DAY 11: Out of the Fire
Title: Out of the Fire
Written by: deplore
Pairing: Baekhyun/Tao (one-sided Tao/Kris)
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Summary: Zitao runs a restaurant and tries to fall out of love with Wu Yifan. Baekhyun gets stood up for a dinner date, but keeps coming back anyway. Sehun and Jongin are the worst employees ever.
By coincidence, Zitao opens the Red Thread the same year that he begins falling out of love with Wu Yifan. He buys out the first floor of a building with an open kitchen and just enough space to cram a decent number of tables into, hires a few workers, and lets his life become taken over with the day-to-day needs of running a restaurant. It's hard work, but Zitao's always relished a challenge: there's a certain satisfaction he gets from grasping success with his own two hands, even if he has to hold onto it by the tips of his fingernails at times.
Three years pass and some things change: he loses Lu Han and Yixing as waiters and gains Sehun and Jongin in their place; Yifan starts dating a tall, cheerful girl named Meili; the restaurant's popularity takes a significant spike after two B-grade celebrities get engaged there. Others don't: Sehun and Jongin are just as nosy and snarky as Lu Han and Yixing ever were; Zitao goes on a grand total of four dates with four people, none of whom he ever calls back; whenever he talks to Yifan, there's a lurching feeling in his heart that reminds him he never finished falling out of love. Such is life, he supposes - a jumble of constants and variables.
There are things in life you learn to move on from, and others that you learn to live with. Maybe, Zitao thinks, his first love is something he'll never get over completely.
For most, Saturday mornings are a day to sleep in late, but Zitao's always up early: they're always busy days at the restaurant, and he likes to take all the time he can getting ready. By the time eight o'clock comes around, he's already up and at work, going through the daily preparations at his own pace. It's quiet without Sehun and Jongin to fill the place up with chatter, but he doesn't mind it - ever since opening the Red Thread, he doesn't get much time to be alone.
About half an hour before Sehun and Jongin usually show up, he hears the string of bells on the front door chime. "Sorry, we're not open yet!" he calls out, but then he looks up: it's Yifan.
"Sorry for bothering you," Yifan says, closing the door behind him before walking towards the open kitchen.
"It's not a bother at all," Zitao replies, trying not to sound as surprised as he is. He puts down the utensils he'd been holding, leaving the kitchen to meet Yifan halfway. "What brings you here, though?"
Yifan reaches out and touches his upper arm lightly. "Zitao, can I ask a favor?" he says.
"Yeah, of course," Zitao says, trying to ignore the way his heart skips. "What is it?"
"It's, well - could I reserve the whole restaurant three months from now?" Yifan hesitates for a moment, but then - with a shyness that Zitao's never seen from him before - he adds, "I want to take Meili out for dinner and propose to her, without making it too public."
Zitao's chest tightens a little, and there is a cruel little voice in the back of his mind that wants to turn Yifan down just to spite him, his revenge on Yifan for never noticing how in love Zitao is with him. It feels so tempting just to say no, I can't, because there are all sorts of practical reasons why he could turn down the request, like the fact that Saturday evenings always rake in the most money every week, or that it's not convenient for him, or that it's not fair to anybody who might want to make a reservation for the same night. He opens his mouth, teetering on the inch of saying no - but then Yifan smiles and says, "I understand if you can't, but it would really mean a lot to me. This restaurant has a lot of good memories, and I really want to propose here."
Yifan's smile has always been devastating to him. Just like that, his head clears, and Zitao is back from being somebody who scares him a little. "I'm really touched," Zitao says, careful not to let his voice betray his emotions. "And of course I can do that. I'll close during our normal dinner hours, and see if I can do something nice to decorate the place for you."
"It's already nice enough," Yifan says, and he squeezes Zitao's arm lightly for a moment before he lets go, grinning with his whole face. "Thank you, Zitao - honestly, I can't thank you enough."
"No problem," Zitao says, and returns the smile as best as he can. The voice has stopped, but the thoughts are still echoing in his head.
The rest of the day, Zitao's mind repeats a mantra of you're hopeless that he can't seem to stop no matter how hard he tries. He throws himself into his cooking with the hopes that it'll distract him, forcing himself to concentrate on each dish so that he doesn't even have the mental space to spend thinking about anything else. The voice in the back of his head isn't stopped completely, but it's blocked out enough that he can bear through it. Some people meditate - Zitao cooks instead.
It's near the peak time of the evening that something manages to break through his focus. "Zitao - hey, Zitao, are you listening?" Jongin asks from across the counter that separates the open kitchen from the rest of the restaurant, raising his voice until Zitao finally notices.
"Sorry," Zitao says, looking up and flashing a brief, apologetic smile. "What is it, Jongin?"
"This is the order for table seven, right?" Jongin asks, frowning slightly as he gestures to the plates ready to be served. "‘Cause, the guy at that table... he's been here alone for a while now."
Zitao peers into the dining area, craning his neck slightly to get a better view: there's a young man sitting by himself at one of the center tables. "That's strange," Zitao murmurs, mostly to himself: table seven is prime seating, a table that people reserve for celebrations or anniversaries or proposals - not a table that people sit at alone.
"Looks like he got stood up," Jongin comments off-handedly, as he waits for Zitao to finish with the dishes he's working on. "I wonder how long he's gonna wait there?"
Zitao looks over at the stranger - he has a nice face, Zitao thinks, and he's probably not the kind of guy who's used to getting rejected so blatantly by other people. "As long as he's ordered, he's a customer, and that's all that matters," Zitao replies. "So let's just serve him and not worry about it."
People come and go through the restaurant, but almost two hours later, the man at table seven is still there by himself, checking his cell phone every once in a while. He'd ordered enough for two, but he's only picked slightly at the food. "Ah, so that's the guy Jongin mentioned earlier. What a stickler," Sehun says, leaning against the counter. "I'd bet he's either desperate or delusional."
Zitao feels bad for him, but Sehun already teases him for being a bleeding-heart as it is, so he doesn't say anything. Instead, he sighs and hesitates for a second before saying, "There's a red velvet cake that we were going to throw out at the ending of the evening, right? I'll prepare a piece of it for him, so serve it and tell him it's on the house."
Sehun tilts his head. "You sure?" he asks. "Isn't the free cake normally reserved for marriage proposals and birthday parties?"
"Yeah, I'm sure," Zitao replies. "He probably needs it more than any happy couple does, don't you think?"
Sehun just shrugs, turning to grab one of their pastry dishes as Zitao slices a generous portion of cake, garnishing it on the side with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. It's nothing fancy, but he figures that it's the thought that counts.
Zitao tries not to make his staring too obvious as Sehun walks over and sets the plate down on table seven. "For you," Sehun says. "From the chef. It's on the house."
The man blinks a few times. "Thank you," he replies slowly. His voice is soft, but it carries, and Zitao can hear him clearly from the open kitchen without even trying.
"Don't thank me - go thank the chef yourself," Sehun says, before turning away brusquely. Zitao quickly averts his gaze and pretends as if he's concentrating on plating a fruit tart, and hopes that nobody noticed him watching. Sehun doesn't say anything when he returns to the open kitchen, and Zitao doesn't ask.
The rest of the evening, Zitao wonders if the man at table seven really will come up to greet him, but closing time comes and nobody does.
The next day, Zitao calls Yixing. "Yifan told me he's going to propose," he says.
"He'd told me he was thinking about it," Yixing replies. Even over the phone, Zitao can hear a cautious note in his tone, because Yixing's known about Zitao's feelings about Yifan for almost as long as he's known Zitao to begin with.
"He says he wants to do it at the restaurant," Zitao continues.
Yixing hums in affirmation - "That's what he said to me, too. So I guess he's already asked you about it?"
"Yeah," he answers. "And I said yes, of course."
Yixing sighs. "You don't have to do this to yourself, you know," he says.
"No, it's for the best," Zitao says, but the words don't even sound convincing to himself. "I want to do this."
For a few moments, there's silence. "You're a good friend, Zitao," Yixing finally replies.
If only that were true, Zitao thinks, but all he says is, "I think I'm going to go to sleep soon. Thanks, Yixing - for talking with me. Good night."
Zitao hangs up before Yixing can say anything more. It's rude, he knows, but Yixing will understand.
Zitao hasn't done a very good job at falling out of love, but he has at least learned this much: the world at large cares remarkably little about the personal agonies of an individual. The next day, Jongin and Sehun crack bad jokes and make sarcastic comments, just as they always do. The restaurant's stock of ingredients runs perilously low on mushrooms and sesame oil, just as it usually is. The Sunday regulars that Zitao's come to recognize show up, as he expected they would.
The monotony, he thinks, is almost a bit reassuring, as if it's life's way of saying things go on.
It's mid-afternoon on a Wednesday that something changes, when somebody comes up to the open kitchen and asks, "Hello! Are you busy?"
The voice isn't Sehun's or Jongin's, so Zitao looks up from what he's doing. He has a gut feeling that the he's seen the person's face before, but he can't quite place it. "Um, I'm sorry," he says. "Customers can't come into the kitchen. Do you need help with something? One of the waiters can help you, so -"
"No, I wanted to talk to you," the stranger replies, cutting him off mid-sentence. "You did me a favor a few days ago. I thought it would be decent of me to say thank you, even if it's a little delayed."
It takes a moment, but then he remembers - "You're the one who was sitting at table seven last Friday," Zitao says. "You ordered a cold noodle dish, right?"
"Yeah," he answers, a little surprised. "You remember that?"
Zitao shrugs, unsure of how to answer (well, you got stood up - it made an impression), but the other man goes on without waiting for an answer: "Anyway, thank you," he says. "I appreciated the cake. It was really good."
"You're welcome," Zitao replies, smiling slightly. "I'm glad you thought so."
For a few moments, the man stares Zitao straight in the eyes, as if searching for something - finally, though, he says, "My name's Byun Baekhyun. It's nice to meet you."
"It's nice to meet you too," Zitao says. "I'm Huang Zitao."
"Huang Zitao," Baekhyun echoes, before smiling. "I like your restaurant, Huang Zitao - the atmosphere's pretty good here. I think I'll come back again some other time."
"If you have the time, then I hope you do," Zitao says.
Baekhyun laughs. "I'll be back, for sure," he promises.
Zitao doesn't really expect him to, but Baekhyun comes back the next Wednesday, ignoring Sehun's fruitless attempt to seat him in favor of walking straight over to the open kitchen's counter. "Hey," he calls out, waving and grinning when Zitao looks up from the bowl of ingredients he's mixing. "I'm back. How's your week been?"
"Alright," Zitao answers, putting the bowl down and flashing a quick smile in return. "And you?"
"Tiring," Baekhyun says. "But not bad, overall."
Zitao can see Sehun shooting a glare at Baekhyun's back and muttering angrily to himself (probably something about rude customers, if he knows Sehun well enough), and he has to stifle a laugh. "Are you usually free around this time?" he asks Baekhyun, ignoring Sehun's pouting. "You were here last Wednesday afternoon, too. If I remember right."
"Yeah, usually," Baekhyun replies. "I keep weird working hours sometimes - I only have time for lunch pretty late most days. And speaking of lunch - what would you recommend?"
"Well, we just got in a shipment of fish last night, so it's still fresh," Zitao says thoughtfully. "How about a salad with seared salmon?"
"Sounds good!" Baekhyun answers cheerfully. He sits himself at the table closest to the kitchen and the two of them make small talk while Zitao cooks: Baekhyun, he finds, is easy to talk to, and without even trying he learns all sorts of things about Baekhyun (he's a graduate student at Yonsei University's school for journalism and mass communication, they're both tauruses, he has an older brother). Baekhyun asks him plenty of questions too - about the restaurant, mostly, but talking about the restaurant also means talking about his past, his dreams, his passions - and Zitao feels a little flattered by the attention.
Baekhyun keeps coming back every week, and Zitao starts looking forward to seeing him. A few times, he takes others along with him - there's Chanyeol ("My best friend, and simultaneously the cause and solution to most of my life problems," Baekhyun says when he introduces them), who has messy hair, a wide smile, and seems to take some strange delight in spilling his glass of water whenever Sehun or Jongin are nearby, and another time he shows up with two of his classmates, Kyungsoo and Jongdae. Secretly, though, Zitao likes it the most when it's just Baekhyun by himself, because he likes it when it's just the two of them talking with each other.
On the fifth week in a row that he shows up, Zitao sends him another complimentary slice of cake. "For your loyal patronage," Zitao explains.
"Our five-week anniversary?" You shouldn't have," Baekhyun jokes, before laughing and reaching out to pull Zitao into a one-armed hug.
"I'm glad we met, Huang Zitao," Baekhyun says - unexpectedly, Zitao thinks he feels his heart skip a beat.
Jongin and Sehun start an incredibly unsubtle whispering campaign when he and Baekhyun exchange numbers a few weeks later, because Zitao's cellphone starts going off a few times every hour when before he only got a few texts a day. For the sake of his own sanity, Zitao tries to pretend like he doesn't hear when Jongin comments with things like, "Byun Baekhyun totally wants to tap that," or Sehun when he nods in agreement.
You are fond of those two idiots. Do not strangle them or you will have to hire new waiters, and that would be a real pain, he tells himself as he watches them make lewd gestures whenever they pass behind Baekhyun. The mental pep talk doesn't work, though, so instead he chops up a head of lettuce with more viciousness than strictly necessary. It does nothing in the way of intimidating either of them into being quiet, but it does make Zitao feel a little better, until Sehun walks up to him and shoves a half-crumpled receipt into Zitao's chest.
"Here, a note for you," Sehun says. "From your not-so-secret admirer - he was going to say goodbye in person, but you were busy massacring vegetables, so he decided not to bother you."
Zitao restrains the urge to roll his eyes. "Thanks," he replies. He can't quite keep the sarcasm out of his tone, but Sehun ignores it anyway.
"Can I ask you a favor?" Sehun asks. "Please stop putting me in between your high school level flirting, it makes me seriously nauseous."
Jongin snorts as he walks by, carrying a small stack of dirty dishes to the dishwasher. "Sehun has absolutely no experience with high school romance except from watching terrible romcoms, so you shouldn't listen to him," Jongin says. "I, however, do have experience with high school romance, so you should listen to me when I say you two are getting disgustingly cutesy with each other."
Zitao smooths out the receipt and can't quite suppress a smile - Baekhyun's written a little note of encouragement, complete with smiley faces and hearts. "He actually likes it," Sehun says to Jongin, who leans over and pretends like he's throwing up into the sink.
"Don't you two have other things to do? Like, things which I actually employ you for?" Zitao asks, but he's not serious and all three of them know it.
"I consider this to be a civic duty," Jongin answers, with exaggerated solemnity. "Because nobody should have to witness the sheer sappiness you two bleed all over the place."
"But, you know - it's pretty obvious that he's definitely interested in you," Sehun says. "Are you interested in him, though?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Zitao replies, mostly because he doesn't want to have this discussion with Oh Sehun, of all people.
Sehun scoffs. "Sure you don't. So what are you going to do when he asks you out?"
Zitao doesn't know. "If you two are finished clearing up all the tables, then you guys can take a break now," he says, in a blatant attempt to bribe them to drop the topic. Thankfully, though, both of them take the bait - he ends up having to skip his own break to finish cleaning the kitchen by himself, but he doesn't really mind.
Zitao fell in love with Yifan because Yifan had been the one who first reached out to him those first few weeks after he'd moved to South Korea, when he'd felt alone and friendless and a little scared. It was Yifan who'd introduced him to Yixing and Lu Han, who'd brought him to places all over the city, who'd taught him to live in and love being in Seoul - in turn, Zitao had fallen for him embarrassingly hard and fast.
Baekhyun, though, is different. Baekhyun can make the blood rush to his head with a smile and his heart race whenever Baekhyun reaches out and touches him, but Zitao's still not sure if that's love or just a passing infatuation with the first person to pay him attention in years. He thinks it'd be nice to be in love with Baekhyun, because Baekhyun is warm and kind and there. Even though he only sees Baekhyun once a week, being with him is comfortable, and he thinks that he'd like to be with Baekhyun outside the restaurant too: to walk with him around Seoul, sharing favorite places, or visiting him at his university.
Life is a jumble of constants and variables: maybe, he thinks, there's a part of him that's scared to let go of being in love with Wu Yifan and start being in love with somebody different.
Time flies, and the rainy days of April open up to the far sunnier May afternoons. The date of the engagement dinner comes closer, so Yifan starts calling more often to plan for it, but Zitao tries not to think about that more than he has to. To occupy his spare time, he starts planning the summer menu to be served at the restaurant, and starts experimenting with European cuisines in his spare time. Baekhyun still shows up every Wednesday, but looks more tired than usual - "A project I'm working on is due soon," he explains, rubbing slightly at the dark bags underneath his eyes. Zitao treats him to free cups of coffee and desserts until Baekhyun announces the third week of May that he's finished, beaming and grinning as he reaches over and pulls Zitao in for a celebratory hug, folding his arms tight around Zitao's waist.
They're interrupted when Sehun clears his throat and says, "Um, you two? Are still in a public location. Please control yourselves."
Baekhyun lets Zitao go and sticks his tongue out at Sehun. "I'm not tipping you," he says, but Sehun pretends like he doesn't hear.
"Your unresolved sexual tension is a serious problem that needs to be fixed as soon as possible," Jongin informs him later, after Baekhyun's left. Zitao ignores him, as usual.
A few days before the engagement, Baekhyun comes to the restaurant as always, but instead of greeting Zitao the way he usually does, he says, "Before I say anything else, I wanted to clear something up first." He hesitates for a moment, and Zitao is almost a little surprised, because the only time he's ever seen Baekhyun look so uncertain was the first night they'd met - it's not an emotion that suits him. Finally, though, he asks, "You know the first time I came to the restaurant?"
"Yeah," Zitao replies. "I still even remember what you ordered."
Baekhyun smiles faintly at that. "I'm flattered," he says. The smile doesn't fade, but the expression on his face turns serious as he goes on. "I wanted to explain about that night, though, so that you don't get the wrong impression about me, or what I'm about to ask you next. You remember I got stood up, I'm guessing?"
"Well, yes," Zitao says, tone cautious. There's a part of him that has already sensed where this conversation is going, but his mind refuses to acknowledge it.
"That time, the person who stood me up... it wasn't somebody I knew very well, or anything like that. It was just a blind date. Somebody Chanyeol set me up with." There's a pause. "Actually, I haven't really dated dated in over a year," Baekhyun admits.
Zitao doesn't know how to reply. "I haven't in even longer," he says, blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.
"Then," Baekhyun asks, turning his face up to look Zitao right in the eyes. "Can I ask you on a date, Huang Zitao?"
Zitao closes his eyes and exhales.
Zitao calls Yixing and says, without greeting, "Somebody asked me out today. Somebody I think I might like back."
"What did you say?" Yixing replies.
"I asked him to wait until next week," Zitao answers. He doesn't elaborate on why, because Yixing knows just as well as he does what lies in between today and seven days later.
He expects a warning, or maybe a reproach, but all Yixing asks is, "Are you sure?"
"I'm sure," Zitao says. "It has to be next week. I have to do things properly."
He imagines Yixing closing his eyes and sighing. "I understand," Yixing replies. "Do what feels right."
The evening of the engagement dinner comes. Zitao closes the restaurant after the lunch crowd has filtered out and spends the rest of the afternoon decorating. He puts bowls of water on each table with tea candles in them, and folds colored plastic wrap over the lights, turning them as dim as they'll go so that the restaurant is bathed in shades of dark red. "It's beautiful," Yifan says not half a minute after he walks through the door. "So much more beautiful than anything I could have come up with - it's perfect, honestly."
"Creativity was never really your strong suit to begin with," he teases. "But I'm glad you like it."
"I can't thank you enough for doing this," Yifan says.
"If you want to thank me, then you'd better make sure you make sure this is one of the happiest days of Meili's life, alright?" Zitao replies, smiling.
Yifan laughs. "As if I need you to tell me that," he tells him, but his tone's not serious, and he reaches over and squeezes Zitao's arm lightly.
"Then you'd better not let me down now, alright?" Zitao says. The lighthearted bantering comes easily to him - probably, he thinks, more easily than it ever has before.
Yifan, he thinks, must have noticed it too, because then he says, "You seem happier lately, Zitao. I don't know why that is, but I'm glad." He smiles, patting Zitao's arm one last time before letting to. "You, of all people, deserve it."
"I am," Zitao replies, and grins in return. "I'm really happy."
The dinner goes well: Meili cries a little when Yifan gets on one knee and holds a ring out to her after they've finished dessert. "Yes, yes, a million times yes," she says, and for a few moments both of them just smile and stare at each other, shamelessly teary-eyed and hopelessly in love with each other. Zitao can't help but smile along with them just watching, because it's beautiful and this ending, he thinks, is satisfying: it takes him three years, but he finishes falling out of love.
Baekhyun comes by late Wednesday afternoon as he always does. "Hey, how are you?" he asks as he walks towards the open kitchen.
"I'm good," Zitao says, and smiles. "How are you?"
"I'm nervous," Baekhyun admits, before changing the subject: "What should I get to eat?"
"I prepared something already, when I was waiting for you to come. A cold noodle dish. Is that alright?" Zitao asks.
Baekhyun laughs a little at that, and replies, "You're never going to forget that, are you?"
"I cook for a living - it's only natural I remember that much," Zitao replies, smiling slightly.
"Cold noodles are fine," Baekhyun says.
Zitao stares at the ground and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry for making you wait, but I'm ready now," Zitao says, meeting Baekhyun's gaze. He can't quite read the expression in Baekhyun's eyes, but he goes on anyway. "Can I take you on a date, Byun Baekhyun?"
Wu Yifan might have been Zitao's first love, but Baekhyun is the first person he's ever confessed to, and it's wrecking his nerves and his heart more than anything else has before. But then Baekhyun smiles - "I'd like that," he says. "I'd like that a lot."
Written by: deplore
Pairing: Baekhyun/Tao (one-sided Tao/Kris)
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Summary: Zitao runs a restaurant and tries to fall out of love with Wu Yifan. Baekhyun gets stood up for a dinner date, but keeps coming back anyway. Sehun and Jongin are the worst employees ever.
By coincidence, Zitao opens the Red Thread the same year that he begins falling out of love with Wu Yifan. He buys out the first floor of a building with an open kitchen and just enough space to cram a decent number of tables into, hires a few workers, and lets his life become taken over with the day-to-day needs of running a restaurant. It's hard work, but Zitao's always relished a challenge: there's a certain satisfaction he gets from grasping success with his own two hands, even if he has to hold onto it by the tips of his fingernails at times.
Three years pass and some things change: he loses Lu Han and Yixing as waiters and gains Sehun and Jongin in their place; Yifan starts dating a tall, cheerful girl named Meili; the restaurant's popularity takes a significant spike after two B-grade celebrities get engaged there. Others don't: Sehun and Jongin are just as nosy and snarky as Lu Han and Yixing ever were; Zitao goes on a grand total of four dates with four people, none of whom he ever calls back; whenever he talks to Yifan, there's a lurching feeling in his heart that reminds him he never finished falling out of love. Such is life, he supposes - a jumble of constants and variables.
There are things in life you learn to move on from, and others that you learn to live with. Maybe, Zitao thinks, his first love is something he'll never get over completely.
For most, Saturday mornings are a day to sleep in late, but Zitao's always up early: they're always busy days at the restaurant, and he likes to take all the time he can getting ready. By the time eight o'clock comes around, he's already up and at work, going through the daily preparations at his own pace. It's quiet without Sehun and Jongin to fill the place up with chatter, but he doesn't mind it - ever since opening the Red Thread, he doesn't get much time to be alone.
About half an hour before Sehun and Jongin usually show up, he hears the string of bells on the front door chime. "Sorry, we're not open yet!" he calls out, but then he looks up: it's Yifan.
"Sorry for bothering you," Yifan says, closing the door behind him before walking towards the open kitchen.
"It's not a bother at all," Zitao replies, trying not to sound as surprised as he is. He puts down the utensils he'd been holding, leaving the kitchen to meet Yifan halfway. "What brings you here, though?"
Yifan reaches out and touches his upper arm lightly. "Zitao, can I ask a favor?" he says.
"Yeah, of course," Zitao says, trying to ignore the way his heart skips. "What is it?"
"It's, well - could I reserve the whole restaurant three months from now?" Yifan hesitates for a moment, but then - with a shyness that Zitao's never seen from him before - he adds, "I want to take Meili out for dinner and propose to her, without making it too public."
Zitao's chest tightens a little, and there is a cruel little voice in the back of his mind that wants to turn Yifan down just to spite him, his revenge on Yifan for never noticing how in love Zitao is with him. It feels so tempting just to say no, I can't, because there are all sorts of practical reasons why he could turn down the request, like the fact that Saturday evenings always rake in the most money every week, or that it's not convenient for him, or that it's not fair to anybody who might want to make a reservation for the same night. He opens his mouth, teetering on the inch of saying no - but then Yifan smiles and says, "I understand if you can't, but it would really mean a lot to me. This restaurant has a lot of good memories, and I really want to propose here."
Yifan's smile has always been devastating to him. Just like that, his head clears, and Zitao is back from being somebody who scares him a little. "I'm really touched," Zitao says, careful not to let his voice betray his emotions. "And of course I can do that. I'll close during our normal dinner hours, and see if I can do something nice to decorate the place for you."
"It's already nice enough," Yifan says, and he squeezes Zitao's arm lightly for a moment before he lets go, grinning with his whole face. "Thank you, Zitao - honestly, I can't thank you enough."
"No problem," Zitao says, and returns the smile as best as he can. The voice has stopped, but the thoughts are still echoing in his head.
The rest of the day, Zitao's mind repeats a mantra of you're hopeless that he can't seem to stop no matter how hard he tries. He throws himself into his cooking with the hopes that it'll distract him, forcing himself to concentrate on each dish so that he doesn't even have the mental space to spend thinking about anything else. The voice in the back of his head isn't stopped completely, but it's blocked out enough that he can bear through it. Some people meditate - Zitao cooks instead.
It's near the peak time of the evening that something manages to break through his focus. "Zitao - hey, Zitao, are you listening?" Jongin asks from across the counter that separates the open kitchen from the rest of the restaurant, raising his voice until Zitao finally notices.
"Sorry," Zitao says, looking up and flashing a brief, apologetic smile. "What is it, Jongin?"
"This is the order for table seven, right?" Jongin asks, frowning slightly as he gestures to the plates ready to be served. "‘Cause, the guy at that table... he's been here alone for a while now."
Zitao peers into the dining area, craning his neck slightly to get a better view: there's a young man sitting by himself at one of the center tables. "That's strange," Zitao murmurs, mostly to himself: table seven is prime seating, a table that people reserve for celebrations or anniversaries or proposals - not a table that people sit at alone.
"Looks like he got stood up," Jongin comments off-handedly, as he waits for Zitao to finish with the dishes he's working on. "I wonder how long he's gonna wait there?"
Zitao looks over at the stranger - he has a nice face, Zitao thinks, and he's probably not the kind of guy who's used to getting rejected so blatantly by other people. "As long as he's ordered, he's a customer, and that's all that matters," Zitao replies. "So let's just serve him and not worry about it."
People come and go through the restaurant, but almost two hours later, the man at table seven is still there by himself, checking his cell phone every once in a while. He'd ordered enough for two, but he's only picked slightly at the food. "Ah, so that's the guy Jongin mentioned earlier. What a stickler," Sehun says, leaning against the counter. "I'd bet he's either desperate or delusional."
Zitao feels bad for him, but Sehun already teases him for being a bleeding-heart as it is, so he doesn't say anything. Instead, he sighs and hesitates for a second before saying, "There's a red velvet cake that we were going to throw out at the ending of the evening, right? I'll prepare a piece of it for him, so serve it and tell him it's on the house."
Sehun tilts his head. "You sure?" he asks. "Isn't the free cake normally reserved for marriage proposals and birthday parties?"
"Yeah, I'm sure," Zitao replies. "He probably needs it more than any happy couple does, don't you think?"
Sehun just shrugs, turning to grab one of their pastry dishes as Zitao slices a generous portion of cake, garnishing it on the side with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. It's nothing fancy, but he figures that it's the thought that counts.
Zitao tries not to make his staring too obvious as Sehun walks over and sets the plate down on table seven. "For you," Sehun says. "From the chef. It's on the house."
The man blinks a few times. "Thank you," he replies slowly. His voice is soft, but it carries, and Zitao can hear him clearly from the open kitchen without even trying.
"Don't thank me - go thank the chef yourself," Sehun says, before turning away brusquely. Zitao quickly averts his gaze and pretends as if he's concentrating on plating a fruit tart, and hopes that nobody noticed him watching. Sehun doesn't say anything when he returns to the open kitchen, and Zitao doesn't ask.
The rest of the evening, Zitao wonders if the man at table seven really will come up to greet him, but closing time comes and nobody does.
The next day, Zitao calls Yixing. "Yifan told me he's going to propose," he says.
"He'd told me he was thinking about it," Yixing replies. Even over the phone, Zitao can hear a cautious note in his tone, because Yixing's known about Zitao's feelings about Yifan for almost as long as he's known Zitao to begin with.
"He says he wants to do it at the restaurant," Zitao continues.
Yixing hums in affirmation - "That's what he said to me, too. So I guess he's already asked you about it?"
"Yeah," he answers. "And I said yes, of course."
Yixing sighs. "You don't have to do this to yourself, you know," he says.
"No, it's for the best," Zitao says, but the words don't even sound convincing to himself. "I want to do this."
For a few moments, there's silence. "You're a good friend, Zitao," Yixing finally replies.
If only that were true, Zitao thinks, but all he says is, "I think I'm going to go to sleep soon. Thanks, Yixing - for talking with me. Good night."
Zitao hangs up before Yixing can say anything more. It's rude, he knows, but Yixing will understand.
Zitao hasn't done a very good job at falling out of love, but he has at least learned this much: the world at large cares remarkably little about the personal agonies of an individual. The next day, Jongin and Sehun crack bad jokes and make sarcastic comments, just as they always do. The restaurant's stock of ingredients runs perilously low on mushrooms and sesame oil, just as it usually is. The Sunday regulars that Zitao's come to recognize show up, as he expected they would.
The monotony, he thinks, is almost a bit reassuring, as if it's life's way of saying things go on.
It's mid-afternoon on a Wednesday that something changes, when somebody comes up to the open kitchen and asks, "Hello! Are you busy?"
The voice isn't Sehun's or Jongin's, so Zitao looks up from what he's doing. He has a gut feeling that the he's seen the person's face before, but he can't quite place it. "Um, I'm sorry," he says. "Customers can't come into the kitchen. Do you need help with something? One of the waiters can help you, so -"
"No, I wanted to talk to you," the stranger replies, cutting him off mid-sentence. "You did me a favor a few days ago. I thought it would be decent of me to say thank you, even if it's a little delayed."
It takes a moment, but then he remembers - "You're the one who was sitting at table seven last Friday," Zitao says. "You ordered a cold noodle dish, right?"
"Yeah," he answers, a little surprised. "You remember that?"
Zitao shrugs, unsure of how to answer (well, you got stood up - it made an impression), but the other man goes on without waiting for an answer: "Anyway, thank you," he says. "I appreciated the cake. It was really good."
"You're welcome," Zitao replies, smiling slightly. "I'm glad you thought so."
For a few moments, the man stares Zitao straight in the eyes, as if searching for something - finally, though, he says, "My name's Byun Baekhyun. It's nice to meet you."
"It's nice to meet you too," Zitao says. "I'm Huang Zitao."
"Huang Zitao," Baekhyun echoes, before smiling. "I like your restaurant, Huang Zitao - the atmosphere's pretty good here. I think I'll come back again some other time."
"If you have the time, then I hope you do," Zitao says.
Baekhyun laughs. "I'll be back, for sure," he promises.
Zitao doesn't really expect him to, but Baekhyun comes back the next Wednesday, ignoring Sehun's fruitless attempt to seat him in favor of walking straight over to the open kitchen's counter. "Hey," he calls out, waving and grinning when Zitao looks up from the bowl of ingredients he's mixing. "I'm back. How's your week been?"
"Alright," Zitao answers, putting the bowl down and flashing a quick smile in return. "And you?"
"Tiring," Baekhyun says. "But not bad, overall."
Zitao can see Sehun shooting a glare at Baekhyun's back and muttering angrily to himself (probably something about rude customers, if he knows Sehun well enough), and he has to stifle a laugh. "Are you usually free around this time?" he asks Baekhyun, ignoring Sehun's pouting. "You were here last Wednesday afternoon, too. If I remember right."
"Yeah, usually," Baekhyun replies. "I keep weird working hours sometimes - I only have time for lunch pretty late most days. And speaking of lunch - what would you recommend?"
"Well, we just got in a shipment of fish last night, so it's still fresh," Zitao says thoughtfully. "How about a salad with seared salmon?"
"Sounds good!" Baekhyun answers cheerfully. He sits himself at the table closest to the kitchen and the two of them make small talk while Zitao cooks: Baekhyun, he finds, is easy to talk to, and without even trying he learns all sorts of things about Baekhyun (he's a graduate student at Yonsei University's school for journalism and mass communication, they're both tauruses, he has an older brother). Baekhyun asks him plenty of questions too - about the restaurant, mostly, but talking about the restaurant also means talking about his past, his dreams, his passions - and Zitao feels a little flattered by the attention.
Baekhyun keeps coming back every week, and Zitao starts looking forward to seeing him. A few times, he takes others along with him - there's Chanyeol ("My best friend, and simultaneously the cause and solution to most of my life problems," Baekhyun says when he introduces them), who has messy hair, a wide smile, and seems to take some strange delight in spilling his glass of water whenever Sehun or Jongin are nearby, and another time he shows up with two of his classmates, Kyungsoo and Jongdae. Secretly, though, Zitao likes it the most when it's just Baekhyun by himself, because he likes it when it's just the two of them talking with each other.
On the fifth week in a row that he shows up, Zitao sends him another complimentary slice of cake. "For your loyal patronage," Zitao explains.
"Our five-week anniversary?" You shouldn't have," Baekhyun jokes, before laughing and reaching out to pull Zitao into a one-armed hug.
"I'm glad we met, Huang Zitao," Baekhyun says - unexpectedly, Zitao thinks he feels his heart skip a beat.
Jongin and Sehun start an incredibly unsubtle whispering campaign when he and Baekhyun exchange numbers a few weeks later, because Zitao's cellphone starts going off a few times every hour when before he only got a few texts a day. For the sake of his own sanity, Zitao tries to pretend like he doesn't hear when Jongin comments with things like, "Byun Baekhyun totally wants to tap that," or Sehun when he nods in agreement.
You are fond of those two idiots. Do not strangle them or you will have to hire new waiters, and that would be a real pain, he tells himself as he watches them make lewd gestures whenever they pass behind Baekhyun. The mental pep talk doesn't work, though, so instead he chops up a head of lettuce with more viciousness than strictly necessary. It does nothing in the way of intimidating either of them into being quiet, but it does make Zitao feel a little better, until Sehun walks up to him and shoves a half-crumpled receipt into Zitao's chest.
"Here, a note for you," Sehun says. "From your not-so-secret admirer - he was going to say goodbye in person, but you were busy massacring vegetables, so he decided not to bother you."
Zitao restrains the urge to roll his eyes. "Thanks," he replies. He can't quite keep the sarcasm out of his tone, but Sehun ignores it anyway.
"Can I ask you a favor?" Sehun asks. "Please stop putting me in between your high school level flirting, it makes me seriously nauseous."
Jongin snorts as he walks by, carrying a small stack of dirty dishes to the dishwasher. "Sehun has absolutely no experience with high school romance except from watching terrible romcoms, so you shouldn't listen to him," Jongin says. "I, however, do have experience with high school romance, so you should listen to me when I say you two are getting disgustingly cutesy with each other."
Zitao smooths out the receipt and can't quite suppress a smile - Baekhyun's written a little note of encouragement, complete with smiley faces and hearts. "He actually likes it," Sehun says to Jongin, who leans over and pretends like he's throwing up into the sink.
"Don't you two have other things to do? Like, things which I actually employ you for?" Zitao asks, but he's not serious and all three of them know it.
"I consider this to be a civic duty," Jongin answers, with exaggerated solemnity. "Because nobody should have to witness the sheer sappiness you two bleed all over the place."
"But, you know - it's pretty obvious that he's definitely interested in you," Sehun says. "Are you interested in him, though?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Zitao replies, mostly because he doesn't want to have this discussion with Oh Sehun, of all people.
Sehun scoffs. "Sure you don't. So what are you going to do when he asks you out?"
Zitao doesn't know. "If you two are finished clearing up all the tables, then you guys can take a break now," he says, in a blatant attempt to bribe them to drop the topic. Thankfully, though, both of them take the bait - he ends up having to skip his own break to finish cleaning the kitchen by himself, but he doesn't really mind.
Zitao fell in love with Yifan because Yifan had been the one who first reached out to him those first few weeks after he'd moved to South Korea, when he'd felt alone and friendless and a little scared. It was Yifan who'd introduced him to Yixing and Lu Han, who'd brought him to places all over the city, who'd taught him to live in and love being in Seoul - in turn, Zitao had fallen for him embarrassingly hard and fast.
Baekhyun, though, is different. Baekhyun can make the blood rush to his head with a smile and his heart race whenever Baekhyun reaches out and touches him, but Zitao's still not sure if that's love or just a passing infatuation with the first person to pay him attention in years. He thinks it'd be nice to be in love with Baekhyun, because Baekhyun is warm and kind and there. Even though he only sees Baekhyun once a week, being with him is comfortable, and he thinks that he'd like to be with Baekhyun outside the restaurant too: to walk with him around Seoul, sharing favorite places, or visiting him at his university.
Life is a jumble of constants and variables: maybe, he thinks, there's a part of him that's scared to let go of being in love with Wu Yifan and start being in love with somebody different.
Time flies, and the rainy days of April open up to the far sunnier May afternoons. The date of the engagement dinner comes closer, so Yifan starts calling more often to plan for it, but Zitao tries not to think about that more than he has to. To occupy his spare time, he starts planning the summer menu to be served at the restaurant, and starts experimenting with European cuisines in his spare time. Baekhyun still shows up every Wednesday, but looks more tired than usual - "A project I'm working on is due soon," he explains, rubbing slightly at the dark bags underneath his eyes. Zitao treats him to free cups of coffee and desserts until Baekhyun announces the third week of May that he's finished, beaming and grinning as he reaches over and pulls Zitao in for a celebratory hug, folding his arms tight around Zitao's waist.
They're interrupted when Sehun clears his throat and says, "Um, you two? Are still in a public location. Please control yourselves."
Baekhyun lets Zitao go and sticks his tongue out at Sehun. "I'm not tipping you," he says, but Sehun pretends like he doesn't hear.
"Your unresolved sexual tension is a serious problem that needs to be fixed as soon as possible," Jongin informs him later, after Baekhyun's left. Zitao ignores him, as usual.
A few days before the engagement, Baekhyun comes to the restaurant as always, but instead of greeting Zitao the way he usually does, he says, "Before I say anything else, I wanted to clear something up first." He hesitates for a moment, and Zitao is almost a little surprised, because the only time he's ever seen Baekhyun look so uncertain was the first night they'd met - it's not an emotion that suits him. Finally, though, he asks, "You know the first time I came to the restaurant?"
"Yeah," Zitao replies. "I still even remember what you ordered."
Baekhyun smiles faintly at that. "I'm flattered," he says. The smile doesn't fade, but the expression on his face turns serious as he goes on. "I wanted to explain about that night, though, so that you don't get the wrong impression about me, or what I'm about to ask you next. You remember I got stood up, I'm guessing?"
"Well, yes," Zitao says, tone cautious. There's a part of him that has already sensed where this conversation is going, but his mind refuses to acknowledge it.
"That time, the person who stood me up... it wasn't somebody I knew very well, or anything like that. It was just a blind date. Somebody Chanyeol set me up with." There's a pause. "Actually, I haven't really dated dated in over a year," Baekhyun admits.
Zitao doesn't know how to reply. "I haven't in even longer," he says, blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.
"Then," Baekhyun asks, turning his face up to look Zitao right in the eyes. "Can I ask you on a date, Huang Zitao?"
Zitao closes his eyes and exhales.
Zitao calls Yixing and says, without greeting, "Somebody asked me out today. Somebody I think I might like back."
"What did you say?" Yixing replies.
"I asked him to wait until next week," Zitao answers. He doesn't elaborate on why, because Yixing knows just as well as he does what lies in between today and seven days later.
He expects a warning, or maybe a reproach, but all Yixing asks is, "Are you sure?"
"I'm sure," Zitao says. "It has to be next week. I have to do things properly."
He imagines Yixing closing his eyes and sighing. "I understand," Yixing replies. "Do what feels right."
The evening of the engagement dinner comes. Zitao closes the restaurant after the lunch crowd has filtered out and spends the rest of the afternoon decorating. He puts bowls of water on each table with tea candles in them, and folds colored plastic wrap over the lights, turning them as dim as they'll go so that the restaurant is bathed in shades of dark red. "It's beautiful," Yifan says not half a minute after he walks through the door. "So much more beautiful than anything I could have come up with - it's perfect, honestly."
"Creativity was never really your strong suit to begin with," he teases. "But I'm glad you like it."
"I can't thank you enough for doing this," Yifan says.
"If you want to thank me, then you'd better make sure you make sure this is one of the happiest days of Meili's life, alright?" Zitao replies, smiling.
Yifan laughs. "As if I need you to tell me that," he tells him, but his tone's not serious, and he reaches over and squeezes Zitao's arm lightly.
"Then you'd better not let me down now, alright?" Zitao says. The lighthearted bantering comes easily to him - probably, he thinks, more easily than it ever has before.
Yifan, he thinks, must have noticed it too, because then he says, "You seem happier lately, Zitao. I don't know why that is, but I'm glad." He smiles, patting Zitao's arm one last time before letting to. "You, of all people, deserve it."
"I am," Zitao replies, and grins in return. "I'm really happy."
The dinner goes well: Meili cries a little when Yifan gets on one knee and holds a ring out to her after they've finished dessert. "Yes, yes, a million times yes," she says, and for a few moments both of them just smile and stare at each other, shamelessly teary-eyed and hopelessly in love with each other. Zitao can't help but smile along with them just watching, because it's beautiful and this ending, he thinks, is satisfying: it takes him three years, but he finishes falling out of love.
Baekhyun comes by late Wednesday afternoon as he always does. "Hey, how are you?" he asks as he walks towards the open kitchen.
"I'm good," Zitao says, and smiles. "How are you?"
"I'm nervous," Baekhyun admits, before changing the subject: "What should I get to eat?"
"I prepared something already, when I was waiting for you to come. A cold noodle dish. Is that alright?" Zitao asks.
Baekhyun laughs a little at that, and replies, "You're never going to forget that, are you?"
"I cook for a living - it's only natural I remember that much," Zitao replies, smiling slightly.
"Cold noodles are fine," Baekhyun says.
Zitao stares at the ground and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry for making you wait, but I'm ready now," Zitao says, meeting Baekhyun's gaze. He can't quite read the expression in Baekhyun's eyes, but he goes on anyway. "Can I take you on a date, Byun Baekhyun?"
Wu Yifan might have been Zitao's first love, but Baekhyun is the first person he's ever confessed to, and it's wrecking his nerves and his heart more than anything else has before. But then Baekhyun smiles - "I'd like that," he says. "I'd like that a lot."