Pulsatilla | Chapter 17/23 [Part Two] : love

love_cassiopeia

Pulsatilla | Chapter 17/23 [Part Two]

Aug 21, 2010 19:53

Pulsatilla
Author: love_cassiopeia
Summary: A complete mess was what Jung Yunho became after his beloved wife’s death. Trapped in a permanent state of isolation and loneliness, Yunho summons his knowledge on biology in hopes of recreating his wife in the form of an artificial human. However, the experiment goes terribly wrong and instead creates a male who has all his wife’s looks and qualities, one who he eventually decides to name ‘Jaejoong.’ Coping with the idyllic memories Jaejoong brings back of his wife, Yunho tries his best not to fall in love with his creation, knowing that the love he brings along is not the real thing-or is it?
Rated: PG-13 - NC-17
Warning(s): NC-17 material, language
Genre: Romance/Angst
Pairing(s): YunJae
Chapter 17: Vagues d'océan

Definition: The Pulsatilla is a deciduous perennial flower native to Europe and Asia that grows in the leftover nutrients of a dead plant. It is usually grown to replace another plant. It is capable of curing diseases and may be used in remedies.

<< Back to Part 1

*
V a g u e s d ' o c é a n
Continued

As soon as the two arrived back at their lofty penthouse located in Seoul's suburbs a good thirty minutes away from the government facility, Yunho urged Jaejoong to attain sleep for himself, since he knew that if the two of them wanted to go to the beach-which was in Incheon, a two hour drive away, they would have to build up extra energy for the lengthy trip. Although there were heavy bags below Yunho's eyes and worry hidden in every line on his face, he had no problem whatsoever with taking Jaejoong to the beach that very day. He knew he had done a ridiculous amount of things to accommodate Jaejoong the entire previous three weeks, but he knew he could not possibly do enough in his entire lifetime. While Jaejoong slept in the tidy, commodious nearby bedroom, Yunho tried sitting on a sofa in the living room, attempting to organize the disorderly thoughts which were scattered aimlessly in his mind.

His attempts were unsuccessful, which was relatively predictable to him. He closed his eyes, hoping sleep would assist him in forgetting specific events. He only wished he could break the wall between the two of them so he was capable of sleeping in the same room Jaejoong was sleeping in. He pushed that desire to the back of his mind, for he knew there was still apart of Jaejoong that resented him to the last bone.

Across the wall and in the bedroom, Jaejoong lied on the bed, trying to follow Yunho's instructions and attempting to fall asleep to regain energy for that night's spontaneous trip to the beach. Like Yunho, he was also proved unsuccessful and instead, chose another alternative to pass the time. He had slept for nearly three weeks in the government facility and resting was the last thing in the world he wanted to do. Opening his eyes widely, Jaejoong chose to abandon sleep and instead, took the time to organize the chaotic thoughts in his mind and attempted make some actual sense out of them. Why waste your time sleeping when you could be accomplishing something in the amount of time given?

When Yunho awoke in the living room and Jaejoong was finished organizing the heap of thoughts in his mind in the bedroom, the two of them left the apartment and embarked upon an Italian restaurant on the edge of town where Yunho and Changmin often went after work apart from drinking their hearts out at a nearby bar. Yunho considered that since Jaejoong had been through hell these past weeks, he would not be so enthusiastic as used to be about wanting to cook and setting up a meal all by himself. Since Yunho had overslept and Jaejoong had spent way too much time cleaning up his thoughts and issuing himself a positive mindset, Yunho decided the only time available for their spontaneous visit to the beach was late at night.

Though the food was exceptionally delicious, Yunho alone did most of the eating at the restaurant. Although Jaejoong had eaten nearly half of the food placed upon his plate, Yunho perceived from his actions that he was forcing it down his throat. It hurt Yunho, seeing him act so feeble and soulless-but nonetheless, it was better than this morning, when Jaejoong didn't bother to speak or even look at him. Now, sitting across the table from Yunho, Jaejoong glanced up a few times from his plate and flashed a weak smile. Although the action was extremely small and was meant to be taken lightly, Yunho’s heart bloomed with joy as he saw the corners of Jaejoong’s lips curl up.

Even though the smiles were quite abundant, the talking still remained at a minimum. Ignoring the visible tension between the two of them and looking on the bright side, Yunho inferred that perhaps the two of them weren’t talking because they were busy eating-or, because he was eating. He hoped that as soon as the two of them left the restaurant and arrived at the beach, they would be able to yell at each other, or, if he was to look at the opposite end of the spectrum, flood each other with apologies and enamour each other once more with consequential vows in complete privacy. He knew however, that the latter was incapable of occurring, and that perhaps he was being too optimistic about such matters that were far too impossible. He sighed, telling himself that at least imagining things would bestow temporal excitement for his psyche.

After filling up their stomachs at the eatery, the twosome drove to the beach within a good forty-five minutes, listening to various ballads and jazz compositions on the night-time radio which rarely replayed the morning’s broadcast of pop. The atmosphere in the vehicle was much too empty for anyone to endure-but alas, it was the emptiness that triggered the feeling of serenity. And serenity in a time like this was greatly needed.

It was a vivid contrast to the previous few weeks when everything was anything but serene.

After the forty-five minute drive, the two arrived at an unoccupied beach located in the corners of Incheon. If Yunho was to be honest, he would’ve said that the beach looked a bit eerie in the darkness of the night. But if he were to ignore that thought completely and instead, look at the beach for what it was, he would’ve thought that it was the second most beautiful thing he had ever seen in the world (the first place would’ve easily gone to either Seulki or Jaejoong). The stars were unmistakably visible tonight-a thousand of them, if Yunho had to estimate how much he saw (that was the advantage of being out of the city). It was something that could not be measured-same as the extent of his love for Jaejoong. It was a human’s natural desire to measure everything he saw and put them into diagrams for analysis. But some things, such as the number of stars in the sky, or in this case, what the world held for the two of them in the future, were clearly impossible to determine no matter how much he yearned for the answer.

Besides the stars, the beach also displayed a beautiful ocean (one which looked more beautiful than it did dangerous). The waves seemed miles high above the waters, coming towards the shore unashamedly, not showing any mercy for any ships, if there were any. The colour around them was pure indigo-Yunho could barely tell where the boundary between the ocean and the sky stood. But it was all that, all the beautiful yet cryptic surroundings which triggered both Yunho and Jaejoong into feeling at ease almost instantly.

Opening the trunk of his car, Yunho dug out a beach towel he had brought along and advanced towards the beach. Jaejoong followed closely behind him, feeling just the slightest bit of excitement as he laid his eyes on the waves. It was his first time seeing the ocean, and the first time always feels if just a little, intimidating.

The two of them made a place for themselves within the sand, relatively close yet relatively far away from where the water met the sand. Yunho sat down first and then Jaejoong followed, abolishing his hesitation and moving a lot closer to Yunho than Yunho had originally anticipated. Feeling a bit fatigued and stressed out, Jaejoong inclined his body onto his lover’s and looked pensively up at the night sky.

“Doesn’t that portion of stars look like a huge sandwich?” Jaejoong asked, making Yunho jump out of his skin with how forthright and blunt he was being.

He was glad that he was at least saying something in the end. “Oh Jaejoong, you’re only saying that because you just picked at your dinner tonight and now feel hungry, right?”

Jaejoong looked puzzled. “I’m being serious, it really looks like a sandwich!” He claimed. He used his index finger to point up at the sky. “See, there’s the lettuce, the ham, the cheese-”

“You want to know what I think it looks like?” Yunho interrupted impenitently.

“What?”

“It looks like a heart.”

Jaejoong’s eyes immediately started rolling as Yunho’s supposition surfaced. “Oh please. Will you stop being so sappy?”

Yunho thought Jaejoong’s eye roll and mocking words were unnecessary, for the group of stars looked far more like a heart than it did a sandwich. “Do you want to stop for some food on the way back?” He asked-a bit derisively, if he were to be truthful. “You’re obviously too hungry to function properly.”

Regardless of whether he was hungry or not, Jaejoong’s voice was full of energy as he spoke. “Well, considering I was stuck in a government facility all week long where they gave me nothing but bowls of porridge everyday, is it any wrong for me to hungry?”

“If you’re hungry, then why didn’t you eat at the restaurant?”

“I want to eat with you,” He argued. “…at home.”

Yunho’s mind rescanned Jaejoong’s indefinite words, trying to detect the small signs Jaejoong was attempting to toss at him. It was true-Jaejoong had not made a decent meal for weeks, and neither had he done any deeds a normal housewife was required to do. He knew that this ordeal had brought Jaejoong out of his original environment and made him feel terribly out of place wherever he went.

The scientist gave his creation a pat on the back. “Why don’t you rest for a few weeks?” He noted. “While you rest, perhaps I could take on the task of making our meals.”

Jaejoong burst out in laugher-astounding Yunho but also bringing him into absolute delight. “You, cook?” He asked enthusiastically. “No way! Remember what happened the last time you tried to cook?”

Yunho’s face wrinkled from his constant smiling. “You still remember that?”

“Of course.” Jaejoong stated. “Such memories were what kept me sane during my time at the labs.”

Yunho had to admit it: he was bewildered-or, perhaps the word ‘bewildered’ was not nearly enough to describe the tingly sensation that was ringing throughout him. He envisioned that perhaps a miracle had happened, and that he was key factor within it. The days which were engulfed with darkness and grief was unexpectedly replaced by Jaejoong’s loveable laughter and sentences which Yunho couldn’t help but relate to.

“Same here.” Yunho uttered silently before putting his muscular arm around Jaejoong’s shoulder and letting his eyes scrutinize the aesthetic waves.

This was Yunho’s wish for Jaejoong from the very beginning-to have a starting place, a home, to have a shelter which hovered over him protectively from the fierce rainfalls of the summer as well as the heaps of snow which plummeted from the heavens in the frigid winter. Being here, letting Jaejoong claim his shoulder as a resting place while the two of them shared their thoughts comfortably amongst themselves was like heaven on earth for Yunho. Although not a single bit of it was lavish or extravagant, Yunho felt at perfect ease (and he could guarantee Jaejoong did, too). Life was best lived simply without extraneous matters or irksome complications. Staring out at the serene yet somewhat harmful waves was the peak of simplicity.

“Fish must live happily out in the sea, mustn’t they?” Jaejoong spoke, ignoring the relevance of his words yet again. “Why don’t we turn into mermaids and escape this world?”

Yunho was pleased that Jaejoong was beginning to speak-but alas, what he was speaking was a bit strange and eccentric, which bothered him a bit. “Oh Jaejoong, will you make your sentences more sane and rational?” He thought the sentences were adorable-but strange nonetheless. “And it’s mermen, not mermaids.”

Yunho received a glare in response to his unneeded statement. “Same thing.” Jaejoong retorted. “But it would be interesting, wouldn’t it? Not having the outside world disturb us from our lives and not having a single person judge us for who we are?”

Yunho scoffed. “There’s one tiny problem.” He pointed out. “We don’t have gills.”

“You’re no fun, Yunho.” It was the tone of his voice which made Yunho smile innocently. “Why can’t you just relinquish all the things holding you down and just let your imagination fly?”

“Why don’t you write a novel then, considering your imagination is so prolific? Or better, make a movie!” Yunho teased in return. “Put your skills to use.”

Yunho considered that perhaps his sentence was too harsh, for Jaejoong stopped talking and began to frown. “Well, perhaps you should stop always looking on the dark side of things.”

“Weren’t you looking on the ‘dark’ side of things a second ago on the way home from the facility?” Yunho challenged.

“At least I’ve reinvented myself with a brand new mindset.” Jaejoong backfired, knowing his time in the bedroom abandoning sleep, trying to organize his thoughts was not put to waste. “You should, too.”

Yunho sighed. “I’ve been trying to fix my mindset ever since the government laid their nasty paws on you.”

“Well, you haven’t done a very nice job, have you?”

“Listen, Jaejoong.” Yunho trailed off, attempting to find a small portion of him which had the energy and resolve to steer the two of them in a particular direction. “This is fine for you, right? I mean, the usual laugh here and there… the usual teasing from both sides. You’re comfortable with all this, am I right?”

Jaejoong nodded timidly in return, not having the courage to agree verbally. “I know that since three weeks ago, I appeared as a spoiled brat incapable of accomplishing anything for himself and an idiot who depended too much on you.” The confession was an easy one-much easier than all the others. “This entire thing started with you attending the blind date and me following you. I think the two of us could perhaps start over by not being so nosey and also not going out with particular people.”

Yunho laughed, overjoyed that Jaejoong had gotten a bit envious. “You were jealous, weren’t you?”

“I can’t say that I wasn’t.” He replied indifferently. “But I have to say that the woman had no chance of stealing your heart with me in the way.”

“Oh Jaejoong, your ego is getting larger by each passing moment.”

“I hope it doesn’t get as huge as yours though.”

The two sat in a mix of laughter and delight, both too jubilant to regard the occurrences of the past. Within moments, a soft rain began to descend from the murky clouds, kissing the twosome at first but engulfing them vigorously after the raindrops thickened. Seeing that their small voyage out to the beach was rapidly ruined, Yunho was more than disenchanted of having to bring their time of relaxation to a halt. He felt however, more than fortunate seeing that the two of them had connected on a much deeper, if not emotional, level after weeks of being mentally and physically apart.

“We should go back to apartment. We’ll get a cold otherwise.” Yunho warned.

Jaejoong nodded in agreement and received hold of the already-soaked beach towel. Standing up, Jaejoong took one last, long glance at the marvelling beach and then shifted his glance to Yunho.”

“Kiss me.” Jaejoong ordered, figuring that he had not mingled his lips with his lover's for a period too long to consider withstanding. And besides, here was certainly the best place to accomplish such a task. The shore, the rain-everything was exactly where it should be.

“Oh Jaejoong, it’s raining.” Yunho commented, referring to the continuous rainfall that was enlarging the turbulent waves and the thunder which rolled vociferously in the distance. “Can’t we wait until we go home?”

Yunho’s statement disappointed Jaejoong, but was nevertheless true and sane. But, who said you had to be sane to achieve happiness in life?

Jaejoong understood no words would be able to coerce his former and to-be partner into meeting his lips with his. After all, for the last few weeks, all his words did was bring him into an even murkier state of turbulence than he was in before. He chose to stare at his creator for a few moments, trying to use a method as obscure as telepathy into encouraging Yunho to take what was offered before him.

Looking into Jaejoong’s gaze was like looking at blank piece of paper for Yunho. For one, he didn’t see the past within Jaejoong’s eyes, but rather, an endless trail of possibilities and events just waiting to arise. He couldn’t call it seduction, because seduction was something far too inept at this moment-but if he had to tell himself one thing at the moment, it was that Jaejoong could make him do anything just by fixing that pair of alluring eyes on him. It wasn’t telepathy, no, it was more like his eyes were speaking to him-only not. It was something neither Yunho nor a renowned poet could describe in words.

Realizing for a single moment that the ‘empty canvas’ shown in Jaejoong’s eyes had not been there for the last few weeks, Yunho let his arms snake around Jaejoong’s shoulders until the two of them met at a full embrace. Jaejoong reciprocated Yunho’s actions by pressing his body closer to his, so close that not even a sheet of wax paper could slip through the insignificant gap between them. Despite whether it was raining or not, the two felt at absolute nirvana as the heat slipped from one lip to another.

The kiss felt rather unfamiliar for both Yunho and Jaejoong-who both couldn’t understand why. Perhaps it was the time which passed that undid the succulent memories, or, perhaps, it was the gap which still stood between them. Yunho hoped with all his heart that the latter was something only crafted by his own bizarre imagination.

Even if there was mile between them, Yunho knew that somehow, they would be able to abolish all signs of it. Even if it was currently raining non-stop, Yunho knew perfectly that within his world, he had soaked up all the rain and relit sky with a striking and radiant sun.

pulsatilla