Bet Me; Chapter 8; An Introduction to Soul Gazing
Massive thanks to my beta readers Bex, and Lauren3210. Thank you to everyone who is reading this. Thanks for every one who takes the time to comment here and on FF. I have to say I'm super crazy pumped for the next episode of TVD.
Chapter 8 - An Introduction to Soul Gazing
Damon stared at the light underneath the bathroom door. His skin felt too tight, his body too hot. After half a day of build-up, and then having Elena respond to him the way she had, he was aroused to the point that it was almost painful. His erection wasn't going to go down by itself. If he'd wanted her before, he wanted her even more now, and if she hadn't run out of that bed, he'd probably be buried deep inside her. He almost groaned aloud at the thought.
Elena was probably freaking out right now about the show they'd just put on for the cameras. If he wasn't sporting a raging hard on, and she'd been honest about wanting him, he might have felt more sympathetic. She should have stopped him; especially since she'd so adamantly denied that the attraction was mutual. Instead she'd lied about it, and then lost control of the situation. They'd both lost control. He had no idea what Von Gruber would make of the evening's events now. If they'd been truthful with one another, they could have managed this entire situation better. With that thought, he exited the bed, and walked into the bathroom.
Elena spun around when she heard the bathroom door open. She'd forgotten there was no lock on it.
"What are you doing, Elena?" Damon asked her.
His eyes were still dark from lust. She looked down, but looked back up again when she noticed his boxers tented at the front. Her body warmed immediately at the sight. She should never have let him touch her like that. Avoiding his touch and his kisses wasn't an option while she was here, but neither was succumbing to the attraction between them and going further than she needed to. He might know exactly how much he affected her now, but she had to make sure he knew she didn't intend for it to happen again. She would not let her body and heart become tangled up in her old high school rival.
"It should never have gone that far," she said to him.
"So why didn't you stop me?" He asked her.
"It was just supposed to be a kiss."
"Are you really trying to blame me?"
"I'm not blaming anyone. I got carried away. We both did."
He stalked towards her. "You've been trying so hard to suppress and deny what's been going on between us since we got here. If we'd handled this thing like adults, we could have talked it through and dealt with it. Instead you wanted to pretend you didn't feel anything."
She swallowed.
"Then you let that happen," he continued. "What type of game are you playing, Elena?"
"I'm not playing a game."
"Bullshit. Today you called me delusional for thinking you want me, and then the moment I touch you, you tell me not to stop."
Elena's cheeks were burning from embarrassment.
"I didn't force you to keep going," she said to him.
"No, but you sure as hell enjoyed it enough when I did."
"I'm going back to bed," she told him.
She went to walk past him, but he grabbed her arm and stopped her.
"Not until we sort this out."
"There's nothing to say."
"Oh, I think there's a lot to say, Elena - starting with you admitting the truth."
"Fine. I'm…attracted to you."
She tried to shrug off his hand, but he wouldn't move it.
"Now why couldn't you just say that before?"
"I didn't see the point in discussing it."
"Do you see the point now?" he growled.
"As I said, I got carried away. It won't happen again."
"Because of the cameras, because of this story, or because of Stefan?"
"Not for any reason. None of this is real, Damon. Nothing about this situation is real."
"I know that," he said to her.
She nodded. "I don't think we should let some kind of inconvenient attraction complicate the reason we're here."
"The story," he said to her.
"Yes. It's what we both came here for."
Damon stared at her. A few hours ago the "inconvenient attraction" between them had just about sent her running, but now she was ready to put it behind her and think about the story. Now she was trying to remind him why they were here. He hadn't exactly forgotten why he was here. When he was working, the story he was chasing always had his undivided attention, but what was going on between them was distracting as hell, and for the first time ever, his concentration wasn't what it should be.
For that reason he should be relieved she didn't want complications. They might be working together now, but they were still going to try and one up the other when it came to writing the story. Right now, however, he was struggling to see her focus as a good thing - probably because he was thinking through a sexually induced haze which she was responsible for. He needed to clear the fog from his head immediately, and find a way to get over what she was doing to him, or he was in serious danger of screwing this whole thing up, and giving her an advantage while they were here.
Damon released his grip on her arm and moved away from her. He watched Elena walk towards the door before turning around to face him. "Are you coming back to bed?" she asked him.
"Not yet," he said tightly.
Damon had a date with a cold shower. His erection may have softened, but he was still aroused. There was no way he was getting back into bed with her in the state he was in.
"Won't Von Gruber find it strange if I go back to bed on my own?"
"I think he'll find it more curious that you left me after you were satisfied, without any thought to my current state of…frustration. No, I think he'll understand perfectly, Elena."
Elena felt the blood drain out of her face. Von Gruber believed she had trouble touching her 'husband', and being close to him. If he watched what had happened tonight in that bed, he would be more convinced he was right. And if she went back to bed without Damon, what would he make of that? The truth was she had been so preoccupied with everything Damon made her feel, that she hadn't given any thought to the fact that she'd left him…frustrated, as he had put it.
She didn't know whether it was Damon insinuating she'd been selfish in bed, or fear of what Von Gruber might think of her that had her contemplating offering to lend him a hand. Her body reacted to the thought immediately; the slow, steady throb of desire making itself felt between her legs once again. As if he could read her perfectly, she watched heat suddenly blaze in his eyes, and she knew without a doubt he was seeing her own eyes fill with the same heat.
He took off his shirt, and her mouth went dry as she took in the smooth muscles of his chest and abs; how strong his arms were. He swaggered towards her, and as he stood in front of her, she had to curl her fingers into her palms to stop herself from reaching out and touching him. Her eyes lingered on his chest, before she pulled them up to meet his gaze.
"You want to take a shower with me, Gilbert?" he asked her. "Return the favor?"
A vision of him naked, with water sliding down his body as she stroked him, took her breath away. Suddenly there wasn't enough air in the room for her to breathe properly. He was standing so close now she could lean in and feel his lips on hers. She wanted to say yes so badly she was struggling to remember why she shouldn't. There was a reason wasn't there? He was turning her brain to mush.
"I don't think that's a good idea," she whispered.
"Why? Because we should be focusing on the story?"
Honestly, the story hadn't crossed her mind when he'd suggested she help him out. Give it a few more days, and she would have forgotten the reason she'd come here. And that was why she couldn't afford to give into her desire here. If she got in that shower with him she would lose all hope of remembering that this situation wasn't real. Damon wasn't her husband, and she wasn't here to fall in love with him no matter how much Von Gruber might try and convince her otherwise.
"Yes," she said to him, clinging to the excuse like a lifeboat.
Damon hadn't planned on asking her to return the favor, but when he'd seen the way she'd looked at him when he'd stripped off his shirt, it had made him hard all over again. She wanted him, and when it was as obvious as it was right now, he didn't really understand why they had to say no. They were both equally affected - equally distracted. If they both surrendered, they would still be on equal footing; which was why he wasn't going to let her refusal slide, he decided now.
"We can't afford to lose sight of the reason," she said to him.
"What if I promise I won't?" he asked her, reaching out and running his thumb along her jawline, before lifting her chin up so she was looking into his eyes. "What if I promise you that no matter what happens between us I won't lose sight of why we're here? Would that change you answer?"
Of course he'd never lose sight of the reason they were here, Elena thought. She'd never believed for a moment that he might.
"No. It wouldn't," she told him.
"Why not?"
She had to give him another reason, Elena thought; a reason he couldn't dispute or push her on. It seemed she had no other choice than to give him the truth - or at least a portion of it.
"Because it's not you I'm worried about."
Damon stared at her. What did she think was going to happen if they slept together? Did she think she was going to forget they weren't married? Fall in love with him? He knew this was a pretty intense situation they were in here, pretending to be married and all, but still. She went to leave, but he stopped her before she could.
"What are you saying, Gilbert? Are you telling me you can't separate sex and what we're doing here?"
"I'm telling you I don't want to try."
So that was what this was all about, Damon thought. She wanted him as badly as he wanted her, but she was afraid she was going confuse fantasy and reality if they acted on the chemistry between them. Maybe the woman had had trouble separating casual sex from her feelings before. Maybe she didn't want run the risk that she might feel anything for him because they were here as rivals, competing for the story, and confusing fantasy and reality would be a very bad idea. Maybe she was still harbouring some kind of grudge. He didn't know.
"I should go back to bed," she said to him.
He didn't want to let her go. Her cheeks were still rosy, and her eyes were large, and dark, as she eyed him warily. She might want to keep him at a distance, but how long could either of them realistically resist what was going on between them? He was physically on edge here, and she was too. If he touched her again, if he kissed her, she would respond. If Von Gruber so much as whispered a suggestion to him about going to bed with Elena, Damon knew he stood no chance in hell of resisting her.
It would be so easy to seduce her. It would be so easy for both of them to lose control again. That thought was enough to scare the living crap out of him. He had no intention of losing control here. He'd asked her to trust him, and he wanted this investigation to run as smoothly as possible. He needed to keep his head on straight. He needed to do his job here, and he needed to regain control of himself around her before he was left with none. With that thought on his mind, he reluctantly stepped away from his old rival.
* * *
"Today," Von Gruber began, "we're going to talk about intimacy. Genuine intimacy requires dialogue, transparency, vulnerability, and reciprocity. Because of the differences in our genders, men and women tend to focus on different types on intimacy. Men often want to put more energy into achieving sexual intimacy. Women, on the other hand, want to focus more on achieving emotional intimacy. Both are equally important, and these differences between the genders should help us to achieve balance. Right, I want you to push your chairs back against the wall."
Elena watched Damon out of the corner of her eye as they stood up and pushed their chairs against the nearest wall. He'd been a little…cool with her today. Which was just fine, she told herself. Cool was preferable to the heat that had made her brain melt yesterday. Elena had pretended to be asleep last night when Damon had slipped into bed next to her. The smell of clean, fresh male had wrapped around her the moment she'd felt the bed dip beside her. She'd lain there awake; completely unsure if she wanted him to keep his distance, or touch her again.
When she'd woken up, Damon had been going over the things they'd bought from the Slater's Spies website. Everything had worked alright when they'd tested it out back in Mystic Falls, but apparently none of it worked now, bar one of the bugs they'd bought in the shape of a pen, and the recording device. Sure enough when she'd tried them out, nothing had worked. Buying spy equipment from an online store she'd never heard of had probably been stupid, but it didn't stop her from being angry, as well as even more anxious that their only defence against Von Gruber had been taken away. She was currently doing everything she could not to let her anxiety take over. Fortunately Damon seemed to be focused on the job they were here to do, and that was helping.
"I have cushions here," Von Gruber said to them, as everyone shuffled their chairs out of the way. "I want each of you to come and collect a cushion, and then find a place to sit on the floor, facing your partner. If you can do this now please."
Elena retrieved a cushion from Von Gruber, aware that Damon was behind her. It was impossible to not be aware of him. She was doing her best not to think about last night, but the moment she wasn't distracted by something the memory of how he had kissed her and touched her last night played over and over in her head. She kept expecting Von Gruber to say something about what had happened. The fact that he hadn't said anything yet doubled her anxiety.
Once she had her cushion she walked to the back of the room, as far away from Von Gruber as possible, and put it on the floor. Then she sat down on it, and crossed her legs. Damon sat down opposite her.
"We're going to work on a simple connection exercise. I want you to sit so that your knees are touching your partner's knees. You should easily be able to reach out and touch their chest with your hand."
Elena reluctantly scooted her cushion closer to Damon's.
"When you're comfortable, I want you to close your eyes. Focus on your breathing. Inhale through the nose. Fill your lungs with air. Exhale through the nose."
Von Gruber stopped talking, and silence fell as everyone concentrated on breathing.
"Keeping your eyes closed, I want you to reach out and hold your partner's hands, so that you are creating a physical connection."
Elena felt Damon take her hands in his.
"When you feel ready, I want you to open your eyes, and focus on your partner."
Elena opened her eyes at the same time Damon did, and locked them with his immediately.
"I want you to gaze deeply into each other's eyes. This is called soul gazing."
Damon could feel Elena starting to tense up as they looked at each other. He held her hands firmly in his, in case she suddenly decided to pull them away. This morning he'd done his best to give them both some space. Since Elena had made it clear she didn't want a physically intimate relationship, he was doing his best not to wind up any more sexually frustrated than he already was. An ice cold shower and hand relief had been good in theory, but the moment he'd got back into bed with her, the memory of how turned on she'd been had kept him awake, and aroused.
And now that he was thinking about it, he was struggling with being this close to her. It was impossible to distance yourself from someone else when you were holding their hands and staring into their eyes. He could smell the shampoo she'd used this morning, and he knew if he looked down he would see the swell of her breasts underneath the cashmere sweater she was wearing. However, it was the flash of vulnerability he'd witnessed as she'd sat in front of him, that had affected him the most. He couldn't help stroking her hands with his thumbs, trying to ease whatever discomfort she was feeling.
Elena didn't know which was worse; walking around with a blindfold on, and trying not to fall over, or this intense eye contact session with Damon. Her heart was suddenly racing. Her face was warming up. Her whole body was heating up as they continued to hold each other's gaze. It was too intense. She was acutely aware of the fact his thumb was rubbing small circles over the back of her hand. She guessed he thought it might be comforting. It wasn't. There was nothing comforting about feeling electricity shoot through you.
"Don't look away. Today is all about reconnection. I want you to think back to the time in your relationship when you felt happiest with the person in front of you. It could be your honeymoon, or the first few months you lived together. Perhaps it's a holiday you went on, or the very beginning of your relationship."
Elena didn't bother trying to think about a time like that. She and Damon didn't have one. Of course there was a time she'd thought they were friends, but that didn't count. They weren't together, and they never had been. She was relieved really. If this was real, and she was staring into Damon's eyes and remembering a time they had loved each other, she would probably be experiencing those feelings all over again - which was exactly what Von Gruber had promised. Was the man they were investigating really a legitimate marriage therapist with some extreme but effective techniques? Elena found herself frowning.
"What is it?" Damon whispered.
"Nothing," she told him.
"Do we have a problem here?" Von Gruber asked them as their therapist knelt down to their level.
"Everything's fine," Elena told him, trying to remain calm.
"How is the memory serving you, Elena? Are you remembering happy times spent with your husband?"
"Yes," Elena said.
"Tell me about one of them," Von Gruber said to her. "Tell me your favourite memory of the two of you together."
"How much longer do we have to soul gaze for?" Elena heard Brady ask.
Elena breathed a sigh of relief as Von Gruber stood up, muttering, "excuse me." It was the second time Elena had been grateful for Brady's presence since they'd arrived.
"How is staring into my wife's eyes supposed to improve intimacy?" Brady asked loudly. "Sounds like some hippy horse-shit to me."
"Eye contact is capable of stimulating powerful feelings of love and affection," Von Gruber told all of them. "When you look someone in the eye, their body produces a chemical called phenylethylamine, which will often make a person feel as if they are in love. Couples who have fallen out of love with each other should spend time looking into each other's eyes to stimulate the release of this chemical."
Elena felt her heart beat even harder. Eye contact could cause people to feel in love? That was crazy wasn't it? Damon just rolled his eyes and made a face, causing her to smile.
"Normally," Von Gruber added, "I would allow this exercise to continue for some time. Since I feel the mood has been broken, however, I want you to stop. We will continue when you come back for your individual sessions later. What I want you to do now is come up here and take one of these notebooks. You're going to write down the happy memories you remembered today. Please come and get a notebook."
"What glowing memories are you planning on reporting?" Damon asked her, as they walked up to the front of the room.
"I don't know yet," Elena told him.
It was on the tip of Damon's tongue to make a joke about the sex crazed honeymoon he was planning on writing down, but stopped himself in time. If he wanted to stay in control, then he needed to play down or ignore the sexual tension between them.
Von Gruber handed them each a brown leather journal. "For the two of you, I have an extra special task. I want you each to write me the story of how you fell in love with each other."
"I thought you wanted us to write about the happy moments we remembered today," Elena said to him.
"That is what I want everybody else to write. Not the two of you." Von Gruber gave them a smile full of condescension. "Go outside and write. Enjoy the sunshine. Enjoy each other. We'll look over your entries in your one o'clock session this afternoon."
"Looks like we're enjoying the sun today," Elena said to Damon, leading the way through the front door.
She turned around to ask him if thought Von Gruber had given them a special assignment because he'd seen the tape, but when she bumped into someone she turned back to apologise.
"I'm sorry…" Elena trailed off when she saw exactly who she had bumped into.
She was vaguely aware of Damon standing behind her, his hand on her back as she tried not to fall over from the shock.
"Katherine," Damon said, sounding just as shocked as she felt.
"I'm sorry," Katherine said, inclining her head to the side, to look at him. "Do I know you?"
References
http://www.askwomennet.com/eye-contact.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intimate_relationship
http://realfamiliesrealanswers.org/?page_id=47
My use for Katherine in this fic is very different to normal. Also I know some of you were concerned about Damon's member. I promise it'll be taken care of. Mwahahaha.