Dream [004] ☼

[love_lostomates]

[Warnings for not fun history. No blood or anything, but...]

Comments

[kyudousha]

[How the heck did I miss this /sob. Oh Spain. Like I said before, she's been sitting there all this time with her dreamberry pressed against her ear. The moment she hears a gunshot, she immediately becomes intrigued -- oh, how interesting, a gun battle? Damn she wishes she could see this, because this could be potentially enlightening, and it's always most productive to grill somebody when they're in a weakened emotional state, so convinced she was that she was hearing a dream broadcast. And then, she hears an all-too familiar voice, and the darkness folds in upon itself.]

... What... What happened? What just...

Sp- Spain!

[love_lostomates]

[Spain looks up rapidly at the familiar voice, blinking in a baffled way. He hadn't thought that Rita would call him...He had thought that she was, perhaps, still angry at him. But then he realizes that she saw this because he doesn't know otherwise and he looks down rapidly.]

...A-ah...

R-Rita...?

[kyudousha]

... You...

You... Was that. Was that a dream? Tell me it was a dream, okay?

[love_lostomates]

It was...I-it...

[He would love to lie. He would love to. But...He can't keep lying, and it's killing him a little, to keep this all inside, and before he can even think of what he's saying, he whispers quietly.]

N-no...It...

[kyudousha]

[She's covering her eyes with her hands. It's just... It's-]

... Spain. You-

... Tell me. Tell me clearly and concisely -- what was going on in that... that memory. Can you do that?

[love_lostomates]

[There's a long, long pause. It hurts to talk about it, it hurts to say what his people are doing, and he almost can't believe it himself. But it hurts more to not talk about it, so he takes a deep breath.]

Do you...Do you remember when I told you that...C-civil wars hurt the w-worst?

...This...

[And his next words are almost...wondering. As if he truly cannot believe this happened.]

My people...were shot. They were r-rounded up and...and slaughtered a-and...

It was by my p-people.

[kyudousha]

[Fffffffff. You. You. You are breaking my heart, you horrible, wonderful person. >(]

... Civil wars, huh...

[Gods, what's she supposed to say in a situation like this? There's this long pause, and suddenly, she feels the irrational urge to say something. Anything, to fill in that awning gap. But there's nothing, nothing, and she feels like she's slamming her head against that darkened barrier. Just...]

... That's... I don't... It...

It must have hurt... A lot. I mean, I don't know how that must've felt, since, well, I'm not... but... It... must've hurt. I-

I-I'm sorry.

[love_lostomates]

[<333 I try, I try.]

...Yes...I-it does. It hurts when...When they die, I can feel it a-and...

[And he brushes angrily at the tears, but they just keep coming anyway, and his voice shakes.]

I don't understand why they're fighting!

...W-why are they f-fighting?

[kyudousha]

[You do. You really do. xD She's just sort of staring but not staring at the phone in slight shock, because gods, this situation, she definitely didn't anticipate this. And she was never good at this kind of thing, and she's never thought she'd need to be, to be honest, but right now, she damn wishes she were.]

... I...

I... I don't know. I really-

[It suddenly occurs to her that... maybe she should just let him rant it out a little. Talk it out until he's... he's better. And then, she can... try to figure out what to say to make this all better, because she's still feeling extremely guilty from their last confrontation, and like hell she's going to let herself botch this one. So she's just quiet right now. Letting him just... cry it all out.

But damn it's hard. Listening to him cry like this.

... It's probably penance.]

[love_lostomates]

[There's a shaky sigh as he tries and fails to gain control over himself, because dammit, he's been isolated for so long over this. Nobody back home really speaks to him anymore; he supposes it's a sort of punishment for having a civil war, or something.]

I just...Don't understand. I w-wish I did...Maybe I could have s-stopped this.

[He swallows, closing his eyes.]

T-then they wouldn't have to die...

...But...

[And he just stops. Stops, because this has been haunting him and he doesn't even really know how to put it into words, and he doesn't want to...to bother Rita with it, and...]

[kyudousha]

[His stop was so abrupt, that for a second, she was afraid that he'd cut the line on her, left her in the darkness. However, the hum of the dreamberry was still apparent, a constant. She lets her hands fall.]

Spain. Spain, keep... Keep talking.

Keep talking, okay? You... You'll feel better, after you've just said everything out loud.

You'll feel better and I... I'll feel better too. So- so keep talking. Okay?

[love_lostomates]

[Her words are enough to push him into continuing, after he takes a deep breath.]

A-ah...I'm...I'm s-sorry.

I just...

[He buries his face in his hands; his voice is muffled.]

T-this is my fault...These problems...I should have seen this c-coming...I should have stopped it.

...I should have helped mis hijos...

[kyudousha]

[Mis hijos? Friends? Family? People? She's never been good with languages, and even in this critical moment, she's pondering over the logistics of it. It refuses to shut up, and his sadness, it only reaches half of what it can reach. Half of her emotional capacity is struggling to recreate a timeline, and she desperately wishes she could stop it.]

... It's... it's not your fault, okay? You're just one person. It's... it's not like you could have done much about it anyway.

[love_lostomates]

[He looks up at her, and his eyes and his voice are so tired and sad, the sort of weariness that only centuries upon centuries can bring.]

...They're fighting b-because of me, Rita.

They're fighting over...over...

[He whispers the last part, because it hurts to know that really...it's the truth.]

They're fighting over m-me.

[kyudousha]

[... That description. Just killed me. ;------------;]Arg!

[She pauses. People. There're just so... And this is why she's- How could they do this, of all the insensitive-]

And like hell it's your fault! It's just people being stupid and causing war and putting their lives out for stupid reasons! It's not like... And they're so... They don't even think.

They're... They're just idiots! Why are you covering for those idiots? They're just...

[love_lostomates]

[Then it is doing it's job. *hugs*

And he just swallows, eyes closed again.]

They're my children.