inbetween dating and relationship problems
I've been seeing this boy for a couple of months now, although we've known each other for 2 years and became especially close friends a few months before, I feel serious about him and like I want to be in a relationship with him but I don't know if he feels the same. When I visited him over the weekend (we live 2 hours away from each other so I only get to see him every few weeks) he finally gave me my birthday present late and he said "You don't have to get me something because I've been so late with yours" and I asked him to remind me of the date of his birthday and he said October, and I asked if he thinks we'll still be together by then and he said "I don't know, what do you think?" and I said that I'd like to be and he came out with **this is the part that concerns me** "I like things how they are now, I hate when things get too serious and they get ruined". WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! Like what is gunna change between us if we just say we're in a relationship rather than dating? Because we're already basically a couple anyway and everyone says it. We've always been open and soppy with each other and talked about next year when we will finally be living in the same city and I've met his entire family on a couple of occassions and it just seemed like it was always gunna go that way with us and now I'm not so sure.
Also there was another thing that bugged me this weekend, urgh, I know he still speaks to his ex girlfriend sometimes. They were together for 3 years and they split up about 5-6 months ago (I don't know exactly when because he never mentioned when they broke up to me, he just told me one day that he's been single for a while and I was secretly elated about it, which is not so secret now). And he says he doesn't know why she still speaks to him because they never really have anything to say to each other and I really don't mind they fact that they still speak it shows they are nice and mature people BUT he sent me a snapchat a few days ago with food coming out his mouth and over his face and looking gross with the caption "KISS ME" and when I was with him he opened a snapchat from her doing the same thing...so he obviously sent that one to her too. I know he always sends everyone the same snapchats but I feel that was inappropiate, I wouldn't of sent that to my ex, and I wish I said something at the time but I just pretended I was looking the other way.
I feel like he's just taking the mickey and having all the advantages of having a girlfriend like someone to talk to every day, and have regular sex with, and show off to his friends about, but then not actually really commiting. I think he just see's my laid back and care free side but of course I'm going to want our relationship to develop over some time, especially when things have been so intense and passionate between us at times. What should I do? Should I give him an ultimatum sort of thing when I next see him? Be honest and say I don't want to be with him at all unless he feels it will eventually go somewhere? Or just wait it out until he develops the same feelings as me? Or have I waited too long already? Is it too late to bring up the ex-gf snapchat thing? Do I have any right to bring it up at all since we're not "official"?
Also there was another thing that bugged me this weekend, urgh, I know he still speaks to his ex girlfriend sometimes. They were together for 3 years and they split up about 5-6 months ago (I don't know exactly when because he never mentioned when they broke up to me, he just told me one day that he's been single for a while and I was secretly elated about it, which is not so secret now). And he says he doesn't know why she still speaks to him because they never really have anything to say to each other and I really don't mind they fact that they still speak it shows they are nice and mature people BUT he sent me a snapchat a few days ago with food coming out his mouth and over his face and looking gross with the caption "KISS ME" and when I was with him he opened a snapchat from her doing the same thing...so he obviously sent that one to her too. I know he always sends everyone the same snapchats but I feel that was inappropiate, I wouldn't of sent that to my ex, and I wish I said something at the time but I just pretended I was looking the other way.
I feel like he's just taking the mickey and having all the advantages of having a girlfriend like someone to talk to every day, and have regular sex with, and show off to his friends about, but then not actually really commiting. I think he just see's my laid back and care free side but of course I'm going to want our relationship to develop over some time, especially when things have been so intense and passionate between us at times. What should I do? Should I give him an ultimatum sort of thing when I next see him? Be honest and say I don't want to be with him at all unless he feels it will eventually go somewhere? Or just wait it out until he develops the same feelings as me? Or have I waited too long already? Is it too late to bring up the ex-gf snapchat thing? Do I have any right to bring it up at all since we're not "official"?