hands meant to hold
hands meant to hold
suho/kai
nc-17
when every day should be filled with being in love.
---
Shoes, socks. Shirt, pants. A pause, then underwear.
Jongin is grinning as he crawls under Junmyeon’s covers, hoping the stars in his eyes aren’t glittering too bright as Junmyeon collects him in the warmest embrace.
---
Some of them think that Jongin developed a fondness for reviewing their schedule every day due to some rub-off responsibility from being around Junmyeon so much. Not so true, Jongin isn’t all that meticulous about scheduling for the sake of it, but he does have his own motives. Being busy is never a bad thing but it does impede on how often he gets to be intimate with Junmyeon, and Junmyeon, being Junmyeon, is someone that Jongin always wants to have his hands on.
Maybe some of it is hormones. Youth, impatience, attractiveness; he’s got a lot going for him. But then, so does Junmyeon, and Jongin hasn’t been in love before him, but he did go through the motions to get in some practice with a few people along the way.
Junmyeon had been very thoughtful that one time he spoke of his first relationship that mattered. It was something you can call love, he had said, and Jongin had wondered about that one, but there had also been a mischievous glint in his eyes because it was just the two of them wrapped around each other in bed then. What does that mean? Jongin had asked, maybe a little jealous, to which all Junmyeon said in reply was to kiss him so long that Jongin’s brain turned to soda foam and fizzled away to nothing.
Well, ten years down the line, if anyone were to ask Jongin about his relationship with Junmyeon, he would answer differently. It’s love, he would say, the kind you have for lifetimes, which is why you don’t even think about it on most days.
It’s the simplicity that’s really special. There are circumstances to their relationship that are obvious complicated, and so many factors around them that disapprove every facet of them being together, but the feeling itself? That’s pure, that’s easy.
Somewhere between the first time Junmyeon held him as he cried on the practice room floor and the last bucket of chicken Junmyeon had bought him before their official debut, Jongin fell in love. Obviously it wasn’t something he realized very quickly, he’s a bit slow on the uptake and that’s a self-admittance, but it was a feeling he fell into more comfortably than he had expected.
Love is supposed to come with all this torture and angst, right? So he moped for a bit about how Junmyeon would probably never look at him or think of him in the same way, but then Sehun smacked him upside the head one day and told him to open his goddamn eyes. So he did, and he cuddled up to Junmyeon a little closer at every opportunity he had, and he found that the megawatt brilliance of Junmyeon’s smile was always brighter in his direction, and then--ooooh, okay. Apparently Junmyeon had been head over heels infatuated with him for years and years and Jongin had been too preoccupied basking in Junmyeon’s brilliance to notice it properly.
Talk about appreciating each other too much.
---
Junmyeon runs two fingers down the length of Jongin’s back, parallel to the pretty arch of his spine. The purr that Jongin gives him is too cheeky for Junmyeon’s liking but he doesn’t do anything about it; this is, after all, mostly about Jongin, though Jongin would protest himself hoarse if Junmyeon ever admitted that intention to him out loud.
Jongin arches his belly towards the bed more, throwing a dark look over his shoulder. “Hyung,” he moans, dragging the word out, spreading his thighs a bit wider.
He’s slick and eager from prep but Junmyeon seems intent on taking it slow. It drives Jongin up the wall but he understands that Junmyeon is careful with him out of love, out of fear of hurting him, and that’s not something he can complain about. His cock does, though, and he can tell without having to check that he’s making a wet mess on Junmyeon’s sheets.
“Hyung, fuck me,” he whines, just this side of breathless. Jongin bites his lip, fascinated with the way Junmyeon’s face darkens, the black want of his eyes. It’s not a look many people are privy to and Jongin hogs it with greed.
The heat of Junmyeon’s body drapes over him like a familiar blanket. Jongin moans again, his knees sliding farther apart and spine curving more to accommodate, wanting Junmyeon as close as he can get him. He’s never been a fan of being caged in, he’s got too much energy to stay contained in one place for long, but if it’s Junmyeon, god, he’s happy to never move again.
His throat tightens in anticipation as the hard line of Junmyeon’s cock grinds against the crease of his ass. Junmyeon’s so hard, he’s that way for Jongin. Of course it’s a point of pride-there was a time when Jongin hadn’t thought Junmyeon would ever want him this way, and there had been a lot of embarrassment and shame attached to that.
“Ah- hyung!” Jongin cries out, trying to muffle his moans at first and quickly giving up altogether. Junmyeon pushes in with ease, there’s no part of Jongin that resists, but the fill is still as incredible as it was the first time. Jongin claws in air to his lungs through every gasp he can manage, fingers fisted in Junmyeon’s sheets. “Hyung, so good,” he breathes, blush high and fierce on his cheeks, thighs quivering from being so tense.
Junmyeon runs his fingers through Jongin’s sweaty hair, arching forward to press a fond kiss to Jongin’s temple. “You’re incredible,” he whispers, because he doesn’t have enough breath to say it any louder. Jongin flexes tight around his cock and Junmyeon groans in appreciation, slowly sliding all the way in.
Though he tries not to, Jongin hears himself whining again, his front half collapsed to bed. His ass is pressed airtight to the hollow of Junmyeon’s hips and he feels so much like they were made for each other, two imperfect pieces that fit together so perfectly. Jongin bites his lip, chews on it, his face flaming again as Junmyeon moans in his ear. He wants to make Junmyeon feel good, he’s never wanted anything else in all the time they’ve done this. Junmyeon always watches out for his pleasure first, that’s just the kind of lover Junmyeon is, but Jongin isn’t so different, either-he loves Junmyeon more than he could ever express and he wants to please him in every way he can.
“Hyung, please,” he begs, voice quiet and shaking. Junmyeon runs his fingers through his hair again, gently tugging at the strands, but Jongin doesn’t want him to be so gentle. He arches his spine and rolls his hips as much as he can in the little space that Junmyeon’s given him, moaning in appreciation when Junmyeon’s hard cock pushes against the bundle of pleasure inside of him.
There’s nothing that Junmyeon doesn’t know about his body. Jongin’s grip on the sheets tighten as Junmyeon pulls out of him, a cry torn from his throat when Junmyeon thrusts back in.
It hasn’t been so long since the last time but Jongin is already so restless for it, desperate for more. “Junmyeon-hyung, Junmyeon-hyung,” he chants, cheek pressed into the sheets, one of Junmyeon’s hands still in his hair. He half-tries to push up but Junmyeon’s grip tightens and forces him still again, so Jongin just arches his ass back to meet Junmyeon’s thrusts the best he can, pretending he can’t hear himself whining and begging Junmyeon to fuck him harder.
Junmyeon hums Jongin’s name, mouthing wet, half-formed kisses over the ripple of muscles in Jongin’s back. The smooth, warm taste of his skin tempts Junmyeon to suck harder, and though he worries about hickeys, he wants Jongin so much more than being responsible.
His grip in Jongin’s hair tightens more and Jongin cries out, breaths noisy and unsteady in the quiet of their bedroom. Junmyeon snaps his hips, fucking the breath right out of Jongin’s lungs, a shocked, airy sound that makes Junmyeon’s cock throb.
“Feel good?” he mumbles into Jongin’s skin, scraping his teeth over a knob of Jongin’s spine.
“Good, so good,” Jongin gasps immediately, clenching tight around his cock. God, he’s so tight, so warm.
Junmyeon shudders, pumping his cock in again, moan low and all gravel at the slick slide in and the way Jongin’s walls cling to him every drag out.
“You feel so good,” he whispers, stuttering it out, rocking into Jongin’s body deep and steady. Though Junmyeon isn’t going all that fast, he is thrusting as long and deep as he can, wanting to reach Jongin at his core. Though he tries not to act it, Junmyeon is a jealous person. He likes to keep all of what he believes to be his, and Jongin has been his since the moment Jongin had first taken his hand, shy and a shade of scared, and said, I’m glad we’re here together, Junmyeon-hyung.
Jongin is so messed up on the inside. His chest is on fire, a need so deep at his core that the backs of his eyes sting just thinking about it, but at least he has the distraction of Junmyeon driving him crazy.
“Hyung, hyung,” he moans, mindlessly loud, clenching desperately around the hard length of Junmyeon’s cock, “I’m gonna come, I’m close--”
Junmyeon’s hand moves from Jongin’s hip to his high inner thigh, just a grope, but it’s a shift that has Jongin yelling with pleasure. It’s just a little hike up but the pressure changes enough to make his eyes roll back in his head, mouth open in soundless moans. He arches down so far his nipples are rubbing rough against the sheets every time Junmyeon fucks into him but that’s not something Jongin has complaints about.
Junmyeon’s fingers dance along the inside of his thigh, digging in every now and then because Junmyeon knows what Jongin likes. Jongin’s drooling onto the sheets, he can feel the wet spot against his cheek, but Jongin has no mind left to feel embarrassed by it.
He’s wound so tight, coiled up tight enough to snap. “Hyung, I- ahn, I’m--!!” Junmyeon squeezes his thigh again, and Junmyeon is whispering something into his back, Jongin wants so desperately to hear what he’s saying, but Junmyeon twists the fingers in Jongin’s hair and wrenches him back before he can make it out. Totally caged under Junmyeon’s warmth, Jongin whimpers, knees sliding, cock aching and throbbing with the need to release.
Junmyeon’s teeth sink into his neck, and he pushes his cock in so hard, so far that Jongin yells. He starts to say Junmyeon’s name but then he’s coming, screaming with it, body jerking in Junmyeon’s grasp so hard that the rest of his moans come out sobs. Jongin’s shaking apart, cock more painful than ever from having come without being touched, his spine melting so Junmyeon can do with his body as he likes.
He stuffs his hand in his mouth and bites hard on his knuckles, trying to survive the fire burning through his body. Fuck, it’s so good, he wants to die.
“Junmyeon-hyung, fuck me, yes,” Jongin slurs, putty in Junmyeon’s arms, loving the way Junmyeon’s losing control in him. He clenches weakly, moaning lustily as Junmyeon’s hips stutter in a tell that only Jongin knows.
He turns his face and suffocates himself in the sheets, goosebumps rippling down his back in anticipation. “Jongin, Jongin!” Junmyeon is moaning, and Jongin muffles another cry for his hyung, cock twitching even though he’s so spent he feels he could sleep for a decade.
“Come in me, Junmyeon-hyung,” Jongin whines, face beet red, half from arousal and half in embarrassment. He chews his lip again, making the most pathetic noises as Junmyeon fucks into him mindlessly, shuddering his relief when Junmyeon finally, silently stills above him. Junmyeon doesn’t like to make so much noise when they have sex but he’ll still moan for Jongin to enjoy. Jongin does so enjoy the noises Junmyeon makes-especially in moments like these, when Junmyeon can only moan his name over and over again, coming inside of him deep and thick, rocking into him and holding him like he never wants to let go.
It’s only when Jongin comes out from hiding and claws a noisy gasp into his lungs that he realizes he stopped breathing for a while. Lightheaded and still shuddering, he gently tips his ass up, pressing into the hollow of Junmyeon’s hips some more. He loves being cradled there, like there couldn’t be anyone else that Junmyeon could find more perfect than him. Jongin wants to think that that’s true.
Junmyeon’s fingers are stroking through his hair again, gently combing out the damp, tangled strands. “You really are so incredible,” Junmyeon whispers, and Jongin tries not to swell up too much with pride.
Though they usually try for some sort of cleaning up after sex on most nights, Jongin really doesn’t want to move. He’s disgruntled enough when Junmyeon pulls that perfect cock out of his ass, and though it’s unreasonable to think that he could have Junmyeon anywhere and anytime he so wished, it doesn’t make the unreasonable side of Jongin stop wanting it. He wiggles his ass in the air just because he can, groaning when Junmyeon smacks him on one cheek before groping him nice and eager.
“Don’t tempt me, Kim Jongin,” Junmyeon says. Though his voice is light, there’s nothing jokey about it; Jongin tips himself over onto his side before he pushes his luck. While he would definitely let Junmyeon use him for a happy round two, his body is about as responsive as a wet paper towel at the moment.
“Watch out, I came all over there,” Jongin mumbles tiredly, tugging on Junmyeon’s wrist. He wiggles to the side, pulling Junmyeon around him where there isn’t a wet spot all over the sheets. Some sort of shyness is probably apt at this moment but Jongin’s kind of proud he’s managed to mess Junmyeon’s sheets up that much. “You felt so good, Junmyeon-hyung.”
Junmyeon smiles at him, bright but as exhausted as Jongin’s feeling. They’ve been doing concerts-it’s a wonder they managed to have sex at all tonight.
“You did too, Jongin-ah,” he whispers, pressing a warm kiss to Jongin’s mouth. Jongin thinks it won’t last long but Junmyeon surprises him when he tries to break it; Junmyeon’s arm snakes tighter around his waist, his other hand at the back of Jongin’s neck, and Jongin melts into the kiss like with everything else Junmyeon does to him. He breathes unsteadily into Junmyeon’s mouth, eagerly nipping on Junmyeon’s rosy bottom lip when Junmyeon smiles and quietly says his name.
Junmyeon’s tongue is hot and wet and slow in Jongin’s mouth, a sensual, sexy kiss that has Jongin’s head spinning. His belly’s still warm from orgasm and Junmeyon’s come and his thighs tighten just thinking about it; he’s going to make more of a mess of Junmyeon’s sheets as it all leaks out of him, and Jongin’s even prouder of that.
“Hey, hyung?” Jongin mumbles, fingers all tangled up in Junmyeon’s dark hair.
“Hm?”
“What were you saying earlier?” He kisses the corner of Junmyeon’s mouth, putting on his puppy eyes just in case Junmyeon feels too embarrassed to tell him. “You know, when we were having sex? I was a bit…um…distracted.”
Junmyeon laughs, blushing prettily. “It’s embarrassing.”
“Tell me!” Jongin whines, still able to feel the way Junmyeon’s lips had moved against his shoulderblade, breaths hot and damp.
“Nothing new,” Junmyeon relents, gently cupping Jongin towards him to kiss him again, “just saying I love you. I can’t really help that, you know?”
“Mm, yeah,” Jongin says, which is a shitty reply, but only because his heart’s whirling about so hard in his throat that he couldn’t possibly form any bigger words than that. “Mmhmm,” he adds, a brilliant afterthought that makes his face flame.
“Mmhmm?” Junmyeon repeats, amused.
“I- I Iove you too,” Jongin blurts out, “a lot. That’s what I meant.”
Junmyeon laughs again, quiet and fond, but he doesn’t push for more than that. He just curls himself comfortably around Jongin’s body and settles down for sleep.
Jongin wishes Junmyeon would push him more, sometimes. He doesn’t think he does a bad job of expressing his feelings for Junmyeon but he doesn’t think it’s so great, either. He never wants Junmyeon to think that he isn’t serious about this because he is, he’s so serious about it that he doesn’t even smile when he talks about it sometimes with Sehun. It’s important to him. Junmyeon is important to him.
He might have loved dance for longer, and he might have wanted other things more, but a lot has changed in his life. Soon, he’ll have known Junmyeon for longer than he hasn’t, and not so long after that, he’ll have been in love with Junmyeon for longer than he hasn’t.
A lifetime kind of love. Jongin sure hopes that Junmyeon knows that this is the kind of love they have.
---
Jongin wakes up at an ungodly hour to use the loo, squinting into the darkness with a groggy pout. He’s warm all down his back from where Junmyeon’s spooning him and if he didn’t have to use the washroom, he wouldn’t move at all, not even if Sehun was offering him a bucket of chicken.
As quiet as possible, Jongin removes himself from Junmyeon’s strong arms, his fingers lingering along the carved lines of Junmyeon’s muscles. Junmyeon is fucking sexy.
Sighing helplessly, Jongin pads out of the room, scratching absentmindedly at the dried come all over his tummy. There’s also come and lube dried down the insides and backs of his thighs and he really ought to wash up before he goes back to bed but he just doesn’t want to.
His eyes are a bit puffy. Needs more sleep. Jongin turns his face to the side, squinting at his reflection in the washroom mirror, lips tugging into a grin when he sees a faint imprint of teeth on his neck. It’s always, always gratifying to know he’s made Junmyeon lose that much control.
He keeps turning, eyebrow arching in interest when he finds a couple of hickeys on his upper back and down his spine. Damn, Junmyeon really let himself go. He’s usually so careful not to leave a single mark-Jongin’s just ecstatic.
He pads back to Junmyeon’s bedroom quickly, perking up when Junmyeon mumbles his name, voice scratchy with sleep.
“Where’d you go?” Junmyeon asks, shaking his head to clear it of sleep. He looks up at Jongin walking towards him and his heart stops in his chest, breath caught with it. Jongin is just so, damn, beautiful. The grace of his limbs, the tone of all that hard-won muscle, the softness of his features when he looks at Junmyeon like there’s no one else he wants to see.
“Sorry, did I wake you?” Jongin whispers, climbing into bed when Junmyeon lifts the covers to welcome him back. He doesn’t settle, though; he pushes Junmyeon onto his back and straddles him, curling over him for a hug.
Junmyeon sighs, reveling in Jongin’s ceaseless warmth. He lets Jongin’s weight ground him, comfort him, remind him that this really is real. He’s had dreams like this a lot before that ended up with him waking to a less than ideal reality, but that was a long time ago, back before he and Jongin got together. Junmyeon doesn’t care so much to revisit those days. They’re in the past but memories sometimes still have thorns, and until that feeling of loneliness fades, Junmyeon can only let Jongin’s solidity keep him grounded from his insecurities.
“Hyung, you know I love you, right?” Jongin whispers in his ear, arms looped tight around Junmyeon’s neck. “So you’ll never get tired of me, right?”
“Of course not,” Junmyeon answers immediately, running a comforting hand down Jongin’s back. Ah, that’s right-he isn’t the only one who gets insecure.
As brilliant as Jongin is, as popular and stunning and charming and beloved as Jongin is, he’s still shy and insecure and unsure about a lot of himself. It’s unfounded in Junmyeon’s frank opinion-Jongin is honest to god perfect to him, there isn’t anyone sweeter, there isn’t anyone kinder, but Jongin says that a lot about him, too. Maybe that’s what being in love is: bringing out the best in each other, holding close to the heart all the parts that aren’t. Where would Junmyeon be now without Jongin holding him up all these years? He doesn’t even want to think about it.
“Why would you think I’d ever tire of you?” Junmyeon asks, tugging Jongin out of hiding to press soft kisses all over his face. “Jongin-ah…even if we never ended up together, even if you got married one day and had all those kids you wanted, I’d still always want you to be a part of my life.”
Jongin frowns, unable to help himself, not quite meeting Junmyeon’s eyes. He doesn’t need to think about it yet because it’s still so far away but he does worry about the future sometimes, and the thought of not being with Junmyeon anymore makes his stomach hurt with anxiety. Chest tight, all he can do is shake his head, frown deepening when Junmyeon makes a quiet noise of concern, stroking his cheeks.
“I don’t think I’m a good person, maybe,” Jongin whispers, fingertips tapping on Junmyeon’s collarbones, “you’re kind, so you want me to be happy even if you aren’t. But you know…I don’t…” he sighs, ashamed but also stubbornly proud of himself. “I don’t want you to be happy without me,” Jongin admits, and he looks at Junmyeon now, eyes hard with conviction. “You’ll always love me, won’t you, hyung?”
And though it was posed to him as a question, though it sounds innocent enough, Junmyeon is smart enough to know that it isn’t either. There’s nothing he can do-Jongin knows him best, and Jongin’s had his hands around Junmyeon’s heart for as long as Junmyeon’s known him, so when Jongin digs his nails in and squeezes a little too tight, all Junmyeon can do is let it hurt and give in.
Maybe he’s not such a good person, either. There’s no happiness he wants Jongin to find without him, though he would never begrudge him of it either. Junmyeon’s just better at lying.
“I’ll always love you, Jongin,” he says, admits, concedes, closing his eyes when Jongin crushes their lips together. It isn’t a gentle kiss but it feels right, and Junmyeon basks in the neediness of it, giddy with the knowledge that he’s the one Kim Jongin wants most.
Even though it’s late, even though they’re both clearly tired, Junmyeon does nothing to dissuade the sway of Jongin’s hips or the demanding kisses left to his mouth. Junmyeon gives back as good as he gets, groaning when Jongin starts to grind against him.
“Just like this,” Jongin breathes, panting against Junmyeon’s lips. He muffles a cry into Junmyeon’s mouth when Junmyeon slides two fingers back into him at once, shuddering around them. “Hyung, you don’t need to,” he gasps, dragging his nose against Junmyeon’s cheek, “from earlier- your come--”
Junmyeon’s cock flicks with arousal and he growls in Jongin’s ear, fingers curling inside of him. Jongin’s still wet and stretched out from earlier-fuck, it’s good enough.
He lets Jongin do most of the fumbling work, groaning with appreciation when Jongin slides back around him, gripping his cock with a familiarity that only comes with time. Junmyeon wraps his hands around Jongin’s strong, smooth thighs, kneading them, watching with dark, lidded eyes as Jongin writhes on his cock.
There’s nothing more beautiful than Jongin, not a single thing that Junmyeon can call to his mind. He groans Jongin’s name as Jongin flexes around his cock, riding him with sure, steady rolls of his hips, his whiny mewls of pleasure so gratifying to listen to. Jongin’s hands run all over his chest and arms and abdomen, touching him like they own him, and they do-Junmyeon’s never even tried to pretend otherwise.
“You’re so beautiful, Jongin,” he breathes, the air knocked out of his lungs when Jongin comes down particularly hard. He isn’t going to last; he’s too strung out with how deeply he’s fallen in love.
“Hyung, fill me up,” Jongin gasps, face dark with expectation, with want. He slides himself slower, tighter along Junmyeon’s cock, squeezing it, whimpering Junmyeon’s name every chance he gets. His hole’s stretched so perfectly around him and it feels fucking amazing. Jongin wiggles himself on it for good measure, groaning with satisfaction to feel it so deep inside of him. “You love me, right, hyung?” Jongin breathes, curling over Junmyeon again to kiss him, teeth tugging at his lip.
“I love you, Jongin,” Junmyeon moans, arching up to kiss him more. He molds his lips against Jongin’s, drowning in his taste, his scent, his heat. Planting his feet, Junmyeon cushions Jongin’s body the best he can and thrusts, swallowing the noises Jongin makes directly into his mouth.
As much as Junmyeon loves groping Jongin’s thighs, he removes one hand to wrap around Jongin’s cock instead, thumbing at the wet, sticky precome leaking from the tip. Jongin whimpers in alarm against his lips and digs his nails into Junmyeon’s shoulders but Junmyeon doesn’t let go; he tightens his grip and strokes, a lazy, off-rhythm flick to his thrusts. But that’s all it takes. Jongin lets out a garbled warning of his name, something broken and not all there, and then he’s shuddering and collapsed against Junmyeon’s chest, hips jerking unsteadily to ride out his orgasm.
Jongin wasn’t really expecting that. He had wanted to last a little longer, maybe make Junmyeon come first, but he’s always so overwhelmed when he’s got Junmyeon’s cock inside of him, even more so when Junmyeon unfairly touches him like that without warning. Brain muddled with pleasure and exhaustion, Jongin lazily rolls his hips and moans into Junmyeon’s ear, pushing him with all the filthy things he can make himself say.
He’s hot all over, burning with a fever that won’t fade. Cliches were built for love and Jongin lives all of them for Junmyeon-all the love songs, all the lyrics, every word of devotion and painful obsession, he is so sure that they were written just for him.
Junmyeon’s hips are unsteady as he thrusts into Jongin a handful more times and then he’s coming with a shout, abdomen taut with the force of his orgasm. He fills Jongin up as much as he can, jerking into him, moaning Jongin’s name when Jongin moans his first, head spinning with pleasure. There are fireworks gong off inside of him that never seem to fade, a happy sizzle that turns all his bones to jelly.
He’s absolutely shattered. He’s so tired he wants to drop dead but he never wants to sleep again, not when he has Jongin in his arms, so easy to love that it’s become a daily imperative.
“Oh, Jongin,” Junmyeon whispers, shaking just a little. He turns his face to press his forehead to Jongin’s temple, kissing him messy and a little heartbroken. “We’ll always be together, won’t we?”
Jongin makes a sleepy, happy noise, shifting slowly so he can fall over and off of Junmyeon’s body. “We will, Junmyeon-hyung.” He squirrels himself into Junmyeon’s arms again, breathing deep when Junmyeon wraps him in tight to kiss him, drowning him in his heat.
The slow drag of Junmyeon’s lips makes Jongin shudder, arching a bit closer even though there’s nowhere closer to go. He rubs their noses together, smiling into their next kiss. Junmyeon’s come is already starting to run down his thighs but that’ll take a while yet. Jongin’s happy enough just to have all of him in all the ways he can for now, reveling in the heat of him on the outside and in.
“You’re sticky,” he whispers, hooking his leg around Junmyeon’s so his hyung can’t go anywhere.
“Whose fault is that?” Junmyeon whispers back to him, fingers in his hair again. Purring, Jongin gives up any pretense of talking, shivering from the tingles dancing down his spine. Junmyeon’s fingers are so steady, so kind, nails scratching gently at his scalp before tugging on his hair, the fondest petting Jongin could hope for. Fuck, Junmyeon really does spoil him rotten-he knows everything that Jongin likes and he always actually gives it to him.
“I love you, Junmyeon-hyung,” he mumbles, chest all tight again. What if Junmyeon doesn’t understand or take him seriously enough? What if Jongin doesn’t express it enough?
“I know, Jongin,” Junmyeon soothes.
“More than anyone, hyung. I really love you.”
Junmyeon smiles, sighing inwardly. Well, there are worse things for Jongin to worry about. If making sure Junmyeon knows he loves him is what Jongin really wants to fixate on, Junmyeon has absolutely zero complaints. “I really know, Jongin-ah. And I love you too, silly kid. More than anything.”
Silence at first, but then Jongin sighs, seemingly pleased with that. Even if he can’t say it enough for the next year, or even the next ten, at least he has the rest of his life to make sure Junmyeon hears it every day.
“Silly kid,” Junmyeon whispers, holding Jongin to sleep, “don’t you know I’m the one worried that you’ll never understand how much I love you? Quit sweeping me off my feet.”
---
The morning is a battle of getting out of bed and staying conscious. While there isn’t anything to do until the afternoon, Junmyeon is aware that there are showers to be had, though Jongin doesn’t make it easy.
Every time he sits up in bed, Jongin tugs him back down and they kiss like time isn’t a concept that applies to them. For this morning, Junmyeon decides that it really doesn’t. He loves Jongin for every hour of every day but he so rarely gets to show it in blocks of time like this; there’s always another schedule to go to, another dinner or event to attend.
“Do you want to do anything today, hyung?” Jongin whispers, face soft with happiness. Junmyeon can imagine that his own face looks much the same. The thought makes him squeeze Jongin a bit tighter.
“Just want to spend the day with you. You know, like always.”
“Good,” Jongin says, eyes curving up with his brilliant, unguarded smile, “we only have seven days in a week to spend together, hyung! That’s really too little time, so I want to spend them with you.”
Junmyeon laughs, pleased and very happy. As cheeky as Jongin is, he’s also being serious-he can see it in Jongin’s eyes.
“Jongin-ah, I think we should kiss some more, just to start this day off right. What do you think?”
Yeah, Jongin thinks the same.
---
---
as always, thanks for reading :) ♥
suho/kai
nc-17
when every day should be filled with being in love.
---
Shoes, socks. Shirt, pants. A pause, then underwear.
Jongin is grinning as he crawls under Junmyeon’s covers, hoping the stars in his eyes aren’t glittering too bright as Junmyeon collects him in the warmest embrace.
---
Some of them think that Jongin developed a fondness for reviewing their schedule every day due to some rub-off responsibility from being around Junmyeon so much. Not so true, Jongin isn’t all that meticulous about scheduling for the sake of it, but he does have his own motives. Being busy is never a bad thing but it does impede on how often he gets to be intimate with Junmyeon, and Junmyeon, being Junmyeon, is someone that Jongin always wants to have his hands on.
Maybe some of it is hormones. Youth, impatience, attractiveness; he’s got a lot going for him. But then, so does Junmyeon, and Jongin hasn’t been in love before him, but he did go through the motions to get in some practice with a few people along the way.
Junmyeon had been very thoughtful that one time he spoke of his first relationship that mattered. It was something you can call love, he had said, and Jongin had wondered about that one, but there had also been a mischievous glint in his eyes because it was just the two of them wrapped around each other in bed then. What does that mean? Jongin had asked, maybe a little jealous, to which all Junmyeon said in reply was to kiss him so long that Jongin’s brain turned to soda foam and fizzled away to nothing.
Well, ten years down the line, if anyone were to ask Jongin about his relationship with Junmyeon, he would answer differently. It’s love, he would say, the kind you have for lifetimes, which is why you don’t even think about it on most days.
It’s the simplicity that’s really special. There are circumstances to their relationship that are obvious complicated, and so many factors around them that disapprove every facet of them being together, but the feeling itself? That’s pure, that’s easy.
Somewhere between the first time Junmyeon held him as he cried on the practice room floor and the last bucket of chicken Junmyeon had bought him before their official debut, Jongin fell in love. Obviously it wasn’t something he realized very quickly, he’s a bit slow on the uptake and that’s a self-admittance, but it was a feeling he fell into more comfortably than he had expected.
Love is supposed to come with all this torture and angst, right? So he moped for a bit about how Junmyeon would probably never look at him or think of him in the same way, but then Sehun smacked him upside the head one day and told him to open his goddamn eyes. So he did, and he cuddled up to Junmyeon a little closer at every opportunity he had, and he found that the megawatt brilliance of Junmyeon’s smile was always brighter in his direction, and then--ooooh, okay. Apparently Junmyeon had been head over heels infatuated with him for years and years and Jongin had been too preoccupied basking in Junmyeon’s brilliance to notice it properly.
Talk about appreciating each other too much.
---
Junmyeon runs two fingers down the length of Jongin’s back, parallel to the pretty arch of his spine. The purr that Jongin gives him is too cheeky for Junmyeon’s liking but he doesn’t do anything about it; this is, after all, mostly about Jongin, though Jongin would protest himself hoarse if Junmyeon ever admitted that intention to him out loud.
Jongin arches his belly towards the bed more, throwing a dark look over his shoulder. “Hyung,” he moans, dragging the word out, spreading his thighs a bit wider.
He’s slick and eager from prep but Junmyeon seems intent on taking it slow. It drives Jongin up the wall but he understands that Junmyeon is careful with him out of love, out of fear of hurting him, and that’s not something he can complain about. His cock does, though, and he can tell without having to check that he’s making a wet mess on Junmyeon’s sheets.
“Hyung, fuck me,” he whines, just this side of breathless. Jongin bites his lip, fascinated with the way Junmyeon’s face darkens, the black want of his eyes. It’s not a look many people are privy to and Jongin hogs it with greed.
The heat of Junmyeon’s body drapes over him like a familiar blanket. Jongin moans again, his knees sliding farther apart and spine curving more to accommodate, wanting Junmyeon as close as he can get him. He’s never been a fan of being caged in, he’s got too much energy to stay contained in one place for long, but if it’s Junmyeon, god, he’s happy to never move again.
His throat tightens in anticipation as the hard line of Junmyeon’s cock grinds against the crease of his ass. Junmyeon’s so hard, he’s that way for Jongin. Of course it’s a point of pride-there was a time when Jongin hadn’t thought Junmyeon would ever want him this way, and there had been a lot of embarrassment and shame attached to that.
“Ah- hyung!” Jongin cries out, trying to muffle his moans at first and quickly giving up altogether. Junmyeon pushes in with ease, there’s no part of Jongin that resists, but the fill is still as incredible as it was the first time. Jongin claws in air to his lungs through every gasp he can manage, fingers fisted in Junmyeon’s sheets. “Hyung, so good,” he breathes, blush high and fierce on his cheeks, thighs quivering from being so tense.
Junmyeon runs his fingers through Jongin’s sweaty hair, arching forward to press a fond kiss to Jongin’s temple. “You’re incredible,” he whispers, because he doesn’t have enough breath to say it any louder. Jongin flexes tight around his cock and Junmyeon groans in appreciation, slowly sliding all the way in.
Though he tries not to, Jongin hears himself whining again, his front half collapsed to bed. His ass is pressed airtight to the hollow of Junmyeon’s hips and he feels so much like they were made for each other, two imperfect pieces that fit together so perfectly. Jongin bites his lip, chews on it, his face flaming again as Junmyeon moans in his ear. He wants to make Junmyeon feel good, he’s never wanted anything else in all the time they’ve done this. Junmyeon always watches out for his pleasure first, that’s just the kind of lover Junmyeon is, but Jongin isn’t so different, either-he loves Junmyeon more than he could ever express and he wants to please him in every way he can.
“Hyung, please,” he begs, voice quiet and shaking. Junmyeon runs his fingers through his hair again, gently tugging at the strands, but Jongin doesn’t want him to be so gentle. He arches his spine and rolls his hips as much as he can in the little space that Junmyeon’s given him, moaning in appreciation when Junmyeon’s hard cock pushes against the bundle of pleasure inside of him.
There’s nothing that Junmyeon doesn’t know about his body. Jongin’s grip on the sheets tighten as Junmyeon pulls out of him, a cry torn from his throat when Junmyeon thrusts back in.
It hasn’t been so long since the last time but Jongin is already so restless for it, desperate for more. “Junmyeon-hyung, Junmyeon-hyung,” he chants, cheek pressed into the sheets, one of Junmyeon’s hands still in his hair. He half-tries to push up but Junmyeon’s grip tightens and forces him still again, so Jongin just arches his ass back to meet Junmyeon’s thrusts the best he can, pretending he can’t hear himself whining and begging Junmyeon to fuck him harder.
Junmyeon hums Jongin’s name, mouthing wet, half-formed kisses over the ripple of muscles in Jongin’s back. The smooth, warm taste of his skin tempts Junmyeon to suck harder, and though he worries about hickeys, he wants Jongin so much more than being responsible.
His grip in Jongin’s hair tightens more and Jongin cries out, breaths noisy and unsteady in the quiet of their bedroom. Junmyeon snaps his hips, fucking the breath right out of Jongin’s lungs, a shocked, airy sound that makes Junmyeon’s cock throb.
“Feel good?” he mumbles into Jongin’s skin, scraping his teeth over a knob of Jongin’s spine.
“Good, so good,” Jongin gasps immediately, clenching tight around his cock. God, he’s so tight, so warm.
Junmyeon shudders, pumping his cock in again, moan low and all gravel at the slick slide in and the way Jongin’s walls cling to him every drag out.
“You feel so good,” he whispers, stuttering it out, rocking into Jongin’s body deep and steady. Though Junmyeon isn’t going all that fast, he is thrusting as long and deep as he can, wanting to reach Jongin at his core. Though he tries not to act it, Junmyeon is a jealous person. He likes to keep all of what he believes to be his, and Jongin has been his since the moment Jongin had first taken his hand, shy and a shade of scared, and said, I’m glad we’re here together, Junmyeon-hyung.
Jongin is so messed up on the inside. His chest is on fire, a need so deep at his core that the backs of his eyes sting just thinking about it, but at least he has the distraction of Junmyeon driving him crazy.
“Hyung, hyung,” he moans, mindlessly loud, clenching desperately around the hard length of Junmyeon’s cock, “I’m gonna come, I’m close--”
Junmyeon’s hand moves from Jongin’s hip to his high inner thigh, just a grope, but it’s a shift that has Jongin yelling with pleasure. It’s just a little hike up but the pressure changes enough to make his eyes roll back in his head, mouth open in soundless moans. He arches down so far his nipples are rubbing rough against the sheets every time Junmyeon fucks into him but that’s not something Jongin has complaints about.
Junmyeon’s fingers dance along the inside of his thigh, digging in every now and then because Junmyeon knows what Jongin likes. Jongin’s drooling onto the sheets, he can feel the wet spot against his cheek, but Jongin has no mind left to feel embarrassed by it.
He’s wound so tight, coiled up tight enough to snap. “Hyung, I- ahn, I’m--!!” Junmyeon squeezes his thigh again, and Junmyeon is whispering something into his back, Jongin wants so desperately to hear what he’s saying, but Junmyeon twists the fingers in Jongin’s hair and wrenches him back before he can make it out. Totally caged under Junmyeon’s warmth, Jongin whimpers, knees sliding, cock aching and throbbing with the need to release.
Junmyeon’s teeth sink into his neck, and he pushes his cock in so hard, so far that Jongin yells. He starts to say Junmyeon’s name but then he’s coming, screaming with it, body jerking in Junmyeon’s grasp so hard that the rest of his moans come out sobs. Jongin’s shaking apart, cock more painful than ever from having come without being touched, his spine melting so Junmyeon can do with his body as he likes.
He stuffs his hand in his mouth and bites hard on his knuckles, trying to survive the fire burning through his body. Fuck, it’s so good, he wants to die.
“Junmyeon-hyung, fuck me, yes,” Jongin slurs, putty in Junmyeon’s arms, loving the way Junmyeon’s losing control in him. He clenches weakly, moaning lustily as Junmyeon’s hips stutter in a tell that only Jongin knows.
He turns his face and suffocates himself in the sheets, goosebumps rippling down his back in anticipation. “Jongin, Jongin!” Junmyeon is moaning, and Jongin muffles another cry for his hyung, cock twitching even though he’s so spent he feels he could sleep for a decade.
“Come in me, Junmyeon-hyung,” Jongin whines, face beet red, half from arousal and half in embarrassment. He chews his lip again, making the most pathetic noises as Junmyeon fucks into him mindlessly, shuddering his relief when Junmyeon finally, silently stills above him. Junmyeon doesn’t like to make so much noise when they have sex but he’ll still moan for Jongin to enjoy. Jongin does so enjoy the noises Junmyeon makes-especially in moments like these, when Junmyeon can only moan his name over and over again, coming inside of him deep and thick, rocking into him and holding him like he never wants to let go.
It’s only when Jongin comes out from hiding and claws a noisy gasp into his lungs that he realizes he stopped breathing for a while. Lightheaded and still shuddering, he gently tips his ass up, pressing into the hollow of Junmyeon’s hips some more. He loves being cradled there, like there couldn’t be anyone else that Junmyeon could find more perfect than him. Jongin wants to think that that’s true.
Junmyeon’s fingers are stroking through his hair again, gently combing out the damp, tangled strands. “You really are so incredible,” Junmyeon whispers, and Jongin tries not to swell up too much with pride.
Though they usually try for some sort of cleaning up after sex on most nights, Jongin really doesn’t want to move. He’s disgruntled enough when Junmyeon pulls that perfect cock out of his ass, and though it’s unreasonable to think that he could have Junmyeon anywhere and anytime he so wished, it doesn’t make the unreasonable side of Jongin stop wanting it. He wiggles his ass in the air just because he can, groaning when Junmyeon smacks him on one cheek before groping him nice and eager.
“Don’t tempt me, Kim Jongin,” Junmyeon says. Though his voice is light, there’s nothing jokey about it; Jongin tips himself over onto his side before he pushes his luck. While he would definitely let Junmyeon use him for a happy round two, his body is about as responsive as a wet paper towel at the moment.
“Watch out, I came all over there,” Jongin mumbles tiredly, tugging on Junmyeon’s wrist. He wiggles to the side, pulling Junmyeon around him where there isn’t a wet spot all over the sheets. Some sort of shyness is probably apt at this moment but Jongin’s kind of proud he’s managed to mess Junmyeon’s sheets up that much. “You felt so good, Junmyeon-hyung.”
Junmyeon smiles at him, bright but as exhausted as Jongin’s feeling. They’ve been doing concerts-it’s a wonder they managed to have sex at all tonight.
“You did too, Jongin-ah,” he whispers, pressing a warm kiss to Jongin’s mouth. Jongin thinks it won’t last long but Junmyeon surprises him when he tries to break it; Junmyeon’s arm snakes tighter around his waist, his other hand at the back of Jongin’s neck, and Jongin melts into the kiss like with everything else Junmyeon does to him. He breathes unsteadily into Junmyeon’s mouth, eagerly nipping on Junmyeon’s rosy bottom lip when Junmyeon smiles and quietly says his name.
Junmyeon’s tongue is hot and wet and slow in Jongin’s mouth, a sensual, sexy kiss that has Jongin’s head spinning. His belly’s still warm from orgasm and Junmeyon’s come and his thighs tighten just thinking about it; he’s going to make more of a mess of Junmyeon’s sheets as it all leaks out of him, and Jongin’s even prouder of that.
“Hey, hyung?” Jongin mumbles, fingers all tangled up in Junmyeon’s dark hair.
“Hm?”
“What were you saying earlier?” He kisses the corner of Junmyeon’s mouth, putting on his puppy eyes just in case Junmyeon feels too embarrassed to tell him. “You know, when we were having sex? I was a bit…um…distracted.”
Junmyeon laughs, blushing prettily. “It’s embarrassing.”
“Tell me!” Jongin whines, still able to feel the way Junmyeon’s lips had moved against his shoulderblade, breaths hot and damp.
“Nothing new,” Junmyeon relents, gently cupping Jongin towards him to kiss him again, “just saying I love you. I can’t really help that, you know?”
“Mm, yeah,” Jongin says, which is a shitty reply, but only because his heart’s whirling about so hard in his throat that he couldn’t possibly form any bigger words than that. “Mmhmm,” he adds, a brilliant afterthought that makes his face flame.
“Mmhmm?” Junmyeon repeats, amused.
“I- I Iove you too,” Jongin blurts out, “a lot. That’s what I meant.”
Junmyeon laughs again, quiet and fond, but he doesn’t push for more than that. He just curls himself comfortably around Jongin’s body and settles down for sleep.
Jongin wishes Junmyeon would push him more, sometimes. He doesn’t think he does a bad job of expressing his feelings for Junmyeon but he doesn’t think it’s so great, either. He never wants Junmyeon to think that he isn’t serious about this because he is, he’s so serious about it that he doesn’t even smile when he talks about it sometimes with Sehun. It’s important to him. Junmyeon is important to him.
He might have loved dance for longer, and he might have wanted other things more, but a lot has changed in his life. Soon, he’ll have known Junmyeon for longer than he hasn’t, and not so long after that, he’ll have been in love with Junmyeon for longer than he hasn’t.
A lifetime kind of love. Jongin sure hopes that Junmyeon knows that this is the kind of love they have.
---
Jongin wakes up at an ungodly hour to use the loo, squinting into the darkness with a groggy pout. He’s warm all down his back from where Junmyeon’s spooning him and if he didn’t have to use the washroom, he wouldn’t move at all, not even if Sehun was offering him a bucket of chicken.
As quiet as possible, Jongin removes himself from Junmyeon’s strong arms, his fingers lingering along the carved lines of Junmyeon’s muscles. Junmyeon is fucking sexy.
Sighing helplessly, Jongin pads out of the room, scratching absentmindedly at the dried come all over his tummy. There’s also come and lube dried down the insides and backs of his thighs and he really ought to wash up before he goes back to bed but he just doesn’t want to.
His eyes are a bit puffy. Needs more sleep. Jongin turns his face to the side, squinting at his reflection in the washroom mirror, lips tugging into a grin when he sees a faint imprint of teeth on his neck. It’s always, always gratifying to know he’s made Junmyeon lose that much control.
He keeps turning, eyebrow arching in interest when he finds a couple of hickeys on his upper back and down his spine. Damn, Junmyeon really let himself go. He’s usually so careful not to leave a single mark-Jongin’s just ecstatic.
He pads back to Junmyeon’s bedroom quickly, perking up when Junmyeon mumbles his name, voice scratchy with sleep.
“Where’d you go?” Junmyeon asks, shaking his head to clear it of sleep. He looks up at Jongin walking towards him and his heart stops in his chest, breath caught with it. Jongin is just so, damn, beautiful. The grace of his limbs, the tone of all that hard-won muscle, the softness of his features when he looks at Junmyeon like there’s no one else he wants to see.
“Sorry, did I wake you?” Jongin whispers, climbing into bed when Junmyeon lifts the covers to welcome him back. He doesn’t settle, though; he pushes Junmyeon onto his back and straddles him, curling over him for a hug.
Junmyeon sighs, reveling in Jongin’s ceaseless warmth. He lets Jongin’s weight ground him, comfort him, remind him that this really is real. He’s had dreams like this a lot before that ended up with him waking to a less than ideal reality, but that was a long time ago, back before he and Jongin got together. Junmyeon doesn’t care so much to revisit those days. They’re in the past but memories sometimes still have thorns, and until that feeling of loneliness fades, Junmyeon can only let Jongin’s solidity keep him grounded from his insecurities.
“Hyung, you know I love you, right?” Jongin whispers in his ear, arms looped tight around Junmyeon’s neck. “So you’ll never get tired of me, right?”
“Of course not,” Junmyeon answers immediately, running a comforting hand down Jongin’s back. Ah, that’s right-he isn’t the only one who gets insecure.
As brilliant as Jongin is, as popular and stunning and charming and beloved as Jongin is, he’s still shy and insecure and unsure about a lot of himself. It’s unfounded in Junmyeon’s frank opinion-Jongin is honest to god perfect to him, there isn’t anyone sweeter, there isn’t anyone kinder, but Jongin says that a lot about him, too. Maybe that’s what being in love is: bringing out the best in each other, holding close to the heart all the parts that aren’t. Where would Junmyeon be now without Jongin holding him up all these years? He doesn’t even want to think about it.
“Why would you think I’d ever tire of you?” Junmyeon asks, tugging Jongin out of hiding to press soft kisses all over his face. “Jongin-ah…even if we never ended up together, even if you got married one day and had all those kids you wanted, I’d still always want you to be a part of my life.”
Jongin frowns, unable to help himself, not quite meeting Junmyeon’s eyes. He doesn’t need to think about it yet because it’s still so far away but he does worry about the future sometimes, and the thought of not being with Junmyeon anymore makes his stomach hurt with anxiety. Chest tight, all he can do is shake his head, frown deepening when Junmyeon makes a quiet noise of concern, stroking his cheeks.
“I don’t think I’m a good person, maybe,” Jongin whispers, fingertips tapping on Junmyeon’s collarbones, “you’re kind, so you want me to be happy even if you aren’t. But you know…I don’t…” he sighs, ashamed but also stubbornly proud of himself. “I don’t want you to be happy without me,” Jongin admits, and he looks at Junmyeon now, eyes hard with conviction. “You’ll always love me, won’t you, hyung?”
And though it was posed to him as a question, though it sounds innocent enough, Junmyeon is smart enough to know that it isn’t either. There’s nothing he can do-Jongin knows him best, and Jongin’s had his hands around Junmyeon’s heart for as long as Junmyeon’s known him, so when Jongin digs his nails in and squeezes a little too tight, all Junmyeon can do is let it hurt and give in.
Maybe he’s not such a good person, either. There’s no happiness he wants Jongin to find without him, though he would never begrudge him of it either. Junmyeon’s just better at lying.
“I’ll always love you, Jongin,” he says, admits, concedes, closing his eyes when Jongin crushes their lips together. It isn’t a gentle kiss but it feels right, and Junmyeon basks in the neediness of it, giddy with the knowledge that he’s the one Kim Jongin wants most.
Even though it’s late, even though they’re both clearly tired, Junmyeon does nothing to dissuade the sway of Jongin’s hips or the demanding kisses left to his mouth. Junmyeon gives back as good as he gets, groaning when Jongin starts to grind against him.
“Just like this,” Jongin breathes, panting against Junmyeon’s lips. He muffles a cry into Junmyeon’s mouth when Junmyeon slides two fingers back into him at once, shuddering around them. “Hyung, you don’t need to,” he gasps, dragging his nose against Junmyeon’s cheek, “from earlier- your come--”
Junmyeon’s cock flicks with arousal and he growls in Jongin’s ear, fingers curling inside of him. Jongin’s still wet and stretched out from earlier-fuck, it’s good enough.
He lets Jongin do most of the fumbling work, groaning with appreciation when Jongin slides back around him, gripping his cock with a familiarity that only comes with time. Junmyeon wraps his hands around Jongin’s strong, smooth thighs, kneading them, watching with dark, lidded eyes as Jongin writhes on his cock.
There’s nothing more beautiful than Jongin, not a single thing that Junmyeon can call to his mind. He groans Jongin’s name as Jongin flexes around his cock, riding him with sure, steady rolls of his hips, his whiny mewls of pleasure so gratifying to listen to. Jongin’s hands run all over his chest and arms and abdomen, touching him like they own him, and they do-Junmyeon’s never even tried to pretend otherwise.
“You’re so beautiful, Jongin,” he breathes, the air knocked out of his lungs when Jongin comes down particularly hard. He isn’t going to last; he’s too strung out with how deeply he’s fallen in love.
“Hyung, fill me up,” Jongin gasps, face dark with expectation, with want. He slides himself slower, tighter along Junmyeon’s cock, squeezing it, whimpering Junmyeon’s name every chance he gets. His hole’s stretched so perfectly around him and it feels fucking amazing. Jongin wiggles himself on it for good measure, groaning with satisfaction to feel it so deep inside of him. “You love me, right, hyung?” Jongin breathes, curling over Junmyeon again to kiss him, teeth tugging at his lip.
“I love you, Jongin,” Junmyeon moans, arching up to kiss him more. He molds his lips against Jongin’s, drowning in his taste, his scent, his heat. Planting his feet, Junmyeon cushions Jongin’s body the best he can and thrusts, swallowing the noises Jongin makes directly into his mouth.
As much as Junmyeon loves groping Jongin’s thighs, he removes one hand to wrap around Jongin’s cock instead, thumbing at the wet, sticky precome leaking from the tip. Jongin whimpers in alarm against his lips and digs his nails into Junmyeon’s shoulders but Junmyeon doesn’t let go; he tightens his grip and strokes, a lazy, off-rhythm flick to his thrusts. But that’s all it takes. Jongin lets out a garbled warning of his name, something broken and not all there, and then he’s shuddering and collapsed against Junmyeon’s chest, hips jerking unsteadily to ride out his orgasm.
Jongin wasn’t really expecting that. He had wanted to last a little longer, maybe make Junmyeon come first, but he’s always so overwhelmed when he’s got Junmyeon’s cock inside of him, even more so when Junmyeon unfairly touches him like that without warning. Brain muddled with pleasure and exhaustion, Jongin lazily rolls his hips and moans into Junmyeon’s ear, pushing him with all the filthy things he can make himself say.
He’s hot all over, burning with a fever that won’t fade. Cliches were built for love and Jongin lives all of them for Junmyeon-all the love songs, all the lyrics, every word of devotion and painful obsession, he is so sure that they were written just for him.
Junmyeon’s hips are unsteady as he thrusts into Jongin a handful more times and then he’s coming with a shout, abdomen taut with the force of his orgasm. He fills Jongin up as much as he can, jerking into him, moaning Jongin’s name when Jongin moans his first, head spinning with pleasure. There are fireworks gong off inside of him that never seem to fade, a happy sizzle that turns all his bones to jelly.
He’s absolutely shattered. He’s so tired he wants to drop dead but he never wants to sleep again, not when he has Jongin in his arms, so easy to love that it’s become a daily imperative.
“Oh, Jongin,” Junmyeon whispers, shaking just a little. He turns his face to press his forehead to Jongin’s temple, kissing him messy and a little heartbroken. “We’ll always be together, won’t we?”
Jongin makes a sleepy, happy noise, shifting slowly so he can fall over and off of Junmyeon’s body. “We will, Junmyeon-hyung.” He squirrels himself into Junmyeon’s arms again, breathing deep when Junmyeon wraps him in tight to kiss him, drowning him in his heat.
The slow drag of Junmyeon’s lips makes Jongin shudder, arching a bit closer even though there’s nowhere closer to go. He rubs their noses together, smiling into their next kiss. Junmyeon’s come is already starting to run down his thighs but that’ll take a while yet. Jongin’s happy enough just to have all of him in all the ways he can for now, reveling in the heat of him on the outside and in.
“You’re sticky,” he whispers, hooking his leg around Junmyeon’s so his hyung can’t go anywhere.
“Whose fault is that?” Junmyeon whispers back to him, fingers in his hair again. Purring, Jongin gives up any pretense of talking, shivering from the tingles dancing down his spine. Junmyeon’s fingers are so steady, so kind, nails scratching gently at his scalp before tugging on his hair, the fondest petting Jongin could hope for. Fuck, Junmyeon really does spoil him rotten-he knows everything that Jongin likes and he always actually gives it to him.
“I love you, Junmyeon-hyung,” he mumbles, chest all tight again. What if Junmyeon doesn’t understand or take him seriously enough? What if Jongin doesn’t express it enough?
“I know, Jongin,” Junmyeon soothes.
“More than anyone, hyung. I really love you.”
Junmyeon smiles, sighing inwardly. Well, there are worse things for Jongin to worry about. If making sure Junmyeon knows he loves him is what Jongin really wants to fixate on, Junmyeon has absolutely zero complaints. “I really know, Jongin-ah. And I love you too, silly kid. More than anything.”
Silence at first, but then Jongin sighs, seemingly pleased with that. Even if he can’t say it enough for the next year, or even the next ten, at least he has the rest of his life to make sure Junmyeon hears it every day.
“Silly kid,” Junmyeon whispers, holding Jongin to sleep, “don’t you know I’m the one worried that you’ll never understand how much I love you? Quit sweeping me off my feet.”
---
The morning is a battle of getting out of bed and staying conscious. While there isn’t anything to do until the afternoon, Junmyeon is aware that there are showers to be had, though Jongin doesn’t make it easy.
Every time he sits up in bed, Jongin tugs him back down and they kiss like time isn’t a concept that applies to them. For this morning, Junmyeon decides that it really doesn’t. He loves Jongin for every hour of every day but he so rarely gets to show it in blocks of time like this; there’s always another schedule to go to, another dinner or event to attend.
“Do you want to do anything today, hyung?” Jongin whispers, face soft with happiness. Junmyeon can imagine that his own face looks much the same. The thought makes him squeeze Jongin a bit tighter.
“Just want to spend the day with you. You know, like always.”
“Good,” Jongin says, eyes curving up with his brilliant, unguarded smile, “we only have seven days in a week to spend together, hyung! That’s really too little time, so I want to spend them with you.”
Junmyeon laughs, pleased and very happy. As cheeky as Jongin is, he’s also being serious-he can see it in Jongin’s eyes.
“Jongin-ah, I think we should kiss some more, just to start this day off right. What do you think?”
Yeah, Jongin thinks the same.
---
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as always, thanks for reading :) ♥