Ascension and Descent

[culoslap]

I'm going to try my best to chronicle my efforts to ask out this girl I met at the gym. Normally I keep these things to myself for if failure calls me to the stage, I have an audience of none. I'm just looking for some female insight. Also posting this to my personal journal

Comments

[sarahk25]

Ask her out ... ask to meet you for coffee or something.

[culoslap]

I'm trying to find the right moment. I have her number but I don't want to bother her with a text message. Next time I see her at the gym I'll see how it goes and casually invite her to do something.

[x_jessicah]

You seem super respectful, and I'm sure the girl you're interested in sees this.

Usually when a girl says her phone isn't working, it's a polite way of saying she isn't interested... BUT she showed you that her phone actually isn't working right.

I think she's interested, at least on some level. If I were you, I'd ask her out in person. Girls like that. If she seems to be hesitant about you asking her out, just let her know it's ok and that you hope the two of you can remain gym friends.

I hope this works out for you.

[culoslap]

Yes. She demonstrated that number pad on her iPhone was not inputting properly. As a result, she gave me hers instead. I'm not the kind of person to ask a girl out over text. I understand that's not the best move and will completely stay away from the phone. If we end up walking out again I'll say something. I really just hope she doesn't feel the need to avoid me. Thanks for the encouragement :D

[the_wild_ones]

Yah everything just feels off...

[the_wild_ones]

the she-nazi comment definitely rang my alarm as well. just reminds me of "nice" dudes who thinks that women should be interested just because they are nice. then freak out with misogynistic comments when women don't respond.

also "I'm not the kind of guy to fixate on getting a response." the length of the post kinda says otherwise.

[lookfar]

Did not care for the "she nazi" comment. Keep in mind what the real Nazis did; don't apply that word loosely.

Other than that, I think that this girls sounds into you but why aren't you asking her out? I mean, "take my number" is a little too cool for me, although you should know I'm a middle-aged lady and all my dating experience was in the 80s. But it can't hurt to be assertive, right? As in, "Would you like to have dinner this Friday night?" or "Are you coming to the gym on Saturday? Want to meet up and get coffee afterward?" Give her something to say yes or no to, then you'll know her inclinations. It looks to me as if she is giving you Go signals, or was, but you aren't taking the full step.

Good luck!

[culoslap]

It was a statement written hyperbolically and tempestuously but I will not use that word again. I apologize.

I kind of sort of asked her out when I mentioned if she'd like to meet up to tell her of my trip. Not the most aggressive or proactive way of getting her to meet with me. I'd rather treat this with finesse over force. I'll have to wait and see when I can strike with skillful deployment of that perfect amount of finesse and assertiveness. I highly doubt that the dance of dating has changed much since the 80's. You try to find the others' footing until you move harmoniously. Whether it be to the soundtrack of The Breakfast Club or something more contemporary. In any case, Lady Agnew, I appreciate the advice. I'll try to give any relevant updates as they come.

[tacit]

Her behavior as you describe it is consistent with what I would expect from someone who was not interested in dating you but didn't want to say "no" directly.

[culoslap]

That's what I'm guessing. Unfortunate but sometimes you just have to call it like you see it.