Filtered to Justine and later opened to Spectre

[love_catatonic]

I trusted you, Justine. Against all common sense I was actually starting to trust you again even after everything you did.

But I'm not going to make that mistake again. I trusted you. What an absolutely stupid thing for me to do. You're as bad as my mother.

Comments

[carmaline]

What? Everything I did? I just moved out of Eden Court.

I started all these letters to you. I didn't know how to finish them. I guess I was trying to avoid this. But I don't understand why my deciding to leave London makes you angry. Maybe you could be happy that I'm going somewhere safer?

Even sending this to you is going to make you more angry. But I can't just not reply. I guess I'm learning to finish things that I start. As much as is in my power.

[love_catatonic]

'Everything you did'. Did being past tense. Being everything you did in the past that fucked me over.

Just moved out of Eden Court. Out of London. And you didn't even tell me. You're running away like you always run away from your problems. Always avoiding your problems. You fucking left, and you didn't even have the courage to tell me you were going. And, safer? I can only guess you're with Jocelin and Ry. Safer, Justine, are you really that stupid? Safer, with Jocelin? Fuck, I swear you were starting to grow some brains.

But then, I thought we were friends, so I guess I was wrong about a lot of things.

[carmaline]

We were friends. And maybe if you stopped attacking me long enough, we could still be friends!

Okay, let's deal with this. Everything I did in the past that fucked you over. What exactly are you putting under that label? When I went to Jocelin to try to help Ry remember himself? I don't remember you being a motivator then. Or do you mean when I chose to take drugs again? Cause alright, that was stupid. I admit that, okay! It was really, really really dumb. But I haven't done it since, and I never did anything that would get you on anything. So I'm trying to figure it out. Because it just sounds like you aren't sure of your own ability to stay clean. That's not my fault!

[love_catatonic]

What exactly are you putting under that label? Basically I'm thinking the you fucking Jocelin behind my back. Remember that?

And then you go and leave. And no, Justine, I don't think we can be friends, because friends don't just up and move cities without telling each other. And you have done way too many huge things without telling me about them for me to trust you again.

As as for my own ability to stay clean. Sweetie. Don't start making this my fuck up. Don't start attacking me to try and make yourself feel better. If you even think I'd be tempted to go back to being the disgusting junkie puppet person I was, you don't know me at all.