AoixUruha Fic
Title: “Till we meet again”
Pairing: AoixUruha
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Summary: Lying back on the headboard of his bed, he glanced down at the letter and immediately recognised the handwriting, “Ahh Aoi,” pausing to rip it open, “Wonder what I’ve done wrong this time.”
""Till we meet again”
He couldn’t help but cry once he‘d finished. Glistening streams filling his eyes and running down his soft cheek. In only a few hours, the pain he felt would be over, but he couldn’t help but feel sad. He knew it shouldn’t end this way.
Putting the letter carefully in the titled envelope and licking the seal, the bitter after-taste left a slight tinge in his mouth.
“I’ll miss you.”
He put the sealed letter down on the table where it was certain to be discovered and quickly left the apartment, the drive home would make him tired, and he needed time to recover his energy for tonight.
***
Throwing the keys onto the table, Uruha couldn’t help but notice the muffled clash, the sound that was normally so noticeable had changed. Looking down, a look of confusion painted his face as he noticed the letter. He hadn’t seen it this morning, so someone must’ve came into his apartment. The thought alone made his heart beat quicken. Grabbing the letter, he hurriedly made his way to his bedroom and closed the door.
He’d had a too much of a rough day to even care about possible burglars , as long as they didn’t bother him they’d be fine~
Lying back on the headboard of his bed, he glanced down at the letter and immediately recognised the handwriting, “Ahh Aoi,” pausing to rip it open, “Wonder what I’ve done wrong this time.”
***
“Kouyou,
RE: Confession.
I feel so blessed to know you. You’re an angel sent down from heaven, kept here by the love of everyone who meets you. You’re perfect in every way, shape and form. The way your clothes grasp your body, like a child’s needy clutch to a loved one.
I wake, my mind consumed with thoughts of you; replaying moments of us together in my head. Fantasy fuelled scenes of us kissing, my lips finally touching your soft features before softly gracing your lips. Even in my dreams I become light headed; imagining how perfect you would taste, your sweet tongue against my own, consuming your essence, holding you close to my body, feeling your sculpted features press against me…
No matter how much I try and forget it, I can never erase your image from my mind. It all makes sense to me now, this whole thing, I can finally put it into words.
I love you~”
***
Uruha set down the letter and took a deep breath. Staring up at the ceiling, he thought about all the times he’d wanted to tell Aoi his own feelings, but was too scared to go through with it. How could he have not noticed that smile? Aoi seemed to light up every time he was near. He was so happy he felt the same, after all this time they could finally be together, he could tell Aoi he felt the same way. He could finally embrace his true love.
The distant sirens of an Ambulance snapped Uruha back into reality. The clock in his room beeped midnight, he knew he’d have to get some sleep soon if he wanted to be up early to get to Aoi’s apartment. A blissful smile graced his face before yawning loudly, startling himself at his own release. He was so blissfully content, yet somehow, this still felt unreal, a magical dream he could wake up and lose at any second. Glancing down at the torn envelope, he noticed another piece of paper.
The writing was somewhat different, messy and blurred by water stains, tears? He couldn’t be sure. He recognised the Japanese from Cassis, his favourite song. That familiar smile echoed on his lips as he continued to read.
“When I was a child, I used to believe in fairy tales of true love and happy endings. My mother would read them to me every night, promising me if I wished hard enough, I would be the Prince in the story; I would have the perfect life with the beautiful Princess by my side.
As I’ve grown older, the belief has stopped. No matter how hard I wish, my fairy tale will never come true.
When I was in high school, all of my friends would brag about how many girls they had slept with, and when they asked me, I lied and said “too many to count.” I knew it was wrong, but in my school, everything was based on status.
The months went by, and I kept telling my stories of my numerous girlfriends, illustrating false stories about dates and relationships I knew nothing about.
When I was 16, my best friend caught me reading a yaoi book, and word spread. At school the next day I was attacked by people I thought were my friends. They threatened me with knives and told me to stay away from them, they said if they saw me with another guy they’d kill me. They said I wasn’t normal, that my sexuality was disgusting and it was a disgrace for guys to like other guys.
Throughout the rest of school, I was watched like some kind of criminal. My life had quickly been turned upside down in a matter of hours. I didn’t want to feel the way I did, I wanted to be normal and not be treated like an outcast, a deformed creature in a freak show, taunted by the audience. No one would talk to me anymore, my best friend turned against me and quickly my grades started to drop. I skipped classes I knew my friends were in. I couldn’t face them, the way they looked at me made me feel worthless.
On May 12th the same year, I attempted to take my own life. My parents had heard the rumours about my sexuality and had disowned me. We hadn’t spoke in months, I was just a stranger to them, an impostor living in their home. Sitting in my room every night, I could hear my mother crying, praying to the gods that this wasn’t real, that her only son wasn’t living this awful sin.
Such feelings brought shame on the family and like a virus, gradually eating me up inside, I knew I couldn’t keep living this sordid curse; every night I cried thinking about it, wishing I was someone else. Hoping I would wake up in the morning and everything would be normal. Hoping my parents and friends would love me again, tell me everything was okay. But it never was.
By 7pm, I’d planned everything out; the note was simple, a loving apology to my sister. She was the only one who was still there for me throughout this and it killed me knowing how much it’d hurt her and myself if I didn’t say goodbye. I bit my lip and pressed the blade to my wrist above the vein, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t break the skin. My body was refusing to let me go through with it.
I hurriedly packed up my stuff and ran out the door. I still don’t know where I was intent on heading, I just knew I had to get out of there. I had no money, no place to stay, but I needed sanctuary. I needed to be in a place where I felt I could belong and not be rejected because of my secret.
I can’t remember most of the experience, I’ve tried so hard to block out those memories. I ended up in a shelter I can only describe as a home for hell’s rejects. I was used for sex in exchange for a place to stay. I wish I had had the courage to get out of there, but at such a young age I didn’t have any other options. Looking back, I now realise how dire my situation was, living on the street would have been more pleasant.
When I was 17, they forced me onto the street with another boy in order to get “clients”. I found out from my accomplice that we were going to be sold. We had heard stories of this before, people from our hostel being bought and murdered within weeks. That night, we took the opportunity when everyone was asleep and escaped. We left our only belongings and relied on each other as a source of life.
For months we lived in whatever place we could find, living in fear of being found by the hostel owners. We eventually found a place at the back of an alley. It was poor living standards, but at least we felt a little safer. We’d taken some of their money and knew they would be looking for us. Once the money ran out, we stayed alive by stealing left over food from the back of a diner. I’m not proud of what we did, but it was the only thing we could do in our situation.
After Christmas, the hostel owners found our squat while Tomo was home. I came back and found his lifeless body hanging from the doorway. They’d took everything and hung him before cutting his throat. I’ll never forget that scene. It still haunts my thoughts, wondering if only he’d have been out, if only I’d have been there, it might have been different, he might have still been alive, it might’ve been me instead of him.
For the second time in my short life, the thought of death was more seductive than life itself, but staring at Tomo’s body, his vacant expression, I knew I couldn’t give up. He always told me we’d make something of ourselves one day. He was so full of hope and optimism. He was my reason for not giving up again.
Thinking back, I’m glad I couldn’t go through with suicide. If I had, I wouldn’t have met some of the most amazing people on earth, the people who loved me for who I was.
Ruki, Kai, Reita and You…
After Tomo had died, I promised myself I’d start a clean slate. Promised that no one would ever know of my past, but the first time I saw you, I knew I couldn’t suppress my feelings anymore. I’d been trying so hard to convince myself I was normal, pretend I wasn’t cursed with this and with just a fleeting glance into your eyes brought everything I’d been trying so hard to forget rushing straight back into my heart.
Your aura never failed to leave me breathless, over the years maturing from a young boy, to a god-like man, more beautiful than the Princesses in my story book as a child. You render me completely speechless, whenever I looked at you I couldn’t think straight. With every breath, hoping you’d notice me just once. But you never looked at me any different from the other’s. I was just a friend to you, a fellow band mate. I felt so unworthy of you, and I’m ashamed to say, at nights I turned to that familiar blade as my release. The blood trickling down my body, I tried to carve away the impurity, bleed away the past. Every night the same situation, never getting any further to my goal.
I’ll hold onto my thoughts of you as I fall asleep, I’ll never let go, I promise. Let me embrace this dream, my angel, you’ll be forever in my heart. I’m sorry if I caused you pain, but this is something I need to do.
At 11.50pm tonight, I will end my pain with a permanent solution. You’ll no longer be plagued with my impurity. I can’t live anymore without my Angel. My Princess from the story book.
A life without you is meaningless, Uruha.
Thank you for the beautiful years you‘ve graced me with. They’ve been the best of my life, and for this, I’m truly grateful. You’ve shown me great things, you’ve taught me happiness, courage and most of all, love.
I never knew someone as perfect as you could exist. I’m just happy I found you before my time ran out.Till we meet again,
Aoi.”
The words hit him like a speeding bullet. Throwing the letter to the ground and dashing to the door, Uruha couldn’t see for tears filling his eyes. He had to stop this, he had to tell Aoi he loved him too. His dream was quickly crashing, how could this be happening to him? The perfect world he had built so quickly was already diminishing. Everything was moving so fast and his heart was pounding out of his chest. Furiously picking up his keys, his eyes glimpsed at the clock hanging by the door, 12.27am.
The same sirens he’d heard earlier played in his mind as he fell to the floor clutching his chest.
He was too late.
***
Comments and constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!! ^^