Pulsatilla | Chapter 13/?

[love_cassiopeia]

Pulsatilla
Author: love_cassiopeia
Summary: A complete mess was what Jung Yunho became after his beloved wife’s death. Trapped in a permanent state of isolation and loneliness, Yunho summons his knowledge on biology in hopes of recreating his wife in the form of an artificial human. However, the experiment goes terribly wrong and instead creates a male who has all his wife’s looks and qualities, one who he eventually decides to name ‘Jaejoong.’ Coping with the idyllic memories Jaejoong brings back of his wife, Yunho tries his best not to fall in love with his creation, knowing that the love he brings along is not the real thing-or is it?
Rated: PG-13 - NC-17
Warning(s): NC-17 material, language
Genre: Romance/Angst
Pairing(s): YunJae
Chapter 13: Scientifique

Definition: The Pulsatilla is a deciduous perennial flower native to Europe and Asia that grows in the leftover nutrients of a dead plant. It is usually grown to replace another plant. It is capable of curing diseases and may be used in remedies.




S c i e  n t i f i q u e s

*

When the next morning made its appearance, Yunho’s eyes were already opened-alert but extremely tired from refusing to close them despite the amount of sleep he craved. He felt as if he had been sleeping the entire night with his eyes open, staring blankly at the TV which had been on for what seemed like ages. Watching the filaments arrange themselves accordingly on his living room clock, Yunho waited until the thick hand reached the number six, knowing that by then, he would finally be able to visit the government facility and ultimately, see his Jaejoong.

He felt as if he had been thinking for way too long, but also that he had not thought about nearly enough. He felt like a hypocrite, in more ways than one, and the thought instantly brought a cacophonic headache to his mind, punishing him for every decision he made and every catastrophe he had brought upon himself.

The news which continued broadcasting on the television was depressing to watch. There was a murder there, a kidnapping her-countries harbouring deep hatred towards each other simply because the two were desperate for oil and money. A deep ocean of guilt drowned Yunho as he realized he was the one responsible for bringing Jaejoong into this abominable world, not being able to provide him with a prolonged childhood where he could learn things by experiencing them  and live life with a solid starting point. Creating him to replace his wife however, did nothing to provide Jaejoong with a starting point. In fact, it had dragged him into the world, putting him on the chopping board without permitting him to act like a child (which in the end, was all that he was).

Watching the thick hand of the clock linger to the number six and the thinner, longer one situate itself upon the number twelve, the scientist brought himself out of his uncomfortable perch on the sofa, grabbing his keys and approaching the front door. Nearly forgetting, Yunho headed back into his apartment to fetch a few pages of notes and documents he had collected while he was making Jaejoong. He knew the documents would be handy to the government who was currently trying to craft others exactly like Jaejoong, bringing them into this hellish world by placing them in specific occupations-which Yunho thought was really quite pathetic at the point. But considering the only way to initiate the government project was to first and foremost figure out what Jaejoong really was, Yunho had no choice but to hand over his most precious possession for experimenting in hopes that he would have him back in his arms as soon as possible.

With his keys in one hand and a manila folder filled with charts, diagrams, and notes in the other, Yunho left the apartment with the TV still on; his electricity bill was the last thing on his mind at that moment. He reached the underground parking lot within a matter of minutes, turned the ignition on his black sedan, and steered himself out of the gloomy, morose, humid underground lot.

He had the location of Seoul’s Lab for Biology and Research sketched out vividly in his mind as he drove through the empty streets which made Seoul look roughly like a ghost town. He didn’t need directions. He was familiar enough with the ‘labs.’ In Yunho’s workplace, the employees were the ones who did the brainstorming while the employees at the government labs did more hands-on experiments such as putting the results of their brainstorming into action. Although the two different branches all required rigorous hard work and a more-than-perfect resume, the employees were paid a very amiable salary in which they could easily ravish themselves in opulence. The work appealed to him once upon a time, but eventually, the job began to lose its primary lustre, making Yunho feel that he was only doing this for the money. Like every selfish, corrupted man in the world, Yunho did all the tiring work for one thing: money.

As if money could buy you love and happiness, Yunho mocked himself as he drove through the streets that were entirely submerged in a cryptic fog. In fact, it will take all your happiness away from you, he confirmed as he took the hostile death of Kim Seulki into consideration.

As he saw his destination within the near background, he began to feel sick to his stomach. He had only summoned up his entire body of strength and skill to create Jaejoong as a lover-as someone to hold onto during cold nights and brutal deadlocks. He had no intent whatsoever of handing the beautiful piece of work into the hands of the government labs where they would use him for absurd reasons and made him feel more artificial than he already was. He immediately felt as if he had lost his life with Jaejoong entirely and that the two of them would have no possible way of returning to the euphoria of their life before, even if he was currently doing all that he could to reinstate the exuberant spirit embellished within his past life.

Exiting the car with the file clutched tightly in his hands almost as if he was clutching an ancient but fragile artefact, Yunho entered the building where a secretary met with him straight away, her commanding eyes fearless and intrepid as she greeted him.

It was certainly strange to see women working in places like these. Although the notorious and frowned-upon idea of women in the workplace was destroyed practically a century ago, Yunho still felt that there would be an insignificant amount of women who have the guts to situate herself into a top secret government facility where no work was allowed to be revealed out of their doors. Usually, the women who worked here were thin and stern, having rugged square faces and lacking an exceptional body that a man would go crazy for. These women were a complete contrast of Seulki and Jaejoong-even if Jaejoong was not a woman to begin with. Yet, Yunho felt that he could easily admire them for their determination and spirit.

“Jung Yunho.” The woman nodded in his presence, trying to be as professional as she possibly could with her manners. “Right this way. Mr. Shin and Mr. Kang and waiting for you, sir.”

Yunho lifted an eyebrow as the secretary coerced him to follow her. “W-wait… first things first. I have no intention of meeting them until I see Jaejoong. Take me to him first!” He ordered, his voice harsh and stern.

“I’m afraid that’s not possible.” The secretary mumbled, making Yunho feel sick to the stomach-once again.

He scoffed raucously to respond her. “What, a scientist like me can’t even see his own experiment here?” Yunho asked in a sardonic manner. “What kind of a lab is this anyway?”

The secretary decided to ignore Yunho’s insulting remark and continued walking through the hallways, down corridors, and up a few flights of stairs. She is a great secretary, Yunho thought. She has the nerve and strength to ignore every negative thing I say about the company and keep the pride she has for this hellhole at a maximum.

In spite of the secretary’s clear instructions, Yunho still could not permit himself to commence the experiment or meet with the government officials before he received even the slightest glimpse of Jaejoong. Realising that he hadn’t eaten Jaejoong’s home cooked meal, felt Jaejoong’s touch, or heard Jaejoong’s musical voice for a few hours was driving his spirit into an abyss.

“Lady, I’ve got to see him now.” Yunho demanded rudely. “I have to see what kind of condition he is in or else I’ll never be able to work diligently with this insanity still running around in my head.”

The secretary answered his statement in the same tone she did before, making Yunho think of her as a robot or an empty person with no life whatsoever within her. “I’m afraid not, sir. I have received instructions for you to meet with them first.” Yunho absolutely despised whenever someone said something along the lines of that. Why couldn’t the just break the instructions to show their sympathy for him-or better, bend them slightly?

“Well, when will I be able to see him?” Finally deciding to give up, Yunho summoned up an alternative question.

“Whenever your meeting with the team is over.” She responded apathetically, getting slightly irritated by Yunho’s questions. “The team wants to get things straight with you and retrieve some data before they begin operating on him.”

“Operate?” The words suddenly appropriated Yunho’s attention. “What do you mean, operate?”

The secretary spoke in her deep, ignorant, monotone voice once again. “You’ll understand everything after the meeting.”

Noticing that either the secretary had all the answers, but was too reluctant to divulge them, or that she had not a single clue about the entire situation, Yunho dropped his questions and continued walking through the hallways. He came across lab after lab and scientist after scientist, all seemingly trying to achieve the same goal. There were various doctors running around the building as well, trying to gain speed to complete their tasks. The word that first popped into Yunho’s mind after seeing the hectic scene was chaotic, but realizing that this was a government facility filled with some of the most eminent scientists and researchers in all of Korea, he knew that there was a tremendous amount of order within the swift actions.

As Yunho travelled deeper into the facility, he realized that hallways became exceptionally dark and empty-almost as if someone was turning off the lights, one by one. The previous scene of doctors and scientists scurrying around dwindled down into a scene of a serene-but frightening-silence. He peered into each of the rooms, which had extremely diminutive windows situated on their doors, probably to keep out the eyes of anyone who was willing to peek into the confidential area. Despite the view being unclear, Yunho saw the same scene in every single room-a group of ten or fifteen doctors hovering over something he couldn’t quite make out.

It was making Yunho fee a bit overwhelmed, and surprisingly, frightened. Was this how the doctors and scientists planned to ‘operate’ on Jaejoong? Keeping him locked up in a dark room with what seemed like thousands of people hovering over him? Yunho denied the assumption immediately (he didn’t know whether it was just to make himself feel better or not) considering Jaejoong was something too precious to be handled so recklessly like a cadaver. Besides, he had made it crystal clear to the man on the other end of the phone line last night not to harm or endanger Jaejoong in any way.

Instead of leading him into one of the operation rooms, the secretary chose to bring him into another corridor which was lighted with fluorescent bulbs and had a more hospitable appearance than the hallway he had previously walked through. He was directed into and offered a seat in the large office, furnished with European sofas and oriental paintings on the walls. The décor of the office was quite welcoming to Yunho, but it was the identity of the people in the room that made him want to scurry away from the room as soon as possible.

He recognized the first two men-Shin SangHyuk and Kang HyeSung were their names-who were high government officials who worked a rank above Yunho’s boss’s boss. The first two men didn’t bother him at all, for Yunho comprehended that they had every right to be situated within the room. It was the third man that seemed utterly out of place, and made Yunho want to puke at the sight of him.

“Hello there Yunho. Long time no see.” The low, mocking, but serious voice pronounced

“Lee JoongYoung!” the syllables slid across Yunho’s lips like a fatal poison, causing a tremendous headache to ring throughout his head hearing the name resound in the air. “What the hell are you doing here?” JoongYoung was his co-worker, or to be more frank, his competitor. Yunho knew that this man had been missing from the office for quite a number of days, but he had no idea how to connect that clue to the fact that he was standing here, amongst this office filled with significant government employees.

“Oh I’ll tell you what he’s doing here.” The lively younger man, Shin SangHyuk declared. “He’s the one responsible for finding out what Jaejoong is, and he’s currently a decision-maker of this project. If it wasn’t for JoongYoung, none of this success and excitement would’ve surfaced.”

Yunho wanted to use the same sentence for his own dialogue, but desperately craved to change a few of the inept words. Instead of it being it way it was, Yunho wanted to change the sentence to: ‘if it wasn’t for JoongYoung, none of this trouble and shit would’ve surfaced.’ Seeing the impish smirk on JoongYoung’s lips made him want to let loose and spill the words onto the floor, but reconsidering the fact that he was here for Jaejoong and only Jaejoong, he knew acting out of place and ignoring proper conduct would only make things more difficult than they’d ought to be.

Despite the angel on his shoulder, telling him to act accordingly, Yunho’s anger flared within him like a raged wildfire, bringing him to complain, at least about something. “How the hell did you get to know the things you did--figuring out that I had ‘created’ Jaejoong?” As Yunho emphasized the word ‘created,’ the secretary from earlier left the room, probably from the orders of the two government officials who considered that she really wasn’t supposed to be there. “When the hell have you become so shallow and nosy to peer into other peoples’ businesses?”

JoongYoung’s lip curled mischievously to the left, expanding the wildfire that was raging on within Yunho. “I figured that since you had no intention of sharing your discovery with the company, somebody had to the be the bigger person to reveal this to the government.”

“Bigger Person?” Yunho echoed incredulity in his quavering voice. “You think you’re the bigger person for handing my one and only source of hope to those horrid labs to be adulterated and tested on by the merciless scientists and doctors? You think that you’re actually doing someone a favour, when in fact, you’ve brought me all the misery I feared right into my everyday life?” Yunho scoffed. His anger had broken through immediately. Although he knew the first two men standing in the room were moguls in the world he worked in and could easily take his job away from him, Yunho knew it was no use holding something back that was so severe and evident. A part of him wanted to sit there, listening to the man tell his whole story of the process he had gone through to possess the theory that Jaejoong was not human. Yet, another part of him yearned nothing more than to hurl set after set of crude words at his former co-worker’s face, hoping that he words would somehow make scars on the man’s unattractive, slightly-aged face.

“Don’t you want to hear the story first before you start complaining like a child with that ill-mannered mouth of yours?” JoongYoung asked teasingly, reading Yunho’s mind. “You seem too curious at the moment to cooperate with the government officials here.” The man noted as he referred to the two towering but respectful-looking officials behind him.

Having no choice but to agree, Yunho made sure his decision rang loud and clear in the murky atmosphere. “Fine.” He consented. “Tell me everything before I die and whither away from all this confusion.”

JoongYoung looked quite pleased despite being asked to explain himself. “When I first saw Jaejoong and you at the supermarket, I knew without a doubt that he had a strange similarity to your wife, Kim Seulki.” The mentioning of Seulki made Yunho tense up instantly. “But, I knew that it couldn’t have possibly been Seulki you were walking around with, because after all… she is long dead.” The humorous tone in his voice made Yunho’s fists want to instantly jam itself into the man’s flesh. “I also noticed that he was male, so I even made a note to myself back then to consider whether he was Seulki’s twin or rather, a sibling of hers. It was then when I dug up Seulki’s info and figured out that she was an only child when I noticed something was tremendously uncanny about the whole situation.”

Yunho stayed quite, taking in all the information in spite of how aggravated he was feeling inside. The nerve of that guy! He had actually stooped low enough to probe through Seulki’s files. He must honestly want me in hell, Yunho told himself as JoongYoung’s monologue continued, the two other men watching keenly with interest as if waiting for something drastic to result from the heated conversation.

“It was when he questioned Kim Junsu about the two of you when we finally made our assumptions concrete.” JoongYoung continued. “We had kidnapped Junsu from his local piano gallery to question him at a nearby police station. Seeing that he had hosted the charity concert with his friend and knew the two of you quite well, we supposed that he was the perfect person to approach with our questions. Without any other choice, Junsu told us that you looked to Jaejoong as someone who resembled your wife, but someone who you quite weren’t sure of and resolute to love. With that, we verified our suppositions almost instantly.”

Yunho furrowed his eyebrows with no remorse, for JoongYoung’s words had brought out a part of him that remained dormant for the majority of his life. “Kim Junsu? You questioned Kim Junsu?” Yunho had stood up from his perch on the sofa and was now tossing his words angrily into JoongYoung’s face at an ungodly rate. “What the hell does he have to do with us, let alone be kidnapped during work and sent to a police station where he could’ve easily thought that he was being arrested! And what for? Just to provide you with the slightest information he had about the two of us so you had more fuel to power this sick, ridiculous project?”

“It’s not a sick project Yunho-sshi.” The eldest man of the group, Kang HyeSung contradicted in a calm voice. “In fact, this project can help our country in many ways, not to mention our economy which has-”

“I wasn’t talking to you!” Yunho bellowed peevishly, making the elder man step back in alarm. “JoongYoung,” He focused his attention to his co-worker. “How did you even get the resolve to do all this? If you’ve been spying on Jaejoong and me, then you must know that the two of us have an appealing but fragile relationship. My wife died months ago, leaving me with absolutely nothing to remember her by but the scornful looks of her family members and the dismal funeral that I wish I never attended, so I put all the effort I could dig up to make Jaejoong. And now, just when we were getting along, you decide to mercilessly take him away from me?”

JoongYoung shrugged in response, indifferent to Yunho’s passionate yet sour words. “You sound as if the death of your wife was my fault.” He teased, completely dismissive of the whole situation. “Besides, Yunho, you can’t even distinguish your work life from your love life. How pathetic.”

His words instantly made Yunho rewind the movie he was watching to the day Seulki had met her unavoidable fate, and why she had met it. It was because of the company-or rather, Yunho’s devotion to the company that brought tears down her fact that night, causing her to abscond from the apartment in hopes that she would never have the opportunity to see the career-loving monster behind the door of that apartment ever again. Well, she was granted with her wishes in the end, and it was all because Yunho had let his fidelity towards his career and towards his wife coexist.

“Who says they can’t coexist?” Yunho pointed out, utterly livid that JoongYoung had brought something like that up. “Work is something I go to so I can sustain a life with my loved ones. Who says that I have to drop one to attain the other?”

“Well, Yunho, you yourself are a perfect example of why the two concepts shouldn’t get in the way of another.” JoongYoung’s voice had a hint of malice within it-Yunho could swear on it. “You were too immersed in your work life to allocate any time for your wife to share with you. And look at what you did! You killed her.” Yunho liked to believe that JoongYoung’s assumptions were entirely fictitious, but after a while, he had to admit that they were a hundred percent factual.

Yunho’s head felt as if it was spinning at an unbelievable rate, receiving all the information and forced to process it. If JoongYoung was the one who had set him up for all this, then it was absolutely true that the man held an undeniable grudge against him. When he first situated into the company, he immediately received hostile glances from JoongYoung, which made an impression that he was unwelcome. It wasn’t the fact that they held the grudge merely because of their positions in the company that set them up for competition. Yunho had supposed JoongYoung hated him for the fact that he was young and charming, having a wife who he was crazily in love with at his side, accompanying him through every difficulty that came along.

So, what if he had a wife? It was every human’s fate: to fall in love, to completely devote oneself to someone special whom they would give up their life for. If JoongYoung didn’t have someone like that, it was perfectly okay to feel jealous, but not to the point where he declared it as something ‘wrong’ and ‘futile.’ Now, once again, after Yunho proved him wrong with his creation and his second chance to submerse himself into love, here JoongYoung came again, taking every trace of hope away from him and throwing it into the trashcan with no regard of how valuable it really was.

Nevertheless, a part of him denied the fact completely and instead put all the blame onto his own shoulders. Surely JoongYoung had responsibility over this project, but it was Yunho’s fault to allow Jaejoong to storm out of the apartment like a wild bird and then ultimately, end up here, within the government’s palms, forced into endless experiments, having his customary, everyday life taken away from him. He could not blame JoongYoung one bit-not for Jaejoong, and certainly not for Seulki. The two of them had vanished into thin air due to his own actions and mistakes.

He could feel a burning sensation loitering in his eye sockets-which obviously meant tears. “Although work might get in the way of love and vice versa, that is not what caused Jaejoong to flee from me.” Yunho confessed, having no intention to hold anything back anymore. “J-Jaejoong… he fled from me because I second-guessed him. I didn’t think he was genuine enough to love. I doubted him for what he was-not for what he did.” He hung his head, letting silence succumb the room. “Doing what you’re doing now to him is only going to make him feel less valuable-less human. He has feelings and thoughts, just like every other human does. Why would you treat him like you do a lab rat or a robot, when you would do none of this to an actual human?”

The head of the project, Shin SangHyuk lifted an eyebrow in doubt. “Enough nonsense.” He noted vehemently. “If you do not cooperate with us, Yunho, I’m afraid we won’t be releasing him.” The declaration reminded Yunho once more of why he was here. “I thought the two of us had talked this over the phone already.”

“I know we did, but…” Yunho’s voice quavered unintentionally. “You told me that the experiments would do a bit of harm on him. Just how much harm do you mean by that?”

“We’re not sure.” The answer came slowly-much more slowly than Yunho imagined. “in fact, without your help, there would without a doubt be more damage with a group of scientists who know nothing of how Jaejoong was made.”

Yunho disposed of the manila folder he had clutched tightly in his fingers by dropping it onto the desk SangHyuk sat behind. “Happy?” He questioned bitterly. “In here is all the information I jotted down while I created him. If you have more questions regarding Jaejoong’s composition, I’m the one to come to.”

Yunho felt utterly pathetic as he saw a major part of his pride disappear before his very eyes. Jaejoong had made him so utterly weak. Because of Jaejoong, he had unwillingly agreed to the government’s every wish, having to watch on as Jaejoong was tested and experimented upon.

The three men in the room seemed pleased with his decision, and he had to say that he was-too. Although he might’ve been reluctant to offer the slightest bit of help after he realised JoongYoung was the one responsible for the whole scenario, the mention of the fact that he cold easily save Jaejoong from the damage that would be inflicted upon him, he was more than happy to throw himself into the fire pit.

The eldest man, Kang HyeSung, threw his own file of papers down onto the desk before Yunho, forcing him to look. “If you are going to follow through with this, you might as well sign the contract.” He directed, giving lucid instructions. “We’d like for you to read through the contract thoroughly and consent to everything that is mentioned with in.”

Yunho gave a slight scan over the contract and noticed the title, Pulsatilla Project Agreement Policy. “Pulsatilla?” Yunho questioned, staggered by the obscure title. “What do you mean by that?”

“The Pulsatilla is a flower that is grown in the dead remains of another plant. It is usually used to replace another plant of the same species.” HyeSung announced, sounding tremendously scientific. “It’s an apt title, since that’s basically what Jaejoong did in the place of your wife.”

Frowning at the set of words used, Yunho chose to ignore the obscurity of the title and jumped straight into the content of the contract, scanning the conditions over one by one to assure himself that he wasn’t uncomfortable with any of them. There was the mention of confidentiality-that Yunho would swear not to tell any other organization about the project, which Yunho could assent to easily. There was also the indication that Jaejoong would not be released from the lab until the scientists were completely finished with their experiments and testing-a fact that Yunho despised. Finding that there were no terms that were inhumane or exceptionally difficult to meet, Yunho signed his name on the line and scribbled the date next to his sloppy signature.

Signing this contract meant thousands of things, even if its main purpose was situated within a single concept which almost anyone could fully understand. For Yunho however, it meant handing Jaejoong over to the government, making him accessible to the numerous experiments that lay ahead of him. It mean that no, Yunho did not consider Jaejoong as a human, but someone that resembled a human who needed to be experimented for the traits that made him who he was. It als o mean that after all this ended, he would have Jaejoong safe and sound back in his arms, continuing their lives from where they last left it.

The place where they left off was a horrible one, Yunho had to admit. Even if he received Jaejoong back in the shortest amount of time, there was no guarantee whatsoever that the two of them could possibly return to those foolish, lively, exuberant days that were taken for granted. It was almost as if the bitter words that escaped their mouths the previous night acted as a spell, putting everything out of order and adding confusion to even the simplest of matters.

After quite a long pause, Yunho finally decided to speak after signing the crucial contract. “I’d like to see him.” Yunho demanded. “Just once before I contribute myself entirely to the experiment.”

“As you wish.” SangHyuk allowed, knowing that it was perfectly fine to let the scientist see his creation after he agreed to the terms stated in the contract.

The grey-haired man, HyeSung, stood up from his perch on the office chair and fixed his glare onto Yunho’s. “Please follow me.” He indicated. “I’ll lead you to the room where Jaejoong is currently stationed.”

Yunho nodded, following the man as he exited the room all the while giving JoongYoung a dirty look to inform him that he was still unconditionally aggravated with him. As he strolled in the familiar, dark, lonely hallways once more, Yunho could feel his head bear an inevitable pain. He couldn’t call it a headache, because he knew deep down that it was far worse that something a simple pill could resolve. He nearly felt frightened to see Jaejoong, to meet him once more after the argument which exploded between them. He was afraid of what Jaejoong might say to him, and whether Jaejoong would be able to stand the sight of him or not, or whether he would ask him to leave immediately. If Jaejoong was still hung up over yesterday’s conflict, then he would much rather not see Jaejoong at all.

Despite all the warnings he gave himself, he decided to take a chance. Wasn’t love all about taking chances? He had hesitated when he first felt himself falling love with Jaejoong, but he had taken the chance to question whether the two of them were capable or not. Surprisingly, that reckless chance led happiness back into his life, if only for a temporal amount of time. He had taken a chance of creating Jaejoong, and he had created a trail of endless joy yet, at the very same time, a trail of tears and anger.

He tried thinking positive thoughts as HyeSung led him through the hallways, preparing his frightened heart for what was to appear before him. He told himself that ignoring his troubles would only augment them, not eradicate them. Holding his shoulders back and straightening his spine, Yunho summoned up his confidence and prepared himself for whatever sight he was bound to see within seconds.

Yunho felt that he had been walking for what seemed like hours until he finally reached the end of a hallway where HyeSung abruptly stopped. The room he was about to enter was almost identical to all of the other rooms, yet Yunho felt that it was far more secluded from all the others than the ones which he passed on his way here where the rooms placed themselves one after another. Discovering the alienation of the room from the others, Yunho realised that indeed the Pulsatilla project was far more important than he initially expected it to be. It took him a while to figure out that Jaejoong, one of the few people whom he could truly love, was the cause of this experiment and all the government officials and all the contracts which emerged from the project.

Fetching a key that was hidden away in his pocket, the government official who led him through the winding hallways unlocked the door, allowing Yunho and himself to step within the large yet dark room.

At first when Yunho entered the room, he could not catch a single glimpse of Jaejoong due to the fact that there was an innumerable amount of doctors and scientists in the room, blocking Jaejoong away from Yunho’s view. The major portion of the room was succumbed by an unwelcoming darkness, one which Yunho could barely see through. In the centre of the entire area however, a blinding light of the colours green and gold shone above something which Yunho couldn’t quite make out, blinding his eyes completely if he was ever going to gaze upon one of the bright, unbearable lamps. The panic came back to him in slow, painful installments as he envisioned Jaejoong in the very room, having the blinding lights shone directly towards him.

After an insignificant wait, HyeSung tapped a particular doctor on the shoulder, notifying all the scientists and doctors to disperse so Yunho would finally be able to lay eyes on his creation-or, how he wanted to call it, lover.

As the doctors and scientists left their stations and made way for Yunho, he considered that perhaps, taking the chance was the wrong thing to do after all.

He came face to face with a naked Jaejoong-his skin as pale and lifeless as a sheet of newly-fallen snow, laying within the hospital bed, nearly representing a dead body. His eyes were closed, offering Yunho not a single clue of what he was feeling at the moment. Amongst his naked body were what seemed like thousands of wires, attached to every single part of his body for experimental purposes. Adding to the horrid scene were the legion of doctors and scientist who hovered over Jaejoong in the beginning, moving their wires about him and touching every single part of his body as they invaded his privacy without remorse. Yunho wished and wished that Jaejoong could have a say in what he wanted to be done to him and what he had the intention of occurring. But here was he was laying motionless, absolutely vulnerable to all the scientists who were willing to work on him, all the while being stripped the title of ‘Jaejoong’ and having the emotion of what it felt like to be a true human being taken away from him.

“J-Jaejoong…” His voice was unintentionally raspy as he spoke, quavering wildly while the horrifying sight travelled from his eyes to the many portions of his brain. He felt his body turn cold instantly, thunderstruck by the deadly sight to allow his heart to pump out any more blood to warm up his veins. He heard himself scream in the loudest volume possible within his head-making the screaming all the more louder. Seeing the sick, disgusting scenario before his eyes, Yunho felt the urge to run to the restroom to puke all his organs out.

But no, he couldn’t stop staring, for his eyes wouldn’t shut. He wanted to see Jaejoong, to see his lover, because he knew that without him, he would fall apart like the leaves of a tree with the nourishing adoration of the warm but sometimes potent sunshine.

The scene before him was made feasible by his own hands. It wasn’t the scientists, doctors, or government officials he wished to blame. Every single thing came down to him and him only. The scene that nearly caused him to throw up and wish to leave this world for good was all deliberately brought out by him.

Tears flowed through his eyes as he kept on staring, realising that he had no power to change the horrifying meal being placed before him-a meal which was being forced down his throat.

“Jaejoong, please forgive me.” He pleaded quietly, wishing Jaejoong would somehow hear him from wherever he was now.



Too tired to leave you guys an author’s note… Sorry T_T

Please comment if you have the time!

-Cindy

Want more? For a list of chapters and stories, please don’t hesitate to visit my fanfiction archive