of a sudden when he seemed to have the least amount of heroic qualities a mere twelve hours ago.
He found Yunho’s behaviour quite whimsical. After all, when Yunho punched the older man and barged into the apartment, he had referred to him as his ‘wife.’ Wasn’t it just this morning when he convinced him that he wasn’t? Wasn’t it just this morning when he told him not to refer to him as ‘husband’ or ‘dear?”
Jaejoong obviously didn’t know much about the human world, for he himself had not been here for long. Being forced to adapt to the surroundings, he was only offered Yunho’s wife’s genes as a cornerstone to construct his memories and actions. For goodness' sake, he had only stepped out of an iron chamber the size of a refrigerator two days ago at the time of his birth; he had definitely not appeared from within a woman’s womb.
Pondering over his birth, Jaejoong thought that perhaps that was the only difference he had from a real human. He had a mind for memories, a layer of skin for either pain or pleasure, and a mind capable of making discrete judgments. But there was also a part of him that told himself that he would never be the same as a human-as Yunho, as Seulki. Seulki had already vanished off the face of this earth, and no one held the capability of imitating her life in the same exact way she lived it.
He stared out of the foggy car windows, trying to take in the beautiful, high-tech capital city into his mind. And for the first time, Jaejoong experienced sadness; grief.
And it hurt so much; a lot more than physical pain or the pain that man brought upon him as he entranced into his body.
Yunho let out a sigh of relief as soon as the two of them returned to the penthouse, locking the door securely behind them. The scientist could think of absolutely nothing to do with the boy at the moment. It was only this morning when he despised him like no other, begging for him to leave him be. And now, he was the one responsible for bringing him safe and sound back to his home-was this planet his home? He felt utterly absurd, committing such abstruse tasks in a single twenty-four hours.
It was three ‘o clock AM, and Yunho was terribly fatigued; but something motivated him to stay up just an extra hour. Besides, he needed to have an extra few moments with Jaejoong, even if he knew those few moments would most likely turn out to be useless.
“Um, Jaejoong… you should take a bath.”
The boy’s eyes lit up with even the slightest amount of optimism as Yunho spoke for the first time in hours. “Ah yes, I should.” He agreed. “After all, my hygiene is not exactly in a presentable condition right now.”
The scientist tried to force a smile onto his face to offer the boy, for his voice was just so appealing and gentle to grimace at. “I’ll get the bath water running for you, all right?”
He nodded in return. “Yes, thank you.”
As Yunho headed off to the bathroom, he couldn’t help but muse over the fact that the boy had not yet indicated him as ‘husband’ or dear’ all night. A part of him was enormously glad, and yet, another was tremendously devastated and remorseful.
He, the one who made this boy, wanted to claim that he never did. It was more than difficult to admit, but it was a crucial detail which caused every dilemma in his life to make sense.
Jaejoong soon followed his creator’s footsteps after notice of the bath water was given out. He stepped into the bathroom and gave Yunho a smile of gratitude before the scientist prepared to step out.
“One more thing, Jaejoong.” Yunho stated. “Just… try to wash away everything that happened to you tonight, all right? We don’t need you to remember those unpleasant memories that man forced upon you, okay?” He asked.
“It… wasn’t forced upon me.”
Yunho frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I… I guess I agreed with him, you know, somewhere along those shots of soju.”
Yunho sighed apologetically in response. “Jaejoong… don’t feel guilty.” He wanted to solace him, hoping to efface the unbearable look in his eyes. “Your body might’ve agreed, but I’m sure your heart didn’t.”
Despite the comment, the pain from sleeping with another and cheating on his supposed ‘husband’ was just driving him completely insane.
He stripped himself of the single white blanket that covered his naked body immediately after Yunho left. He hesitantly stepped into the water, thinking that perhaps, he didn’t deserve Yunho’s care and comfort after what he had previously done today.
He engulfed his full body into the bath water. The liquid was hot, too hot, but the painful feeling made him realize that perhaps he was human after all. And for a moment, he wondered what it would be like to have Yunho, not that man he met at the nightclub, trapped so deeply inside him.
For the first time in his ephemeral life, he let his tears fall. He could see the tiny droplets, falling elegantly into the pool, joining in with the steaming water. This was the fate of all humans-to join each other within a sea of happiness.
But now, all alone within the bathroom, he felt that the situation could never happen to him within his entire lifetime. He felt so lonely, so lost, so desperate for just someone to hold onto.
So, listening to his instincts, he called out to the one person who was capable of being that someone.
“Yunho?” He called out several times, hoping his voice would surpass the door that stood between the two of them. He didn’t want to annoy the scientist, for he knew he was exceptionally busy, but he needed him right now, at his weakest stage.
Unlike what Jaejoong predicted, the taller man barged in within a few seconds, anxiety painted on his countenance. “Oh God, Jaejoong, I should’ve known better not to keep you by yourself in here!” His quavering voice pronounced. “Is everything all right?”
Jaejoong was astonished to see that Yunho had hurried in so quickly, but a part of him was immensely indebted.
He shook his head. “No, nothing is wrong.” He declared. “I just… want you to stay here with me… please.”
Hearing the terrified trembling in his voice and seeing the tears in his eyes for the first time, perhaps Yunho felt a little weak himself. He wanted to surmount the pain and the tears which invoked him to stay, but he just couldn’t leave this boy by himself. It was too difficult.
“I’m here.” He finally agreed, trying to force a courageous smile onto his lips. He hoped that even though he didn’t want anything to occur between him and Jaejoong, he would try to help him cope through whatever he was going through.
He watched the boy’s pliant body as he moved about the bathtub, trying to clean himself off with a bar of soap. Yunho scrutinized the wet strands of ebony hair that hung loosely above Jaejoong’s face-the scene nearly killed him. He couldn’t deny how utterly stunning Jaejoong looked. If he wasn’t careful, he would’ve easily swept the boy off his feet, carried him into the bedroom, and penetrated him just fulfil his own guilty pleasures.
He had never seen anyone so beautiful, that is, anyone except his wife.
With a sigh of grief, Yunho decided to start a conversation. “Jaejoong… I have a question to ask you. If you don’t feel comfortable talking about it, then feel free not to answer.” He explained.
Jaejoong nodded ingenuously. “What is it?”
“Did you…” Yunho trailed off. “Enjoy your night with that man?”
Jaejoong was shocked by his creator’s questions. He had no idea how the answer would be of any benefit to him. Yunho had been furious about the entire situation moments ago, why would he want to know about the details?
For Jaejoong, humans were far too difficult to understand; that was a fact.
After a few moments of a hesitant pause, he finally decided to answer. “I knew it was wrong from the beginning to feel anything, but that influx of pleasure kept conquering over me.” He admitted shamefully. “When that man entered me, I could feel happiness-like I was actually wanted by someone. It felt a bit lonely, having you ignore me all day.”
Yunho didn’t know how to reply to a single word Jaejoong pronounced. This was the answer he was most afraid of. He was terrified of Jaejoong taking a liking to another. He was unable to allow a part of his wife to be dominated by love for another. He wanted every part of her-and Jaejoong-to be his.
“Is it wrong to feel that happiness?” Jaejoong questioned when Yunho didn’t answer. “Is it wrong to feel that inescapable pleasure?” He asked as another tear escaped his left eye.
The scientist immediately came to the rescue and wiped the single tear off Jaejoong’s silky cheek. “No, Jaejoong, it’s never wrong.” He tried to console. “He didn’t hurt you or anything, right?”
Jaejoong shook his head.
“All right, at least that’s a start.” Yunho responded cheekily, trying to exhilarate the desolate atmosphere. “At least you're still safe and sound after all this.
Jaejoong didn’t know how to react, for there was still a portion of tension that remained unsolved between them. Did Yunho actually care about him? Or was he simply paying attention because he didn’t want to lose his wife entirely?
“If you’d like, I could erase the occurrences of tonight from your memory.” Yunho noted. “If you’d like the memories removed, I’d be glad to do such a thing for you.”
Jaejoong held out his hand in denial. “There’s no need for that.” He denied. “I need it for experience-so I don’t have to make the same mistake again.”
Yunho nodded in response. “Of course.”
“And tonight… it was the first time you ever referred to me as your wife. I would never want that memory deleted from my mind.”
Jaejoong's sentence caused a dormant portion of Yunho to capriciously awaken. He hadn’t really pondered over his sudden outburst a few hours ago, but considered that he only let the words slip due to his uncontrollable temper at the time. The thirty-year old man Jaejoong met at the nightclub appeared confused nonetheless, especially because his victim was a male.
Could he really call Jaejoong his wife? He wasn’t sure.
But despite the quandary that overwhelmed him, he chose to align an effervescent grin on his lips. “Did you like that?” Yunho asked in a gentle tone. “Me calling you ‘my wife?’”
Jaejoong chuckled. “Of course. It was flattering beyond belief.” There was a certain hint of femininity in his voice. “But I won’t force you to continue it. After all, it’s your decision in the end whether you want anything to do with me or not. Besides, you didn’t necessarily seem pleased with me this morning.”
Yunho let out a sorrowful sigh. “Yes, I’m terribly sorry about that.” He conceded. “I even threw the meal you made away… I feel worse than horrible.”
“You threw my food away?”
Yunho had no idea that such a declaration even escaped his lips. “Yeah, um… I’m awfully sorry.” He apologized, trying to sound as sincere as he could.
“Ah, I’d best brush up on my cooking skills then.” Jaejoong elucidated. “It’s worse enough, having the food wasted… but having you not eat it-it makes me rather intolerable.”
A tightened pain met at Yunho’s chest as he recalled the fact that he threw the meal away only due to his own miserable paranoia. Now, with Jaejoong’s true colours revealed, he wanted nothing more than to nurture this boy and to give him the best he could offer. Eating his meals was definitely the best way to initiate it.
After a long conversation in the bathroom, Jaejoong dried off his slender body and slipped into a pair of pajamas offered by Yunho. Although he wasn’t human, Jaejoong still felt relatively exhausted after an entire day of physical and emotional strain. After soaking in the bathtub for quite a ridiculous amount of time, there was nothing he craved more but a chance to rest.
Yunho directed him to the single bedroom, furnished by a large, luxurious, queen-sized bed Yunho once shared with his wife. Making sure that Jaejoong was well-tucked into the blankets, Yunho let the light fade, causing darkness to deluge the spacious room. He let his fingers and hungry eyes graze over the boy’s silky skin once again, reminding himself that he should be exceptionally cautious not to let loose to claim Jaejoong as his own.
“Sweet dreams.” He whispered as he left the bedroom. The scientist closed the door and found a comfortable place on the soft living room sofa. Only today did he realize that he had shared so much chemistry with Jaejoong. They had conversed for what seemed like hours in the bathroom, and although there might still be moments of tongue-tied silence between the two of them, he knew that he would eventually obliterate them once he got to know Jaejoong better.
He didn’t want to admit it, but it was like being with his wife once again.
He exhaled, laying his head on one of the soft cushions of the sofa. He tried his best to attain sleep, but after moments of darkness with his eyes tightly shut, he still couldn’t help but return once again to the thought of the aesthetic Jaejoong.
It was absurd; the boy even spoke like his wife.
Although he had strongly regretted creating him at first, the scientist discovered a certain excitement living with Jaejoong. Every morning, he would come face to face with the bright morning sunshine meeting Jaejoong’s skin in a shade so delightful that it almost appeared that he would receive dose of energy before starting his day. Jaejoong would then make a large breakfast for him, one which he could barely fit into his stomach. The home-style cooking, the clean house, the endless smiles-Yunho felt as if he had been blessed by an angel.
It was fairly amusing for Yunho, seeing Jaejoong run around the house dressed in the business suits he usually allocated for work, which consisted of black, pinstripe pieces with ties attached. Perhaps it made Jaejoong seem more like a butler than a wife. Nonetheless, as Jaejoong pulled an apron over his body, there was no doubt of him looking exactly like Seulki. Whenever Yunho caught a glimpse of Jaejoong standing over the stove, he would experience a sudden jolt of ecstasy, reminding himself that perhaps he really could live on with him by his side.
But despite Jaejoong’s pristine spirits and lovely habits, Yunho couldn’t find the time to cherish every piece of him. Like usual, work occupied every corner of his life, bringing the thought of spending valuable one-on-one time with Jaejoong into the ‘impossible’ category. Things were busier than ever at the company, and even though he despised himself for thinking it, he knew that Jaejoong would remain a burden to him, just as his wife did.
There was still so much he didn’t know about Jaejoong. How close to a human was he really? Could he possibly do things an average human couldn’t? And, perhaps, could he be infected by viruses and diseases that plagued the human world?
But the truth was, Yunho had no intention to discover the truth. He enjoyed sharing life with Jaejoong just knowing that he was there. If he dug too deep into his components and the enigmas that lay behind him, he obviously would return to the fact that he was never human or Seulki. And that angered him quite a lot: knowing that he was still a mistake, in the end.
Was he glad to have made such a mistake? He wasn’t quite sure himself.
After his long day of competing against his wise (and egoistic rival), Lee JoongYoung, at work, he was relieved to finally return to Jaejoong with that same, welcoming smile on his lips. There was nothing better, he wanted to tell himself, than to have a beautiful and kind-hearted person waiting for you after a hectic day of rigorous work.
In spite of the late hours Yunho worked, Jaejoong would stay up as long as possible, following in Seulki’s footsteps and waiting for his so-called ‘husband’ to return for dinner. He tried to perfect every dish, enhance every ingredient, and to over-complicate every dessert. It was just so utterly amusing for him, staying home and doing Yunho’s laundry, planning extravagant meals for him.
Late at night, when Yunho brought back work and barely slept, Jaejoong would awake from his slumber and make mugs of hot coffee or tea for Yunho, all the while telling him to obtain even the slightest amount of sleep. Jaejoong enjoyed it more than anything in the entire world, taking care of a loved one.
Did he actually love Yunho? He wasn’t quite sure. But a part of him desired nothing more but to be with him every single day; to hear him laugh, to have mindless conversations with him. Yunho was his creator, after all.
For the first time since his wife had passed away, Yunho’s house was finally clean. For the first time, the curtains were pulled aside, allowing ample amounts of comforting sunshine into the once-dismal penthouse. For the first time, his home didn’t feel so empty anymore.
Jaejoong had put so much care into Yunho, worked extremely hard, and stayed up so many hours despite the minimal attention he could offer him. Although Yunho returned home at late hours and ignored the boy’s hard work and effort at times, he would continue do what he did best without any complaints.
Since the day after Jaejoong lost his ‘virginity,’ Yunho could feel an unbreakable bond with his creation. He considered that finally, he would not have to hate this boy so much anymore.
So Yunho decided to do something in his honour to thank him. After all, the boy still needed new clothes and new items for his new life. For Yunho, it was almost like having to take care of a newborn-you know, minus the crying and the dirty diapers.
Have you guys seen it? The light at the end of the tunnel? Yes, things will start to look brighter from now on. But the two of them will still without a doubt have problems that plague their everyday lives. So, be happy, but not too happy XD
Speaking of happy, I just returned home from the concert! It's amazing how talented people can be =D That explains why I was a few hours late in updating today.
Thank you guys for supporting me. I really don’t know how I could possibly continue to write this fic without your support. So please, if you have time, drop off a piece a feedback!
-Cindy
Previous Chapters:
R é s u l t a t | A l i é n é | D é s o l é | B a i g n o i r e
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