Ash Williams || Evil Dead Trilogy || HethandwentbadMay 1 2011, 09:34:13 UTC
[Ash is totally wasted right now. He's, in fact, leaning against the back wall of the miniature phone booth, swaying slightly as he picks up the reciever. It's midnight in Michigan, he's a lonely boy, and he's gone right past his usual drunken surliness straight into horniness.
It takes him three tries before he gets the number right, and five rings before his lover picks up.]
Babe, what's wrong, what did you do? [Tina had been dead asleep, but when she finally rolled over and saw it was Ash calling her, she'd slipped in panic mode, not comprehending how slurred his words were yet]
...Annnd just a little bit later than anticipated, oops!handwentbadMay 5 2011, 07:37:53 UTC
[Ash smirks, turning to face the phone booth so one of the surlier bikers won't take it as an invitation for a fight. He couldn't have asked for a better lead-in line.]
[The laugh, cute as it is, makes him glare at the phone as if it's gone Deadite on him. There are a couple of bikers trying to glare him down from across the room, so he turns toward the booth, averting his eyes - he's still a coward. And did she...oohhh no she didn't!]
I told ya I don't eat pussy! And why should I when you couldn't suck dick if I gave ya a map!
[He's drunkenly yelling at this point, with a hard on, (because last night was a hell of a lot of fun), and the other patrons are giving him a wide berth. He has no shame, though, so he'll just keep on doing that.]
[She frowns and pulls back a little from the phone. Where the hell did that come from? She'd just been flirting and saying that it was too bad they couldn't repeat last night 'cause they were in different locations...]
..Are you drunk? What the fuck are you- [Oh did he seriously insult her abilities?] Oh, fuck you! Oh no, wait, I already did that, but apparently I wasn't all that good! If I'm that lousy of a lay, why the fuck did you call, Ash?
[Yeah, well, she insulted him first! Or did she? He's DRUNK all right?]
M'not drunk! I'm....
[He belches loudly and groans. Damn it, does she have to yell as loud as he is? It's an echo-chamber in his head right now. And there's a long, low sigh. Because hey, she didn't hang up, did she? That's a good sign.]
Look, you weren't bad, all right. I called 'cause ...I was lonely.
[He'd rather eat tacks than admit that out loud most of the time, but it's the truth!]
[There's got to be something he can say to make himself sound like less of an asshole. His beer-fogged brain clears out a little, and he finally speaks]
You're a nice girl sweetheart. Nice girls like you shouldn't get mixed up with a guy like me.
It takes him three tries before he gets the number right, and five rings before his lover picks up.]
Heyy baby...
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Had to protect your head, baby. 'Sides, you needed a little mortar-spanking. Keeps you in line.
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Didn't say there was somethin' wrong. S'it sound like somethin's wrong?
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Why do you think?
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..Aww, do you miss me? [Her voice is playful and teasing] You do, don't you?
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Pft. I don't miss dames, they miss me.
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You liked my mouth just fine last night.
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Yeah, 'cause you were actually putting your tongue to some good use. Can't exactly do that right now though, can ya?
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I told ya I don't eat pussy! And why should I when you couldn't suck dick if I gave ya a map!
[He's drunkenly yelling at this point, with a hard on, (because last night was a hell of a lot of fun), and the other patrons are giving him a wide berth. He has no shame, though, so he'll just keep on doing that.]
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..Are you drunk? What the fuck are you- [Oh did he seriously insult her abilities?] Oh, fuck you! Oh no, wait, I already did that, but apparently I wasn't all that good! If I'm that lousy of a lay, why the fuck did you call, Ash?
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M'not drunk! I'm....
[He belches loudly and groans. Damn it, does she have to yell as loud as he is? It's an echo-chamber in his head right now. And there's a long, low sigh. Because hey, she didn't hang up, did she? That's a good sign.]
Look, you weren't bad, all right. I called 'cause ...I was lonely.
[He'd rather eat tacks than admit that out loud most of the time, but it's the truth!]
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...Yeah? So'm I. [She anxiously fiddles with the corner of her of her bedsheet]
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[There's got to be something he can say to make himself sound like less of an asshole. His beer-fogged brain clears out a little, and he finally speaks]
You're a nice girl sweetheart. Nice girls like you shouldn't get mixed up with a guy like me.
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