Not So Super
Prologue
He landed on the roof of my brand new loft. The tiles rose from the ground from the power of his landing, and my evil overlord chair jumped up a little, making me laugh out loud. He walked forward, his hair blowing in the breeze, and his cliché cape floating around him like it was trying to escape gracefully. He advanced on me, his pretty almond-shaped chocolate eyes glinting threateningly. I smirked up at him, crossing my legs, and resting my hands on the arms of my chair. This was going to be interesting. His lips were twisted in an annoyed frown.
“What are you wearing?” He groaned.
I looked down at my expensive white sweater and comfortable jeans and the brand new Italian shoes, then back up at his gorgeous face. “What? Just because I’m evil I can’t dress well?” I smirked. “The real question would be what are YOU wearing? Tights and underpants? Are you trying to turn me on?”
U-know groaned holding the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “No, I am not trying to turn you on, you evil freak!” He spat at me. Aw.
“Hey. I might be evil, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings.” I pouted, raking my eyes up and down his yummy body. “And you are SO trying to turn me on.”
“Stop flirting with me God dammit! We’re supposed to be fight- WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?” U-know shouted, and I laughed. (Evilly of course)
“Nooothing~” I smirked, not moving my eyes up from the point of interest. “Just testing out my X-ray vision.”
“You don’t have X-ray vision!” U-know groaned, then paused momentarily. “Right?” I laughed again. He’s just so adorable. The only reason U-know hasn’t ‘defeated’ me yet (other than the fact that he is clearly in love with me) is that he has no idea what my powers are.
I cocked my head to the side, ‘til it was almost resting on my shoulder. “That’s an interesting mole.” I told him.
“Okay, okay, stop that!” He covered up his crotch with his hands. HAH! He’s so funny. “I don’t have time for this! I have an interview in twenty minutes! Tell me how to diffuse the C-4 bomb you installed on the fountain!” He ordered me.
“Or else what?” I smirked.
“Well, I’ll kill you!” He said matter-of-factly.
“But if you kill me, you won’t know how to diffuse the bomb.” I gasped, putting my finger on my lips in an ‘uh-oh’ face.
He blinked at me in confusion. “Wh… Then I’ll torture you until you tell me!”
“Torture? Sounds kinky. When do we start?” I smiled enticingly at him, and he blinked stupidly again. “Are you going to tie me up? Will there be whips involved?” I wagged my eyebrows at him.
“NO THERE WILL NOT BE WHIPS INVOLVED!” He screamed, clenching his fists at his sides. He’s so cute. “You should be trying to kill me, not seduce me!”
“Oh my God! Will you tell him how to diffuse the bomb already? I mean do you have to yell on my rooftop?” My evil minion slammed open the door that led to the rooftop and screamed at us. “Not everybody wakes up before noon!”
“Yoochun, shut up and get back in your hole, or else I’m telling your mom about your secret stash!” I threatened.
“You ARE evil!” He cried. “And use THE CODE NAMES! What’s the point of insisting on wearing masks if you’re just going to scream our names out to people?!”
“Fine, MICKY! Just get lost! I’m having fun!” I shouted, as he slammed the door closed. I sighed. “I’m sorry, where were we?”
“Who was that?” U-know asked.
“Just my minion, pay him no mind. What were you saying?”
“Oh… right I was saying that you should be trying to kill me, not seduce me!” He shouted, getting back into the mood we were in before.
“Right, right. Is it working?” I smirked.
“Kind of… I mean- HEY! Stop that!” He growled, advancing on me. His every step caused the roof to vibrate and shake. His super strength is so annoying sometimes. Although it could be very useful if used correctly. I snickered at my own joke. “Tell me how to diffuse the bomb!” U-know shouted, grabbing the arms of my chair, and leaning in to stare menacingly down at me.
“Okay, you got me.” I smirked. “I’ll tell you. Come closer.” I motioned for him to come closer. He leaned in, bringing his delicious face nearer. “This is how you do it.” I pressed my lips up against his, wrapping my arms quickly around his neck and trapping him there.
“Mm!” He unsuccessfully tried to pull back from me. I forced his lips open, and slid my tongue into his mouth. We had some kind of sword battle with our tongues for about ten seconds, which resulted in the both of us pressing closer to each other and moaning like we were in heat. I knew this was going to be interesting. It took U-know at least five minutes to realize what he was doing. He grabbed my elbows and pried my arms away from his neck. “How did you do that?”
“Do what, pretty boy?” I batted my eyes in mock-curiosity, resting my chin on my hands.
“Hold me back like that! Do you have super strength too?” He asked, widening his eyes in adorable hopefulness. He’s so cute.
“I don’t know! Do I?” I stood up, and jumped up and down on the roof, making a show of using my whole strength to do it. “I don’t think so.”
“Hm…” Yunho held his chin pensively, staring down at my feet. He was so adorable; I grabbed his face and planted another kiss on his lips. “Will you stop that?” He shouted, annoyed, and slapped my hands away.
“You’re just so cute. It’s hard to resist.”
“Wait! How come your arms aren’t broken?” He grabbed my hands and scrutinized them. “Last time I did that, Min was in the hospital for a week!”
“Who’s Min? You’re not cheating on me are you?” I smirked.
“What are you?” He furrowed his eyebrows at me. “What in hell do you do?”
Time to change the subject. “Do you hear that?” I asked.
“What?” Yunho whipped his head around. “I don’t hear anything.”
“It’s the sound of the clock ticking.” I cocked my head to the side. “Sixty seconds left, Baby.”
“Shit!” He grabbed my shoulders and shook me. “This isn’t the end of it.” He growled. “I’ll be back.”
“I’ll be waiting.” I laughed loudly, as he jumped off the roof, and flew off to diffuse the stupid bomb. The square fountain was really ugly. I just couldn’t stand looking at it; I HAD to blow it up. Why did the idiots in this city build it anyway?
“Did you tell him how to diffuse the bomb?” Yoochun groaned from the doorway.
“Nah.” I took the remote that controlled the detonation device out of my pocket, and pressed on it. In the distance, a small mushroom cloud appeared where the city square should be. I smirked.
“YOU SON OF A BITCH!” U-know’s scream reverberated through the entire city, shaking the ground I was standing on.
I laughed, and strode past Yoochun, heading down the flight of stairs. I tugged on the string that held up my mask, and let the black fabric fall to the floor.
“Where are you going?” Yoochun asked following me down the stairs.
I turned to my minion and smirked. “Unlike you, my couch potato friend, some people have work to do.”
“You’re the CEO of the friggin’ company. You own half of Seoul. I’m sure you can miss work whenever the hell you want.” Chun scoffed.
“I could, but we’re hiring new people today, and you know how much I love to tease the newbies.” I laughed, pushing open my apartment door, and grabbing my car keys off the golden hook. I left the door open for Yoochun, and headed towards the elevator. I leaned back on the small ramp waiting to reach the RC (rez-de-chausse for all you people who have never taken an elevator… And ground floor for all you people who’ve never taken French), twirling the keys around my fingers. The doors slid open with a ding, and I walked out into the lobby.
“Good morning, Kim Jaejoong-ssi. Did you have a good sleep?” My hot lobbyist asked me with a bright smile.
“Yeah, Siwon-ah.” I picked my sunglasses out of my pocket, and slid them onto my face. “You?”
“Me too, thank you for asking Jaejoong-ssi.” He bowed.
I leaned over the counter he was standing behind, and slid my glasses down so I could wink at him seductively. “It would’ve been better if I was there.”
I let him swoon and walked to the glass doors, pushing my glasses back up on my face, and they slid open in front of me. I think today will be a pretty good day. I clicked my keys and my car chirped a few feet away, unlocking. I sighed contentedly, running my fingers over the matte black paint job of my brand new Bugatti Veyron. It’s such a delicious car. I had to have it, the second I saw it in the window of the car dealership. It called out to me, I swear. And the 2 million I blew on it? Pocket change. I slid my fingers under the door handle and a whizzing noise was heard, as the car scanned my fingerprints, and unlocked again. You can never be too careful with a car worth 2 mill. I slid into the upholstered leather seats, curling my fingers around the steering wheel, and sighed again. This is the life. I rolled my thumb over the pad next to the steering wheel and the engine roared to life. I’m not bragging or anything, but this car can go from 0 to 60 in 2.6 seconds. I turned the wheel and pressed on the gas. The car shot off onto the road.
***
“Good Morning Mr. Kim.”
“Can I take your coat, Mr. Kim?”
“What time will you be having your coffee today, Mr. Kim?”
“It’s a beautiful day today, isn’t it Mr. Kim?”
“Donghae don’t kiss my ass it doesn’t suit you.” I told my assistant. I threw my coat to Shin Mi, my personal coat hanger (she does something else too, probably in accounting). “Melissa I’ll have my coffee in 3 seconds, if you’re late you’re fired.” I told the dumb blonde secretary and she skittered off to get me my coffee. She won’t make it in time.
“This is the list of all the interviews you have today.” Donghae handed me a full package.
“Oh God, there’s got to be like a hundred of these.” I groaned, pulling out the resumes of the people applying.
“I told you to call in sick, but do you ever listen? Nooooo.” Donghae rolled his eyes.
“No pay for you this week.” I told him, and walked straight into my office, closing the door behind me before he could enter.
“NOOOO! WHAT ABOUT MY CHILDREN?!” He shouted at the door.
“What children?” I snickered, dropping myself into my big comfortable chair. I sighed, spinning around slowly on my seat. “Three… Two… One…” I turned to the door.
It burst open, letting in a distraught looking Donghae, and a very sweaty Melissa with a cup of coffee. “You’re… coffee…” She gasped, setting the cup on my desk.
“Thanks, darling.” I checked my watch. “Shoot, it took you 13 seconds to get me my coffee. Guess what that means.” I smiled brightly at her.
“I’ll pack my stuff.” She grumbled, slumping her shoulders and walking out of the room.
“What time do the interviews start?” I asked my trusty assistant, looking through the resumes in the folder.
“In fifteen minutes. Are you really not going to pay me this week?” Donghae pouted adorably.
“Hmm… How fast can you get me a bagel?” I asked him without looking up from the papers.
“With cream cheese?”
“If you have to ask, then I’m going to assume you don’t deserve to work here.” I threatened still flipping through the resumes.
“Five minutes!” He cried in panic.
“Make it three, and get me one of those… cinnamon thingies.”
“Cinnamon rolls?”
“Two minutes and forty five seconds.”
“I’M GONE, I’M GONE!” He cried, and left in a rush. I snickered. Donghae is just too much fun to have around.
Since Melissa’s fired, then I guess I’ll have to add a new secretary on my list. I dropped the pile of papers and peeked out my ‘outer door’ into the long hallway where all my potential employees were sitting, sweating profusely in my expensive suede seats. Ugh, I’m going to have to replace those too. I walked out of the room and there was a general hum of excitement and awe. Yeah I’m awesome, stare at me all you want. I turned away from them and headed to the bathroom, praying that none of them would think they should take a friendly leak with their potential future boss.
Five men. FIVE! And I think one of them wasn’t actually a man. They are so not getting hired. Ugh, I was only in there for two minutes, for crying out loud! I washed my hands, and walked out of the bathroom, slamming straight into someone. We both flew to the ground. I looked up from where I was sitting to glare at the man and gaped. He was on his knees, blinking stupidly at me, and searching the ground for his glasses. Holy Fuckmoles.
“I-I’m so sorry, sir.” The man picked up his glasses and slid them back on his gorgeous face. “I was running and didn’t know you were coming out.” He got up, and bowed the whole 90 degrees at me, and I had to cover my mouth to keep myself from laughing. “Are you okay? Nothing’s broken right?” He stared at my face in worry, reaching out to help pull me up.
Really. Too. Cute.
“Well.” I got up, and tried very hard to keep a straight face. “I’ve never in my life seen such an irresponsible person.” I dusted off my shoulders. “What’s your name?”
“J-Jung Yunho.” He said nervously.
“Ga In.” The girl in charge of the interviews turned to look at me. “Make sure this… Yun-ho goes last.”
I turned on my heels and headed back to my office. Plopping myself down on my chair, I let out an evil cackle that I’m pretty proud off. Jung Yunho. Cutie.
~~~
[Yunho’s POV]
“Changmin this is entirely your fault!” I growled into my cellphone at my younger brother. “I told you I was going to be late!”
“Oh so now it’s my fault I sent you to thwart the plans of an evil mastermind?” Changmin scoffed. I could hear him moving around in our kitchen.
“Are you eating? You already had breakfast! DROP THE CHOPSTICKS, MIN!” I shouted at him. “We don’t have the money for your crazy eating habits right now.
“Hey! I’m a growing boy! It’s not my fault you got fired from your last job for breaking too many desks.” He whined.
“Not your fault? NOT YOUR FAULT??!?!?!? ‘Wouldn’t it be cool to have superpowers, Hyung?’ ‘You can fly and have super strength, Hyung!’ ‘It’s totally reversible, Hyung!’” I imitated my little brother’s nasal voice. “Who’s the idiot that told me that, huh? Oh wait let me think… YOU!”
“Well I did succeed in giving you super powers. You could totally just go rob a bank or something.” I could practically hear him shrug.
“We don’t do that, Min! We’re the good guys!” I groaned, forcing myself not to crush my cellphone in my hands. I can’t afford a new one anymore. “Never mind, the evil mastermind thwarted us anyway. Where the hell does that guy get the money to finance all his stupid evil plans?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he has a good savings plan.” Changmin told me. “I wonder where we can get us one of those.” He mused.
“Whatever. I think I’ve figured out another one of his powers.” I told him.
“Is this going to be a long conversation? Don’t you have an interview to prepare for?” Changmin groaned.
“No, because thanks to SOMEBODY, that means you, I’m the last person in line after about 60 million other potential employees.” I complained.
“Well that’s good, they always remember the first and the last guy.”
“I’m going to murder you.” I threatened.
“Fine, fine. What’s the new super power?” He asked, and I heard a crunching noise. Sigh.
“He has X-Ray vision. Maybe.” I told him.
“Thash pretty cool. How dish you fiure tha out?” He said with his mouth full.
“He… well… he sorta… maybe… a little bit looked at my package.” I blushed.
“Why did you take a package on a mission?” Min asked, confused.
“Not that kind of package you dimwit… the OTHER kind.”
“You brought him a gift?”
“AAAH! He looked at my dick, okay? Happy now?” I shouted. A few of my potential-rivals threw me dirty looks and I smiled politely at them.
“How do you know he saw it?” Changmin asked, instantly interested when any kind of genitalia was involved, perverted freak.
“Well… he saw… the mole.”
Changmin burst into laughter. “Are you serious?”
“Shut up!”
“What were his exact words?” Changmin asked, still giggling.
“He cocked his head to the side and said ‘that’s an interesting mole’.” I told him.
“Oh my God! This is so going on my blog. THE mole. Hahahaha.” Changmin snorted. “I’ve got to go, Hyung, Boa Noona is giving me a ride to school today.” He snickered.
“Yah! I thought you were dating… what’s her name.”
“You mean Vicky Noona? Yeah, we’re dating, but her car broke down so…” He shrugged again, I’m sure of it.
“Don’t be such a player.”
“Bye, Hyung.” He hung up.
I groaned, looking at the incredible number of people packed in the hallway. The attractive lady, who’d stuck me in the back of the line, finally started calling people in. What kind of asshole was that guy anyway? He stuck me in the back of the line because I bumped into him on his way out of the bathroom! Who does that? Just because he’s hot doesn’t mean he can just bitch at people. He was totally hot though. Forget it, Yunho; he probably hates you for dusting his Armani sweater. I sighed. I should leave. This is the best place to get a job though. Looks like I’m going to have to tough it out for a few hours. I groaned. The people around me were starting to stare, probably since I was making random facial expressions.
“What are you looking at?” I snapped at one of the future interview-ees, and he whipped his face back to the piece of paper in his hand. Ass.
***
It was almost eight p.m. I was trying to stay awake on the stupid suede couch that kept irritating my skin. There was nobody left, but me in the hallway. I dialled Changmin’s cellphone quickly to check up on him, before the girl who went in before me was done. She stepped out right after Changmin picked up.
“Yo bro. Sup?”
The superhot man that could possibly be my boss, if only I could get Changmin off the phone fast enough, leaned on the doorway and watched me with a familiar looking smirk on his face. I could feel the beads of nervous sweat forming on my forehead. “Don’t talk like an idiot, Min. Did you eat?”
“Of course! I told my Noonas about how my only brother doesn’t even feed me, and they treated me to dinner. How was the interview?” He asked.
“Yeah, that’s great, Min. I’m going in now. See you at home.” I said quickly, and shut the phone gently so that it wouldn’t snap in half. I smiled awkwardly at my potential employer.
“Boyfriend?” He asked in a mocking tone.
“No, it was my little brother.” I smiled.
“So Jung Yunho’s DNA has been spread around.” He smirked. Shit. He remembers my name.
“Right.” I smiled nervously. I really needed this job.
The hot man held open the door with his foot. “Get in.” He said simply. And I complied. I walked quickly to one of the two empty seats in front of the big desk. He followed me, and I could feel his judging gaze on my back. Oh God, this is scarier than that explosion this morning. “So, Yunho…” My potential boss circled around the table, pulling his chair back and sitting on it. “Can I call you that?”
“Y-y-yeah. That’s fine.” I smiled.
He picked up a paper lying on his desk. It looked a lot like my resume. He crumpled it in his hands and tossed it in the bin. “ So...Tell me about yourself.”
__________________
**I watched megamind with my little bro yesterday and this idea just popped into my head and I couldn't stop myself! Don't worry all you readers who are in the process of enjoying Stop Crumbling the Cookie I will definitely be finishing that one, because I want to know how it ends too... so THNX for reading! Enjoy! :D**