it's always sunny in space (8/13)
apocryphalic +
lovecloudsyunho/changmin
pg-13
fbi!changmin meets alien!yunho, his yoga instructor. commence bending, finding inner peace, and discovering love that's out of this world.
previous:
chapter 1 l
chapter 2 l
chapter 3 l
chapter 4 l
chapter 5 l
chapter 6 l
chapter 7 ---
Yunho sits uncomfortably on their couch, a pillow in his lap, legs crossed, eyes looking up at Changmin in nothing but apology.
Changmin is pacing back and forth slowly in front of Yunho, hand on his forehead the way he always does when he has a headache. He turns to his boyfriend a couple of times but then actually feels a wave of nausea when he sees Yunho's carefully hopeful face and almost bursts out crying.
"Changmin-ah..." Yunho says softly, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for not telling you. Can you please come here and sit down?"
Changmin wishes somehow he could take back time, wishes that he hadn't woken up and that he was still in bed wrapped around sweat and come coated sheets. Wishes that this was nothing but a nightmare. But it's not, it's very real and Changmin's very screwed.
"I'm FBI," he repeats as he takes a seat next to Yunho, sitting far enough so they're not touching but close enough to feel Yunho's inviting warmth. "The kind that goes after aliens," he says, voice dropping a few notches and cringing when he sees Yunho's hand twitch. "You in particular."
Yunho nods slowly and walks his fingers over like little legs between them on the couch, hesitating before he reaches Changmin's hand.
"It's okay," he says softly, naively, "that doesn't change anything, right? I mean, to me...you're the alien. But that doesn't matter, right?" There's a certain hint of desperation in his tone and Yunho can hear it, knows that Changmin must be able to hear it; after all, the younger man's trained to read and catch inflections. "I love you," Yunho whispers, his fingers walking a little closer to Changmin's hand, lifting one to wave shyly at the younger man, "that's enough, isn't it?"
Changmin looks down at Yunho's fingers waving at his own and blinks away his tears, desperately wishing now that it's all a dream. "I'm supposed to catch you, Yunho, I was sent here to find you and hand you over." He swallows uneasily and shakes his head, heart suddenly that much heavier with love and responsibility. "What am I supposed to do now Yunho? Why did you have to be an alien?" he whispers, slowly turning his hand over to catch Yunho's fingers, holding onto them tightly, unwilling to let go still.
Yunho looks at Changmin before moving over urgently, their hands still clasped while he reaches over to envelope Changmin in a tight hug. He occupies the space of Changmin's lap and hides his face in the younger man's neck, upset and scared.
"That's like me asking you why you had to be a human," he says softly, shaking his head. "That's not fair, Changmin-ah. Why does it matter? You can't love me anymore?"
He pulls back to look into Changmin's eyes, quietly pleading. Yunho squeezes Changmin's hand to prove that he's real, he's here, and he's scared.
"You can't love me just because I'm-"
"An alien?" Changmin asks, voice tight.
Yunho looks at the younger man a little longer, then shakes his head sadly. "Just because I'm different?"
"I do, of course I love you," Changmin replies, throat clogged with tears, "but I was sent here to catch you. To turn you in. That's my job."
"So forget it," Yunho whispers, leaning in to press a soft kiss to Changmin's lips, wanting to remind the younger man of how good they are together, how happy they can be. "Let's just go away. Let's go far, far away and live on the beach and drink cocktails and make love on huge beds every night, okay?" He smiles gently and kisses Changmin again, wrapping his arms fully around the younger man's neck now, too scared and unwilling to let go. "Changmin, I love you. I love you. You. Not the human, not the undercover FBI agent, I just love you."
Changmin quietly curls his arms around Yunho's waist, hugging him closer and protectively. "It's my job," he repeats, head hung low as he muffles his words into Yunho's shoulder. "I can't just leave and we can't go far away. This is real life and things aren't that simple," he says, a trace of bitterness in his voice. "You know, you know that I love you," he chokes out softly, biting back a sob. "But this is the government and there's no running from them Yunho, they want you, they'll go to any extent to get you."
He lifts his head and looks into Yunho's eyes, shaking his head slowly as he presses a tiny kiss to Yunho's lips, dry and full of everything he wishes they could be.
"No, no Changmin, please, you can't even tell I'm an alien. I look human-,"
"But you're not," Changmin cuts in, eyes boring into Yunho's. "You're not human Yunho and none of your gadgets will make you human." Changmin closes his eyes, arms winding even tighter as he pulls the older man into a tight hug. "I can't let go, what am I suppose to do Yunho? I can't let go."
Yunho breathes in the scent of Changmin's hair, heart clenching to hear the pain in Changmin's voice. "So don't," he says simply. "Don't let go."
They stay together on the couch for what seems like an eternity, Yunho not moving a single muscle until the sun is more than just up, it's starting to inch into setting. They haven't resolved anything, haven't worked anything out, and Yunho actually doesn't have any clue what he can say or do to make things better.
"Are you hungry?" he asks softly, finally pulling back to cup Changmin's cheeks warmly in his hands. "I'll make us some jjigae if you want. I don't want you skipping meals. Your health is always most important."
Changmin blinks at the brightness filtering into the room, closing his eyes again before shaking his head and shifting to lie on the sofa, pulling Yunho into his arms snugly. "I'm not hungry," he whispers quietly, curling his arms tightly around Yunho's waist, "I don't want you to move, please just stay here with me."
Changmin's always been independent and taken charge of his own life, never really having had to be afraid of anything before. And yet at this moment, with the one person he loves the most, he's afraid and he doesn't even know what he can do, can't see a solution to their problem. Not one that Changmin can envision following through with because it's either he turns Yunho in or he let's Yunho go; there is no solution with them in it.
"You're thinking too hard," Yunho says softly, pressing his nose against the soft skin of Changmin's neck. "You're going to give yourself another headache."
He shifts them around until Changmin's the one lying in his arms, wrapping his limbs possessively and protectively around the younger man, placing a gentle, loving kiss to the top of Changmin's head.
"Don't think so much all by yourself, okay? I promise that things will be okay. I'll make sure that they are."
"How're you going to do that?" Changmin asks, voice nothing more than a pained whisper.
Yunho smiles a little and tilts Changmin's chin up for a real kiss this time, keeping it soft and tender, putting all the love he can into it. "I'll do whatever you want me to," he says simply, "because I trust you. And you always do what's right, Changmin-ah, I know you. That's why I love you. We'll be fine, okay? Promise."
Changmin feels fear creeping into his heart, fear and uncertainty, and he wants nothing more than to stay here in Yunho's arms where he knows he'll be loved no matter what. "You shouldn't trust me," he whispers, "you should go," he murmurs, heart already breaking to have to say these words. "Yunho, you need to go back to where you came from before they come for you. I'm not the only agent on the case and someone else is going to trace you and find you. You need to go."
He pushes up from Yunho's embrace only to be tugged back down by the older man. "No," Yunho says firmly, "I'm not going to go. I'm staying here with you. That's what I was calling Jaejoong to say, that I want to stay and I'm not leaving because I found love and I would never leave you."
Changmin chuckles oddly, pushing away with more force until he's staring Yunho in the eyes, angered and hurt. "You really think things are that simple? That love solves everything? Yunho, this is Earth and we have rules and responsibilities. I have responsibilities and duties to my job, to the government." He takes in Yunho's tears, reaching out to brush them away with his thumb before looking away.
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
"I don't care," Yunho whispers petulantly, grabbing one of Changmin's hands as it comes to brush away more tears, "I don't care what you want me to do or what you say you have to do. I don't care. I'll help you, I'll do it, I'll turn myself in if you want."
He takes a deep breath, knowing just how severe and serious his claim is. Even he knows that if he turns himself in, chances are, he's not going to see daylight again.
"Because even if they lock me up, you'll still come visit, right?" Yunho asks, looking desperately into Changmin's eyes. "You'd still come see me and even if visiting hours are only at 3 in the morning for sixty minutes, I'd still rather have that than nothing at all. So can't I stay, Changmin-ah? I love you. I need you."
Changmin tries to steel himself, swallowing back the stubborn yes that's making it's way up his throat and fighting to be heard. "Yunho, stop, you need to go," he repeats again, moving further away from Yunho, smiling wryly as he reaches to pull Yunho up, cupping the older man's cheeks gently. "You don't know what they'd do to you; there's things Yunho, it's the FBI, we're not the police, we don't adhere to the same rules about cruelty. They'll do anything to get you to talk, anything." Changmin shakes his head, leaning to press a gentle kiss to the older man's lips. "Go, you have to go, if you don't, they'll ruin you. I'll ruin you," he whispers, willing Yunho to understand.
"I don't care!" Yunho nearly yells back in desperation, clutching at Changmin, refusing to be pushed away. "Stop, stop it!" He fights with Changmin to stay close, something so ironic and messed up, and Yunho finally starts to really cry, weak little sobs that rip at Changmin's heart. "Stop it," he begs, "stop! I just want to be with you!"
Yunho claws at Changmin's robe to pull him closer, doing his best to hide away in Changmin's arms, afraid of everything else out there.
"You can't leave me," he whispers brokenly, "so you can't really expect me to make the willing decision to leave you, either. I don't care what they do to me. Nothing can be worse than being apart from you."
Changmin exhales, crumbling the second he had seen Yunho cry and wraps his arms tightly around Yunho, tangling their limbs together as he rocks them back and forth. "I love you," he whispers over and over, the only thing he can promise Yunho now. "I love you, I love you so much and I need you too." He closes his eyes, crying silently with the older man in his arms, so many unspoken words between them.
He holds Yunho warm in his arms, wishing that he could protect and always keep this man safe, praying for a miracle, something and anything. Changmin swallows back his words and just holds him; there's nothing he can do anymore because even if he knows exactly what they'll do to Yunho, what they can and will do, he's every bit as selfish as a two year old child, wanting Yunho to be with him, stay forever. And he wants it no matter the cost.
"Let's eat," he chokes out after a long while, pulling away to brush his fingertips across Yunho's skin, "Let's eat and I don't want you to talk about any of this," he whispers, "if we don't talk about it, it's not real," he says with a watery smile, begging to be the foolish man in love for just a little while longer.
Yunho smiles sadly at Changmin's words but doesn't disagree; at this point, he's willing to do anything as long as Changmin just stays with him, happy and in love, no other people or responsibilites involved.
"Just the two of us," he says softly, kissing Changmin gentle and tender on the lips. "It's always best when it's just us." He wipes at his own eyes and then at Changmin's, kissing for a little while longer before pulling both of them off of the couch. Yunho grabs the dropped robe Changmin had gotten for him and slips it on, walking hand in hand to the kitchen where he makes them both a huge pot of kimchi jjigae because it's one of Changmin's favorites.
They cancel everything on their calendars, unplug all the phones, take out the batteries of their cellphones, and just hide away in the apartment to be together.
It's the only time that they really have. Changmin can barely speak, barely breathe, barely keep from breaking down when every kiss feels like a goodbye.
---
Tuesday, I'll turn him in on Tuesday, Changmin thinks on Sunday night.
But then Monday comes around and Yunho orders an entire menu of movies off of pay-per-view and they spend the entire day and night watching movies on the couch, huddled together, wrapped around each other so tightly that their limbs are all a mess.
"I don't get this one," Yunho whispers into Changmin's ear, his chin moving back and forth with each word from where he's perched on the younger man's shoulder. He tightens his arms around Changmin's waist and pulls impossibly closer, loving the solid feel of Changmin's back against his chest. "We can either switch movies...or...let's make out until this one's over."
And Changmin turns around, shaking his head with a small smile, and kisses him, swallowing back his tears with every press of Yunho's impossibly soft lips on his own.
Wednesday then, definitely Wednesday, Changmin tells himself midway through a tender kiss, so full of love and unspoken fears that Changmin can only wrap his arms tighter around Yunho, flipping them around and letting Yunho love him.
Tuesday passes by in a blur, cooking and laughing as they bake cakes and make cookies, the flour on Yunho's nose more adorable and beautiful than Changmin could've expected.
Wednesday night finds them in a warm bath, Changmin straddling Yunho's lap as they kiss, lips locked almost desperately, breaths of air taken in through the nose so they never have to part.
Yunho wakes up first that Thursday, snuggled and tangled impossibly close with Changmin and kisses him awake with a soft I love you. It's the day Yoochun comes, knocking on their door and asking for Changmin with a frown on his face.
Yunho waits in the bedroom, their hushed but angry voices floating through the hallway. Changmin comes back to him an hour later, tired and weary as he curls Yunho close, hugging him tightly.
Yoochun's pressing the case; the higher ups are complaining about how long it's taking for Changmin to come up with results of some kind, any kind. There's going to be other agents, even more than before, dispatched to the case, especially after the recent problems in LA. The Super Juniors have caused a scene even though Changmin has a feeling that it's all unintentional, and it's not that hard to put two and two together. Heechul's in LA. Heechul, Yunho's wonderful hyung.
Changmin's living on borrowed time now and he knows he's got no choice. It's not like he ever really had one but there's a deadline now and he's got to stop making excuses for them, stop delaying the inevitable because in the end, Changmin is who he is and it doesn't matter if he loves Yunho or not.
Sunday, he finally decides, pulling away to give Yunho a kiss and a tender smile. "Want to go out on Saturday? Let's go out and eat somewhere fancy, like those dates we always used to go on."
One last date, one last time making love, and one last kiss. He owes Yunho that much.
---
Hit Counter i still haven't set up my net yet. :( but school has started (:)?) for both of us, so updates should be fine. :D thanks for reading!