just a picture & a feeling & a face
i just submitted a story into The Bridge (lit mag). ya'll should read it and tell me what you think.
(you may have read it before. i tried to edit it a little. it goes over the word max. but i hope that wont matter)
it doesn't all fit so i just put in the beginning. ill put the rest if people respondddd. ♥
The photographs in the one-hour-photo machine - it looked like maybe New York City, someone’s vacation - slid down and sifted into their original order. I was so bored I hardly knew what to do with myself. I was mostly caught up with everything I had to do, so I was forced to let my mind wander while I waited for customers to come in, or closing time to strike. Sometimes I took the piles and looked through customer’s photographs, seeing the excitement in other people’s photographs slightly eased my boredom. Other times I only saw the top photograph as I slid them into the envelope and used it to imagine the rest of the pictures.
I was alone in Sunset Photos - where I worked some nights during the week - which meant there were no people to distract me from my thoughts, and the lack of photographs meant I had no reason to ignore my abandoned history book.
There were people outside walking by, holding hands, and walking into stores. There were palm trees stretching over the sidewalks, and cars speeding down the street. I heard snippets of conversation, people calling out to each other and car radios blasting classic rock songs. Just watching them made me wish I had my camera with me; all of the spare time I had at work could be put to good use with it.
When I moved to California with Zac, my boyfriend, and his band I knew there would be something in the air or sunlight or people that would make me want to take pictures. We arrived at the beach house in a suburb of Santa Monica and I instantly felt like there was an intense need to photograph the entire world around me. I took pictures of their house, sandy feet and the boys as they surfed. I developed black and white pictures in the dark room and used the one-hour-photo machine for my colour film.
Once school started and 78th Street, the band, went on tour I was too consumed with work and school to pause to think about photography. My twin brother Tanner and his girlfriend Kyrah flew in from Oklahoma to stay with me while 78th Street was on tour. My nights of school work and the chances I had to think about taking pictures turned into all night movie marathons and early morning trips to Denny’s. The thought of Denny’s made my stomach gurgle, I hadn’t eaten since before my class at noon and it was five o’clock now; Sunset Photos didn’t close for three more hours.
There was a darkroom in the back, behind the one-hour-photo machine. I walked in there with a cloth in hand, hoping to find something to clean and distract myself from hunger. The vinegar-like scent of the chemicals reminded me of the time I took Tanner into the darkroom at our old high school. While I explained the chemicals, their purposes and how to use them, Tanner was more interested in talking about anything but developing pictures.
There was a faint sound of the bell that indicated that someone had entered the shop. I didn’t want to leave the dark room and chance more customers who wanted advice on cameras or reprints. I was ready to go home and eat dinner, maybe talk to Zac, and watch movies with my brother. I took a deep breath, hoping to hold the chemicals’ scents in as I exited the dark room and wandered slowly back to the front of the store.
“Hey Marianna!” Kyrah’s voice called out.
I was so excited to hear a familiar voice that I started skipping just to see Kyrah’s face quicker. She wasn’t just my boyfriend’s long time girlfriend. She was also my best friend since before High School started, the girl who introduced me to rock music and hair dying. She had a labret piercing and her long brown hair was almost always streaked purple.
“I brought you some food.”
“Oh my god, I love you!” I exclaimed just as I reached the counter that separated us. My stomach growled again as if to emphasize my love for her. “What kind of food?”
Kyrah reached into the paper bag that was resting on the table. She pulled out a sandwich and a plastic bag full of green grapes. “A peanut butter and banana sandwich, grapes, oh, and pudding.” She pulled the last of the contents from the bag and grinned. There was two of everything she named off, along with two bottles of water. “Tanner’s out on the beach, and I was too impatient to wait for him, so I made him a sandwich too then left.”
“You are my hero right now!” I exclaimed. “Thank you so much.”
“Also, you got a letter,” Kyrah placed her message bag onto the counter and started to search through it. “Straight from Mr. Zachary himself,” she said, smiling.
My name was written neatly across the middle of the envelope, right above our address. The “I” in Marianna was dotted with a heart, and I rolled my eyes at the dorkiness. The left hand corner simply said “Zac.” I tore it open slowly wondering what could be inside. The night before on the phone he hadn’t said anything about a letter. I noticed it was post marked in Indiana. I couldn’t wait until the band was back in California again, playing at a venue so I could watch.
“So… what does it say?” Kyrah asked. She nodded her head toward the letter.
I hadn’t pulled the letter out, but I was holding it inside the envelope. I shrugged and pulled it out, disappointed to find that there was just a bright orange post-it note and a small magazine clipping. The note said: Mari - I saw this and thought of you. Maybe you’ll win the big prize? The header on the clipping said, “Capture Emotion.”
I scanned the contest’s rules: a picture is worth a thousand words. Emotion is usually described with words. Can photography be used to express it as well? Take a photograph worth 1001 words to capture any emotion you choose. First prize: Five hundred dollars, spend a day with the photographers of Photography magazine, and have your photograph displayed in our magazine! Second prize: One hundred dollars and have your photograph displayed in our magazine! Third prize: Have your photograph displayed in our magazine!
Kyrah took the paper from her and read it over. “This looks awesome.”
“Yes, it does,” I agreed. I thought maybe this contest would give me something else to think about aside from work and school while Zac was gone. Maybe I would stop counting the days until 78th Street’s tour ended.
*****
It was still light out when I returned home. I ran up to my room to dig out my camera. During my entire walk back from work, I tried to visualize what I would take pictures of, but I wanted everything captured on film.
I decided I wouldn’t tell anyone that I was going to enter. That way if I won it could be a surprise to Tanner, Kyrah and Zac, and if I didn’t win, no one had to know. I put my camera, colour film and a few bottles of Snapple Iced Tea into my bag and left without a word.
The beach had to be one of my favourite places to go and the house we were staying at was only three blocks away. I passed Sunset Photos on my walk there. I couldn’t remember the last time I took the time to photograph for a few hours. I passed a few people on the boardwalk who I thought about photographing. There was a boy with sandy blonde hair who was walking with a boy with a mohawk. They were both dripping wet and carrying surf boards and engrossed in conversation. A little girl ran past them, I wanted to take a picture of her, too. She wore a dress that looked like it was made out of old Care Bear sheets and she weaved in between people as she ran, her little feet making a tapping noise as they hit the ground. She had curly blonde hair that bounced as she ran; she couldn’t have been older than four or five. Further behind her and the two surfers was a woman with bleach blonde hair calling after her.
I wanted to take pictures of all of them, but I reminded myself that I needed to capture emotion and set forward toward the water, though I wasn’t sure where I would find emotion there.
I set up my camera on a lifeguard chair, kneeling behind it with my eye close to the viewfinder so I knew my range, and set the self timer. When I was on the ground, the sand squished up between my toes, then the waves washed over my feet. I danced around as my camera took pictures with its multiple photo setting. I made sad faces, feigning tears with salt water and happier faces, smiling until my wind-blown lips cracked. I growled at the camera, holding my hands up as if I were about to lash out and scratch something. My expressions felt forced, and I was no actress so I stopped after awhile. I wasn’t sure if the camera had even captured my face enough to show emotion, the top of the lifeguard chair was pretty far away from where I posed.
I climbed up the chair’s ladder- my sandy feet risking splinters as they slipped on the rungs- and I held the camera at arm’s length as I repeated the faces for the much closer lens. It didn’t feel any more convincing so I stopped. I decided to seek emotion in strangers and capture their candid moments.
There weren’t any people on the beach and the sun was beginning to fade into the horizon. The sky started to turn pink and orange like sherbet so I headed up toward the street.
I sat on a bench by the road so I could watch the people walk by. There were a few people walking around. A man carried a young boy on his shoulders. The boy played drums on the man’s head. Across the street there was a teenage boy wearing khaki shorts and playing his guitar. He had a bucket hat tipped upside down on the ground for tips but it didn’t look like anyone had contributed to his fund. Tanner and Kyrah passed holding hands, and I jumped to my feet, ready to run out the door and call their names.
I knew she saw me as she passed, because she backed up, dragging my brother, by his hand. Kyrah threw her arms around me. “We were looking for you!” She exclaimed. When she pulled away I took her picture, capturing her lip glossed smile and shining brown eyes onto film.
“We were going to see a discount movie, you should come.”
I glanced at Tanner, who just nodded.
“Okay,” I agreed, slipping my camera into my bag. I didn’t mind taking a break from my pictures for awhile.
*****
Between my classes at school I wandered from building to building holding my camera, ready to take pictures. I hoped that I would see upset girls talking on their cell phones or lonely boys walking with their heads down kicking stones with their feet. There were a lot of people, but they were mostly hustling from class to class, clutching back packs and making top secret phone calls. Nothing caught my eye. After my third class, as I walked back to the bus stop, I passed a statue of a woman crying and took a picture of her. That upped my picture count of the day to five.
I wanted to develop my pictures at work that day but I wasn’t sure if I could use pictures of people without their permission for the contest, and that took away almost half of my undeveloped film. The other pictures I had taken were of me failing to be an actress.
On the bus ride I thought about the contest a little more and tried to imagine what kinds of pictures other people would submit. I hadn’t come up with anything, however, when my phone started to ring. I noticed it was Zac and answered immediately. “Hey.”
“What’s up?” he asked. He called me every night since he went on tour, even if it was after late shows. If I didn’t answer, he left a message and called back early the next day. Even after hearing his voice on the phone every day, it never ceased to excite me.
“Oh I’m just taking the bus to work.”
“Oh.”
“I got your letter yesterday.”
“Great! Are you going to enter that contest?”
“Maybe, I’m not too sure yet,” I lied. I wondered why Kyrah and Tanner hadn’t commented on my sudden interest in taking pictures again.
“You should,” he urged.
“I might.”
“Please?” I could hear people talking in the background. At first they weren’t talking to him, but then they were calling his name.
“Maybe.”
“Hold on.” I heard muffled voices, maybe he had covered the receiver with his hand. When he came back he sounded discouraged. “I have to go, Mari.”
“Oh.” I glanced out the window at the building passing. The bus was almost at my stop.
“But call me and keep me updated about the contest, okay? You have less than a week left.”
“If I enter.”
“I know you will.”
“I miss you Zac.”
“I miss you too Marianna. Tell Kyrah and Tanner I said hi.”
“I will. Have fun doing whatever you have to do.”
“Sound check,” he responded with a laugh. “Bye, bye.”
“Bye.” I closed my phone at the same time the bus stopped on the corner where Surf’s Up Smoothies was. I double checked my bag for my wallet and camera and walked off the bus, mentally preparing myself for another day at work. I had reading to do for class and pictures I could develop. Maybe I would look through peoples’ prints for some sort of inspiration. I was determined for it to be a good night.
*****
It had been three days since the mail brought Zac’s letter. I had three full days ahead before the contest’s postmark date. I had left work early with no definite plans as I walked into the house. My too heavy forest green Jansport bag slid from my shoulder and onto the ground, it landed with a thud.
Kyrah and Tanner sat on the couch with arms around each other and holding hands. Between exchanging saliva and eye contact they made no acknowledgement of my presence until my bag fell to the floor. “Hey,” Tanner spoke. He used his hand to wave and Kyrah’s moved with it.
“What’s up?” I asked, settling onto the recliner. My feet hurt from standing and my brain hurt from thinking. I spent my time at work developing my pictures and looking through others but all I saw were smiling faces, vacation pictures and friends laughing at each other. I acknowledged that happiness was an emotion but it just didn’t seem like the kind of picture that would win a contest.
Kyrah moved off Tanner’s lap, but remained close to him, and she slid her arms around his waist. “We were going to get dinner somewhere, do you want to come?” he asked.
“How about breakfast food?” I asked.
“Why don’t I just make pancakes?” Tanner said, standing up and pulling away from his girlfriend’s grasp.
Her eyes lit up. “Chocolate chip pancakes?”
“As long as we have chocolate chips,” Tanner nodded.
She jumped toward him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She started dancing which made him dance with her. “With chocolate syrup, whipped cream and cherries?”
“Do you want breakfast or dessert?”
“I want both. What about you, Marianna?” She asked.
I shrugged. Chocolate chip pancakes sounded better than good. I imagined a half eaten pancake pained from someone eating it, the absurdity of my thoughts made me laugh out loud. Kyrah and Tanner were still staring at me, waiting for a response and tangled up in each other. “Sure, that sounds fine.”
“Now that’s settled,” Tanner walked into the kitchen, dragging Kyrah who was still holding onto him, and yelling, “Where is everything?”
“In the cabinets!” I yelled back. I sat down on the couch and turned the TV on flipping through the channels. We had about six hundred of them with the satellite but there wasn’t anything I wanted to watch.
Kyrah started shrieking in a giggly sort of way. “Stop it!” She screamed. “I’m all pancake-y.”
I left the couch to watch from the doorway as my brother continued to make hand prints made of pancake mix on the counters and Kyrah’s clothes. I remembered my camera was only a few feet away and took it out of my bag. I held the viewfinder up to my eye and suddenly felt powerful again. For awhile they had no idea I was taking pictures, and I loved the candidness of the shots I was taking. Photography had always been something I loved because of the way it preserved memories onto paper. I had albums upon albums of memories neatly filling up my closet and never ceased to take the opportunity to add to my collection. It was like I was proving my existence on earth, so sometime I could look back and remember I had a good time at school dances and playgrounds. Even if I wasn’t in these pictures of Tanner, who was attempting to make batter, and Kyrah, who was attempting to distract him with a can of whipped cream, I would know that I enjoyed watching it from behind my camera lens.
(you may have read it before. i tried to edit it a little. it goes over the word max. but i hope that wont matter)
it doesn't all fit so i just put in the beginning. ill put the rest if people respondddd. ♥
The photographs in the one-hour-photo machine - it looked like maybe New York City, someone’s vacation - slid down and sifted into their original order. I was so bored I hardly knew what to do with myself. I was mostly caught up with everything I had to do, so I was forced to let my mind wander while I waited for customers to come in, or closing time to strike. Sometimes I took the piles and looked through customer’s photographs, seeing the excitement in other people’s photographs slightly eased my boredom. Other times I only saw the top photograph as I slid them into the envelope and used it to imagine the rest of the pictures.
I was alone in Sunset Photos - where I worked some nights during the week - which meant there were no people to distract me from my thoughts, and the lack of photographs meant I had no reason to ignore my abandoned history book.
There were people outside walking by, holding hands, and walking into stores. There were palm trees stretching over the sidewalks, and cars speeding down the street. I heard snippets of conversation, people calling out to each other and car radios blasting classic rock songs. Just watching them made me wish I had my camera with me; all of the spare time I had at work could be put to good use with it.
When I moved to California with Zac, my boyfriend, and his band I knew there would be something in the air or sunlight or people that would make me want to take pictures. We arrived at the beach house in a suburb of Santa Monica and I instantly felt like there was an intense need to photograph the entire world around me. I took pictures of their house, sandy feet and the boys as they surfed. I developed black and white pictures in the dark room and used the one-hour-photo machine for my colour film.
Once school started and 78th Street, the band, went on tour I was too consumed with work and school to pause to think about photography. My twin brother Tanner and his girlfriend Kyrah flew in from Oklahoma to stay with me while 78th Street was on tour. My nights of school work and the chances I had to think about taking pictures turned into all night movie marathons and early morning trips to Denny’s. The thought of Denny’s made my stomach gurgle, I hadn’t eaten since before my class at noon and it was five o’clock now; Sunset Photos didn’t close for three more hours.
There was a darkroom in the back, behind the one-hour-photo machine. I walked in there with a cloth in hand, hoping to find something to clean and distract myself from hunger. The vinegar-like scent of the chemicals reminded me of the time I took Tanner into the darkroom at our old high school. While I explained the chemicals, their purposes and how to use them, Tanner was more interested in talking about anything but developing pictures.
There was a faint sound of the bell that indicated that someone had entered the shop. I didn’t want to leave the dark room and chance more customers who wanted advice on cameras or reprints. I was ready to go home and eat dinner, maybe talk to Zac, and watch movies with my brother. I took a deep breath, hoping to hold the chemicals’ scents in as I exited the dark room and wandered slowly back to the front of the store.
“Hey Marianna!” Kyrah’s voice called out.
I was so excited to hear a familiar voice that I started skipping just to see Kyrah’s face quicker. She wasn’t just my boyfriend’s long time girlfriend. She was also my best friend since before High School started, the girl who introduced me to rock music and hair dying. She had a labret piercing and her long brown hair was almost always streaked purple.
“I brought you some food.”
“Oh my god, I love you!” I exclaimed just as I reached the counter that separated us. My stomach growled again as if to emphasize my love for her. “What kind of food?”
Kyrah reached into the paper bag that was resting on the table. She pulled out a sandwich and a plastic bag full of green grapes. “A peanut butter and banana sandwich, grapes, oh, and pudding.” She pulled the last of the contents from the bag and grinned. There was two of everything she named off, along with two bottles of water. “Tanner’s out on the beach, and I was too impatient to wait for him, so I made him a sandwich too then left.”
“You are my hero right now!” I exclaimed. “Thank you so much.”
“Also, you got a letter,” Kyrah placed her message bag onto the counter and started to search through it. “Straight from Mr. Zachary himself,” she said, smiling.
My name was written neatly across the middle of the envelope, right above our address. The “I” in Marianna was dotted with a heart, and I rolled my eyes at the dorkiness. The left hand corner simply said “Zac.” I tore it open slowly wondering what could be inside. The night before on the phone he hadn’t said anything about a letter. I noticed it was post marked in Indiana. I couldn’t wait until the band was back in California again, playing at a venue so I could watch.
“So… what does it say?” Kyrah asked. She nodded her head toward the letter.
I hadn’t pulled the letter out, but I was holding it inside the envelope. I shrugged and pulled it out, disappointed to find that there was just a bright orange post-it note and a small magazine clipping. The note said: Mari - I saw this and thought of you. Maybe you’ll win the big prize? The header on the clipping said, “Capture Emotion.”
I scanned the contest’s rules: a picture is worth a thousand words. Emotion is usually described with words. Can photography be used to express it as well? Take a photograph worth 1001 words to capture any emotion you choose. First prize: Five hundred dollars, spend a day with the photographers of Photography magazine, and have your photograph displayed in our magazine! Second prize: One hundred dollars and have your photograph displayed in our magazine! Third prize: Have your photograph displayed in our magazine!
Kyrah took the paper from her and read it over. “This looks awesome.”
“Yes, it does,” I agreed. I thought maybe this contest would give me something else to think about aside from work and school while Zac was gone. Maybe I would stop counting the days until 78th Street’s tour ended.
*****
It was still light out when I returned home. I ran up to my room to dig out my camera. During my entire walk back from work, I tried to visualize what I would take pictures of, but I wanted everything captured on film.
I decided I wouldn’t tell anyone that I was going to enter. That way if I won it could be a surprise to Tanner, Kyrah and Zac, and if I didn’t win, no one had to know. I put my camera, colour film and a few bottles of Snapple Iced Tea into my bag and left without a word.
The beach had to be one of my favourite places to go and the house we were staying at was only three blocks away. I passed Sunset Photos on my walk there. I couldn’t remember the last time I took the time to photograph for a few hours. I passed a few people on the boardwalk who I thought about photographing. There was a boy with sandy blonde hair who was walking with a boy with a mohawk. They were both dripping wet and carrying surf boards and engrossed in conversation. A little girl ran past them, I wanted to take a picture of her, too. She wore a dress that looked like it was made out of old Care Bear sheets and she weaved in between people as she ran, her little feet making a tapping noise as they hit the ground. She had curly blonde hair that bounced as she ran; she couldn’t have been older than four or five. Further behind her and the two surfers was a woman with bleach blonde hair calling after her.
I wanted to take pictures of all of them, but I reminded myself that I needed to capture emotion and set forward toward the water, though I wasn’t sure where I would find emotion there.
I set up my camera on a lifeguard chair, kneeling behind it with my eye close to the viewfinder so I knew my range, and set the self timer. When I was on the ground, the sand squished up between my toes, then the waves washed over my feet. I danced around as my camera took pictures with its multiple photo setting. I made sad faces, feigning tears with salt water and happier faces, smiling until my wind-blown lips cracked. I growled at the camera, holding my hands up as if I were about to lash out and scratch something. My expressions felt forced, and I was no actress so I stopped after awhile. I wasn’t sure if the camera had even captured my face enough to show emotion, the top of the lifeguard chair was pretty far away from where I posed.
I climbed up the chair’s ladder- my sandy feet risking splinters as they slipped on the rungs- and I held the camera at arm’s length as I repeated the faces for the much closer lens. It didn’t feel any more convincing so I stopped. I decided to seek emotion in strangers and capture their candid moments.
There weren’t any people on the beach and the sun was beginning to fade into the horizon. The sky started to turn pink and orange like sherbet so I headed up toward the street.
I sat on a bench by the road so I could watch the people walk by. There were a few people walking around. A man carried a young boy on his shoulders. The boy played drums on the man’s head. Across the street there was a teenage boy wearing khaki shorts and playing his guitar. He had a bucket hat tipped upside down on the ground for tips but it didn’t look like anyone had contributed to his fund. Tanner and Kyrah passed holding hands, and I jumped to my feet, ready to run out the door and call their names.
I knew she saw me as she passed, because she backed up, dragging my brother, by his hand. Kyrah threw her arms around me. “We were looking for you!” She exclaimed. When she pulled away I took her picture, capturing her lip glossed smile and shining brown eyes onto film.
“We were going to see a discount movie, you should come.”
I glanced at Tanner, who just nodded.
“Okay,” I agreed, slipping my camera into my bag. I didn’t mind taking a break from my pictures for awhile.
*****
Between my classes at school I wandered from building to building holding my camera, ready to take pictures. I hoped that I would see upset girls talking on their cell phones or lonely boys walking with their heads down kicking stones with their feet. There were a lot of people, but they were mostly hustling from class to class, clutching back packs and making top secret phone calls. Nothing caught my eye. After my third class, as I walked back to the bus stop, I passed a statue of a woman crying and took a picture of her. That upped my picture count of the day to five.
I wanted to develop my pictures at work that day but I wasn’t sure if I could use pictures of people without their permission for the contest, and that took away almost half of my undeveloped film. The other pictures I had taken were of me failing to be an actress.
On the bus ride I thought about the contest a little more and tried to imagine what kinds of pictures other people would submit. I hadn’t come up with anything, however, when my phone started to ring. I noticed it was Zac and answered immediately. “Hey.”
“What’s up?” he asked. He called me every night since he went on tour, even if it was after late shows. If I didn’t answer, he left a message and called back early the next day. Even after hearing his voice on the phone every day, it never ceased to excite me.
“Oh I’m just taking the bus to work.”
“Oh.”
“I got your letter yesterday.”
“Great! Are you going to enter that contest?”
“Maybe, I’m not too sure yet,” I lied. I wondered why Kyrah and Tanner hadn’t commented on my sudden interest in taking pictures again.
“You should,” he urged.
“I might.”
“Please?” I could hear people talking in the background. At first they weren’t talking to him, but then they were calling his name.
“Maybe.”
“Hold on.” I heard muffled voices, maybe he had covered the receiver with his hand. When he came back he sounded discouraged. “I have to go, Mari.”
“Oh.” I glanced out the window at the building passing. The bus was almost at my stop.
“But call me and keep me updated about the contest, okay? You have less than a week left.”
“If I enter.”
“I know you will.”
“I miss you Zac.”
“I miss you too Marianna. Tell Kyrah and Tanner I said hi.”
“I will. Have fun doing whatever you have to do.”
“Sound check,” he responded with a laugh. “Bye, bye.”
“Bye.” I closed my phone at the same time the bus stopped on the corner where Surf’s Up Smoothies was. I double checked my bag for my wallet and camera and walked off the bus, mentally preparing myself for another day at work. I had reading to do for class and pictures I could develop. Maybe I would look through peoples’ prints for some sort of inspiration. I was determined for it to be a good night.
*****
It had been three days since the mail brought Zac’s letter. I had three full days ahead before the contest’s postmark date. I had left work early with no definite plans as I walked into the house. My too heavy forest green Jansport bag slid from my shoulder and onto the ground, it landed with a thud.
Kyrah and Tanner sat on the couch with arms around each other and holding hands. Between exchanging saliva and eye contact they made no acknowledgement of my presence until my bag fell to the floor. “Hey,” Tanner spoke. He used his hand to wave and Kyrah’s moved with it.
“What’s up?” I asked, settling onto the recliner. My feet hurt from standing and my brain hurt from thinking. I spent my time at work developing my pictures and looking through others but all I saw were smiling faces, vacation pictures and friends laughing at each other. I acknowledged that happiness was an emotion but it just didn’t seem like the kind of picture that would win a contest.
Kyrah moved off Tanner’s lap, but remained close to him, and she slid her arms around his waist. “We were going to get dinner somewhere, do you want to come?” he asked.
“How about breakfast food?” I asked.
“Why don’t I just make pancakes?” Tanner said, standing up and pulling away from his girlfriend’s grasp.
Her eyes lit up. “Chocolate chip pancakes?”
“As long as we have chocolate chips,” Tanner nodded.
She jumped toward him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She started dancing which made him dance with her. “With chocolate syrup, whipped cream and cherries?”
“Do you want breakfast or dessert?”
“I want both. What about you, Marianna?” She asked.
I shrugged. Chocolate chip pancakes sounded better than good. I imagined a half eaten pancake pained from someone eating it, the absurdity of my thoughts made me laugh out loud. Kyrah and Tanner were still staring at me, waiting for a response and tangled up in each other. “Sure, that sounds fine.”
“Now that’s settled,” Tanner walked into the kitchen, dragging Kyrah who was still holding onto him, and yelling, “Where is everything?”
“In the cabinets!” I yelled back. I sat down on the couch and turned the TV on flipping through the channels. We had about six hundred of them with the satellite but there wasn’t anything I wanted to watch.
Kyrah started shrieking in a giggly sort of way. “Stop it!” She screamed. “I’m all pancake-y.”
I left the couch to watch from the doorway as my brother continued to make hand prints made of pancake mix on the counters and Kyrah’s clothes. I remembered my camera was only a few feet away and took it out of my bag. I held the viewfinder up to my eye and suddenly felt powerful again. For awhile they had no idea I was taking pictures, and I loved the candidness of the shots I was taking. Photography had always been something I loved because of the way it preserved memories onto paper. I had albums upon albums of memories neatly filling up my closet and never ceased to take the opportunity to add to my collection. It was like I was proving my existence on earth, so sometime I could look back and remember I had a good time at school dances and playgrounds. Even if I wasn’t in these pictures of Tanner, who was attempting to make batter, and Kyrah, who was attempting to distract him with a can of whipped cream, I would know that I enjoyed watching it from behind my camera lens.