title: regret
author:
love_teddies ratings: pg-13
notes: thanks again to
leifang666 for helping
“Gackt!!! Why?” You screamed as he stormed into Gackt's house. “Why the hell did you lie?”
“You, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to” Gackt answered softly and Kamijo's supportive arms tighten offering his lover an emotional defence from You's anger.
“Look straight in my eyes me and tell me both of you are just sex friends!” You really hope that he misheard what Gackt has said just now, calling Kamijo love.
“I'm sorry.” Gackt didn’t know how to tell You, he didn’t want to break his best friend’s heart.
You began to cry. He couldn’t hold it any longer. “How long?”
“More than a month” Gackt answered hesitantly. He couldn’t predict what was to come next.
“A month! A month, so that day you didn’t want me to move in because of him. He has already moved in here, am I right.”
“Yes”
The moment Gackt answered, You slapped him. “Don’t you feel guilty for Kami! You are partially to blame for his death. Is this how you repay him? By using his name as an excuse all this while.” It was true, Gackt had told You that it was because of Kami’s death.
“He wanted me to move on. He told me through a dream. I only used him as an excuse that day because I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to break your heart.”
Another slap went on Gackt’s face. “Lies! What do you see me as?”
“You are my best friend. No one ever will replace that.” Gackt replied.
“Best friends? Who are you trying to kid? Him?” You points at Kamijo. Kamijo who has been looking down holding Gackt’s hand tightly sobbing, looked up when You said that. “Best friends don’t have sex with each other.... I’ve submitted myself to you for so many years. You call that relationship best friend?” You asked sarcastically.
“You, I’m sorry. I’ll tell you the truth if you want. All these years, I treat you as a best friend and a sex friend. I never opened my heart to anybody before Kamijo came into the picture. My heart was still attached to Kami. But when I meet Kamijo, I felt something that I didn’t feel a long time, love. Since then, I couldn’t get him out of my head and I suffered greatly. I was torn between Kami and Kamijo.” Gackt looked into Kamijo’s eyes. “Then Kami told me to move on. So ever since then, we got together. I feel deeply in love with Kamijo.”
You’s heart shattered into a million pieces and reality finally sinks in. He looked at Kamijo with bloodshot eyes. “You witch... What the hell did you do to him?” You charged towards Kamijo, hitting him.
Gackt tried to push You away. But You didn’t give in. Suddenly, Gackt hand connected to You’s face and all the men froze.
You let out a sarcastic laugh. “Now, you even hit me because of him. You hit me... You dared hit me.”
“You. If you want to hit someone, hit me. I am the one to blame. I shouldn’t have played with your heart. But if you ever lay a finger on Kamijo,
I won’t hold back. I would like to ask you to leave now. “
“So this is it.” You gave Gackt one more tight slap before running out crying.
Gackt slumped down on the floor. He still couldn’t register what had just happened. Kamijo kneeled down in front of him and pulled him into a tight embrace. “I’m so sorry” Gackt whispered into Kamijo’s ear
“Don’t be, ok. It’s not your fault that You-san came” Kamijo answered, tightening his hold on Gackt
“It was my fault. I shouldn’t have.......had...”
“Hey, just put aside what happened just now. I think he’ll accept us eventually” Kamijo said trying to comfort Gackt.
_____________
Chacha woke up from his nap with loud bangs from his door. He uttered a few curses while getting up to answer it. But as soon as he opens it he was shocked at what he sees. “You-kun what happened? You look horrible”
You hugged Chacha tightly. “He doesn’t want me anymore” You said in between his cries.
Chacha knew too well who the ‘he’ is. But he didn’t say anything and leads You onto the couch
“Cha, what am I going to do? How could this happen?” You said
Cha raised his fingers to brush away the tears on You’s cheeks. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what happened”
“Gackt is with....with...with Kamijo” You started to break down again “They’re serious about it. I don’t know what to do anymore. I spent more half my life hoping to be with him. He only sees me as his....his.....fuck buddy all this while. Cha, I’m so lost”
“You-kun, it already happen so just let it pass. Life still has to go on. All this is fate. If he is meant to be yours he will be but it he is not meant to be yours, then whatever you do it will never work. Maybe there is another person out there waiting for you.”
“Cha, who will want me. I’m a slut” You said turning away from the older man.
“Don’t call yourself that. The person waiting for you all this time is...” Cha took You’s hand “I love you, Kurosaki You.”